Dear diary,

i'm hurt.

really hurt.

no words can describe how hurt am i.

do you want to know the reason why i am hurt?

i found out my best friend, Eunji, like Chanyeol too from Baekhyun. Wait, i know i should not be upset about this but knowing that your best friend like the same guy as you hurts and what is much more worse is that Chanyeol is close to Eunji unlike me who can only watch him from afar.

I must have been a coward all this while. Living in my own shadow, not brave enough to step out for what i really want. I just don't wish to hurt myself any further but..... having this one sided love.... it sure does hurt more.

But, i felt betrayed. Eunji knows that i like him but why must she do this to me? And to make it worse, she lied saying she had no such feelings for Chanyeol! i choose to believe her as she is my best friend and i don't wish to betray her but i did not expect her to do this to me. She knows i really like Chanyeol and she knows i found out about Chanyeol first when the 3 of us are in the same class this year.

I know i shouldnt be selfish. Chanyeol is not mine in the first place. And i should not come in between Eunji's and Chanyeol's friendship. It is just that i wish she can be honest to me and tell me the truth instead of doing this to me. I am trying my absolute best to forget my feelings towards Chanyeol because i want to save our friendship, Eunji-yah. 

The last thing i would like to do is not to hurt anyone in the process of not trying to hurt myself....

lots of love,

Bomi

2/10/13