After my little episode of clarity I decided to fly home. I hadn’t been in contact with my father since Alfie, Noah and I settled down in Seoul. I intended only to stay for a week or two, but that quickly changed to months. In that time I replayed moments with Jay over and over. Particularly the last time I saw him.

~~~

“Jay what exactly are you doing?” I ask partly out of curiosity, but mostly out of annoyance. “I’m trying to concentrate.” I tell him as I stretch, attempting to calm down. I’ve had a lot on my mind since the dinner party that I got tricked into.

Jay simply mimics me, standing in front of me twisting his torso and then holding his arms out. “Just hanging out, you haven’t answered my texts or anything.” He says looking at me with a concerned face. “I’m worried about you.”

I shrug my shoulders at him indifferently. “I’ve been busy,” I answer shortly as I roll my shoulders next. “No need to drop in to see me.” I tell him as I bend down and lay my hands on the ground flat. “After all I got along just fine before you.”

Jay seems to be put off by this statement, stopping all movements, as I look up I see I upset him by what I’d said. Jay’s usually happy and carefree expressions are gone, his eyebrows are knit together in an confused and sad kicked puppy kind of way, his lips are turned down in an obvious frown, his eyes though seem a little angry, sad and agonized. “What does that mean? I thought we were at least friends.”

“I have Noah and Alfie.” I state indifferently, Jay makes me anxious, he makes me question everything around me and I don’t like it, not at all. “I have them, I have my friends.” I state seriously.

“Then what was all the time we’ve spent together? What was you dancing in front of me, and telling me all the things you did?” Jay presses a betrayed look crossing his features briefly. I decide very quickly I don’t like the look, and more over I don’t like that I made that look happen. “Maude, we’ve been getting along, we’ve done each other good.”

“Yeah well congratulations on whatever I gave you,” I say in an even voice. “But I think we’ve ran the use out of us seeing each other right now.” I say firmly, I close my eyes a moment and bring my arms in closer to me. “Jay, I need space, I need you not to be so close.”

“Why?” Jay barks angrily. “You’d been some robotic emotionless human! Noah and Alfie saw you change, I saw you change, what’s so bad about that, where did us hanging out and spending time together end it’s ‘usefulness’?” He asks outraged by my words.

“It doesn’t matter,” I say fighting to keep control of myself. “You’re interrupting my time here.” I tell him coldly, irritated by his insistence. “What do you want me to say? That I have a change of heart and I’ll never be able to breathe or consider life without you?” I ask curtly when Jay remains planted in front of me.

“No, I want you to be honest and say it aloud; I want you to admit you feel what I do. You like me and it scares you, I want you to say you feel something for me, I see it when we’re together! I mean why the hell would you spend so much time with me otherwise!” Jay rants angrily. “I’m not going to leave you Maude, I’m scared too.”

“I don’t want anything to do with you Jay, not now.” I say giving up on the idea of practicing before I have to leave later this evening. Walking around him I pick my things up and head out, running quickly to avoid him from following me and hounding me down about the matter further.

~~~

In the months that passed I realized a lot of things, I haven’t been okay in a long time, I haven’t tried to move on from my mother’s death since it happened, and that Jay is special to me, in way Alfie and Noah aren’t. Jay made me feel more than I had in the years since my mother’s passing. Jay confuses me, but at the same time he brought me a sense of where I was and who I’d become better than anyone else in my life.

“You look stupid,” I tell him plainly as he shows off his piercing to me, well more like after he agreed to see me. “Why’d you want a nose piercing?” I ask him frowning slightly. Jay I’ve decided is indeed a very strange man.

Jay chuckles simply shrugging his shoulders. “I haven’t seen you in seven months and the first thing you do is insult my nose!” He says pouting unhappily. “Maude, I know you’re terrible with people and everything, but generally we say ‘Hello’ first.” Jay teases me.

I roll my eyes and fold my arms over my chest, I inspect Jay’s appearance, a few more tattoos, but other than that there isn’t any lasting change to him. “Your tattoos still look tacky.” I muse smirking as Jay hangs his head. “Hi, Jay, it’s nice to see you again.” I tell him chuckling slightly.

“Hello Maude, lovely as always.” Jay says while perking right back up. “You’ve cut your hair. I like it.” He says cheerfully. “So how was your stay in America? Alfie and Noah told me you left.” I know I should have told Jay, but it seemed easier not to say anything.

I shrug my shoulders as I keep my arms folded. “Not bad, I spent a lot of time with my dad, dancing, and kept writing, nothing unusual.” I tell him a bit tired. “How were Alfie and Noah?” I ask curiously, slightly amused by Jay’s now exasperated look. “I take it not well behaved.”

“Yes and no,” Jay says while rubbing his face, I stare at the piercing again, “They’d be dancing doing what they do, but then they’d look at me and just say ‘It’s your entire fault.’” He says sighing heavily. “They guilt tripped me multiple times, Maude, they are little demons.” He says while shaking his head, but smiling nonetheless. “Great dancers, just devious guys.”

I nod my head agreeing with this. “I want to go on a date with you.” I say while tilting my head and watching Jay carefully, enjoying his now surprised reaction. “Lexi is right, you’re cute when surprised.” I say happily. “Shocked though I suppose is a better word.” I say letting him adjust.

Jay continues to gape at me for a few moments before coming to his senses. “How, did, are you alright?” He asks while leaning forward over the table. “Maude, I mean you tell me that you don’t want anything to do with me and now you want to go on a date?”

“I didn’t want anything to do with you while I was getting better, well coming to terms with my mother’s death,” I say indifferently, while it pains me still I know I can’t just pretend I didn’t have a mother or that she didn’t die on her way to see me perform. I had a mother and she did die because she was on her way to see me, Alfie and Noah. “I want to see exactly how strong my feelings are, though if you don’t feel that way anymore, I’ll move on.” I state clearly. I’d anticipated the possibility of Jay moving on.

“No, no I want to go on a date; I’m just slightly confused on how you jump from Alfie and Noah to asking me on a date.” Jay says while smiling at me, I like this look on his face much more than the ones I’d caused that last time we talked.

“Simple really,” I say casually watching him amusedly as he fidgets slightly. “Alfie and Noah I like, I like you as well. Nothing really confusing.” I say again mostly to see how he’ll react. “You know, I haven’t really changed that much.”

“No, you have. You’re more teasing than before!” Jay says; he looks a bit more exasperated than when he talked about Alfie and Noah. “I want to go on a date with you.” He says chuckling slightly. “God, Maude you know how to throw a person for a loop.”

I smile happily to this. “Well I’ve always been good at that,” I say while shrugging my shoulders. “When would a good time be?” I ask curiously while lowering my arms and leaning forward as well. “I know you’re a super star, CEO, and public personality, so you must be terribly busy.”

Jay rolls his eyes; smiling at me he simply shakes his head. “I’m all free this Saturday.”

I nod my head happily to this. “It’s good to see you again.” I say softly, coming back to Korea, meeting Jay and just talking to him has been out of my comfort zone.

“It’s good to see you too,” Jay says in a low voice, smiling at me contently. “Why didn’t you tell me you were leaving?” He asks quietly, hurt crossing his features briefly.

“Because I needed to leave and not worry about anything here,” I answer simply. “If I’d told you I’m not sure I’d have been able to focus on what I needed to do.” Jay nods his head, though he looks confused still. I reach across the table and rest my hand on his arm. “I needed to come to terms with what happened. Jay, I would have been too eager to come back if I’d told you.”

“I understand,” Jay says smiling slightly. “I waited.” He says simply, placing his hand over my own. The words catch me off guard, I blink trying to form some sort of answer. “I see you’re stunned.”

“Should I not be?” I ask him letting out a shaky breath. “After all despite everything and how I last treated you, Jay I’m sorry.” I say genuinely.

“I know,” Jay says simply. “I already understood. I was too pushy.” He says letting out a long sigh. “Though, Nichkhun was the one who told me that.” He jokes, chuckling at it.

For a little neither of us says anything, I just watch him, feeling more and more sure that it was the right thing to come back and see Jay, to stay here. “I haven’t actually been back to my apartment.” I say randomly. Jay raises a brow at me questioningly. “Lexi picked me up and we talked for a while, she then dropped me off, demanding that I see you before I even head back.”

“And your things?” Jay asks curiously, not at all seeming surprised by what I’d said.

I let out a sigh. “My apartment, Lexi said she’d drop my things off.”

“Let’s get you home so you can rest then, you must be a bit tired.” Jay says standing. As I get up Jay takes my hand and leads me out of the little café I called him to meet me at. “It was hard to judge how you felt when you’re so apathetic, but I caught on.” Jay says proudly.

“How do you mean?” I ask him curiously, not at all understanding what he means. I tell people exactly how I feel and what I mean, at least I always thought I had.

Jay chuckles. “You hardly show any emotion, it’s the little things, a slight smile is big, like right now, you have an actual smile on your face. I must be doing something right.” He gloats happily. I chuckle shaking my head slightly. “One of these days I’m going to make you bust out laughing.” He teases.

“I’ll wait for that day,” I tell him back smirking.

Jay chuckles about something he’d said, something about my crass nature. Before I can ask he leans over and kisses my temple. “Thank you for coming back Maude.” He mutters happily before opening the door to his car and letting me in. “I missed you.”

Oh my goodness, I am sorry for how long it took me to write this!
I'd pretty much ran out of ideas for this and how to continue it.
This is one of those leads you off so you can imagine what happens after kind of endings.
I hope you guys have enjoyed this and Jay's happy ending. ^^