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I knew you could never get over him. I knew it from the second you mentioned his name and told me to keep it a secret; that we were best friends and that’s what we do. We tell secrets. No one would believe that the new solo artist Niel was actually gay for some boy he met by chance at a small restaurant.

No one except for me. I soaked in everything you had to tell me, from the second you met to you two kissing in the vacant place close to your work. I only listened and believed you so that you would be happy and smile again. We call each other best friends, but for how long have we actually known each other? A month? Maybe two tops but that didn't stop me from trying my hardest to make you the happiest you could be.

Know why? Because I fell for you after the first week of getting to know you. I can see why Niel liked you; I can see why he went out of his way to warn you so that you wouldn't have to deal with the press or the rampaging fangirls at your doorstep.

But now you two can't be together, it's impossible and completely illogical. And yet you speak about him often in hopes of him coming back to you. He's an idol, an idol in a world where being different was shunned. If he were to ever actually confess his feelings for you and be with you it would ruin him. He would have no future in the world of fame because they would never take him back.

He knew that and yet he still made you fall helplessly in love with him.

And why can't you notice me? I helped bring you back to life; I brought laughter back into your world and allowed you to lean on me in every situation. When you showed up at my place of work I immediately tried to help you because you looked like you needed it. And I wanted to be the one to give it to you.

Will we always just be best friends? Nothing more? Nothing less?

Because I don't want that. I don't think I can stand another day looking at you as you look at another person you love. It is time for you to move on.

This hip pop idol has nothing on this amazing person that stands as your best friend—Lee Chanhee. Why can't you see that?

"Do you think he'll ever notice me again?" You would ask me while you stare at the TV screen at the release of a new album by him.

I would lie and shrug my shoulders, "Maybe someday."

I thought that maybe, just maybe if I continued to lie it would keep you smiling. It would keep you from running away from me and back into the world of darkness that I rescued you from. Love isn't supposed to make you feel this way; it is supposed to make you the happiest at every given moment—not sad because you can't even be with that person.

I wanted you to be the one in love with me, not him. Sure we don't really know each other as much as I would like and I do have to say that he has known you longer, but that's beside the point! I love you now and I will continue to love you without anything getting in my way! I don't plan to be some pop star that will end up leaving you, you need to move on.

Of course that's the confession I want to tell you but there will be no way I'll ever tell it to you.

Because I know. I know you'll never move on. I know you'll always love him and he'll always secretly love you. He still talks about you on interviews as a first love and someone he'll never get over. He still smiles warmly when it's even mentioned on a variety show.

I thought I could hold you in my arms and call you mine. I thought I could win you over and make you wish that Niel never existed. But even if I could do that I wouldn't. I wouldn't change you for the world and if you just so happen to be in love with someone else then I guess it just for me. Maybe you'll move on and see me standing there with my arms open for you to run into. Maybe you'll see the one person who won't ever leave your side.

I wanted to spend every moment with you, every single moment of our lives—I imagined it. Us slowly getting into a relationship, then you blushing cutely as you ask to live with me in my apartment. I'd accept and we'll move all of your things over to where I live and I'll invite you into my room and proclaim it ours. We would snuggle together on the bed and whisper sweet nothings into each other's ears as we slowly fall asleep. And on clear nights we can go to my balcony and look at the stars; that is if we had stars in Seoul.

You would then confess how much you really love me and I would accept you for everything you are; all of your flaws and all of your perfections. Lee Byunghun and Lee Chanhee together forever is what I'd say in that moment and draw it out into the sky for everyone to see.

That is the kind of life I wanted of us, the kind of only pure happiness and no darkness besides when the lights are out and we're close to each other to keep the other safe. Niel could never provide that. He could never share with you the things I can—and he never will.

But it's okay because I'll always be waiting for you. I have faith in what we have and what we could be. Faith that is so blind that no one will ever stop me from believing in you.

I'm not asking for you to leave him completely, I'm not telling you to drop your first love and never think of him again.

I'm just asking you to move on.

And be happy.