Chapter one
❝and now i'm here...❞
taeyeon - closer (play song)

It was a cold and windy early Saturday morning. It was too early in the morning in fact, somewhere around 4am. The sky was gloomy, like your mood, and the sun was barely rising. You could see the trees swaying from side to side and the leaves blowing everywhere because of the wind. Usually you'd love weather like this, but right now you weren't exactly in the best mood ever.

You sighed as you leaned your elbow against the bottom of the window seal and rested your head on the palm of your hand. You couldn't believe your mom would send you here. You wanted to go back, but you were doing this for her.

'It's for the best.' is was she had told you when you refused to go here. Right now, you were seeing everything but the best.

*It's okay Soeun. You've only been in Korea for an hour at the most. Just give it time.* You thought to yourself. *Fighting!* You mentally gave yourself some words of wisdom and raised your fists in the air.

After 5 seconds of having some hope in yourself, you immidiately felt gloomy again. "Umma, why'd you make me do this?" You mumbled to yourself.

Flashback

"Umma?" You softly called out to your mother who was just blankly staring at her untouched food. You looked down at your plate and saw you were already done with your meal.

You sighed. Your mom has been like this for weeks already, and you were deeply worried about her. Ever since your dad died, you mom has been a complete mess. She would barely speak a word, and would just reply to you with a small nod or shake of her head. She wouldn't eat unless you forced her too, and you always heard her cry herself to sleep.

Like always, you didn't get a response from her, and she just kept her head down.

It broke your heart seeing her like that, but you were getting tired of it. You stopped being depressed about it, so why couldn't she? It's been so many weeks already...

"Mom. Don't just sit there. Talk to me..." You told her. "Mom?"

Your mom lifted her head up and looked at you. She opened to say something and you lifted your shoulders having hope. Right has she brought your hopes up, she threw it on the floor and stepped on it when she immidiately shut and kept quiet again.

You couldn't take it anymore. "That's it!", you slammed your spoon and fork on the table and looked at her. "Umma! Please talk to me!" You begged with teary eyes.

Your mom looked quiet shocked with your sudden outburst. You're usually very sweet and calm, but this time, you couldn't take it. It's been long and horrible weeks for you and your mom didn't help by just sitting, moarning around. She didn't realize that you needed her.

"Mom! Why can't you talk to me?! At least a 'Hi' or something would be lovely! You haven't spoke to me for weeks mom!" You told her. "You have a daughter, you know? Dad wasn't the only one in your life! You have me too!" You cried.

Your mom looked like she wanted to say something, but wouldn't let her.

You hiccupped as more tears started going down your cheeks. "You can't be all depressed like this when you have a daughter to take care of! Don't you think about how I feel? You don't think that i'm sad about having dad dead? Of course I am! But you know what? I decided to live on and be happy because that's the kind of thing dad would want me to do."

Your mom looked at you with guilty eyes. You were right. No matter how much she felt empty without him around, and no matter how much it hurt, she had a daughter to take care of. She had to be strong for her daughter.

"That's the kind of thing he would want me to do. He wouldn't want me to lay around staring into space all my life and cry my eyes out every night. He would want me to live my life to the fullest and have fun. He would want me to be happy and to live on smiling. And so I am." You said and then lifted your head up to look at your depressed mom. "So why can't you?"

"I-I'm sorry  Soeun-ah.." Your mom spoke. "I'm sorry. Y-You're right."

You looked at her, feeling a mixture of happiness because she spoke to you, and feeling shocked because she spoke to you. You forgot you were mad for a second and ran to your mom and threw your arms around her, giving her a big warm hug. "Y-you talked. You s-spoke to me."

Your mom laughed a little, which made you smile. "Of course I talked to you. You're my daughter, arn't you?"

"Umma.." You mumbled in happiness and hugged tighter.

Your mom pulled away and looked at you with teary eyes. "Soeun-ah, i'm so sorry. You are right. I should be strong for you."

"Oh mom, don't cry. And it's okay. I should be the one apologizing to you for not understanding your feelings and being selfish and making you talk when you weren't ready." You apologized, feeling bad. "I'm sorry for forcing you."

"Oh honey, you weren't being selfish. You helped me and you made me realize things that I wouldn't had." She smiled warmly at you.

You were happy to see your mother like this again, but unfortunately your happiness didn't last when your mom broke some news to you.

"But....Soeun-ah, I have something to tell you." Your mother told you. "I've been wanted to tell you, but I didn't have the heart to."

You looked at her worriedly. "What is it, umma?"

You heard your mother sigh before telling you, "I'm going to have to send you to Korea."

You froze. Did you hear right or was your head messing with you? After a while of realizing that she actually said that and she was serious about it, you exploded. "WHAT?!"

"Honey! Calm down and let me explain!" Your mom told you, trying to calm you down.

You weren't exactly calm, but you were willing to listen. "I'm listening."

Your mom sighed before starting. "You know that your dad was paying for everything in this house and was earning a lot of money. But when he died, all that money disappeared. It's like he disappeared with it. His company refuses to give us money since he died, and I've tried everything I could possibley do so they could give us at least some money, but they wouldn't agree with me. And so, that means we can't afford to live in this house anymore."

You were shocked. "W-what?

"I'm going to work as a maid for this lovely family and they're nice enough to let me live with them. That's why i'm sending you to Korea."

"W-what?" You repeated. "Can't we just buy a smaller house?"

Your mom sadly shook her head. "I'm sorry Soeun, i thought of that too, but my job doesn't pay enough for that. And you know how hard it is to find a job nowadays."

"B-but mom, we just came back from Korea and now you want be to go back over there?" You asked her. About a month ago you and your mom flew to Korea for your dad's funeral. Your mom said that your dad's request when he dies was to be buried where he was born, so you two buried him at a cematary in Seoul.

Your mom nodded.

You shook your head. "No. Nope. I'm not going."

"Soeun, please-"

"No mom, i can't live alone! By myself! I'm only 17!" You said. 17 was actually a fine ago for you to live on your own, but you yourself, wasn't ready for this. Not now. Not ever. Your dad just left you, and you really didn't want to be seperated from your mom too.

You heard your mom sighed again. "I knew this was going to happen, so I already got a place for you to live."

You looked at her curiously, but waited for her to continue.

"You're going to be living with my best friend's son."

"WHAT?!" There was no way you were going to be living with a boy.

"Don't worry Soeun-ah. He's only a year older than you, and he's extremely handsome. You're going to like him." She winked at you, trying to lighten up the mood, but you just stared at her with a poker face.

"No. Nu-uh." You shook your head. "I'm not going." You crossed your arms and firmly said.

"Please Soeun-ah! It's for the best!" She begged. "Please, do it for me."

You looked at your mom who was pleading for you to go.

"B-but what about you?" You asked, worried. "What about school?"

She smiled. "I'll be fine, don't worry about me. You'll be better off living in Korea, honey. I don't want you to suffer. And you'll be going to school there."

You sighed and rubbled your temples as you took a moment to think about it. Maybe living in Korea won't be so bad. "Okay fine, i'll go. For you."

End of flashback

So now you were here, in a bus at Seoul, going to some boy's house you don't even know. It kinda made you nervous and scared how you were going to live with a person you haven't met before. Even worse, a boy you've never met before.

What if he was a jerk? What if he was a ert? What if he was some gangster that sold drugs in alleys? Or what if he was some weird guy who collected different kinds of yarn and played with puppets as a hobby?

But.... What if he was those cute and charming flower boys? You didn't know what you would do.

Suddenly the bus stopped, snapping you out of your thoughts. It was now your stop and you were getting closer to meeting your mom's best friend's son.

*Oh joy...* You thought.

You weren't exactly fine around boys. You were a shy person especially around boys. You've never encountered any situations with any guy before in your life, and all of your friends back in America were girls. The only man in your life was your dad, and that's it.

You grabbed your backpack and slung it around your shoulder and grabbed your purse as well as your suitcase. You only had 3 bags with you since you didn't have enough time to pack all of your stuff with you.

You got off the bus and started to search for the address your mom had given you before you went on the plane.

Unfortunately you weren't the best with directions, and not being familiar with the streets of Seoul made it much more harder for you.

After half an hour of walking in random places and searching for the house, you stopped by one  big house and stared at it in awe.  You looked down at the written address and it was matched with the house you were staring at. *This is it...*

You walked up to the door dragging your luggage with you. You stared at the doorbell for what seemed like the longest time before actually pressing it hesitantly with your finger.

You patiently and nervously waited for someone to open the door. You heard a bunch of shouts and something that sounded like someone falling on the floor, and then finally someone opened the door.