Pictures by tintap because she is amazing and epic and if you have the time you really need to check her out!

                                                               And I was totally inspired to write this whole oneshot based off of these pictures alone.

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I remember a day when the sun would be smiling down at me as I walked to work. I remember a day that life was so filled with happiness that I was able to smile at others and bring happiness into their lives as well. The birds were chirping, the flowers were blooming and every day arguably was the best day of my life.

However, things aren't like that anymore. I walk out blinded by the sun's rays and hissing at them in hopes of clouds and rain. I barely felt like going to work so much that I ended up quitting and staying inside most of the time. My money's growing lower each day as I wilt away like a dead flower.

And you're all to blame for you.

You were the one to smile at me. You were the one to lift up your arm ever so gently and wave at me. I was the stupid one to believe your lies and I was the one to fall right into your arms.

Maybe that's why I find it so hard to walk in the general area of my old work; it was because that was where I first met you.

"If the waiters here are this attractive I wish I came here ages ago." Was the first line you ever told me.

It was a spurt of confidence on your part, something you don't normally do. After getting to know you I found out how shy of a person you really are. You would blush every time you would show up at my place of work and you would blush even harder when you would request that I be your waiter.

And I went for it. I fell for your awkward charm and amazing smile. I would look forward to working on the days you would stop by; I would even slip papers next to your receipt of my schedule so you would know what days I worked and what days I had off.  I wanted to see you again each and every time you would leave after eating. At times I would even make the bill less so that you would have more money to come by again.

I even enjoyed the times where you simply came for a cup of tea and I was the one to serve it.

When I asked for your name in the nicest way possible you merely responded with, "Call me Niel." Nothing more, nothing less. I had nothing else to go off of, no last name and with a first name like Niel I was sure it had be a nickname of yours. But even after not knowing your full name or even your first name I simply called you as you wanted to be called—Niel.

I looked up the name and only got American pictures of people named Neil so I decided if you didn't want to be found out then I'll continue to be in the dark.

You see I don't get out much, I don't surf the web as much as people would think and I don't do much of anything besides wake up, go to work, get home and maybe read a book. Maybe.

How was I supposed to know you were some hip new rookie singer who just barely debuted as a solo singer for T.O.P. Media? How was I supposed to know that this whole friendship of ours was a big secret and if the media found out I would be trampled by raging fangirls who all love you to death.

How was I supposed to know that you didn't care about the fame or the girls; how was I supposed to know that you only cared about going to the small restaurant I worked at so that you could order something with me as the waiter.

I didn't. We couldn't be anything because I didn't know. You never wanted to tell me that you were completely into me besides the first comment you made towards me, you never asked what my ual orientation was so I never told you.

I never had the chance to tell you how much those small visits meant to me and I never got to tell you how much seeing your smile would brighten up my day. I never wanted to admit it to anyone that I fell for that lovely smile of yours or the cute way you would talk to me. I will never tell a soul how much I truly loved you and how much I just wanted to be in your arms.

Then you came to me one day while I was walking to work, you pulled me aside to a vacant place and told me to not speak. Those pleading eyes of yours broke my heart that day without you even knowing.

"You have to listen to me Byunghun, okay? They almost found me out. I can't be around this area, I can't even be seen with anyone right now."

I was shocked, I can remember that much. I had no clue what you were rambling on about. Something about fangirls, something about the media. I almost didn't want to believe it. Finally you said it loud and clear.

"I can't see you anymore. If you ever see me you can't even say hello."

This was goodbye.

We weren't even in a relationship. We didn't have a fling or even a kiss. Nothing to remember you by besides that warming smile.

But I didn't want that and at that moment I didn't care. I grabbed you by the collar of your suit and pulled you down to my eye level and slammed my lips into yours. If this was going to be goodbye, if this was going to be the last time I can even acknowledge your presence then it was worth every second of it.

And what was worse was when you kissed me right back without a single bit of hesitation. It killed me on the inside as you kissed me back roughly, grabbing my hair and running your fingers through it. You were everything I ever wanted and I had you for that one moment.

But then that moment was gone.

"I love you Byunghun."

And with that you were gone from my life.

I never got over that kiss and I never got over you. I watched you on the TV as you made your grand debut as a solo singer and I watched as your music video came out perfectly and heard your amazing voice sing just as passionately as I knew you were.

It broke my heart the entire time knowing we really could never be a thing. It killed me to know that you were going to live your life the way you wanted to and be an amazing singer while I was stuck hating my life each passing day.

But I could see you never got over me, I could tell from the interviews, I could tell from the fan meetings. You were losing sleep over this, and when asked you covered it up with work and being busy. You talked about having a first love and a first kiss with someone you fell for, you talked about me but never mentioned much when it came to describing me or talking about who I was. I was this big mystery girl who everyone was jealous over—if only they knew I was actually a boy a year older than you.

I quit after people started questioning me about you, asking me if you really did eat here a lot and if you knew anyone on a personal level. I lied my way through each day until it became unbearable and I left.

Now here I am still moping about life and wishing I had what I once had. You.

Maybe I should join you, maybe I should find a talent in showbiz and work my way up to you.

Or maybe we were just never meant to be.