[A/N: This story is purely fictional. Any events in real life that might have happened in this story are PURELY COINCIDENTAL. Thank you ^^]

“Kris… what will you feel if I tell you that we might never see each other again?”

In all the years that Kris and Tao had been friends – which was since kindergarten – the former has never been so anxious over just one question.

Sure, Tao has asked more than a thousand others, including the ones he repeated over and over again, but this is the first time Tao is asking something that he couldn’t actually answer.

This bothers Tao. In fact, it bothers him so much – so much that even Tao himself is getting very anxious because he is receiving no response from his dear friend.

“Yah, Kris… please answer me…” Tao says one morning as he walks Kris to university, and the latter becomes more uneasy.

Tao looks down and walks unhurriedly, but his steps become slower and slower until he comes to a stop. Kris turns in his tracks and looks at Tao.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” he asks, and Tao looks up. The younger shrugs and forces an almost genuine smile; nevertheless Kris notices the hidden sadness in it.

Kris sighs and places a hand on Tao’s shoulder, making the younger gasp and jump a bit in surprise. “Look, if this is about your question last time, I apologize; I don’t really know what to say…” he says this and walks ahead of the younger.

Tao watches him in disbelief and scoffs.

“Actually… the word ‘sad’ would have sufficed for an answer…”

He forces yet another smile and whispers to himself, “But then, I guess he would not actually feel anything…”

This is Huang Zitao, or simply Tao. He gave up his studies before he could even reach high school, due to his own financial problems – he does not remember his parents, and he only gets money from Kris’s parents, who are trying hard to support him as well.

During that time, the Chinese government was looking for new recruits because of an ongoing war between China and USA. Since Tao didn’t have any other choice – what job could he get with such low achievements? – he decided to serve in the army. Since then, he has been serving the army for more than three years – and the war is only coming to a stop now, but who knows what the Americans have in store for the awaiting Chinese soldiers.

Anyway, other than being a soldier, Tao is the best friend of Wu Yifan, or Kris.

Friends? Best friends?

Everyone knows that Tao wants to be more than that. I can be his lover, but only if he feels the same way.

Yes, Tao likes Kris. In fact, Tao loves Kris.

Unfortunately for him – at least it’s what he thinks – the feeling is not mutual. Kris only sees him as a friend, as his best friend. Although it hurts the man, just being by Kris’s side is enough for him.

Truth be told, Kris does have feelings for Tao.

This cannot be. I am a man, and Tao is a man as well. This is forbidden, but I know I have these feelings. But this is really weird! Kris, there are millions of women out there, and certainly, Tao is not one of them. Just… look for a woman, okay?

He thinks homosexuals are weird, but then, he is one himself.

Kris sighs as he starts losing his focus and diverting his attention from the professor in front. The course gets boring every day, and his notebook only gets filled with more drawings and scribbles of Tao’s name instead of the important notes he’s going to need later in his life.

“Why did he ask this though?” he asks himself, writing the exact question on his notebook. “Why Tao, why?”

Today’s lesson is history of music. Then out of the blue, the professor brings up the wars that ended in China’s victory.

Suddenly, a thought pops into Kris’s head.

There is an ongoing war between China and the United States. And it so happens that Tao is in the army.

He looks up, eyes wide. Good for him, the professor doesn’t notice his lack of attention and continues with the discussion.

He looks down on his notebook again and takes his pen, and then he starts doodling on the page.

“If there is a war, then the army fights. If Tao is in the army, then Tao fights. Tao might die in the war,” he whispers to himself, eyes widening at every word.

“And if Tao dies… we won’t see each other again… and I’ll be depressed.”

With this realization comes Kris’s realization and acceptance of his real feelings for Tao

Tao looks ahead of him. The entrance of the military headquarters is open as he walks in and goes to his assigned base.

He sighs as he drops his bag on the side of his bed and plops himself on the bed. Some other soldiers in the same squadron as he is are also present, getting ready for the war. Tao looks at all of them.

How come no one seems anxious with leaving the people they love?

As if they heard Tao’s thought, one person shouts out loud, “Okay team! We’ll surely win over those Americans! If we all survive, I’ll treat everyone to dinner!” After that, a lot of screams and cheers follow as they all exit the room, getting ready for their troop leader’s orders. Tao, however, remains on his bed, staring at the ceiling and thinking of Kris.

After some time, he becomes determined that he will survive the war.

“After all this, I’ll go back to Kris, and we’ll see each other again.”

“Letter to Huang Zitao! Is Huang Zitao here?” the troop leader shouts, holding a small rectangular white envelope. Said man snaps in his thoughts.

He steps forward in his position and answers. The leader holds out the envelope, and Tao runs to get the letter.

“You read that later. Now go back to your place for the announcements.”

More than ten minutes have passed, the troop leader has left. Everyone is back to their happy selves, enjoying the times they are together.

Tao is just on his bed, lying on his back while clutching the letter in his hand. He looks at the address on the corner of the envelope.

To Huang Zitao, from Wu Kris

He smiles a bit and opens the envelope.

Hey. What’s up little kid?

I guess you’re already on your bed in your camp, huh…?

Good luck in the war, I’ll pray for you!

-Kris :)

PS: the answer to your question… I’ll be depressed.

Tao couldn’t help the smile that spreads wider at every word in the letter.

“He says he’ll be depressed. I won’t leave him, ever,” he tells himself and brings the letter to his lips, kissing it lightly then placing it under his pillow.

It is already night, and Kris is about to go to bed when he passes by the door to Tao’s room in their house. He smiles as he starts reminiscing the day when they first met each other.

Kris woke up. It was still very early in the morning, and the five-year old lad had nothing to do on a Sunday, so he decided to go downstairs to eat cereals and play with his dog named Bob.

While he was playing with the dog, the lad’s mother went down from her room, surprised as she saw Kris first thing in the morning.

“What are you doing there Kris?” she asked and prepared a glass of milk for the little kid.

“Playing with Bob…”

“Oh, I see-”

The mother stopped talking when she heard a loud cry from outside.

“Mama don’t go!” the voice said. Kris immediately got up and looked out the window. The mother followed suit and opened the curtain wide.

It was raining hard that day, and Kris and his mother were both shocked to see the view outside.

There was a little boy, about three or so years younger than Kris. He was standing on the side walk, hands clutching the shirt of a woman. They both looked homeless, and the poor kid must have been left in the streets to die in starvation.

The woman outside scoffed and pried the kid’s hands off her shirt, and then she left, leaving the little kid under the rain without any umbrella or such.

Kris’s mother felt sympathy for the little kid, so she went out and invited the kid inside.

Kris stared at the kid who was now inside their house, wet and dripping with rain water. He dared not go close to the stranger, but his mother told him to be friends with the kid.

“U-Uh… I’m Wu Yifan… Call me Kris,” he said and hesitantly extended his hand.

The kid wiped his tears with rain-drenched clothes and held Kris’s hand. “I’m Huang Zitao, or Tao.”

Kris sighs and closes his eyes, a tear escaping and falling down his cheek. “What if Tao leaves me forever?” he asks himself out loud and frowns.

He is about to fall asleep when suddenly mother calls out loud, making Kris groan and stand up. He steps outside of his room and shouts.

“What is it?!”

“You have a letter!!”

Kris immediately lights up and rushes down the stairs to get the letter from his mother’s hand. The mother smiles and gives it to him, and Kris runs up his room again to read the letter.

From Huang Zitao, to Wu Kris

Hey Kris…

I received your letter, and I just wanted to write back to you ^^

I’m fine here, it’s pretty normal…

Just that you’re not here XD

Wahh I feel good, having heard from you again

And you wrote that you’ll be depressed?

Wah! Don’t worry! I’ll make sure to come back to you after the war has ended!

XOXO

-Tao

Kris smiles widely, tears of joy falling from his eyes and landing on the piece of parchment. He walks to his window and looks at the side walk outside; in his mind forming a picture of Kris hugging Tao after the latter has gone back from the war, which has ended in China’s victory.

“I’ll be waiting for that day Tao… I’ll be waiting for you.”

July 10, 19XX – eight days later

Classes are suspended for the whole month.

The American force is taking a move again, and China is sending all the military forces to action to defend the country.

Kris looks outside; he sees the dark sky, and rain pours all over the place. He sighs and prays for Tao’s safety, and his safety alone. He doesn’t even care anymore if the enemies kill him, as long as Tao lives.

It is midday, and Kris and his mother are eating lunch when suddenly there is a loud knock on the door.

Kris stands up and walks to the door, then he opens it.

He comes face to face with a Chinese soldier.

“Please evacuate this area immediately,” the soldier says. Kris’s eyes become twice as wide.

“Is this area in danger?” the mother asks, and the soldier nods to the question. “Oh no, let’s go Kris, pack your things.”

Kris doesn’t say anything.

“Kris?” his mother calls again, but said man remains still.

He slowly shakes his head and stands in the far corner of the room. “I’m waiting here. Tao promised me he will come back. I received his letter last night!”

He holds out a white envelope.

“I replied to him. I told him that I’ll be waiting in this house!!” he shouts, tears threatening to fall.

The soldier shook his head. “All citizens and soldiers have been given orders to go to the evacuation center. This Tao should be waiting for you there.”

Just hearing Tao’s name is enough to convince the teenager, so he nods and they all move to the evacuation area.

Tao is currently in the headquarters, joining the meeting of the generals as one of the representatives. While in the meeting, he is reading Kris’s letter to him, which he received this morning from a delivery man who was later shot by an American soldier.

To Huang Zitao, from Wu Kris

Don’t worry, I’m in my house.

I’ll be waiting for your return, my hero.

-Kris

PS: Wo ai ni, Huang Zitao.

 If you return from the war, don’t forget: you’ll be returning as my lover.

[A/N: Wo ai ni – Mandarin sentence literally translating to “I love you”]

The last part makes Tao cry, but he immediately wipes the tears as he diverts his attention to the general in front, discussing the new plan. But then he has this recurring urge to write back to Kris.

From his pocket, he takes out a small piece of parchment and his pen, and he starts scribbling on the parchment.

By the time he is finished, the plan is already fully discussed – good thing Tao actually understands it, despite his attention focused on the piece of paper he was writing on – and this plan is immediately put to action.

The army rushes outside the headquarters and without delay, guns and cannons and mortars are being fired straight to them. Tao rushes away from the place but right away gets blocked by numerous enemy soldiers.

Tao groans and takes out his gun, running to the right as he shoots the enemies one by one.

One enemy however, sees this and points his gun, aiming for Tao’s head as he pulled the trigger.

Out of the blue, Kris feels a painful stab on his chest as he aimlessly wanders around the evacuation site. “Something feels wrong…” he tells himself, and the thought of Tao dying comes to mind, but he quickly gets it out of his head.

He continues wandering around, and he slowly becomes more and more paranoid at every step.

He clutches the letter in his hand firmly, silently praying that Tao is okay. It has been a day since he received Tao’s last letter, and he wonders when the next one will come.

Days have passed, and Kris just keeps on looking at the entrance of the area, waiting for Tao, but there is still no sign of the said person. This goes on until God knows when.

Days become weeks, weeks become months… still, there is no sign of the man.

Kris sighs and loses all his hope; it has been three months since they last saw each other, and not a single letter was received for all the time he waited.

One day a soldier arrives at the evacuation area, and he announces that the war has ended in China’s victory. Everyone sighs in relief and thanks their gods. Kris goes to the soldier and asks where the others are.

“The surviving soldiers are in the headquarters, and so are the bodies of our fallen comrades,” the soldier says as he takes off his hat and casts his eyes down.

Kris heaves a deep breath and starts running outside, heading for the military headquarters in hopes of seeing Tao amidst the survivors. However, there is a voice in him that tells him something bad must have happened to Tao, and that the man is dead.

He ignores this and barges in the headquarters. His nose is immediately invaded by the appalling odor of dead bodies. He ignores this and starts walking inside. No one looks at him as they keep minding their businesses.

Kris looks around, his gaze lost in the sea of soldiers, dead and alive.

Suddenly one soldier he doesn’t know comes up to him. “Are you Wu Kris?”

Kris becomes perplexed as the soldier mentions his name. He nods slowly and asks, “What’s the matter?”

The soldier takes a deep breath and tells him something that shocks him.

“Your friend, Huang Zitao is in the corner of the room, waiting for you,” he says sadly. Kris smiles a bit, happy to know that Tao is actually waiting for him.

He nods as they both walk to the corner of the room where only dead bodies are placed. Kris wonders why the soldier led him here, and his paranoia grows as he starts scanning the rows of corpses of soldiers.

Suddenly he stops in his tracks when he comes across a certain person. He looks closer at the uniform and gets a glimpse of the corpse’s name plate.

Huang Zitao

Kris’s world crashes down as he stares at the other’s face. Tao’s eyes are still open wide, mouth agape as the corpse stared into space.

Kris tries hard to resist his tears as he reaches to close the man’s eyes. He leans down and places a chaste kiss on Tao’s lips.

Soon several other soldiers come to Tao to lift him up and bring him to the back of the headquarters. As soon as Tao is lifted, a small white piece of paper smeared with blood slips out of the dead soldier’s pocket.

Kris bends down to pick the paper up, and tears well up in his eyes as he reads the words in the corner of the paper:

To Wu Kris, from Huang Zitao

Kris can’t find the heart to read it. He cries silently as he tucks the letter in his breast pocket. The soldier who called him a while ago steps up and pats Kris’s shoulder.

“I really am sorry for your loss,” he says. “This was Tao’s last request… ‘Hey, if I die, and if you find my body dead in the middle of the soldiers, can you bring me to the headquarters…? Wu Kris… He… Kris will surely come for me… I know…’ So I did.”

Kris nods slowly as he walks out of the place, leaving Tao’s body to be taken care of the soldiers. His slow walks gradually get faster as he runs back to his house, which he left about three months ago.

He stands in the sidewalk and raises his head high in the air. I’m still waiting for you Tao. I know that the one in the headquarters is not you. I don’t believe that.

Time runs slowly this time, and Kris stands in the same place without moving for more than three hours. Still, the Tao he is waiting for doesn’t come.

Kris slowly drops to the cement ground, his hand hurriedly pulling out the letter from his pocket.

New waves of fresh tears fall from his eyes as he starts reading.

Hi Kris! :)

I read your last letter… I’m so happy!

Do you really love me? Wow! All these years, I thought it was one-sided. But I was wrong. Kris, I love you too. Really… :)

Ever since I met you, I have deeply fallen in love with you… and to know that you love me too, I feel that my life is complete now and I can die happily. But don’t worry Kris, I’ll come back to you! Wait for me okay? Don’t even think of going to someone else! I’ll kill you if you do~ X)

Wait for your hero~

-Wu Zitao

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