Tell me again why I have to wear these?

I couldn’t hide the irritation on my face.  Our stylist was spreading  on his working table all the clothes I have to wear for the entire week.

Because YG said so.  The stylist answered without looking at me.

I pouted some more when I heard the magic words.

YG SAID SO.

Of course!  YG knows best.  In fact all of these were his ideas.  From clothes to hairstyle.  Even the smallest accessories I wore in front of the camera.  Meaning all the time of my life I have to follow what YG told me to wear.  Because I’m always in front of the camera 24 hours a day.  Seven days a week.  365 and half days a year…

I throw the jeans back to the stack of clothes on the table and stomped my way to the couch.  I slumped back on the leather couch with arms across my chest, brows  knitted together.  My chest was about to explode.  The stylist just ignore my tantrum.  He’s already used to it.

I found myself staring at the pair of LV sneakers I was wearing.  My eyes turned to tiny slits.  Steam rising from my nose.  I forcefully removed the shoes from my feet .  I didn’t bother untying the laces.  I just pushed it out from my feet.  I didn’t care if it’s an expensive shoes.  I just wanted to free myself from those things.

Having your period?  Stylist J teased.  I gave him my deadliest stare.  He just laughed.

When will I stop wearing those things?  I asked in desperation.

Until you finish your contract with YGE.  He bluntly replied.

UGH!  Another year of torture.

Look at the bright side, Dara.  You earned the Best Female Stylish Award in Asia.  Aren’t you proud of that?

Me?  Proud?  Of course not!  I wanted to shout at him.  Who would be proud to be called as G-Dragon’s copycat?  NOT ME!

Bull!  I hissed under my breath.

Are you swearing at me?  Stylist J heard me cussed.

I’m sorry.  I’m just really upset.  You know how much I want to make my own style.  But YG keeps insisting I imitate Jiyong.  For God’s sake!  We’re poles apart.

That’s why you match each other perfectly.  He chuckles.

I hate you.

I love you, too, Dara.

I end up wearing the clothes and accessories prepared for me.  When I look at the mirror, I see a different person.  Not the real me.  All I could see is G-Dragon.  A female version of him. 

I was about to rant when people started entering the dressing room.  Out of courtesy, I bowed to each and everyone of them.  Then I heard the most irritating voice in the entire universe.

My clothes really suits you well.  Jiyong’s voice vibrated throughout the entire room.  I bit my inner lip to stop myself from cursing.

Anyeong haseyo!  I greeted him with the most courteous bow I can give.

Do I really look that skinny?  He turned to stylist J.

Ani.  I made some alterations to fit Dara.

Don’t tell me I can’t wear them anymore.  Those are one of my favorite clothes.  Jiyong was eyeing his clothes  I’m wearing  with worry.

Ani.  I will return it to normal once Dara finish with it.

Jiyong looked not convinced.

Just don’t ruin my clothes.  You can’t afford to pay for it.  He was smiling when he said that.

The nerve.  I mentally killed him using a dagger.

Don’t worry, Sunbae.  Ill take care of it with all my heart.

We need to go now, Dara.  Stylist J was finished packing everthing in his luggage.

We’ll go ahead first.  Anyeong!”  I bid everybody goodbye.  I was just a few step from the door when Jiyong spoke.

Don’t ruin my clothes, Dara.  He said in his poker face.

Right there and then I wanted to rip off the clothes I was wearing, but I have to control myself.  It wouldn’t do me any good if I show any resistance.  Instead, I smiled reassuringly at Jiyong and bowed once again before disappearing in the room.

What a jerk! 

I wanted to shout, but I held back my bursting emotions.  I clenched my fists tightly.

Don’t mind him, Dara.  He just likes teasing you.  Stylist J tried consoling me.

I don’t like it one bit.  I wanted to punch him everytime I see that .

Watch your mouth, Dara.  The walls have ears.  Stylist J reminded.

I’m sorry, Stylist J.

The photoshoot took longer than expected.  We were just wrapping up the shoot when Jiyong suddenly appeared in the studio.  I was relieved when he brought some food with him.  I was somehow grateful with his unexpected action.  He just said hello to me.  I was also thankful for that.  He checked the photos with Stylist J and the photographer on the computer.  I secretly stole glances at them while I eat in one corner.  My heart raced when Jiyong’s face turned sour.  He was pointing on the monitor.  Stylist J was trying to tell him something, but he kept shaking his head.  Not a good sign.

After a while, Stylist J waved at me to join them.

We need to take some more photos.  Stylist J told me.  My jaw dropped to the floor.

I thought we’re done already? 

Jiyong made some suggestions.  I think we should try it.  The photographer who was very friendly during the whole shoot looked tense.  He kept avoiding Jiyong’s gaze.

Some clothes doesn’t match the theme.  Jiyong butted in.

This.  This. And this.  He pointed one by one at the photos on the screen.  He scrolled down at the other photos pointing here and there.  Photos where I wore skirts.  Stylist J and I looked at each other.  He just shrugged his shoulders.

I have some spare clothes in my car.  I think you can use some of them.  Jiyong  told Stylist J.  The stylist immediately went out to get the clothes.

The photographer proceeded to prepare his equipments.  One of the makeup artist started fixing my face.  When Stylist J returned with a bundle of different clothing in his arms, Jiyong started mixing and matching his clothes with the one I previously wore in the photoshoot.

Jiyong stayed until the end.  He made sure I wore the clothes he specifically chose.  After seeing the new photos, I must admit it came out superb.

Jiyong immediately left after seeing the new photos.

It was almost morning when I returned to our dormitory.  CL was already sleeping soundly on her bed just above mine.  I tiptoed carefully around the room afraid I might wake her up.  I quietly opened my closet to change into my pajamas.

I sighed when the array of cute and girly dresses appeared before me.  I fondly bought each one of them.  I wanted to wear those dresses when I go out with friends and family.  I always like silky and lacy fabrics.  I always wanted to wear skirts.

But, I ended up wearing baggy clothes.  Oversized shirts.  Leather jackets.  Jeans.  I was always fully clothed everytime I appear on public.  If I don’t wear makeup, people would think I’m a lesbo.

Thanks to G-Dragon and President YG. 

Time passed quickly.  2NE1 emerged on the top of Kpop industry.  We already surpassed the popularity of other groups.  I, on the other hand received several product endorsements.  Thanks to my baby-faced beauty.  Even I’m always dressed like a thug, beauty products executives still find me attractive.

I just came from my meeting with Etude’s executives.  I was instructed to bring a copy of the product portfolio to the President.  I was about to knock when Jiyong came out rushing.  His face red.  He slammed the door very hard. 

I bowed to him in greeting but he ignored my presence.  It was the first time I saw him that angry.  I suddenly felt nervous.  The president must be in a bad mood just like Jiyong.

I knocked gently on the door.  I waited a few seconds before I heard a voice telling me to enter.  I immediately bowed to the president. 

Did you bring the endorsement contract?  YG asked.  I couldn’t comprehend his feelings at the moment.

Yes, sajangnim.  I handed him the folder containing the documents.  He tapped the folder lightly on his desk.  I was starting to get scared.

Did you see Jiyong on his way out?  He suddenly asked.

Er- Yes, Sajangnim.  What about sunbae-nim?

YG chuckled while shaking his head.  I was hoping it has nothing to do with me.

I already got used with Jiyong’s meddling with my fashion style.  I have learned to accept the advantage and inconveniences of having to wear what Jiyong told me to wear.  Sometimes,  he would let me do my own style, but I need to ask for his approval beforehand.

They already discussed the theme of this CF, didn’t they?  YG said.

Yes, sajangnim.  I can’t wait to start shooting the CF.

I couldn’t hide my excitement.  I always wanted to have beauty product endorsements just like what I did in the Philippines.  I was very lucky to be chosen as Etude’s exclusive ambassador.

We have a little problem, Dara.  YG stated. 

I felt a sudden thud inside my chest.  My smile vanished.

You have an image you’re trying to maintain, right.  The theme of this CF doesn’t match with your image.

Isn’t that good, sajangnim?  I can show everyone my soft personality.  I think that’s the reason why Etude chose me. 

I know, Dara.  Actually, I’m fine with it.  But Jiyong doesn’t think the same.

Jiyong?  I muttered almost inaudibly.

I couldn’t say another word.  YG just watched me as I contemplated with his statement.

Jiyong.  What the hell he has to do with the CF?

You should convince Jiyong.  YG finally spoke.  He said it as if my life depended on it.

But, you have to wait until his anger subsides.  Think of something that would convince him.  Good luck.

YG dismissed me.  I came out from his office light-headed.  Many questions were floating inside my head.  I didn’t know I was walking without direction until I bumped into Bom.

Hey, are you okay?  Bom asked.  She could easily sense when I’m troubled.

Oh, Bommie-ah.  I didn’t see you there.  I’m sorry.  I apologized.

Did something happen?  You look dazed. 

I need your help.  I aked Bom without hesitation.  I told her about the Etude CF and Jiyong’s disapproval of it.  I can’t afford losing this chance.  I have to do everything in my power to go on with the contract.

A knowing smile slowly formed on Bom’s lips after I told her what YG said about Jiyong.

What’s funny?  I asked indignantly.  I didn’t find anything funny with Jiyong’s illogical mind set.

You’re so naïve, Dara-ssi.  Bom said.  She patted my head like a small child.

She got me more confused.

Can you help me?  I asked.  I was starting to get irritated with her relax attitude. 

I can’t help you with this one, Dara-ssi.  Bom refused.

He’s in the recording studio with Teddy.  Just be a good girl and do whatever he tells you.  Arasso?

Bom pinched my cheek before walking away. 

She was always like that whenever I complained about Jiyong’s meddling with my career.  Yes.  At first, it was just my fashion style.  Then, I just woke up one day with sajangnim consulting all my activities with Jiyong. 

Jiyong and Teddy were on the process of mixing a new song when I entered the studio.  Teddy smiled upon seeing me.  He motioned me to come closer to him.  I glanced at Jiyong who was ignoring my presence even I greeted him.

Dara-ya.  What brings you here?

Er-  I would like to speak with Jiyong sunbae-nim.

Teddy tapped Jiyong’s shoulder.  I was staring at his back.  When he turned around, I made a step backward.  I could feel the fire emanating from his body.  He crossed his arms on his chest leaning back on the mixing panel.

What do you want?  Jiyong asked uncaringly.

I wanted to run away.  He’s definitely the dragon they were talking about.  I haven’t seen this side of him.  He was always cold and passive when he’s taking care of my activities, but now he’s emitting fire.

Sajangnim told me to talk to you about the Etude CF.  He said you have some issues with the theme.  I said nervously.  I want to cover my face with my hands in case he blows up.

I don’t want you to make that CF. 

Jiyong’s statement roared inside my head.  I had to rewind it mentally several times before it sank in my small brain.

Why?  I heard my voice broke.  Teddy was just watching us from his seat.

It doesn’t suit you.

WHAT?! 

Jiyong straightened before I realized what I have done.  Nobody raises voice at the great G-Dragon. Not even sajangnim.

But, I couldn’t back off now.  I already started the fight.

I could see the veins on Jiyong’s temple about to explode.  His jaw  tightened.

I want to do this one badly.  Besides, I already signed the contract.  I have to do this.

You want it that bad?  Go ahead.  Do whatever you like.  I’m done with you.

He removed the headphone on his neck and threw it carelessly.  He walked out of the studio slamming the door behind him.  Teddy’s eyes were huge. He couldn’t believe what just happened.

I slowly reached for the couch.  I felt my knees crambled.  Hot tears came rushing like waterfall. 

I haven’t seen Jiyong for weeks.

At first, it was like a breath of fresh air.  I can do anything I wanted.  I can wear anything I wanted.  I finished shooting Etude CF without any glitch.  It turned out really well.  I was able to collaborate with another popular boy group.  I was having so much fun.  I was free.

I was already late for an interview, but I couldn’t find a matching scarf for my outfit.  I was rummaging my closet like a maniac when suddenly a file of unused clothes fell on my feet.

I felt a sudden thud in my chest upon seeing the familiar clothes.  Those were Jiyong’s.  He chose those clothes for me.

I pickep up the clothes on the floor and laid them on my bed.  I suddenly felt guilty and ashamed of myself when I realized I was being selfish and stubborn.

I changed my clothes in a flash.  Stylist J will be shocked when he see my outfit.  I should be wearing a pretty dress, but instead I’m doning read leather jeans and jacket.  I just kept my curly hair to keep my feminine look.

Jiyong and the others were chilling in Teddy’s studio when Seungri rushed in.

Switch on the TV!  Dara noona is on TV.  He excitedly announced.

What’s new with that Seungri?  They are always on TV.  We are always on TV. TOP smacked the maknae’s head.  Seungri just rubbed his head while switching on the TV himself.

Look!  Isn’t she the most beautiful girl in the world?  Even if she’s wearing boyish clothes.  She’s really a natural beauty.

All of them gathered in front of the TV except for Jiyong.  He swore not watch any of Dara’s TV guestings eversince they had that argument.

Hey, Jiyong.  Were you that skinny before?  Isn’t that the leather jeans you used before?

Jiyong couldn’t help glancing at the TV screen.  His mouth dried after seeing Dara on TV.  She was wearing his clothes again without being told.  Seungri was right.  Dara looked stunning with his clothes on.  That’s why he wanted her to wear his type of clothes.  He insisted YG to make her image as badass as  possible.  Because she’s too beautiful wearing pretty dresses.  And he hates it everytime she wore feminine clothes.  He doesn’t want people to notice her beauty.  But, it was the most difficult job to do.  Keeping Dara for himself.  If he could, he wanted Dara away from the public.

The host was asking about Dara’s dating life.  Jiyong wanted to strangle him.  Of course, Dara would say she’s not allowed to date.  But there were many guys lurking around her.  Trying to make a move on her.  That’s why he asked YG to prohibit her from dating.  If he couldn’t date Dara, no one could either.  He put his life on the line just to convince YG. 

But luck wasn’t on his side all the time.  When Dara insisted doing the Etude CF with another boy group, Jiyong exploded.  He wasn’t proud of his behavior that time.  But he was helpless.  He couldn’t tell Dara why he was angry.  He just walked out on her.

Dara was oblivious of Jiyong’s possessiveness of her.  She thought it was just for her image as 2NE1’s member.  But almost everybody inside YGE knew of Jiyong’s predicament.  He staked his career on Dara without her knowing anything about it.