It’s early in the morning. 8 am to be exact. I watch him as he still sleeps. Fool, he never wakes up on time. This is the only time I see him smile these days, when he’s dreaming. His now dyed brown hair is shining in the sunlight, with his famous idiotic smile plastered on his face. Things between us have become strained. It’s been about a month now since our relationship took a turn. Chanyeol would always cuddle up to me at night after one of our passionate love making sessions. Now he only sleeps the opposite way with his back turned to me. And speaking of love making, that doesn’t happen anymore. He won’t even look at my body or touch me with his strong hands. Oh how I miss it.

I attempt to greet him when he gets home, but he just ignores me. He’ll look my direction and just keep walking to the bedroom. Chanyeol spends so much time in this bedroom now. He use to only come in here for sleeping purposes. Now it’s his own personal haven. I am often left to watch TV and hang out by myself.

I’ll sit at the end of the bed and watch him as he just stares at the wall. I know his mind is always in another place, and it’s all because of what I have done. As soon as I open my mouth to speak, he’ll get up and go stand out on the balcony. After a while, I follow him out and stand behind him. As soon as I wrap my arms around him, he begins shouting. “How could you do this to me? I thought you loved me.”, he yelled to me. I began to cry and plead with him. I apologize to him over and over again, but I only see him form fists with his hands.  I drop to my knees and sob uncontrollably. I never wanted to hurt him. I love him more than anything.

So this is the new us. We are now full of silence, anger and pain. Communication is pretty much non-existent in our relationship. As I look down and see my only true love, I can’t help but to feel distant from him. I only wish that we were a regular couple with regular issues. When he gets home he doesn’t really ignore me, because he can’t see me. He stares at the wall because he constantly thinks about me leaving him. When he yells from the balcony about me hurting him, he doesn’t know I’m there. He’s only letting his emotions go by yelling it all out. He only hangs out in this bedroom because he always tries to meet me in dreamland. 

Oh look. He’s starting to giggle and tell me how much he loves me while he sleeps. You see, his dreams are now our only form of communication. I am nothing now but a memory for him to hold on to. When Chanyeol dreams, it’s as if I never left. I’m always here with him, but during slumber is the only time he can see me. Oh my love, I’m so sorry for leaving you. My death was unexpected for both of us, so I didn’t try to leave you alone. Just know that I will always be with you. I do hope one day that you will forgive me.

Ah, he’s finally opening his eyes and stretching his long arms. He turns to his nightstand and stares at the picture of him and I. “Time for me to get up now. See you later tonight babe. I love you so much”, he says before he kisses the picture. A tear falls down my face as I watch him get up and get ready. I love you too, Chanyeol.

Be sure to comment and let me know how i did guys. Thanks for reading  :)