Outdoor Concert Hall, Fine Arts and Music Department

 

College boys gathered under the sun that day with their eyes stuck on the girls on the stage. Once in a while, someone in the crowd would mention the name of the members of f(x), a new girl group in the college, and praised their performance. They appeared to enjoy the rehearsal stage, clearly unbothered by the fact that they also should start preparing their own performance since the main event of the Fine Arts Festival would start in four hours.

So did the CNBLUE members, who in fact had their rehearsal scheduled in the next 45 minutes.

“I always like Soojung. Man, look at her dancing,” Minhyuk said, grinning widely.

Jungshin eyed Minhyuk before he looked back to the only woman with blonde hair on the stage. “For me, it’s Jinri. I think I have a crush on her since she entered my department.”

“My girlfriend is still better.”

The two youngsters immediately turned their heads to look at Yonghwa with their eyes widened. The leader casually stared back while sipping his ice Americano. “Why?”

“Look at you bragging about her,” Jungshin sneered, “She is not even the lead dancer in her group.”

“Yah, let him brag,” Minhyuk butted in, “I bet he couldn't have done that if it was not for Jonghyun hyung who had saved his relationship.”

“Shut up,” Yonghwa immediately glared at the two before he stole a look at the man next to him who just smirked, probably feeling proud.

Suddenly the crowd of men—including Jungshin and Minhyuk—screamed loudly while applauding the performance of f(x) after the latter’s rehearsal ended. The girls on the stage smiled shyly to the crowd, driving the men to scream even louder, with one or two of them calling their crush names.

“Come on, we should go to the backstage since our rehearsal is one performance away,” Yonghwa said as he looked at the crowd that began to disperse.

The members started walking away, but one man seemed reluctant to follow. He lingered on his place and continued staring at the stage while sipping his coke, half wishing that Yonghwa would not turn back and order him to go with them.

Minhyuk, as always, was the first one who noticed that Jonghyun was missing. He stopped walking to look at Jonghyun’s direction before looking back to the other two members who were already near the backstage entrance.

“Hyung, are you coming?” Minhyuk shouted.

“One second,” Jonghyun said with his eyes stuck on the stage.

The ballet team from Dance Department subsequently appeared from behind the backstage, one by one entering the stage. There were faces that Jonghyun recognized among the dancers, but the one he had waited for did not yet appear. Jonghyun eyed the backstage entrance and saw the members—including Minhyuk—already disappeared.

It had been three weeks since the last time Jonghyun saw Yoona, which also meant the last time the two spoke to each other. After their last meeting in front of the Dance Department building, they did not exchange text or calls anymore, let alone seeing one another after class. There wasn’t a time when the two met by chance, possibly because they were busy with their own exam schedules and assignments.

Following Kyuhyun and Shinhye’s meeting with Yonghwa and Seohyun, the latter’s relationship had returned to normal so Jonghyun felt there was no reason for him to continue texting or meeting Yoona. He assumed that Yoona felt the same way, judging from the absence of her texts or calls buzzing his phone.

Of course, there were times when Jonghyun wanted to text her, but he always ended up erasing the words even before he wrote a grammatically-perfect sentence. Wouldn’t it be awkward to suddenly ask her “how are you?” or “let’s eat together tomorrow?” Even their conversation in the past months mainly revolved around their mission to rescue the couple’s relationship. Had there been casual talks in between those conversation, they would have appeared only to fill the silence, or to feed Jonghyun’s greed to talk longer to Yoona—though Jonghyun himself still tried to deny the latter.

A woman in blue tutu dress who appeared behind a man—Wooyoung, was it?—and walked forward to the center of the stage suddenly caught Jonghyun’s attention. She started an arabesque pose and began acting in a scene where Cosette met Marius for the first time in an alley of a market in Paris. She looked so immersed in her role, up to the point that a part of Jonghyun wished he was Wooyoung who played Marius at the time.

Jonghyun’s phone vibrated on his pocket. He raised an eyebrow when he checked the message.

 

Jung Yonghwa
12:55 p.m.

Come to the backstage instead of smiling like an idiot there.
At least don’t be so obvious. Watch her from here.

 

Jonghyun eyed the visible part of the backstage behind the dancers on the stage. He spotted the three CNBLUE members peeking out to watch the ballet performance from the alley that connected the stage to the backstage. While Jungshin and Minhyuk attentively stared at the dancers, Yonghwa was looking at Jonghyun, signaling him to join them.

The man in front of the stage only smirked and put his phone back into his pocket. He ignored the leader’s text message and continued staring at Cosette with a smile tugging up at the corner of his mouth. 

 

~~~

 

This year's Fine Arts Festival kicked off with flying colors as expected. Crowds of visitors, ranging from SIU students of various departments, fellow college students from other universities to teenagers in their school uniforms, thronged in front of the stage and filled the seats of the outdoor hall. Like the previous ones, the tickets for the festival had sold out even days before it was held, as the event was crowned as one of the most anticipated university festivals in Seoul owing to the impressive line-up of performers who were well-known among the young people.

Jonghyun once again tuned his guitar as CNBLUE members walked towards the backstage from the tent that served as the 'waiting room' for performers. The band was scheduled to go on stage at 7:45 p.m. and they were called to be on stand by since their performance was only 15 minutes away. Minhyuk played his drumsticks on the air along their way, trying to hit the rhytm of ballet music that echoed through the sound system.

The four guys sat on plastic chairs near a TV monitor, through which students who were involved in the organizer committee kept track on the event. The ballet performance apparently attracted the attention of many of the staff members; a few of them even sat on the ground to watch the TV since the chairs were all occupied. They seemed absorbed in the scene where Jokwon, who played the role of Jean Valjean, met Cosette and Marius again as the story almost reached the ending.

Jungshin and Minhyuk dragged their chairs as close as possible to the TV, their eyes were glued to the monitor as they exchanged praises for the dancers. Yonghwa also watched the performance intently, his body leaned forward as he rested his arms on his thighs, though he did not move his chair from its original position and preferred to maintain the distance. Next to him, Jonghyun sat with his back pressed against the chair and arms crossed on the chest.

The ending was met with a round of applause and cheers from all students in the backstage. A staff member called CNBLUE to stand by next to the stage and Yonghwa immediately got up from his seat. As he hung the guitar strap on his shoulder, Yonghwa noticed that Jonghyun still remained on his seat, his eyes were staring at the monitor but his gaze looked blank, as if his mind was somewhere else. The leader kicked Jonghyun's left foot and signaled with his head that they had to go.

As the dancers went down the stage one by one, passing by the band members near the staircase, Jonghyun's eyes searched for one particular girl among them.

But she was nowhere to be found.

"Let's go," Yonghwa gave the cue for them to get on stage, "Let's give our best."

As always, lively atmosphere from the crowds always greeted CNBLUE every time they performed. They opened the stage with their hit song, 'I'm a Loner', which paved the way for CNBLUE to gain a foothold in the college music scene. Yonghwa led his bandmates to give introduction and did a small talk before they proceeded with their other songs, 'Love', 'Hey You', and 'I'm Sorry'. The people among the crowds sang along with them, some of their fans even screamed the band members' name now and then. After they performed four songs, Yonghwa thanked the attendees who had come to the festival and ended their performance with 'Teardrops in the Rain', for which Jonghyun was the lead vocalist.

They got off the stage and went straight to the tent where they kept their belonging. After they packed their equipment, Jungshin and Minhyuk told their two seniors that they wanted to buy some beverages from the coffee truck outside the outdoor concert hall and asked if the two wanted to come. Yonghwa said he had promised to meet up with Doojoon so he had to leave right away. The three left Jonghyun alone in the tent since he said he wanted to sit there for a while.

"Hey, I heard one of the student from the dance department was rushed to the hospital?"

Jonghyun stopped drinking his water when he overheard a staff member, who just came inside the tent, asking the question to his colleague who happened to be sitting near Jonghyun.

"Yes, didn't you see the commotion back there?" the girl replied, "She passed out near the backstage after the ballet performance ended. The ambulance took her to the university hospital."

The boy sat next to her. "I hope it's nothing serious. Why did she pass out?"

The girl shook her head and shrugged her shoulders. "Maybe she's exhausted. She looked so thin. Poor her, I hope she's OK."

Jonghyun could feel blood rushing in his chest, his heartbeat suddenly quickened. Cold sweats dripped on the back of his neck as his mind repeated the same mantra over and over again, hoping that the worst-case scenario he imagined would not turn out to be true. Not her, not her...

"Do you know her name?" the boy asked again.

"No, but I remember her because she danced really well," the girl said, "She's the one in a blue tutu dress."

 

~~~

 

SIU's Dormitory Building 911B, House No. 304

The man at the dining room let out a deep sigh as he glanced at the clock on the wall. It was already half past twelve in the morning and the person he had been waiting for still yet to return home. He opened his second can of beer and took a gulp, his eyes reading a new message in the phone on his left hand. It was from his girlfriend, who told him that she had arrived safely at her dorm.

He replied the text and said good night before he put his phone on the table. The voice of the late Freddie Mercury singing 'Love of My Life' filled the otherwise silent night through the bluetooth speaker. He found himself humming to the song, mouthing the sweet yet heartbreaking lyrics in low-pitched voice. Never had he thought that there would be a day during his college years where he would hum to a Queen's song alone in the middle of the night.

A beep sound from the door suddenly pierced through the air. He leaned his back on the chair and stared at the entrance.

"Why are you still up?" was the first sentence that Jonghyun said when he saw Yonghwa. "Where are Minhyuk and Jungshin?"

"They are asleep," Yonghwa said, while signaling Jonghyun to come to the table, "Come sit with me. Let's drink."

Jonghyun put his guitar case at the sofa of the living room and pulled a chair across from Yonghwa, taking a seat. He cleared his throat as he saw Yonghwa opening a can of beer for Jonghyun and put it in front of him. Jonghyun thanked him and took a short sip before he bent his body backward, pressing his shoulders against the chair until his hair touched his upper back, and groaned in exhaustion.

"My back is so stiff," he muttered under his breath, though Yonghwa managed to hear him.

Yonghwa did not say anything. He just rested his head on his hand and watched Jonghyun stretching his shoulders and neck, as if he was releasing an invisible burden from his body. Yonghwa the half-empty can with his right hand, his mind mulling over the words he were going to say.

"You visited the hospital, didn't you?"

Jonghyun stopped moving his muscles and stared at Yonghwa, who seemingly intended the question as a statement.

He nodded.

"But you did not see her?" Yonghwa continued in a matter-of-fact tone.

Jonghyun narrowed his eyes. "How did you know?"

"Seohyun told me," Yonghwa said, his voice mixed with a sigh, "She said she met you in front of the emergency room, but you did not want to come inside. You asked her about Yoona's condition and only peeked through the door. You told her not to tell Yoona that you came."

Jonghyun head hung low, his eyes seemed shaky as he stared at the blue can in front of him. Seconds of silence passed as Yonghwa waited for Jonghyun to confirm what he had heard. Biting his lower lip, Jonghyun gave a light nod.

"Is she..." Jonghyun trailed off.

"She's fine now. She received infusion treatment and would stay at the hospital for a few hours more," Yonghwa said as he leaned his body forward, "The hospital said she passed out from exhaustion and dehydration. She just need a rest."

Jonghyun's eyes widened, somehow reflecting a different light. "That's a relief."

Yonghwa gave his junior a questioning look, but he did not budge. Jonghyun kept his lips shut tight as he took a long gulp of his beer.

Among all of his closest friends, Yonghwa could confirm that Jonghyun was perhaps the most misunderstood due to his seemingly cold attitude. He was not a fan of small talk with people he felt indifferent with and he usually showed no-nonsense approach when he had to deal with a lot of things. His nonchalant expression made him seem unapproachable, not to mention that he also rarely minced his words.

Thus came the infamous label for the 'cold-hearted' Lee Jonghyun: Ice Prince.

But here is where everyone misses the point, Yonghwa thought every time he heard someone called Jonghyun with the name.

Jonghyun is indeed a man of few words, but it explains the virtue that Yonghwa knows only Jonghyun—so far—can live up to: honesty.

He shows people what he really is, not what he expects people to see. He tells people what he really thinks, not what people expect to hear. So he talks when he needs to talk and acts when he needs to act. That is how Jonghyun is; he does not care about what people think of him, the importance is that he shows them his genuine feelings.

And, of course, there is a downside to this virtue of his: When Jonghyun himself decides that he does not want to show his real side, he will bottle it up inside. In other words, he will not speak a word of it.

But if there is one thing that Yonghwa has learned over the years he's been friends with Jonghyun, it is the fact that Jonghyun's eyes never tell lies.

"Seriously, what's wrong with you?"

Jonghyun only raised his eyebrows in response to Yonghwa's question.

"Your eyes," Yonghwa paused, locking his gaze with Jonghyun's, "They seem hurt."

Jonghyun seemed blank for a second before the corner of his lip lifted into a dreary smirk. He shook his head lightly and looked down, eyes staring at his own palms on his lap.

"Do you mind if I ask you a question?" Yonghwa asked, rather carefully. As Jonghyun gave a nod, he continued, "Why you did not want to see Yoona? Or—rather, why you did not want her to see you?"

Jonghyun thought over the question. "The latter. And honestly, I don't know."

Yonghwa nodded, his fingers tapping lightly on the table as he mulled over his words.

"You care about her," again, it was a point-blank statement, "Or should I say, you love her."

This time Yonghwa could tell through Jonghyun's eyes that his words had shaken something inside him. The sharp, mostly cold, brown eyes suddenly seemed softer and watery, to the point that Yonghwa feared that the eyeballs had turned into fragile crystals that could shatter with a slight touch.

Jonghyun crossed his legs and pressed the back of his left arm to the chair, leaning his body to the left. His right hand held the beer can on the table, his fingers moved timidly like he wanted to crush the can but he could not do that.

"To love or have loved, that is enough."

Yonghwa knitted his eyebrows. "What?"

"Les Misérables," Jonghyun simpered, "That's a quote from that book."

"Huh," Yonghwa scoffed, "The audacity to quote a book at this time."

Jonghyun chuckled before he raised his beer in the air, asking for a toast. Yonghwa clinked his can with Jonghyun's and drank all the remaining beer in one shot.

The two of them stopped exchanging words for sometime. Only the soft voice of Eric Clapton singing 'Tears in Heaven' filled the silence on what seemed to be a long night for the two men. Jonghyun hummed the tune of the song—one of his favorites, in fact—while staring at the window next to the door of the balcony.

"But, Jonghyun-ah," Yonghwa said, slowly, "Are you sure this is enough?"

As Jonghyun remained silent, Yonghwa continued, "I don't know exactly what's going on between you and Yoona. I'm sure Jungshin and Minhyuk also don't know about that.

"And that's OK. We can understand if you don't want to tell us. After all, this is your life and your decision. But you have to be honest with yourself. Be honest about what you feel, otherwise it will be the death of you, Lee Jonghyun.

"Otherwise, even you won't be able to help yourself."

Jonghyun pressed his lips and nodded. Yonghwa waited for him to say a word, but it seemed that he should be satisfied with the fact that Jonghyun did not push him away and chose to listen to his words, even if they were only met with Jonghyun's gaze that appeared to be saying 'thank you'.

"Does she know how you feel? Did you tell her?" Yonghwa asked again.

"I did," Jonghyun replied, "But all I got was silence."

 

 

 

---

Author's note:

Hello, everyone! After more than six years, I finally decided to update this story. As you may have read in my previous post, I asked all of you last year whether you still wanted me to continue with this story or not. Apparently, many of you still want to see this story to reach its deserving end. You don't know how delighted I am to hear so, because it means that my story at least makes you happy. So here I continue with the story, though I have to apologize that it takes me a year to finally write down this update.

I noticed that since years ago, every time I added a new chapter, all of you have been curious with what happened between Jonghyun and Yoona during the closing party of summer theatre event. So I promise that in the next chapter I would finally answer your curiosity about their past. Please stay tuned!

I want to say thank you to all of you who stick with this story, even though I haven't updated this story for years. Thanks so much for giving me a reason to write.

Lastly, I advise you to re-read the story from the start again to refresh your memory. I've also made minor edits to some sentences in the previous chapters.

Kindly drop some comments and share your thoughts. Please subscribe and upvote too, if you'd like.

Thanks again and hope everyone stay healthy and safe xx