She tucked her phone in her pocket as she made way to her front door.

 

She opened it carefully and saw the man that she loves. At any other circumstance she may have welcomed him with a wide grin as he hugs her into an embrace.

 

But things change.

 

Noticing the empty bags under his eyes, she can only offer a sad small smile as he walked straight in muttering a tiny hello under his breath.

 

And people change.

 

They went to the kitchen as he grabbed a glass of water and chugged it down.

 

"What was it that was so urgent you made me come here? I only have a few minutes to spare. 30 tops… But other than that… I hope you understand."

 

She smiled and nodded at his last statement.

 

"As always." She let out and sat in front of him and stared at his face.

 

God knows for how long but it was then interrupted when he grunted.

 

He was his university block-mate. And after a few months of getting along they started dating. Kai was a trainee back then and in the middle of their perfect everything he debuted. He lived his dreams. They didn’t fall apart. Yet. They stayed strong, kept in touch, they did not give up; but then somewhere in their fairytale- he got lost in transition and the little red string that tied them together sort of disappeared.

 

She was lost. She was scared.

 

But she tried to understand. No matter what, she pushed selfishness away and understood.

 

"——, please, my time."

 

She blinked back to reality.

 

"It’s been a year, ye?" She started off and smiled.

 

His silence queued her to continue.

 

"Uhh. It’s been a year since… Yeah, whatever… You just seem to have no time for me anymore."

 

Well that sounds clingy.

 

"For us…. I mean. You just seem to be… very… busy. "

 

"Well I am…" he muttered

 

"But why can the others send me a message once in a while? Some even call… Sehun dropped by once and we talked… Chanyeol oppa sent me signed stuffs with a message from them… I.. I understand that you have more spotlight on you and stuff but I just-"

 

"I thought you’d understand no matter what…"

 

"I… I… I do…. But… I-"

 

“I understand."

 

Walking from the university she passed through the music store they frequently meet at. Glancing inside she found a rather familiar posture.

 

It was him.

 

Smiling widely she stepped inside to meet him but then after a step she retreated.

 

Why didn’t he tell her he was coming?

 

Maybe he wanted to surprise her

 

Deciding not to burst his bubble she quietly continued to walk home.

 

upon arriving, she threw her bag in the closet and ran around the house cleaning it for her expected guest. After it was tidy enough, she then proceeded to cook a bit of food. Then she took a bath and prepped up.

 

She then sat at the kitchen table with her phone in her hands and her heart up in the skies.

 

She waited. and waited. and waited and waited. But  nothing.

 

The next day she found herself slumped upon the dining table with an aching back.

 

She looked around and saw no one.

 

Maybe he had an emergency schedule.

 

With a shrug she yawned and stood up and put away the supposed to be dinner.

 

 

"This understands." she then pointed at her temple- her voice starting to falter and her emotions getting the best out of her.

 

Queuing up in line, her palms started to sweat as her heart thumped loudly in excitement.

 

"You’re up, miss."

 

Proceeding to the guys they gave her knowing looks and extra warm smiles. She politely bowed back as Baekhyun hooted.

 

They all chuckled lowly as she made way to him, he looked up and shock filled his deep eyes. But without another second, he gained back composure and smiled like a star.

 

"Name?" he asked softly.
"——-" she replied, now the one taken aback by his actions
“Thank you for supporting!" He said in a well-rehearsed tone before handing her back her album.

 

Without another word, she was pushed out of the line.

 

He’s a star. What do you expect? He’d trade his career for you?

 

 

“But this hurts…" she then moved her hand over her left chest.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Noooonaaa!!" Sehun texted her that. She smiled as she put the library books away to their respected places.

"Sehunnie!" She replied quickly.

 

"Kekeke. We were given a week break by the company!!! I am finally freee!!!" Giggling slighty, only to earn the librarian’s glare, she bowed and started walking out.

 

"That’s good then. Use it to catch up on your health, ne?" She typed back

 

"Yes yes I will!!! And with that I must start sleeping!! Take care noona!!"

 

Smiling genuinely she typed back, “Ne, you too aegi-yah."

 

After then, she texted Kai, “1 week break huh? Wanna catch up sometime?"

 

a second turned to minutes- then a few more- and finally a reply.

 

"I’m on my way to my hometown, I’d stay there for the whole break… You understand, right?"

 

Her heart dropping from the heavens to the deepest pits of hell- she can only smile out bitterly.

 

"Yeah. sure. I understand. Next time then."

 

 

“My brain understands. but my heart burns."

 

 

This was probably the last straw.

She walked up the stairs of SM Entertainment with tons of containers in her hands.

 

The guys texted her that they were enjoying a long break in the practice rooms and tthey long for home-cooked food. With the blunt poke she then complied on cooking for them.

 

Sure.that it waa the same room Kai took.her before for a date, she knocked and waited for a few.moments befire the door opened revealing an overly hyper active Chanyeol.

 

"Finally!!!! ———sshi!!! It’s been months since we saw youuuu!!!!" He beaned as he pulled her in.

 

"Fooooodd!!" he then again yelled as the guys started to gather around. Well except for your boyfriend.

 

He continued practicing his dance.

 

Settling down and opening the food containers for them their eyes shone in delight.

 

"Dig in." You said

 

Looking back at Kai- his brows were furrowed as he struggled in a move he was doing.

 

Battling whether to call him or just not interrupt, you-

 

"Yah Jongin won’t you even greet your girlfriend here?" Suho called out with a voice and a tone I never heard before

 

"Later hyung." He muttered.

 

I tried my best to smile at the boys who were dumbfounded

 

He needs to practice I understand.

 

"D-Don’t blame m-me if there’s no-none left for y-you." I stuttered in attempt to pull back the atmosphere.

 

"And don’t blame us either. ——‘s cooking is rreeaaaally good." Chanyeol said with his mouth full.

 

She looked back at him and remembered the old boyfriend she used to have.

 

He used to call her whenever he can. He used to welcome her in his embrace whenever he sees her privately. He used to love her cooking too.

 

But the thought that really mattered was this:

 

He used to love me.

 

"Don’t worry. He’s just showing off." Baek whispered loudly for everyone to hear while making a face and wolfing in another spoonful.

 

"Shut up hyung." He said and even before it can sink in, we heard the door slam behind him.

 

Tears then escaped her eyes as she choked back a sob.

 

Standing up, she walked out and followed him to where he ran off to.

 

He was just outside, wiping his sweat away while catching his breath his hands fisted in a firm ball.

 

“Jong- Kai-ssii.” She said, sticking to his stage name for she knows that it wasn’t Jongin who was in front of her.

 

Jongin loved her.

 

She then approached him moving closer.

 

He looked at her with tired and frustrated eyes.

 

“I can’t get my moves right!” He said clearly upset and disappointed.

 

 

A strong loving girl can have her limits too.

 

 

“Eyy, you can do it. Giveyourself a break first, hmm? Eat lunch. I madeyour favorites.. Comeon, before the guys eat it all.” I placed my hands on topof hisshouldersushering him to come in.

 

“No thanks. I still need to talk to our choreographer.” Shrugging out of my touch, he walked away without even looking back.

 

 

 

 

A strong loving girl hurts too.

 

 

 

"I understand you but I love you.”

 

 

 

 

A strong loving girl can let go too.

 

 

 

 

"I-I understand that you love what you do and I understand that you value your career. But at the same time I understand that you have to give up some things in time and I at the same time understand that we have to drift away and I completely understand that it’s time to let go."

 

"2 years. We had 2 happy years. I guess that’s enough for me to hold onto? Yes?"

 

"Now I understand that you have another schedule waiting and I understand that you have to leave. I’ll let you be, then… Jongin-ssi.."

 

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