It was on a Sunday night when Hoya discovered Sunggyu and Woohyun’s secret affair, and exactly where they stood in their relationship.

Infinite was at Music Bank, and they were prepared to perform their song, Paradise, in five minutes. The filming crew ready, the stage props were all set, and the members were dressed and ready to go.

The stage director was shouting orders left and right to direct the backup dancers and when everything seemed set, he suddenly yelled, “Hey! Where are my two main vocals?! This is not the time, we’re already late! Hoya, hurry and go find them, now!"

Hoya and the rest of Infinite looked behind themselves; they could almost swear that Sunggyu and Woohyun were sitting right on that couch just a few minutes before, whispering and laughing to each other.

Maybe they forgot something in the dressing rooms? Hoya wondered as he headed backstage.

The dressing rooms were empty, except for their makeup-noona who had just finished packing things up in her bag. “Howon-sshi, is something wrong?" she asked.

"Um, have you seen Leader Gyu and Woohyun anywhere?" Hoya questioned, looking around into the nearby clothing racks.

She frowned in thinking before her face lit up, remembering something.

"Ah! I just saw them going into the bathroom a few minutes ago!" And with that, Hoya quickly thanked the makeup-noona before hurridly walking towards the bathrooms.

-

The lights of the bathroom were turned off when Hoya walked in, and he almost thought that the bathroom was empty. They’re probably back on stage by now, Hoya thought as he prepared to exit the bathroom to check again on stage.

It wasn’t until Hoya heard a faint growl coming from a closed bathroom stall that Hoya immediately froze.

A ghost! That was Hoya’s first thought and he was almost too startled to move. But upon closer listening, Hoya made out rustling of clothing and then heated gasps.

Hoya could feel a blush spreading across his face, as he realized what those two people in the stall were doing, in the dark confines of the bathroom. 

And then, a low moan.

Woohyun’s moan.

Alarm bells went off in Hoya’s head. Woohyun is making out with someone right before a performance! Hoya always knew he was a player, but this was… Hoya had no words to describe it.

And then, out of the darkness, came a breathy whisper, “We should get back on stage, they’re probably looking for us right now".

Sunggyu.

Sunggyu!

Hoya could easily distinguish Infinite leader’s voice, and with that, on his mind were only three syllables, richocheting themselved across the confines of his mind.

Holy .

Even though it was dark, Hoya could tell: his hyungs were making out. He was too shocked to even apprehend the situation.

So, they’re gay - and that wasn’t even a question. Honestly Hoya didn’t know what to think of this; it all took him by surprise.

Heart pumping fast, Hoya’s senses finally came back to him when he heard a click, the unlocking of the closed nearby stall.

Immediately he scrambled out of the bathroom, and walked as briskly as he could to the stage, trying to look as normal as possible despite the questioning looks of the members.

"Howon, what happened? Did you find them? You look as if you just saw a ghost", Dongwoo spoke, asking exactly what was on everyone’s minds.

"Nothing!" Hoya said a little too quickly. “I mean, they’re coming soon!"

And right on time, Sunggyu and Woohyun arrived on stage, looking as if everything was dandy and perfectly fine.

"Sorry we’re late," Sunggyu calmly stated. “Had we missed anything?"

Hoya could not believe how calm and normal the two of them looked, as if they had just gone to do something normal like fixing their clothes or actually using the restroom, despite what he had witnessed just a few minutes ago.

"No not much," Sungjong chirped, answering for all of them. “Hoya came looking for you, but he’s back now. We’re starting soon."

"Oh. You went looking for us, Hoya?" Sunggyu had a curious look as he peered at him.

Hoya decided to tell the half truth. “Yes but I couldn’t find you so I thought you came back here and you did," he said all in one breath, desperately trying to sound as normal as possible.

"Oh. Okay then," Woohyun looked relieved but Hoya did not miss Sunggyu’s questioning look, almost concerned.

Hoya had never felt so relieved of the strange tension when the stage director’s voice suddenly pierced the air, “Ah, you two are finally here! Where were you two? Nevermind that, we’re already late. We’re starting now, take your places!"

Glad that he was relieved from the awkward atmosphere, Hoya took his place on stage, and as the first few beats of Paradise sounded, he lost himself in the dance, temporarily forgetting what he had witnessed before.

-

Sunggyu layed still that night in his bed, thinking of Hoya’s strange behavior that night.

After the Paradise performance, Hoya had avoided him and Woohyun for the rest of the show and on the ride home. They won with that performance too, but when Sunggyu had hugged Hoya, he felt him stiffen in his arms for a second before half-heartedly returning the embrace.

Did he see him with Woohyun in the bathroom? Sunggyu was horrified by the thought. Right now, even he did not know where he stood with Woohyun, let alone Hoya to make assumptions.

But Hoya is not one to pry. If any of the Infinite members were to discover him and Woohyun, Sunggyu is glad that it’s Hoya, because Hoya is not a gossip.

Sunggyu is pretty sure that Hoya is not a homophobe; he just recently accepted a role a drama where he would be featured as a gay character who falls in love with his best friend. Yes, if Infinite were to know about Sunggyu and Woohyun’s relationship, Sunggyu thinks that Hoya would be the most accepting.

But that thought still doesn’t settle his mind.

If Hoya brings it up, Sunggyu decides, then he will tell him the honest truth. But only if Hoya asks.

After all, he is still not completely sure what had Hoya acting strangely that night.

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 2

Woogyu Finds Out That Hoya Found Out

 

A full month has passed ever since Hoya accidentally saw Sunggyu and Woohyun together in the bathrooms, and Hoya still can’t believe it.

 

The day after finding Sunggyu and Woohyun, Hoya tried convinced himself that it was all a dream - it could have very well have been, since for the entire week Sunggyu and Woohyun acted so impossibly normal, as if all was fine and no secrets were kept.

 

But alas, he had to come to terms with his discovery.

 

In all truth, Hoya is okay with Sunggyu and Woohyun being together. But they could have told him and the rest of Infinite before, at least; Hoya didn’t particularly have the most jolly experience walking in on them last week.

 

But nevertheless, Hoya can understand why this is being kept secret between his two hyungs. Many entertainment companies in the Korean Pop industry instigate a dating ban on their group members. Scandals and gossip by the media is all around them, not to mention homouality being ultimately looked down upon in Korea.

 

And as Infinite’s leader, Sunggyu would never tell anyone about his relationship with Woohyun. Hoya has known the leader for years; Sunggyu will always deny, deny, and deny. He will do anything he can to protect the group.

 

It was a different story for Wooyun, though. Hoya knows, Woohyun is more softhearted than Sunggyu. Woohyun is too emotional; he can only keep a secret for so long until he just has to tell someone. If their affair was being kept top secret, Hoya knows that Woohyun will be the first to break under the pressure.

 

And now, here Infinite were again, this time at Inkigayo, about to give another performance, their comeback performance.

 

And, just like last time, Sunggyu and Woohyun are nowhere to be found.

 

Hoya absolutely does not want to go looking for them. He firmly dreads going out to look for his two older hyungs, because he fears what he will find. What if the both of them are going at it again? It will be awkward. Very, very awkward. It’s already all awkward for Hoya and he doesn’t want it to be even more awkward today.

 

“Hoya, get Sunggyu and Woohyun for me, will you? We’re almost on. They should have been out of the dressing rooms by now,” Manager-hyung said, watching the television screen on the wall.

 

Oh, no.

 

Hoya thought too soon. He didn’t know if it was just his luck, or karma playing tricks on him.

 

He cannot say no to the manager; he will have to look for them.

 

“Okay,” Hoya answered, reluctantly, and shuffled away to look for his two older hyungs.

 

-

 

As soon as he arrived to the dressing rooms, Hoya wanted to get out, immediately.

 

One of the dressing rooms was closed, shown by a dark black curtain drawn over one of the cubicles. The curtain was cut at the bottom foot though, so Hoya could see two feet sticking out from in the dressing room. Hoya had no doubt that both Sunggyu and Woohyun were in there; he could hear their distinctive harsh breathing, rustling, and heated gasps coming out of the room.

 

Damn it.

 

If they’re trying to keep whatever they have secret, they’re definitely not doing a very good job at it, Hoya thought. Seriously, how could they be more obvious? If anyone other than Hoya had walked in, such as any news reporters sneaking in, no one knows what would happen. Infinite would be ruined.

 

What’s more, Hoya knew for sure that Sunggyu and Woohyun were in that room, yet he could only see two feet rooted to the ground in that dressing room. Hoya recognized Sunggyu’s shoes, that was Sunggyu right there. But, Hoya could definitely hear Woohyun also, but he didn’t see Woohyun’s feet, so either Woohyun can fly, or…. Sunggyu’s got Woohyun pinned to the wall of the dressing room.

 

Oh, , Hoya thought as the mechanisms of his reasonable mind started working, imagining the scenario that was happening behind those curtains. Woohyun’s legs wrapped around Sunggyu’s middle. Sunggyu crushing Woohyun into the wall behind them, all the while making out like there’s no tomorrow.

 

But that’s not all that’s got him bothered.

 

Before Hoya even realized it, a had erected itself proudly in his pants, making a very, visible tent.

 

.

 

And, upon realization, Hoya hyperventilated; he started shaking, his eyes were as wide as saucers, his breathing rushed as his eyes shifted hastily left and right, not knowing what to do. In that moment, Hoya felt so dirty, and so ashamed at himself. Here he was, getting at his hyungs making out in the dressing room. He absolutely wanted to die in a corner right now.

 

But in the end he opted for the wiser option. As his mind came back to him, he mad dashed out of the dressing rooms and straight to the bathroom, locking himself in an empty stall. Thank goodness no one was in the bathrooms.

 

Last month Hoya had been so surprised that he didn’t think anything could surprise him more. But this, this was beyond anything he had ever thought of witnessing, and even more bewildering, his uncontrolled response to the situation. He was so disgusted with himself as he willed his to go away. Hoya cringed, this was definitely not the right time and the right place; he’s performing in a few minutes, dammit! After a few seconds of thinking of spiders (his worst fear that no one will ever know) Hoya finally sighed in relief.

 

He couldn’t do this anymore; he will not stand Sunggyu and Woohyun like this anymore! They were supposed to be the more mature ones, but if they keep on being so damn obvious like this, then they will be the ruin of Infinite. Hoya is going to stick up for himself and tell them tonight. Yes, he will tell them the truth, that they are just too obvious and they have to be more careful.

 

After taking many deep breaths to calm himself down and spashing his face with cold water, Hoya was finally composed enough to go back out. As he stepped out of the bathroom and walked back into the dressing rooms with a resolute mind, he saw Dongwoo standing at the door to the dressing rooms.

 

Hoya’s breath hitched at this; was Dongwoo going to discover the Woogyu affair too? But as Dongwoo turned around, Sunggyu and Woohyun tailing straight behind, and dressed, Hoya mentally felt relief upon him. Dongwoo didn’t find out. Good, because no one needs to know about all this, even Hoya.

 

-

 

“Hyung? Can I, um, talk with you for a second?” Hoya asked Sunggyu that night, as he stood at the door to his hyungs’ shared room. Woohyun was taking a shower, so it was only him and the leader.

 

Hoya finally gathered up the courage that night to talk to Sunggyu about it. He is only going to only talk to Sunggyu about it, not Woohyun, because if anyone were to ask, Woohyun is definitely not one of his favorite fellow members. They are awkward with each other, and quite frankly Hoya feels more comfortable talking to Sunggyu.

 

“Yes, Hoya? Something wrong?” Sunggyu was busily texting on his phone, not even bothering to look up.

 

“Err… You see…. Um…-”

 

“Hoya, spit it out, what is it?” Sunggyu finally got off his phone, and was looking at him questioningly, concern evident in his eyes.

 

Hoya decided to just get straight to the point.

 

“Can you and Woohyun kind of, I don’t know, tone it down a little?” Hoya blurted out. “I mean, today was the second time I walked in on you guys going at it again, and how could you be more obvious, I don’t know.”

 

There. Hoya had finally said it. And bluntly, too. But he said it.

 

Silence reigned in the atmosphere. Sunggyu seemed shocked, and Hoya did not know what to do, and he averted his eyes to a moth perched outside on the window, as if it were the most interesting thing to do.

 

Hoya considered leaving, right then and there; the air was so thick and awkward that he could cut through it with a butter knife.

 

But right when Hoya was about to leave, Sunggyu finally responded.

 

“Okay, I understand. Thank you, Hoya.” Sunggyu voice was quiet, but he sounded grim, and serious.

 

Hoya nodded and walked out of the room.

 

Okay. What had to be said has been said, and with that thought Hoya felt an immense weight put off of him. He hopes Sunggyu and Woohyun could at least be a little more discreet now; he doesn’t want to walk in on any situations any more.

 

-

 

“Hoya knows,” Sunggyu said out of nowhere when Woohyun came back from his shower.

 

“What?” Woohyun was still busily drying his hair with an towel.

 

“Hoya knows. About us,” Sunggyu had a serious look on his face. “Today was the second time he walked in on us.”

 

“…So?”

 

“God dammit, Woohyun! Someone had seen us, thank goodness it was Hoya!”

 

“…Need I remind you that it was you who jumped me today?” Woohyun’s voice sounded amused and he looked like he was about to burst out laughing, and that pissed off Sunggyu even further.

 

Woohyun thinks this is all a game? Their careers were at stake here, and Woohyun thinks this is funny?! How dare he! “I hate you,” Sunggyu said with a huff.

 

Woohyun went to turn off the lights before heading to bed. “I hate you too,” Woohyun was smiling, Sunggyu could hear it.

 

“Starting tomorrow, this is going to stop. We can’t risk it anymore, it’s too dangerous.”

 

“Well…Okay then.” Woohyun doubts Sunggyu’s decision and Sunggyu hates that fact.

 

It was a few minutes later and then Woohyun was fast asleep, softly snoring from the bottom bunk while Sunggyu was still awake and thinking.

 

Sunggyu never wanted anyone to find out about him and Woohyun. But now Hoya knows, and Hoya found out too easily. As leader, Sunggyu cannot let anything personal come in the way of Infinite. If Sunggyu and Woohyun can’t hide it well, then this will all have to stop.

 

Woohyun doubts that they will ever stop all this, and now Sunggyu sort of agrees. It will be hard to keep their hands off each other.

 

So that means that next time they have to be more careful. No one must know.

 

No one must know anything.