“So it’s come to this, huh?” Sungmin glared at the brunet across the table.

“It would seem so…” Donghae glared back and tapped his fingers on the table.

A few short moments of intense staring and glaring passed and then Sungmin made the first move. He swerved to the right in an attempt to catch the other, but Donghae quickly evaded the attack. He countered by switching their positions and faking a direct hit but instead moving swiftly in the opposite direction of Sungmin. The black haired male fell for the trick and ran right into Donghae’s arms, his hands leaving the table before them as he fell down, the brunet ultimately having stepped out of the way at the last minute to ensure Sungmin’s downfall.

“Hahaha!” Donghae burst out in laughter and held his stomach as he continued to mock his fallen roommate.

“Yah! Lee Donghae! How dare you let your elder fall to the ground like that?!” Sungmin was up off the ground and shouting in the blink of an eye.

He tackled Donghae, but the brunet was able to make a quick getaway, ending with the bunny man back on the floor and wincing in pain. The brunet laughed some more and then turned back to the table. He started to move out of the room, before Sungmin and his surprisingly tough skin got back up again and tried to stop him.

“Donghae!!! Stop right now or else I swear to god I’m gonna whip yo !” Sungmin was yelling from the top of his lungs in the other room, but the brunet had already come too far for him to back off now, even if he actually did listened to those threats.

“I’m sorry hyung, but this table really needs to go!” Donghae yelled as he pushed the long wooden table with all of his might. He was nearly at the end of the hardwood floors and the long stretch of carpet was nearing where he would have to carry the table until he reached the doors. It would be a mighty feat to do it all before Sungmin caught up with him, but he was willing to take that risk.

“No way Jose! Me and that table have so many memories, and there’s nothing even wrong with it.” The black haired male was in the hallway now, but he was limping, giving Donghae an advantage. It wasn’t that heavy of a table, and somewhat easy to carry too, so he was almost at the doors when he made the fatal mistake of looking back to make a retort.

“What, did you and Siwon have some memorable on this or-” he was cut of sharply when Sungmin finally made contact with his body. The sudden force sent Donghae flying straight into the wooden table, Sungmin following suit as they both crash landed.

There was a splintering crack and the two boys lay on the ground mixed in with all of the broken pieces of wood. Donghae groaned and tried to prop himself up even though there was a leg and a plank from the table underneath him and a heavy bunny look alike on top of him. He really had nowhere to go even if he could get up.

“Yah, Lee Donghae, would you look at what you’ve done now…” Sungmin was practically foaming at the mouth, and if it weren’t for his innate motherly nature towards the younger, he would have ripped him apart. Metaphorically speaking of course.

“I’m really sorry, Minnie, but hey, you were the one who tackled me into it in the first place.” Donghae shrugged, but it sent shots of pain throughout his body and he winced from the immeasurable agony he was feeling.

Not just because of the weird positioning of his body or the dozens of splinters he probably had, but because it reminded him of that first time he was betrayed. He was suddenly familiarised with the stinging sensation that he felt when the one person he trusted the most him and struck him down. It was a similar situation because after that beating he had been aching all over, and it wasn’t really the pain from being physically hurt, it was the pain that someone he loved could do that to him.

“Hae, are you alright? Here, I’ll help you up.” Sungmin was standing above him with an outstretched hand and a worried look.

“Yeah, but what about you? I’m sorry about all that before, letting you fall like that.” Donghae stood up and averted his eyes.

“S’all good, we were both getting a bit rambunctious.” Sungmin was smiling and he was truly concerned for his housemate. He hadn’t seen that kind of a look on the brunet’s face since last year. He didn’t want to imagine that Donghae was going through a tough time so early on in the year.  

“Right...” The two of them walked towards the bathroom where the first aid kit was and patched themselves up. There wasn’t too much damage, it was just a pain to pull out all of those splinters. It was quiet and a little awkward, so Sungmin thought to strike up a conversation.

“I can’t believe you destroyed my table.” He muttered, purposefully plucking a splinter when the other wasn’t ready.

“Yah!” Donghae winced and glared at Sungmin. “I had no choice, it was getting old and mouldy anyway.”

“Still, you completely ruined it.”

“Well would you have rather gotten sick from bad wood, or lose a table?”

“You should have been more sensitive about my table! That’s all I’m saying.” Sungmin huffed and looked away, but with his one eye he glanced at Donghae to see that he wasn’t showing that pained face anymore, he was back to being focused on the table and their silly argument. Sungmin thought that if this was all it took to get his housemate’s spirits back, he wouldn’t mind losing a table or two.

The school bell rang and the brunet cursed as he ran past the school gates. For some unforeseeable reason, he had slept in and his black haired roommate hadn’t had the decency to wake him up today like he usually does. He was blaming everything on the older boy while he raced through the barely populated halls, when he noticed the group of three or four people standing in the middle of the hall ahead of him. He skidded to a stop and hid behind the nearest corner, even though he wasn’t positive who the people were, he was sure that he had seen the familiar platinum blond hair.

The brunet peaked his head around the corner and looked more closely at the group. It was three boys and one girl standing in a circle next to some lockers. He recognized one of them to be the boy with the reddish hair whom he had seen with Hyukjae before, and the blond he knew to be the latter. As for the other two, he had no idea, although the girl looked slightly familiar…

“The ?!” The blond suddenly raised his voice, and Donghae’s ears automatically tuned in to the conversation, even though he knew that he should be finding an alternate way to his class. After all, Heechul would kill him if he were late to his class.

“Calm down Eunhyuk, you’ll get people’s attention.” Kyuhyun said, raising a finger to his lips.

“Well no Sherlock, but this is worthy of some loud voices.” Hyukjae turned away from Kyuhyun and stared straight at the girl. “Is what you just said true?”

“Y-yes, it is. He really did-” the girl was cut off when Hyukjae angrily punched a locker beside him. It left a dent too.

“. , , , ! That little bastard is at it again, huh?” He mumbled some more curse words and other things under his breath, but the brunet was too far away to hear any of it. He hoped that the blond wasn’t talking about him, but seeing how angrily he reacted, it was most likely that Donghae was the topic of the talk.

“You can go now, sweetie.” Kyuhyun winked at the shy girl and she quickly scurried off down the hall. She was headed in Donghae’s direction, but he was too distracted by what had just happened to register any of it.

The girl bumped into Donghae with her full force, knocking both of them to the ground. Donghae was quickly returned to the present and immediately stood up. He reached out a hand to help the girl, but when she saw him, she let out a sharp yelp.

“Hey, I’m sorry I wasn’t paying attention, but if you’re too loud they’ll hear us…” The brunet quickly bent down in front of her and tried to calm her down. It seemed to work because her breathing went back to normal and she didn’t look as shocked.

“I was just so…surprised to see you, Donghae.” She smiled a little, and then stood up with him.

“Oh, do you know me?” He asked, although one part of him was still paying attention to what was happening down the hall, even though he couldn’t hear any of it.

“Haha, of course you wouldn’t remember me. I’m Seohyun, we were in the drama club last year.” She laughed a little, and Donghae suddenly remembered. Indeed, they were in the same club, but she had always been quiet and they barely spoke outside of the club.

“Oh that’s right! Seohyun, um, nice seeing you again…” The brunet scratched the back of his neck and shyly looked to the floor, he was embarrassed that he hadn’t remembered her name when she had his.

“Yeah, uh, I should be going now though.” She started to walk away but Donghae grabbed onto her arm partway.

“Sorry, but could I ask you something?” He asked.

“I really need to go though, class is starting.” Seohyun pointed out.

“Right, but, what were you talking about with…them?”

“Oh, that’s – um I’m really sorry! He said I’d regret it if I talked to you, so I should really-!” Seohyun shook his hand off and ran down the hall.

Donghae was left standing there in the now deserted hallways. Even the three guys from before were no longer there. He was alone and confused and torn up inside. He was left to wonder about what just happened. If that girl Seohyun had been told not to talk to him, then were other people told the same? Is that why the beginning of this year had been so quiet, because no one dared speak to him? And what were they talking about before? What got Hyukjae so stirred up that he would do something like punch a locker? All of these thoughts were going around in Donghae’s head, and there was even the sliver of fret tucked away in him that worried for the blond, and it made him desperately want to see if his hand was okay after doing that. It was bad of him, but he couldn’t help it.

He would never wish for that man to be hurt, even after everything that happened. Because despite all that was done to him and all that is still being done to him, Donghae’s feelings have never changed. He has never felt spiteful or upset as a result of his torment, only sadness and confusion because he has never understood why. He has only accepted with a cowardly heart that he somehow deserved what was happening to him, but deep down he didn’t know why. Because it happened so suddenly, and because he wasn’t prepared for it all to come to a crashing end.

That’s why even now, he still feels something deep down. That’s why even now he still yearns to remember that loving and warm touch by those long and cool fingers. He still wants to hear his name called over and over by the voice that resonates within him, because even after everything, he still yearns for the other, and he had a feeling that that would never change no matter what happened.

Whenever he returned home and could visit his sanctuary, he would confirm these emotions swirling within him. It was in his confinement room where his inner self revealed itself and he could be free with how he felt, without fear that it would lash back at him. It was a place where he could not only secure his tightly wrapped jar but where he could sometimes loosen it just ever so slightly. Of course, he didn’t want it to open and spill everything out. He knew that he shouldn’t continue feeling this way, that it was all over, yet he didn’t want to let go and forget everything. So he would keep his jar deep inside of him with all of his layers instead of emptying it completely. He didn't want it all to become just another faded memory. Not just yet.