SIU Central Library, a week later

 

College students knew well what was coming to their table a month after the spring semester kicked off; assignments started piling up and taking over their daily lives, while at the same time they had to handle the preparations for various upcoming university events.

For students of English Literature Department, it would mean more days to spend at the library with dozens of reading materials and literature review papers. During those days, it was common to see the sight of students sitting before stacks of books as they occasionally scratched their heads, clicked their tongues and even groaned in frustrations.

“Yah, Choi Minho. Stop wriggling on your seat, will you,” Jonghyun whispered as he threw a sharp glance at his junior next to him.

Minho, who had a hard time trying to understand the plot of a legendary American Novel, To Kill a Mockingbird, said sorry with an apologetic smile. He straightened his back and continued with his reading. His fingers spinning the pencil he had held since an hour ago.

Jonghyun returned his focus to the passage he had been reading on in the Essays: English and American, and used the yellow marker now and then to mark the important lines. Although he sat leisurely with the book on his lap, he also found a hard time to find arguments that could support his literary analysis assignment.

But Jonghyun was again distracted when Minho began to move his body back and forth on his seat. At first, Jonghyun decided to let it pass since he felt empathetic towards his junior, but Jonghyun reached his limit when Minho began nagging… to the book.

“Yah!” Jonghyun nudged Minho with his elbow, “Stop doing that! I can’t concentrate!”

“Ah, hyung!” Minho groaned as he moved to shake Jonghyun’s right arm, “This is crazy! I cannot understand the plot yet, but I have to make summary and analyze the structure. I even have to criticize it—I mean, who am I to do that—”

“Geez, are you the only one who have assignments here? Can’t you see what I am doing?” Jonghyun nagged through gritted teeth.

Minho lowered his head. “Sorry...”

Jonghyun sighed, slightly feeling guilty for nagging at his junior. He patted Minho on his back. “Hey, just do it slowly. I’ll see what I can do to help later.”

As Minho returned to his book, Jonghyun realized that he felt irritated due to hunger; he had skipped breakfast and lunch time today. Everyone knew Jonghyun easily got upset when he missed his meals, but he couldn’t help it since he should finish and submit the analysis by this afternoon. He had considered buying fast food near the library, but he was afraid of getting sleepy after eating.

He was walking towards the toilet to freshen up his face when a familiar woman suddenly called his name and waved her hand. “Jonghyun-ah!”

“Ah, Taeyeon noona!” Jonghyun said as he bowed in respect, “What are you doing here?”

“I was looking for you, but I could not contact your number. So I called Jungshin and he told me you might be here,” she said.

Jonghun grabbed his jeans’ pocket in reflex. “Ah, sorry. I think I left my cellphone at the dorm. Is it something important?”

“I need to talk to you about our collaboration performance for the Fine Arts Festival. Are you busy right now?”

“Yeah, I am occupied with my assignment,” Jonghyun grinned as he his hair, “Anyway, shouldn’t we discuss about this with all members too? But Yonghwa hyung is currently out of town.”

“I know, Yonghwa called me this morning. But, the thing is,” Taeyeon paused, tucking her hair behind her ear, “We need to discuss it today. Tiffany and I will be out of town tomorrow and, the day after, all seniors will be away too.”

“Ah, all of you must be very busy with your final projects."

Taeyeon nodded. “So, Yonghwa advised me to meet you and other members instead.”

“Is that so,” Jonghyun pursed his lips, “Then how about this evening? I think our members will be free.”

“Okay, let’s meet at our dorm, then. How about dinner time?”

“Dinner time?” Jonghyun’s eyes sparked brighter, “All settled then! We will see you after seven, how about that, noona?”

“You are so upbeat about dinner, aren’t you?” Taeyeon chuckled knowingly.

~~~

 

SIU's Dormitory Building 911 D, 9th floor

“It’s kind of strange, you know, attending a meeting without Yonghwa hyung.”

Jonghyun eyed Jungshin who was walking next to him while carrying a crate of cola on his hand. He agreed, but decided to just nod in silence since he was busy scanning the row of doors to find house no. 908.

“Yeah, CNBLUE is CNBLUE as four, isn’t it?” Minhyuk said as he briefly checked the appearance of the strawberry shortcake inside the paperbag he carried.

“Okay, this is it,” Jonghyun said as he stopped in front of the 908’s door. He turned to look at the maknaes before knocking the door. “Behave yourselves, okay?”

The two nodded their head and briefly checked their appearance. Unlike Jonghyun, who managed to come home and changed his clothes before heading out to the dinner, Minhyuk and Jungshin rushed after their full-day schedule and were still in their morning attires.

In seconds, someone opened the door.

Instead of greeting the woman in front of him, Jonghyun blinked his eyes several times and cleared his throat. The woman also widened her eyes with agape.

“Yoona? Why are you here?” Jonghyun asked. He eyed the door’s number, in case he had knocked the wrong room at the wrong floor.

"Well... I happen to be here,” Yoona’s voice sounded like a whisper.

Jonghyun mouthed a silent “oh” while Yoona stood still with her lips pursed, taken aback by the situation.

“Ah, Yoona noona!” Jungshin broke the awkward atmosphere between the two, waving his hand as he slipped to the front, followed by Minhyuk who was also excited to see her.

“How are you? It’s been a long time!” Minhyuk grinned happily.

“Ck, these kids,” Jonghyun stepped forward, kind of pushing the two boys aside. “Is Taeyeon noona here?”

Jungshin and Minhyuk stared at Jonghyun in disbelief, as if saying “what’s with your blunt attitude?”

“Yes, unnies are all here. Come in."

The three followed Yoona to the living room, where Jessica, Hyoyeon, Taeyeon and Sunye sat on the sofa while watching a variety show on the TV. The girls got up to greet them when they came, during which Jonghyun said that they bought a cake and cola for snacking after dinner.

Hyoyeon called Tiffany and Sunny, who were in their room, while Taeyeon told the three guys to take a seat. Sunye and Jessica, who did not have any business with CNBLUE and Vocal Music department’s collaboration, excused themselves from the living room.

“Business… or dinner first?” Taeyeon asked, slightly joking.

Jonghyun, who sat in between Minhyuk and Jungshin, shrugged his shoulder. “It’s up to you, noona. It’s your house, after all.”

Tiffany and Sunny giggled; Jonghyun’s timid way of talking was funny.

Taeyeon decided to get down to the business and began by explaining her conversation she had had with Yonghwa earlier in the morning. According to Taeyeon, Yonghwa had picked several songs as options for their collaborative performance.

Although Jonghyun’s ears focused on listening to Taeyeon, his eyes followed the movement of Yoona, who was walking towards the room at the corner of the dorm. Fortunately, no one realized what he did.

The discussion went on for about an hour, during which Taeyeon and Jonghyun led the talk as the representatives of their respective groups. While Minhyuk and Jungshin mostly nodded along, Sunny and Tiffany often pitched in their ideas to make their performance better.

Deciding the song that they would sing took almost half of the one-hour talk alone, in which Yonghwa also participated through a telephone call from Ilsan. At the end they agreed to sing Kelly Clarkson’s My Life would without You and scheduled their first joint practice on Thursday next week.

It was 9 p.m. when they ended the discussion and proceed to eat dinner together. Jungshin helped Tiffany to serve the strawberry shortcake on the table, while Minhyuk followed Sunny to the kitchen to help her serving the meals. Jonghyun, on the other hand, arranged the cola cans by himself.

Jonghyun looked up when he heard Yoona laughed from the other side of the room. She was talking with Taeyeon while taking out the plates from the cupboard, and Jonghyun could feel his heart pounding out of nowhere.

Little did he know that when he turned his face away, Yoona turned to look at Jonghyun. Although the dorm was full of people, Yoona also questioned why it felt like her attention was always drawn to the man across the room.

They ate the dinner at the living room. Since the seats were not enough, the three men sat on the chairs they dragged from the dining table. The menu was simple, only steamed chicken served with rice, kimchi and side dishes, but the CNBLUE members—known as gluttons—seemed delightful with the meals.

"This chicken is really good," Jungshin said, "I wonder who made it.”

"It is Yoona's.”

Jungshin and Minhyuk immediately looked at Jonghyun, silently asking “you know?”, but the latter could not care less; he kept chewing on the chicken and took a spoonful of rice into his mouth.

The seniors were in their own conversation, so they couldn’t hear what Jonghyun had said. But Yoona and Sunny, who managed to hear his statement, stared at him in curiosity. Still, Jonghyun just continued eating casually, did not even realize that he just blurted out something from his unconscious mind.

How could he know that I made the steamed chicken? Yoona stopped chewing her food to ask Jonghyun the exact question on her mind, but Tiffany suddenly called his name.

“So, how is the relationship between our bickering couple after you told him the story from Seohyun’s side?” Tiffany asked, referring to Yonghwa and Seohyun.

Jonghyun sighed. “At first I thought it is getting better, but yesterday I overheard Yonghwa hyung when he talked on the phone and he brought up the subject again. I think they haven’t met up since their quarrel, but he insisted they are okay now. It’s weird.”

"Same here," Sunye tilted her head, recalling something, "Seohyun still seems irritated every time we talk about Yonghwa.”

“I think the root problem is still left unaddressed. Wouldn’t it be better if Kyuhyun and Shinhye meet the two to explain the misunderstanding directly?” Sunny suggested as she moved her chopsticks in the air.

“Ah, right, noona. I’ve been thinking about it too,” Minhyuk paused to look at Jonghyun. “Aren’t you a close friend of Kyuhyun hyung?”

Jonghyun nodded.

“You are also quite close with Shinhye noona, so maybe you can talk and ask them to meet Yonghwa hyung and Seohyun, right?” Minhyuk went on to ask.

Taeyeon clasped her hands. “I think that’s a good idea. What do you think, Jonghyun?”

While drinking his cola, Jonghyun thought over the suggestion. Do I have to in this far?

But come to think of the plan, it might help Yonghwa and Seohyun to reconcile. After all, the two were his best friends too, and if it would help the couple to return to the way they used to be, he might as well do it for their sakes.

"Of course. I’ll contact them tomorrow and I’ll let you know,” Jonghyun replied.

“We are very thankful, but somehow we feel bad if you do this on your own,” Hyoyeon said, “So, Yoona, maybe you can help Jonghyun?

Before Yoona managed to say a word, Jonghyun rejected the idea. “It’s okay, noona. Yoona has helped me enough during our meeting the other day.”

“Still, we think it’s good if Yoona come along with you,” Jessica suddenly stepped in, “She could help you to explain Seohyun’s point of view in this problem, don’t you think?”

“I can do it,” Yoona said, interrupting Jonghyun who was going to say something. “I will help him, unnie.”

Jonghyun turned to look at Yoona, but she had already buried her face behind her hair.

~~~

 

Jonghyun slipped away to the kitchen when the others were munching on the shortcake and talking casually to each other. He was never particularly a sweet tooth; he preferred savory snacks and street foods better, so he did not mind to give his share to Minhyuk when the latter asked for another piece of cake.

He brought empty cans of cola in a plastic bag to throw them away into the garbage bin, but he couldn’t resist to stop near the sink when he heard the woman in apron, who was washing the dishes, singing Jason Mraz’s song in high pitch voice.

“I once wondered why you weren’t enrolled in Music academy,” Jonghyun said with his eyes stuck on his fingers, trying to tie the plastic bag, “But after I saw you dance, I decided that dancing is indeed your forte.”

Yoona—who was startled at first—smiled and turned her eyes back to unwashed dishes. "Thank you."

Jonghyun dropped the plastic bag into the garbage bin and stood in front of it, doing nothing in particular. He knew he should leave since there was nothing more to be done in the kitchen, but he wanted to linger there.

"You know, you can disagree on helping me if you don't want to.”

“I want to,” Yoona replied shortly.

"Are you sure? Because you looked like—"

"Isn't it you who don't want me to help you?" she suddenly stopped the tap water and turned to look at Jonghyun, who seemed surprised with her response.

"What do you mean?" Jonghyun furrowed his eyebrows.

"You kept rejecting the suggestion for me to help you. I saw it,” Yoona said.

"No, it's not like that," Jonghyun shook his head. He leaned his body against the kitchen’s counter. "I just don't want you to be uncomfortable."

Yoona crossed her arms in front of her chest and stared into Jonghyun’s eyes, which also stared back at hers. She broke their eye contact within seconds and sighed.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure," Jonghyun replied.

"How did you know that I made the steamed chicken?" Yoona tilted her head; her eyes digging into Jonghyun's.

"Well,” Jonghyun paused, biting his lip, “I just happen to know.”

"Don't lie to me. Tell me,” Yoona's word sounded more like an order than a statement.

Instead of giving in to her, Jonghyun smiled and shook his head. "No."

He slightly patted Yoona’s arm before walking away from the kitchen, leaving Yoona standing alone next to the sink. She stared at his back, wondering why Jonghyun suddenly acted like he was avoiding her.

When she returned to the living room, the CNBLUE members were already prepared to leave. Taeyeon and Tiffany escorted them to the front door while confirming that they would be meeting again next week.

“Yoona, aren’t you going home too?” Sunny suddenly asked. She grabbed Yoona’s bag from the sofa and gave it to her, slightly pushing Yoona to go with Jonghyun and his juniors.

“Ah… okay, unnie,” Yoona was flustered, but she followed behind the guys anyway.

Jungshin and Minhyuk walked in front, talking to each other, while Jonghyun followed behind the two in silence. Yoona purposely caught the distance between her and Jonghyun to walk by his side. Jonghyun turned his head to look at her, but he did not say anything. She tried to look into his eyes, but he quickly averted his gaze.

Jonghyun immediately pressed both number 1 and 7, the floor of Yoona’s dorm, and the close door button after they entered the elevator. It would only take seconds to arrive at the 7th floor, and only seconds for Yoona to call it a night.

If I want to ask him, it is now or never.

“I need to talk to you,” Yoona leaned in to whisper to Jonghyun, seconds before the elevator door opened.

Jonghyun sighed and turned to look at the two maknaes. “Wait for me at the lobby.”

Unaware by the situation, Minhyuk and Jungshin just bowed and smiled when Yoona said goodbye. The elevator door shut, leaving only Jonghyun and Yoona in the deserted corridor.

It was already near midnight and the 7th floor was empty; only the sounds of TV and music playing from a distance filled the air. Yoona led the walk to her dorm’s direction and Jonghyun quietly followed behind her with his hands tucked on his jacket.

Yoona suddenly stopped at the end of the corridor and turned to face Jonghyun, who looked back at her eyes briefly before he broke the eye contact and stared at his running shoes instead. He stole a glance at her again and found Yoona still looking at him with her lips pouted.

“What is it?” Jonghyun asked first.

"Why are you avoiding me?"

“No, I am not,” Jonghyun replied, somehow reluctantly. He broke the eye contact and his eyes moved without particular direction. “You seem to have many questions today."

"There, you just did it. Avoiding me.”

Jonghyun pursed his lips and threw an apologetic smile. “I am sorry.”

"If you are sorry, then please tell me," Yoona said, softly, “Why are you avoiding me?”

“I am not avoiding you, Im Yoona,” Jonghyun paused, trying to find the right words to say. If there was one thing he learned from majoring in literature, it was that ‘finding words is easy, finding the right words is hard’.

“I am… trying not to have to avoid you, to be exact,” he continued.

“What does it mean?” Yoona frowned.

“Do you know the reason why I knew that you cooked the steamed chicken?” instead of answering, Jonghyun gave Yoona another question, another challenge.

She shook her head.

“Because I’ve tasted it before, and you have once—or twice—told me that steamed chicken was your specialty.”

“Y-you did—I did?” Yoona stumbled over her words, “When?”

“I don’t want to remember it, but believe me, we had,” Jonghyun spoke fast, as if the answer was on his tongue’s tip all along.

Wait. He still remembers?

A memory of one particular day in summer suddenly struck her like a lightning; the day when she cooked the steamed chicken and brought it for Jonghyun because the latter did not believe Yoona saying she was a great cook.

It was the day when Yoona and Jonghyun ended up sitting at the park, drinking bottles of soju, eating steamed chicken instead of the fried one and discussing about why Wuthering Heights was one of the greatest gothic-classic romance literature of all time.

“Lee Jonghyun,” Yoona paused and looked up into his eyes, longing for a chance to blurt out everything inside her head, “I’ve been meaning to say this, but—”

“Do you remember the story I told you a week ago?”

Yoona widened her eyes, not because Jonghyun had cut off everything she wanted to say, but because his voice was soft and sincere, different than the other days when they met recently. She looked up and found a pair of dark eyes greeted her warmly.

For one second there, Yoona could see Jonghyun returned to be that someone she used to know.

"You might not get the story—and I can understand it—but it was a metaphor for me," Jonghyun paused, "And for you."

"Metaphor? You... and me?" Yoona tried to solve the puzzle inside her mind.

Jonghyun suddenly grabbed Yoona’s right hand and held it loosely, playing with her fingers on his grasp.

“I don’t want to look back—no, not that—I will not look back, Im Yoona,” Jonghyun said as he stared at their intertwined fingers.

“If I want to forget you, I need to avoid you at all costs. But some part of me is really happy to talk to you again and it wants you when you are near. So the only thing I can do is restraining myself to not remember the way it used to be, but rather to remember you as you are right now.

“So I prefer not to remember about the past. I’d like to leave the memories as they are. Like crystalized,” Jonghyun smiled faintly, “You get what I mean?”

Yoona’s eyes looked blank. “You mean… you want to… distance ourselves from the past?”

"Yes, from the collection of our memories, to some extent,” Jonghyun said, “So, let’s just be… whatever we want to be—whatever you want to be, or simply just be friends.”

"But, why?"

"Because I don't want us to be sorry for ourselves. I don't want you to be sorry for me."

Jonghyun let go of her hand and patted Yoona’s head instead, trying to ignore the fact that his last words left a great impact for Yoona. He chuckled when he saw that she was flustered. “Don’t think about it so hard. I am just being honest, you know.”

“I know,” Yoona replied as she stared on her fingers, somehow remembering the way Jonghyun held them in his hand. “It just takes time to understand.”

Jonghyun pursed his lips and glanced at his wristwatch before he buried both of his hands into the jacket’s pockets. “Anyway, I will leave you here. It’s late already. Jonghyun and Minhyuk are also waiting downstairs.”

Yoona nodded and told him to be safe on his way home. “Thank you, Lee Jonghyun.”

“For what?”

“Everything.”

Jonghyun was taken aback for a second as he thought he saw Yoona’s eyes got teary, but she quickly smiled and waved her hand, saying goodbye. Again.

"Sure," Jonghyun stepped back and slowly turned his body away from her. "I will see you soon."

 

 

---

Author's Note

Hello, good evening all! How's your day so far?

First of all I am very sorry for updating this late, I've been busy with many other projects like making scripts for movies, assignments, and also writing too. I hope you are going to forgive me...

How's this chapter so far? My heart is literally pounding as I write towards the end of the chapter. Wow, I am falling in love with Jonghyun :p

Well, please do vote, subscribe, and comment if you are interested. Thank you so much people! xx