Woohyun’s POV

         When I got to the bus, I thought about everything Yuri had told me.

         “Because you need to know that even though you’re already an adult, a girl is making you such a mess like this, don’t you see? You must like her a lot.”

         “I hope that Hyewon-ssi is a very special girl.”

         “She’s not gonna wait that much.”

         “The feeling that made you so sad today, the feeling that makes you so thoughtful, the feeling that makes you not even able to know well how you feel towards her.

         Hyewon-ssi, what do I feel towards you?

         Hyewon-ssi, do you feel something towards me?

         Hyewon-ssi, I just know that… I like you.

         When I got home, I waited for her as I’d been used to but this time I wasn’t happy. I was so confused, I couldn’t know how exactly I was feeling at that time. When she arrived, she seemed somehow uncomfortable. Her face was straightened but she still was managing to fake a smile (I was already used to know when she was faking smiles and when she wasn’t). I told her to have a sit next to me but she refused saying that she wanted to just go home. I also asked her if I could go home along her and I’d cook something but she refused all my words.

         My heart was aching by every word she said. She then just said goodbye and I watched her back till she disappeared climbing the stairs up to her department. Why all this was happening? Why she was so weird when I needed her the most? What had happened to her? My day finished the worst possible.

         The next day, mom called me early to wake me up as usually.

         “Mom.” I said while putting my watch on my wrist.

         “Hi, adeul. Are you feeling okay?” It was all that she said. Didn’t she have something else to ask? Like how was the job yesterday or something? Why she had to ask such stupid thing? Didn’t she know that if I answer like that to the phone, it definitely means I do not want to talk to her?

         “No, I’m okay. Why everyone is asking me this so often lately? Aish…” I scratched my head and kicked the shoes that were on my way to the kitchen.

         “Eh? What happens, Woohyun-ah? Are you really okay? Don’t you–”

         “I’m okay.” I cut off her words even knowing that she had already started to worry about my condition. “Never mind what I just said, hmm? Let’s talk later. I’m hanging up.”

         I didn’t even take breakfast that morning because I’d lost my appetite so early. When I was going down stairs, I wasn't sure if I wanted to see her or not. I was so confused about my feelings and everything and I thought it definitely won’t help to see her that day. Fortunately, she wasn’t there —as she hadn’t been lately.

         I got to the restaurant apparently in the same mood than the day before because my colleagues never stopped asking me if something happened to me or if I was okay, to which I always had to answer nothing was happening and almost had to ignore their continuous questions that were already annoying me. That until Yuri came with the same look that had come to me the day before, like wanting to hug me because I looked so pity or something and that made me even angrier because I wasn’t pity at all. Was I?

         “Woohyun-ah, hi.” She sat next to me and I just waved at her. “I’m not gonna ask you how are you because you’re definitely not okay.” I furrowed but didn’t give any look to her because I was afraid that I’ll give her a bad look and after all, she was my boss so I shouldn’t be so easy with her. “Have you talked to your girl?”

         “She is not my girl.” I couldn’t hide my discomfort with the therm. I didn’t even know why I was so mad at it. Hyewon wasn’t my girl, she was just a girl that lived in the same building than I and with whom I’d been talking a lot the last few weeks. She wasn’t my girl. She was even more that Yang Seungho’s girl than mine. And all those thoughts made me sick and angrier and I was trying so hard not to respond angrily to Yuri. “And no, I haven’t talked to her.”

         “Oh, I see. Don’t take too long.” She said with a sigh and it made me even more annoyed. As if I didn’t want to talk to her too! I did want to talk to her but it seemed she was the one who didn’t want to talk to me! What could I do in such situation? Nothing! I could do nothing! And that made me even much more annoyed.

         “Um.” I nodded and she left.

         When I got home, I couldn’t help but wait for her as it had already became my habit but even after I waited for her for hours, she never appeared. Was she even still living there? I couldn’t do anything else than going up to my department and after a long while, fall asleep.

Hyewon’s POV

         I woke up the next morning feeling a big pain in my heart, and I didn’t I was feeling so weak and sad. It was might’ve been because I wanted so hard to see Nam Woohyun again and share time with him but my heart was in such confusion that I couldn’t allow me to do it, because I’d end up hurting myself and most important, hurting him, too. I had to stop that feeling that was growing inside of me.

         I arrived to college without even realizing it. I was so deep into my thoughts about Nam Woohyun that I didn’t realize how long it had passed since Seungho arrived and was staring at me with his deep eyes.

         “Oh, oppa…” I said as I came back from my thoughts. He was frowning at me but I didn’t pay much attention to it.

         “Are you okay?” He asked still frowning. I shook my head and he clenched his eyebrows but then changed his usual face, to that one that I didn’t want to see again. “Hyewon-ah…” He said with his deep voice. “I… Need you…” I sighed more in anger than anything else. I had too many things to think about and I didn’t want him to become another thing more.

         “Oppa, please… Let’s… Just not start again with this…” I fused the softer voice I could find and told him everything because I didn’t want to make him feel upset or something.

         “I’m not kidding this time —as any other time— but! I do need you now.” His face wasn’t a joke. He did seem to need me so I frowned.

         “What do you need?”

         “Uh… Have a coffee with me, like in the past.”

         “I gotta go to class right now and then work and I don’t think I’ll be able to–”

         “I didn’t say yet the date, why you’re already refusing?” He laughed a bit but I knew he wasn’t laughing for real and it didn’t make me laugh so I just kept my straight face.

         “But–”

         “Can’t you take a few minutes and drink the coffee with me?” He cut off my words and smiled to me in that way that I used not to been able to refuse… in the past. But we were not anymore in the past.

         “I can’t, Seungho oppa, I really can’t.”

         “Isn’t your class at 10am?” I nodded not knowing what he wanted. “Well, it’s just 9:20am. Your class is not right now, you can drink the coffee with me. I won’t take so long.” He was insisting so hard that I couldn’t stay straight to my words and after a sigh, I nodded.

         On the way to the cafe, Seungho took my hand and squeezed it strong when I tried to let my hand go.

        “Op–”

         “Let me hold your hand like this at least once again.” He said without even looking at me. I looked from his face that was unchanging, to our hands clasped together and it made my heart ache a bit.

         We sat one in front of each other in silence. Seungho was staring deeply at me without saying anything as I was just looking outside through the glass window.

         “Then, what did you need from me?” I finally spoke and he took a few minutes to answer.

         “What do I need?” His gaze went up to the ceiling. “I need everything from you, Hyewon-ah, haven’t you notice it already?” He stared again at me with his deep eyes and I felt again so annoyed (because I’d tried not to show him my anger but it was a waste because he’ll make me angry again) as I couldn’t hide it.

         “Is this why you called me?” I wasn’t trying to hide my discomfort.

         “For this? That’s how you refer to what I feel for you, Kang Hyewon?” He wasn’t hiding the anger either that was overflowing him. “Why you can’t see how I feel?”

         “Because I don’t feel anything anymore.” The words felt so strange on my lips. I felt a deep thing going down my throat to my stomach and it made me feel a bit dizzy. “So you have to feel nothing anymore, too.” I didn’t know who was the person that was being so rude with someone that had been so special to me for so many years.

         “You don’t feel anything anymore is what you just said? Say something that makes sense, Kang Hyewon. This is the biggest lie you’ve ever told me.” I didn’t say anything because I might spoil all the theater that I’d been creating. So I just let him continue. “It’s hard to be without you, this is so ing hard to handle. Isn’t it hard for you, too? Why you lie to yourself and try to fool me? Don’t you see you’re just fooling yourself saying all those things?”

         I was at loss of what to say. I didn’t know how to answer all that. It wasn’t as if I didn’t have feelings for him anymore. I was obviously lying but I couldn’t just confess my feelings to him again because that was exactly the thing I didn’t know about: my feelings. I was starting to feel something for Nam Woohyun but I clearly couldn’t just get off Seungho and that was what had been making me feel so lost at everything.

         “Did I do something bad or am I doing anything that you don’t like? What do I need to make you come back to me?” He said with the softer voice at that time. That voice that I was used to when I was crying and he was there to comfort me. That voice that was my healer before. But the same voice that was making me feel so confused at that time.

         I want you to leave the drugs, oppa. Maybe I could think of going back to you. But how can I go back with you when you’re still in that nasty world that just destroys you? Don’t you see the damage it causes to you? I don’t want to be with you like that because I’m afraid that you will get even more into it rather than just leaving them.

         “Oppa, there’s nothing that can be done.” Although I wanted to say all sort of things to him, I could only reply with few words because I knew all what I said to him would only be words thrown to the air and he’ll not listen what I could tell him.

         “Nothing can be done? Are you sure of that?” He stared at me once again with his very deep eyes, making me more nervous as I could just nod. “Then… come with