Anna intended to go to work today, she tried hard to fall asleep but her biological clock was pretty much ruined. She even slept through the alarm she had set last night. By the time she was awake, the sun was almost halfway through the sky. 

Showers were the most calming, therapeutic sessions that Anna could enjoy. She cleansed herself throughout, washing her hair, possibly rinsing away some of the pain. Anna needed to get herself together before going back to work. Perhaps she should take one more day just for herself.

As she was blowdrying her hair, Anna received a text on her phone. It was from her co-worker, Luhan. He had given up on calling her and resorted to text. He sent her a mere “YAH!” which would mean anything from ‘why are you not here. again. today’ to ‘I’m doing more work because of you absent ’ or even ‘call me back you brat.’ Regardless of which, Anna didn’t feel the obligation to respond to his text. Especially when he kept using banmal against her. She swore she was older than he was but he always insisted otherwise. 

There were knocks on her door that she noticed only after turning off her hairdryer. She rushed to the door, thinking it was Luhan. Because “YAH!” could also mean, ‘I’m outside, I know you’re in there. Why are you not answering?!?’

Anna rushed to swing her door open. She looked straight expected to see a very annoyed blonde young man. Instead, she was met by a blue tee. Anna noticed the duffel bag the man was carrying. Her eyes travelled up to his face. She blinked her eyes in disbelief.

“Bree?” it was hoarser than she’s remembered but unmistakable, telling her that she wasn’t just seeing things. His seemed really tired, his face pale but sporting a ridiculously large grin.

“Huang Zitao!” asking his name in full, Anna was bewildered. Even if.. even if he were alive, how did this man get all the way to Seoul, how on earth did he find her and god, why on earth was he here. 

Tao dropped his duffel bag, it was the second door he’d knock at the apartment. When an elderly grandmother answered the door, he was shattered until he realized that he was on the wrong floor. Tao double checked, triple checked so that he won’t be mistaken again. He knocked, unaware of the doorbell to his right, heart pounding in excitement because could finally see Bree.

He pulled her in and held her in his arms, closing his eyes, breathing in the scent of her shampoo. “Surprise.” Instantly, the weight of the world was lifted off his shoulders. He felt foolish how he hadn’t realize it earlier.

“Tao.” her voice strained and sharp. Anna wanted to be angry, she wanted an explanation, Anna wanted to kill him for letting her believe he was gone, Anna wanted so many things that she didn’t know what she wanted. 

He felt the tension in her shoulders and pulled her in tighter, “Bree, I’m sorry.” he pulled her head into his chest as he sighed. 

Words won’t come out from because her heart felt something else. Anna wrapped her arms around his back. The heaviness in her heart felt densed but she was beginning to feel happy as well. “Zitao..” holding back the tears, she felt herself fluttering. “Huang..Zitao” she stammered through his name. 

Tao hushed her, guilt was finally kicking in. He hadn’t thought this far, he hadn’t counted on her to be so upset. “I’m here now, I’m not leaving I promise.” he wanted to assure her before he relayed to her why he came.

Anna found herself slowly smiling, she had never held him before. Only now did she know how much of a privilege it was to be holding someone she cared about in her very arms. There was not a single gap between them, it was not desire but pure happiness, relief.

When she was calmer, she pulled away slowly, perhaps awkwardly. She had never held him before. Anna stared at the bag that he had with him, giving him a questioning look. “What’s that?”

“You’re alone right?” he smiled sheepishly “Let me stay for a bit.” Anna, Anna was in no position to deny him. She hadn’t the heart.

Tao lifted his bag off the floor and let himself in. He relished in the moment, taking in the sight of how she had been living. He tried his best not to laugh at the mess her kitchen was in, he faked a cough trying to cover his smile.

“I guess you could sleep here.” Anna opened the door to a rather empty room, sheets tucked cleanly with bare walls. He dropped his bag at the corner of the door.

“Is that where you sleep.” motioning to the door that was ajar.

Yes. Anna stayed silent.

“Can’t we share?” he took a step towards her, closing the distance.

“I..” a certain uneasiness crept in. Anna looked him in the eyes, trying to figure out if he was only teasing.

“You know, that night..” he scoffed, “I really, really thought I wanted to die. It was weird.” Tao’s gaze is different, Anna noticed. “I didn’t know why, I needed to hear your voice so bad. I didn’t know why I was smiling to myself like a fool 20 stories in the sky. I didn’t know why I was so upset to know I’d never hear your voice again. That someone else was going to be lucky enough to hear it every single day of his life.”

Tao held both her hands in his. “I dropped my phone, I know it sounds stupid but.. I’m really sorry. I can’t explain what’s been going through my mind these few days. I only knew, I needed to see you. Your SNS was pretty handy, I went to your office. I thought you’d be at work but they said you hadn’t been in for three days. I’m a jerk, aren’t I?”

Anna took it all in, she had been crying herself away for three nights for no god damned reason, was that it? She should be shouting at him, hurting him, screaming.. right?

“Bree..” he leaned in, lowering his voice “the moment I saw you, I knew. Why, like some crazy maniac I came all the way to a foreign country. It took me so long to open my eyes, to appreciate you, to stop being delusional, believing that my heart was broken and there was always you to fix it. I’m sorry that I only realize now that I love you.” the last bit came out as a whisper. 

Then he kissed her.