And with that, signaled the end of my first year in Cube High.  A short break followed, which I mostly spent studying and having my feelings get more confused by Doojoon’s behaviour and actions.  Most of the time, I would feel like he’s so close, as if he was right next to me.  All the same, he would appear to be cold and distant and we would act like strangers all over again.

As the second year drew closer, I found myself growing more anxious and constantly staring at my phone with one particular name in mind.  On the night before school started, I slept badly.  Images of his face kept flashing in my mind, and I ended waking up to my alarm with cold sweat and wildly disheveled hair.  Not a good sign to start my second year, I decided.  Grumbling an incoherent farewell to my half-asleep parents, I set off to a new school term with anxiety in my heart. 

“Kya! Doojoon-oppa’s going to be in the same class as me!” was the first scream I heard as soon as I entered within 5m radius of the school gates.  The new class roll was displayed outside the door, and I slowly made my way there.  Scanning though the endless names, I found ‘Yoon Suah’ near the bottom of classroom 2-B.  Two names down, I saw Junhyung’s name there as well.

“Looks like I’m stuck with Doojoon this year,” Kikwang’s voice spoke beside me, and I automatically tensed.  We had never spoken again after the accident, but his presence always made me uneasy.  Just now, I felt him glance at me for a second before turning to leave.  After he finally moved away, I raised my head up to see the class roll of 2-A. 

Kwon Heeyoung…Lee Kikwang…Yoon Doojoon.   

The remaining spark in my eyes died along with his name.  Now I knew that this year was going to big time.  And guess what?  It did.

Getting stuck in a classroom with one of the kingkas was one thing, but having him as your seatmate was something else.  Since our surnames were so close together, the teacher made us sit in the back for the entire semester.  Which was fine with me, since Junhyung wasn’t much of a talker anyways.  He was always quiet in class and looked out the window, which made me wonder how he was passing his classes when he wasn't even paying attention.

Then I found out he was a genius, and hardly needed to study at all.  That was during the time the teacher assigned us to be partners for a project and he finished his part without breaking a sweat, and even helped me with mine.  Looking at him now, it was hard to believe I used to think of him as a scary gang leader.  Junhyung just appeared like that on the outside, in reality he was just a big softie with a heart of gold.

One day, I sat at the spectators stand as always, reading my latest novel when Junhyung unexpectantly came over.  “Don’t you get lonely sitting here all by yourself?”  he asked, casually putting his hands in his pant pockets.  The sunlight made him squint in order to see me. 

I smiled.  “Not really.  It’s much nicer here, away from the noise.”  

Saying that, my smile faltered as I remembered the times when Doojoon used to keep me company.  He never comes here anymore, I thought sadly.  In fact, I rarely saw him at school at all except once during soccer practice, and even then I barely detected a flash of the gold “7” amongst the running teams.

Junhyung then shrugged.  "Whatever suits you."  He sat down and pulled out a kimbab roll.  

Over time, I found myself beginning to grow closer to Junhyung.  The quiet kingka would sometimes pop out of nowhere and sit quietly on the bleachers, staring into the distance as I read my novels beside him.  A few times, I would come across a few funny phrases and say them out loud, which Junhyung would chuckle and call me “pabo-yah”.  I knew he only meant this as a joke, and that he didn’t mean it literally.

One day, things changed completely.  It was late August, where the second term was about to start, and I walked past classroom 2-A to hear a chorus of, “Congratulations on becoming a couple!”  It wasn’t until lunchtime that Junhyung walked over to me and said, “Doojoon’s going out with Kwon Heeyoung.”

...What?

It felt as if someone had taken my heart, and then squeezed it until there was no oxygen left.  My bloodflow stopped, and my expression became hollow.  When I finally found my voice again, it was monotonous.  “A-Ah…c-chincha?  T-Then I should go c-congrat-tulate t-them…” 

That was my escape, my refuge as I quietly jumped off the benches and left towards the school, hoping that Junhyung would not see my reddening eyes.  Once into the school, I darted left and right until I came to the corridor that we had last stood in.  I gulped.

Why did my feet take me here?

I was about to turn back when I spotted Doojoon walking in the hallway across from me.  He was staring straight ahead and appeared to not have noticed my arrival.  A lump formed in my throat and I fought the urge to run away.  I took a step forward.  “Doo—”

“Oppa, there you are!”

Kwon Heeyoung popped her head around a corner and came flying at Doojoon, purposely latching onto his right arm and thus shielding me from view.  “I bought a new lip gloss, do you like it?”  She batted her eyelashes while tightening the grip on his bicep. 

“I-It’s nice,” I heard Doojoon mutter back, and he started to walk away again.  Heeyoung shot me a triumphant smirk from across the adjoining halls.  He’s mine, got it bookworm?  she mouthed with a silent snicker, and flounced away.                      

Needless to say, I reverted back to the old and emotionless Yoon Suah.  I flung myself into my books and studies in order to numb the constant heartache I felt every time when Heeyoung threw herself at Doojoon and he did nothing to stop her.  He doesn’t even glance at me anymore, and if he did, he immediately turned away.

Junhyung tried to cheer me up once, but it didn’t do much help.  I had fallen too deep, and now I was paying for the consequences. 

One day, I found a small note attached to my book bag.  It read:

12 o’clock.  Sunday.  Meet me at the school entrance gates.  I promise you won’t regret it.  –Junhyung                   

I stowed the note into my skirt pocket.  Once I got home, I took it out again and stared at the neat handwriting.  What does Junhyung possibly mean by ‘regret’?  I wondered as I got out my pajamas and slipped into bed.  Sunday was tomorrow, but I had a gut feeling it wasn’t about to be good.

That day, I dressed rather plainly in a dark hoodie and jeans, and met up Junhyung at the designated location.  He took me by the arm and said, “Follow me.”

We ended up going around the neighbourhood, browsing through shops and street markets.  Junhyung displayed a rather humourous personality during the trip, and I found myself laughing more than once at his witty jokes.  Seeing a positive change in my previous gloomy self, Junhyung broke into a rare full smile. 

“Your laughter sounds really nice, you should laugh more often.”

I immediately shut up after hearing that phrase.  It was worded differently, but they still brought back painful memories of the person who said that to me first.  Changing the subject, I tugged Junhyung away to another place, ignoring the lingering stabs of the invisible scars in my heart. 

Our adventure eventually took us to another high school, where they were having their annual summer festival.  Along that, there were many other activities that the two of us participated in.  Junhyung won all his games, while I failed miserably one after the other. 

“Last question: who was the author that wrote ‘Pride and Prejudice’?”  The host asked Junhyung at the trivial stands where he was currently playing at, and he blanched.  “Aish, I don’t read those sappy romance books,” Junhyung muttered under his breath, ready to give up when I interrupted.  “Jane Austen!” 

“Correct!  You guys win two coupons good for a free ice cream at our nearby stands!”  The host said, handing both of us blue slips and ushering us to the other booth.  Junhyung and I looked at each other, and burst out laughing. 

“Jane Austen, who would’ve thought?” Junhyung said.   We finished our cold treats and now were heading back home.  I shrugged.  “I read it once, but the plot resembles so much like the Korean dramas on TV.  It’s so predictable as to what will happen next.”

Soon, we reached the front of my apartment.  “Thanks for taking me to all these places today.  I appreciate it.”  I bowed my head gratefully at his kind gesture.  Junhyung chuckled quietly.  “No problem.” 

He leaned in, and I froze.  No, this is not happening, my mind screamed at me when his face got closer.  Flashbacks of Doojoon smiling at me and his gentle brown orbs suddently overflowed my thoughts.  Why was he appearing now?  Why must he torture my feelings so?

I squeezed my eyes shut, waiting for it to end. 

Nothing. 

I slowly blinked my eyes open to see Junhyung retreat away from me.  He sighed, and then managed a small smile.  “See you tomorrow, Suah-yah.”  He patted my head, and disappeared around the corner.

Now, if you thought Junhyung’s and mine’s relationship had collapsed due to that, you were wrong there.  He realized that I could never reciprocate his feelings, so he got over it and we became really good friends instead.  Doojoon on the other hand, took longer to realize his feelings.  Apparently of what Kikwang had told me, after we had finally became friends at the end of year two, was that Junhyung personally confronted Doojoon and smacked some sense into him for ‘being a coward and not chasing after the person he truly loves’.