Each passing day the sun rises but still Jongin doesn't return.

I go through my daily life as if in a dream, I see and feel thing but they don't seem to penetrate through the hard wall I've built up. I immerse myself in school work and stay at home curled up on the sofa.

Most days I manage to keep the panic at bay, the worry that he won’t come back to me. I know that he will never let me down, he will always return. If he feels the same feelings that I do then he will find it impossible to stay away.

There are some days, especially in the evenings when the panic and the worry rise like vomit in my throat and I think that this is it, I’m never going to see him again, never going to feel his touch, hear his voice, see his smile. Never going to see him standing waiting for me with his hands in his pockets and his head leaning against the wall. Never going to see him bite his lips and his eyes burn just at the moment when we kiss. Never going to see him laugh with his friends or dance with Sehun. Never going to see him slowly fall asleep whenever we're sitting still for more then 15 minutes. Never going to see him dance. Never going to...

Sometimes this goes on for hours, and I get stuck in this loop of fear that I'll never experience these things again. Eventually I manage to drag myself out from these thoughts and hug Saja while he the tears off my face.

Apart from that I am okay.

I am doing fine.

"I'm worried about you," Sujin says.

It's been a week since Jongin's mysterious disappearance and I'm sitting in the library doing extra work.

"Worried? Why?" I say, still looking through my papers.

"Even though you're trying to act normal I know Kai's disappearing act has affected you." She says, raising her voice a little louder to try and get my attention.

"It hasn't, I'm absolutely fine," I say, underlining something on my page.

All of a sudden, the pieces of paper on the table are whipped away along with the pen I'm holding.

"Stop it!" She says, flushes of pink on her cheeks, "Just stop trying to pretend you're okay when I know you're not. Even if you don't want to admit it you are not okay. You've stopped eating, you've started pushing everyone away, and I’m not the only one who's noticed this."

"I appreciate your concern Sujin but really there's nothing to worry about," I try and give a bright smile.

"When's the last time you ate?" She asked simply.

I open my mouth and then close it again.

"Exactly. Your face has got so gaunt these days Ara-"

"Oh come on in a week?" I scoff.

"Yes in a week! When's the last time you hung out with Chanyeol? Or any of the boys for that matter. I can't remember the last time I saw you genuinely smile."

"Sujin," I sigh.

"No," She holds up my hand, "I get that you like him, and I've no doubt that he likes you too but can't you see what he's doing to you? What you're doing to yourself? I'm really worried about you; I could kill Kai for leaving you like this. What if he never comes back Ara? What if he just leaves you hanging like this? What if you spend each day waiting for him and then before you know it years have passed and instead of enjoying life you've just been sat here waiting for someone who just left-"

"STOP IT!" I scream.

All at once I am on my feet, breathing heavily, fists clenched. The cafe has fallen silent and I'm getting concerned looks everywhere; the waiters are dithering around, wondering whether to come over. Sujin looks at me, her eyes wide and shocked.

"Ara I didn't mean-"

"Just stop," I whisper, closing my eyes. I'm almost begging her, "I'm so sick and tired of everyone telling me that I'm not okay, that I'm not fine when I know that I'm not okay. He took my heart with him when he left. Tell me Sujin, how the hell a person supposed to function without their heart? Believe me I know I'm not okay. Having hope that he'll come back is all that is keeping me going right now. Don't take that away from me."

I scoop all of my papers into my bag, not caring if they crumple up; I can just redo them later. I need the distraction.

"Ara..." There are tears in Sujin's eyes as she looks at me. "I care about you. I just want you to be okay. We're all worried about you."

I open my mouth to tell her not to worry.

But then I stop.

I stare at her. Then I look down at my hands which are still shaking. I look at the notes on the table and realise they don't even make any sense. I look to my left at the glass of the window where I can see my reflection. My eyes just look black and wide in my face, like someone who's been ill.

I close my mouth.

How can I tell her not to worry about me when I'm worrying myself?

That night I climb the next flight of stairs and push open the metal door. The breeze from the cool night air hits me and I stand there and take a deep breath. It flows through my body, nursing the life back into my blood.

I go to the edge of the roof and kneel beside the edge, looking out over my neighbourhood. Seoul looks so beautiful at night. All the lights shine so bright. It's comforting that when I can't sleep, there are probably hundreds of stores that are still open. It's nice to know I'm not the only one awake in a sea of sleeping people.

I lie back on the hard concrete and look at the stars shining in the sky, so close it seems that if I were to reach out I'd be able to touch one.

I imagine that Jongin's lying down and looking up at the same sky. I imagine that I can see the stars reflected in his eyes. I imagine that he turns his face towards me with a soft easy smile on his face and says 'Make a wish.'

I lift a hand to my face and wipe away my tears, but it's pointless because more just follow. I reach in to my pocket and pull out my phone. I need to hear his voice, I need to just-

"The number you have dialled is currently unavaliable."

"For s sake Jongin!" I scream, "Where the are you?"

I fumble with my phone and dial another number. The phone rings a couple of times before a deep voice answers.

"Ara? What's up?"

"What’s up? What's up is the fact that I'm on my ing apartment roof top crying because the guy I like has disappeared off the face of the earth and out of my life like he never existed and it hurts real bad and I don't want to be here right now I don't want to feel these things I just really want to be okay right now."

I'm sobbing too much to continue and instead of trying to stop myself, I lean forward, put my head in my hands and sob. I sob until my throat is raw and not an inch of my face is dry. It's like I'm detoxing my system of Jongin, of all the thoughts and worries and panic I've built up by trying to convince myself that I'm fine.

"Just let it all out," Kris says.

"I think I've finished now," I say hiccuping, "Sorry about shouting and swearing on the phone."

"Don't worry about it, you sound less stressed now anyway." Kris says.

"I guess so... I just wanted to speak to someone who wasn't in the same country as me, someone who was so far away. Does that sound weird?"

"No not at all," Kris laughs, "No seriously, I get where you're coming from. But even though we're far away, we're still feeling the same pain all of you are."

"So you haven't heard from him then?" I sigh.

"Nope, not a word."

"And you have no idea where he could have gone?"

"Not a clue. All the places we thought of Suho and the others have already checked."

I bury my head in my hands and sigh.

"I would really give anything for him to walk on to this rooftop right now," I sigh.

"I'd give anything to just be of more help," Kris's deep voice crackles on the phone line as he sighs, "It for us to be all the way over here when one of us is missing."

I raise my head and look at the phone.

"You know what you're right," I say slowly, "It does for you guys to be all the way over there. It shouldn't be like that, you guys are practically brothers."

"But what can we do? It has to be this way," Kris mumbles.

"No it doesn't. Have you forgotten my offer?”

“No, believe me I still remember what I crazily agreed to,” He says wryly.

 “This is just what we need.” I continue, “What the boys here in Korea need, what you guys need. All of you need to be here together at this time. It's time to put this plan in to action."

"Woah woah wait hold on," Kris says quickly, "Are you saying what I think you are?"

“That depends,” I say, “If you’re currently thinking about what to pack, then I’d say yes, we are most definitely having the same thoughts.”

“You’re being serious aren’t you,” He says.

“Deadly. When can you leave?”

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A/N: Hey guys, how are you all doing? Thanks for supporting this fan fiction and upvoting it I'M SO HONOURED! I love reading every single comment that you guys leave me, most of them make me laugh so hard :') I love all the speculations as to where Jongin has gone and who is he, keep them coming! I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter and please anticipate the next one!