Her name is Han Byul, Lee Han Byul. I've met her during our first year in college. At first, I didn’t pay much attention to her until the two of us were stuck together —we have the same schedule for most of our class.   She was a lot of things. She was sweet. She was mean. She was afraid, yet so brave. She was wild, but so serene. Her quietude covered her craziness. She has this unique and eccentric behavior: she’s not really that feminine. She’s outgoing, witty and noisy. She was neither pretty nor distasteful, just the right amount of beauty to make you fall immensely and completely in love with her.   She was a world of mixes, a universe of contradictories, but she did it so perfectly, with so much elegance. She was the beautiful sky filled with dull gray clouds. She was many things in a world so cruel.   From the moment I opened that door, I knew she was going to get under my skin. Then the more I got to know her. The more I watched and talked to her, the more I wanted to get closer to her.   After couple of semesters together, we’ve turn into best friends and love counselors. Believe it or not, at this age of ours, we’re still trying our best to solve simple dilemmas like infatuation. Han Byul is pretty, I couldn’t deny it. Lots of male students are trying their best to impress her.   Unfortunately, Han Byul shows that she’s not interested in any relationship beyond friendship. Good thing, they respect her decision, afterwards, everything would go back to normal—they’re friends again. I am fine with that. She was fine with it.   As season changes, something went wrong, or should I say changed too?   I find myself falling in love with her. Something, I didn’t want to happen. But they say, love comes when you least expected.   And it happened.   So be it.   *   Her name is Han Byul, Lee Han Byul. I've met her during our first year in college. And now, we’re already on our third year, we’ve known each other for three years but it felt like I have known her forever. I can hardly remember not knowing her. It’s hard to remember the days before Han Byul and I don’t even know if there were any.   Both of us were marketing major at one of the top university in Seoul. As each day pass, I find myself more and more attracted to her. I was completely enamored.   And most of the time, she occupies my mind.   But the sad part is, she’s showing less effort. I could not blame her. It was a case of unrequited love. I could not force her to love or like me back when I am too weak to tell her how I really feel.   In the end, I am ought to feel this alone.   *   I’ve always wanted to study outside the country. I’ve always dreamt of it ever since I was young.   I’ve always wanted to see the world outside my comfort zone. Thus, when the opportunity comes, they say strike whilst the iron is hot.   I did not waste any time. I prepare my papers, for when the time comes, I’m ready.   *   Staring at the wipe out document page in front of me, I heaved a sigh and smile. I started typing my application form and I am pleased to say that I have lots of thoughts to write. It kept on giving me ideas, ideas that I shouldn’t take for granted.   I heard the door squeaked. I glance and saw that it was Han Byul. I smiled at her and immediately divert back my attention to the screen. I must finish this before the month ends.   “Yo.” I heard her voice more clearly and louder this time. She was standing beside me resting her left hand at the back of my chair. Hastily and alarmed, I minimized my MS word. “What are you doing?” She asked.   “Uhm… Ugh…” I stutter. I suddenly feel uneased. I don’t know what to say. Then, I heard the heels of her shoes tapping on my wooden floor. She sat on my bed and lie down stretching her hands upward. “I’m reviewing our thesi—” I stopped when I heard her anguish comment.   “Oh man, not thesis.”   It made me laughed. She rolled on the other side, lying on her stomach. I went beside her and mimicked her position. However my knees were touching the floor.   “Don’t worry, Han Byul. I got your back.” I grinned at her, making sure she was in good hands. She giggled and placed her right leg at the top of my back.   “Thanks” she responded with her angelic voice. Then we both laugh. I ascend a little, wanting to see her face clearly. “After this thesis, we still have one more and then were out of school. Yay!”   “Are you excited?”   “Partly. You?”   “Not at all. School is fun.” I paused. I wanted to breathe out exasperatedly, piercingly, if possible. This tension in my chest is rising up. “Han Byul…” I called her name softly. She bit her lower lip and looked at me.   “Han Byul… what do you think of me?” The question came out of nowhere, but I was determined to ask her and to know the answer.   “Se Hun… I think of you as someone…  special…” she pause and advert her gaze for quite some time, then stare back at me, shrugging her shoulders before she replies. “You know like a brother.”   I felt a pierce of pain stab me through her answer. It hurts so much that it became a physical pain. But then, I felt relived. I finally know what she thinks of me. I don’t have to raise my hopes.   I can move on. I can be happy now. This is a good thing.   “Oh.  Yeah.  That’s cool. Like brothers and sisters.”   I held my breath and smile, pretending that everything is okay. Even though it wasn’t.   She pressed her lips together and smile. Han Byul, looks good at any direction. But I must say smiling is her asset. Looking at her sometimes hurts. Her fingertips started to trace my forehead, down to my nose, into my lips and lastly into my chin.   Then we stare at each other for the longest time and I thought, I could look into her eyes and get lost forever. Slowly, she inclines forward, I closed my eyes, and our lips meet for the first time. My heart was throbbing so fast that I wanted to clutch it to make it calm.   I could feel her hands tugging the back of my hair, and unconsciously I held her face, pulling her closer—never wanting this moment to stop, and never wanting to let her go.   Then she broke it. I could feel her breath against my lips.   “I’m sorry.” She whispers. It was my cue to open my eyes and wake up from this dream. I was not sure, which one hurts the most: being rejected by the girl you love or knowing that this kiss meant nothing but a mistake for her.   But at this point of my life, I've been hurt a few times already but when she said she was sorry, it hurts, times a million.   She stood up rapidly and stretched again. I watch her back, even from this view, Han Byul is perfect.   “Se Hun… Can I use your laptop for a while?”   “Yeah. Sure. Sure. Go ahead.” I sat down and smiled at her. That’s when I decided to pretend it was normal—that I am not affected of it and prepare for some snacks, in case she might get hungry.   *   Han Byul has this unique and eccentric behavior, she doesn’t like to read the messages stored on her inbox. I’ve noticed it like for the fifth time already.