“No matter where we are, we will be together right, Chanyeol?” Baekhyun questions, eyes locked with Chanyeol. Chanyeol finds himself nodding, “Always and forever, Baek.” Baekhyun smiles at Chanyeol’s answer, “even after death?” Chanyeol grins; Baekhyun does not know how to give up. “Forever is also after death, Baekhyun.” Baekhyun kisses Chanyeol’s cheek making Chanyeol look his way, “and what does always mean?” Chanyeol thinks for a while and answers, “Always is with you.”

Chanyeol keeps that promise dear to his heart.

--

Chanyeol walks down the familiar corridors, greeting each and everyone with the biggest smile anyone could offer. He puts his fingers on the railing, making them dance just like how a small kid would do it. Chanyeol wants to go back to how it was, when he was a child, where responsibility cease to exist and he can only think of what else he could he draw on his paper, suns, rainbows and happy dandy clouds.

That’s what Chanyeol wants.

“Giant!” Kyungsoo calls out to Chanyeol, snapping him out of his reverie. “Your chair is ready for you.” Kyungsoo says, walking inside the room waiting for Chanyeol.

Chanyeol sits down and musters up a smile. “Hey Kyungsoo?” Kyungsoo looks his way, eyes wide, questioning. “Could you do me a favour?”

At this, Kyungsoo laughs. “Sure, Chanyeol. What can I do for you?”

Kyungsoo will do as many favours as Chanyeol wants as long as it is in his hands and as long as he knows that prolongs Chanyeol’s life span. He just wants that but favours cannot prolong anyone’s life.

Chanyeol claps his hands, making the machine next to him give a beep. Kyungsoo gives Chanyeol a glare, to stay still, that’s hard if you are Park Chanyeol. “My bad, sorry…”

Kyungsoo hooks him back onto the machine. “Stay still now.” Chanyeol gives a small smile, squirming in his seat and Kyungsoo smacks him playfully. “Now the favour… What do you want?” Kyungsoo asks, trying to look angry, though he fails at it.

“Could you get me some A3 paper and colourful crayons?” Chanyeol does not want to sound like a silly child asking for this type of things but he just really wants to draw again like how he drew when he was small.

Anything to keep you up and running, Kyungsoo thinks. “Sure. No problem.”

--

“You have to, Baekhyun. I want you to get better and—“

“No, mom. I refuse. If I’m going to die soon, I don’t want it to be in a freaking hospital where people are already dead inside and they are just walking around to wait for the day they actually die.” Baekhyun exclaims, pacing back and forth. His ears are red, Baekhyun is pretty sure there is steam coming out of his ears. He is going to keep refusing, he only has so long before he just collapses and that’s the end of him so why make him stay in a place that is already dead?

He stops pacing, slowly taking deep breathes to calm himself down, to think straight and that’s when he hears his mother’s soft crying. Listening to a mother’s cry will break the person and Baekhyun thinks this is happening to him right now. It’s heart breaking, and it is even worse than your first break up because this is the person who wants the best for you, always and forever.

“Mom…” Baekhyun walks up to his mother, who is on the couch, tissue in hand, sniffling softly. “I’m sorry, I just—“

“I get it, Baekkie.” She says, and Baekhyun tries not to cry as well as she uses his nickname. “I just want you to be—“

Baekhyun smiles, wiping away her tears, “better?” She nods softly. “We have all the money to help you recover, everything.” Baekhyun wipes her new tears away, shaking his head slowly, retreating his hands, and putting his hands together.

It is never about money. He has everything, Baekhyun knows that but he just wants to be free. He also wants to be free from this illness. He wants to see his mother happy, he doesn’t want to leave this world with a mom who is crying like how she is now, slowly wiping away her tears as another batch of tears replace them. “Okay Mom…” Baekhyun starts off, “If I take this treatment, I am still free to do whatever right? I can set off every three days and come back and do the treatment?”

She nods, anything for him, anything for her little Baekhyun.

Baekhyun claps his hands together, giving his mom a small wink, “where do I sign up for my death?”

Baekhyun isn’t that good with humour.

--

Baekhyun gets hooked up to the machine that is supposed to make him better. It is supposed to give him that boost of energy. He does not think it’s working though. He sees his blood pumps out of him and he thinks to himself what the hell did he signed up for, really? It’s bloody barbaric. He thinks again about how he made his mother cry and closes his eyes. He never wants to see tears on another person he loves. Baekhyun’s father never cried, never showed any emotions when they found out about his illness. Baekhyun just thinks he is a heartless person who only cares about money like that can bring you any happiness in this world.

“Your first day?” Baekhyun opens his eyes slowly, annoyed. Baekhyun looks at the person next to him who is also getting hooked up to same machine he is. At least he doesn’t feel so alone now but Baekhyun wants to be alone now. He looks at this giant, floppy hair, face sunken but still glowing with optimism and for a while, that’s what Baekhyun wants—optimism.

Baekhyun sighs, blasting his iPod and faces the ceiling, counting the tiles to use up his time. Baekhyun hears the giant with floppy hair laughing making Baekhyun slow down the volume of his iPod. “Is he new, Kyungsoo?” He snickers and Baekhyun tries not to think how cute he snickers with the snorting, Baekhyun hasn’t seen him actually snickering, still staring at the ceiling trying not to be interested in whatever they were talking about even when he knows they are talking about him. Baekhyun closes his eyes, enough with the tiles already.

“Ah… He is the new guy everyone was talking about this morning?” Baekhyun has a feeling whoever that guy was talking to, just nodded.

“Don’t you think he is cute, Kyungsoo?”

Kyungsoo shushes, “Chanyeol, shut up, he can hear you.”

“Nah, the big shot can’t hear me, he is busy listening to his iPod.”

Baekhyun feels kind of flattered that someone actually thinks he is cute, being stuck on this chair hooked to this stupid machine. “Thanks for thinking I’m cute Chanyeol.” Baekhyun opens his eyes and looks directly into Chanyeol’s eyes. Chanyeol tries not to gulp so hard because he may choke on his own saliva. Baekhyun looks at him, waiting for an answer. “That is your name right? Chanyeol?” Chanyeol nods, somehow this guy is intimidating.

Baekhyun scoffs and looks up at the ceiling again, what a bloody magnificent view.

“I wished they painted these walls with the sky, it would be lovely.” He hears Chanyeol say and as much as Baekhyun hates being in the company of other people especially when wants to be alone, he finds himself promising the guy with floppy hair that he will make the walls colourful for the both of them to look and admire.

For now, Chanyeol doesn’t have to know of this small promise.

--

“Kyungsoo?” Chanyeol looks around, confused, “Aren’t we supposed to go in room 508 for my treatment?” Kyungsoo shrugs, “They are renovating the place or something so we will be heading to room 305 instead.” Chanyeol thinks it’s weird that out of nowhere they decided to renovate.

When Kyungsoo has hooked Chanyeol up to his machine, Chanyeol looks around to see the other person that will keep him company while Kyungsoo goes off to do whatever it is he has to do as a nurse. Kyungsoo looks at Chanyeol and grins, “you looking for the small man are you?” Chanyeol laughs at this, his laugh bouncing in the very empty room. “Too obvious?” Chanyeol clicks his tongue. “And just for your information, you are small too so… I could have been looking for you?”

Kyungsoo glares at him, walking slowly towards Chanyeol as he shakes his head and makes a face “I’m already here, Chanyeol. People usually look for people when they are not around.” Chanyeol sticks out his tongue like a kid and Kyungsoo laughs, what a kid. “He isn’t here today, he went off or something. He will be back.” Kyungsoo salutes and walks off.

“Looks like I’m alone today.” He pats his seat.

--

Baekhyun thinks this is silly. He should be happy that he is in front of his favourite beach, waves crashing slowly, the wind chilly but Baekhyun likes this. It’s just him and his thoughts but he doesn’t understand why his thoughts are on the floppy hair and the endless snickers he hears. He feels like he can hear Chanyeol’s snickers all the way from the hospital. It’s miles away and Baekhyun is confused.

Confused as his heart thumps louder in his chest, thoughts crashing and his mind slowly drowning.

Baekhyun still does not have a clue.

--

Chanyeol walks into room 508, Kyungsoo trailing behind him. It takes them a moment to fully look at the room and Chanyeol mouths a small, ‘Wow’. He is speechless. Baekhyun smiles with his eyes closed as he hears Chanyeol’s whispers a small ‘wow.’

“I hope you like it.” Baekhyun says, opening his eyes and watching Chanyeol take it all in.

Just as Baekhyun promised himself and the person who will be keeping him company. He made the ceilings full of clouds, light blue with the sudden fluffiness of white cotton candy, a small sun at the side like how a small boy’s drawing would be with a smile adorned on it, a colourful fading rainbow that makes it picture perfect. Chanyeol never thought his drawing would come to life and be up on this ceiling. Of course, the ceiling was a work of art and Chanyeol’s was just mere doodles.

“Thanks…” Chanyeol starts but he doesn’t know his name.

“Baekhyun.” Baekhyun finishes off and Chanyeol feels like Baekhyun already knows who Chanyeol is.

He looks up at the clouds and for once, Chanyeol feels peace, overwhelming him slowly and taking him slowly, embracing him and Chanyeol likes this feeling, never wanting it to end. “It’s like you know me, Baekhyun… It’s like you know who I am with the sun at the side with a happy face and—“

“But I don’t know who you are, Chanyeol.” Baekhyun looks at Chanyeol, face scrunched. Baekhyun tries not to make Chanyeol’s face sink into his mind. It’s dangerous but that is exactly what he is doing. He is slowly imprinting Chanyeol’s face into his brain to take with him when he goes off for his next adventure.

“You do, Baek. You do.” Chanyeol says sleepily, rubbing his eyes and falling asleep in his assigned seat.

Baekhyun does not know what Chanyeol means by that but he would be lying if he said he is not scared about finding out.

--

Baekhyun thought one day in the hospital wouldn’t hurt. He doesn’t have anywhere to go and he, for once, doesn’t feel like going out anywhere. He cranes his neck, slowly thinking to himself that it is stupid of him to crane his neck for anything (more like someone) because he is pretty sure he could spot Chanyeol and his floppy hair anywhere.

“Are you looking for me, Byun Baekhyun?” Baekhyun jumps, quickly looking back, feet at width stand ready to kick off the person who tried to scare him. Chanyeol wasn’t really trying to scare him but it is quite funny to see Baekhyun in that pose, stance or whatever it is you called it, Chanyeol never took Taekwondo, Karate or whatever.

Baekhyun clears his throat, straightening out his attire. “Whoever said I was looking for you?”

Chanyeol puts his hands up in defeat. “Whatever, Baek. I’m pretty sure you were looking for me.”

Chanyeol gets a smack from Baekhyun. “I was not looking for you.” Baekhyun emphasizes.

Chanyeol smiles and pats Baekhyun’s head. “You will. One day, you will.” Chanyeol says, with all his seriousness.

Baekhyun is scared for that day to actually come.

--

As the time ticks, the sun that shines so bright goes down slowly opening up the door to farewell, Baekhyun is getting scared.

When he first stepped into the hospital. He thinks to himself why is he doing this, why does he want to be in a place as dead as this and die in a place like this.

When he first stepped into room 508, he thinks to himself why did he end up getting a guy who doesn’t shut his mouth? Who laughs at everything and his never ending snickers, twitching eyes even when the sun is already set and another day has gone by?

When he first stepped into Chanyeol’s heart. Again, Baekhyun thinks to himself that he should have never set foot anywhere again because now he thinks this is dangerous as he looks up at the sky with Chanyeol next to him, breathing slowly. It’s one of those days where Chanyeol is let out of the hospital and Baekhyun didn’t even let Chanyeol think of his destination when he picked this place out.

Baekhyun doesn’t want to sound selfish but he wants Chanyeol to be with him today. He doesn’t want Chanyeol out of his sight.

With Chanyeol next to him, him falling wouldn’t be as brutal as he thought it would be.

“Chanyeol…” Baekhyun whispers. A hum comes in reply and Baekhyun shifts closer to Chanyeol, loving his warm body next to his. Baekhyun tries not to think what if the body next to him becomes cold? he doesn’t want to think about that, not tonight and not ever. Baekhyun never realises he is mentally challenging his own mind as tears falls down on his face. Baekhyun feels Chanyeol shift, before Baekhyun’s eyes open, Chanyeol cradles Baekhyun.

Baekhyun adjust his body in a more comfortable position and listens to Chanyeol’s slow breathing. “Chanyeol…” Baekhyun croaks out.

“Don’t cry, Baek. Just don’t.” Chanyeol whispers. Baekhyun nuzzles his head into Chanyeol’s neck, slowly hearing Chanyeol’s steady heartbeat and again, he thinks of Chanyeol’s heart stopping.

Baekhyun cries in Chanyeol’s arms, wetting Chanyeol’s shirt but Chanyeol doesn’t care. “Please don’t leave me, Chanyeol.”

“Don’t cry, Baek.” Chanyeol pleads. I won’t leave you. This is making it harder for himself.

Never once did Chanyeol think he would get anything by this treatment. Never once did Chanyeol think he was going to be anyone’s rock.

This is Chanyeol’s treatment just as it is for Baekhyun’s.

This is not what Baekhyun wants especially since it’s not everyday Chanyeol gets to get out of the hospital. Baekhyun pats Chanyeol’s chest, slowly sitting up, even though he would love to nuzzle his head in Chanyeol’s neck a little longer. “Want to hear a joke, Chan?”

Chanyeol snickers, the tears that were threatening to fall just a minute ago, drying as fast as it came. “You are not good with jokes, Baek. I suggest you don’t tell me one.”

Baekhyun pouts. “That is not nice, I’m really good with jokes.”

“Fine.” Chanyeol says, you can never beat Baekhyun if he pouts.

Baekhyun tells a series of really embarrassing and lame jokes, Chanyeol being the good sport laughs at each one because this is what he wants. He does not want hot tears on Baekhyun’s face neither does he want them on his shirt, each tear that Baekhyun sheds only fastens his illness.

They laugh all night and there isn’t a place in the world Chanyeol would want to be except here—with Baekhyun.

--

Nobody loves bad news. Accidents, and all the other bad things in the world but the worst one at the top of the list is Death. Everyone goes through it and no matter what; you can never run away from it.

Baekhyun wants to run away from the angel death. He wants Chanyeol to come along with him and just run, hide, no one can know he existed; it doesn’t matter as long as he is with Chanyeol.

“How long did the doctor say, Chanyeol?” Baekhyun asks nonchalantly. It’s not that he doesn’t care, he does. He cares so much. If Chanyeol knew that, he would not tell Baekhyun how much time he has left. Chanyeol scoffs at Baekhyun’s question, shrugging, “Not much, Baek. You?”

Baekhyun shrugs too. “Same. Not much.”

“. Who the hell cares right? Everyone dies.” Chanyeol flops on Baekhyun’s bed.

Baekhyun wants to do so many things with Chanyeol that was until he sees Chanyeol asleep, drooling, hands around Baekhyun’s waist. Baekhyun hugs Chanyeol back, he hears Chanyeol breathe hard and for a second he is afraid that is his last. And he doesn’t want it to be Chanyeol’s last.

--

Chanyeol finds Baekhyun looking out of window, shoulders slumped, constant sighing and Chanyeol has a feeling Baekhyun is trying so hard not to cry. “Baek?” Baekhyun looks at the person who just called out for him. Baekhyun presses his small self onto Chanyeol, hoping that if he latched himself to Chanyeol, Chanyeol won’t leave him.

“Don’t cry, Baek.” Chanyeol says, voice breaking, trying his best to soothe Baekhyun by holding him tightly. “I won’t leave you.”

“We will go together, Chanyeol.” Baekhyun says, looking into Chanyeol’s eyes, captivated and mesmerized, Chanyeol finds himself lost at words, slowly tearing, and stepping into what he never wanted to in the first place.

--

Baekhyun and Chanyeol have set up their small sleepover in room 508. It is night, though in this room, it’s still shining and that is what Baekhyun wants, that is Chanyeol to him, a shining person just like the sun and Baekhyun does not want Chanyeol to be anything other than that.

Chanyeol tucks Baekhyun in. Baekhyun snuggles into Chanyeol, hands intertwined, steady breathing and steady hearts as one.

“It’s funny, I think, Chanyeol how you gave yourself to me and I think it is funny how I accepted you without thinking twice and—“ Baekhyun stops, tears falling slowly. He wipes them away with his free hand and Chanyeol grips his hand tighter, whispering, “Don’t cry.”

“We will be okay right, Chanyeol?” Baekhyun asked, nervousness in his voice as he grips Chanyeol’s hands tighter. Chanyeol laughs, low, not wanting the people outside to know that Chanyeol is out of bed. “We will always be okay, Baek.” Baekhyun faces Chanyeol and both of them find themselves smiling at one of the other, ready for the beginning of the end.

Nobody knows when they are going to cross the border where your soul is separated from your body but everyone wants it to be with someone they love, and at times, you wouldn’t know someone is so important to you until you wished they were next to you on the day you died and it so happened to be that both of them got their wish.