PART VI

20 June 2013

4.15pm

Tablo’s Recording Studio

 

Chaerin arrived at Tablo’s recording studio and was greeted by Youngbae’s eye smile. She returned the smile with one of her own. And when Youngbae opened his arms, she gave him a quick hug and moved away quickly. Youngbae looked at her with a raised eyebrow. Usually when they hug, it wasn’t this brief. She just shook her head and smiled then turned her attention to Tablo who was observing them.

 

“Tablo oppa, annyeong~ Thank you again for helping us with this track.”

 

“It’s my pleasure! I love working with you, Chaerin ah! Come and feature in my next song ok? I need a female vocal for this track I’m working on.”

 

“If it’s vocals you are looking for, shouldn’t it be Bommie unnie?”

 

“She did the featuring the last time. No, I want something richer and stronger, a voice that can ground the track. You are perfect for it!”

 

“Sure, if you think it’s a good match for your song, I’d do it anytime. Shall we get started on Youngbae oppa’s song?”

 

With that, she walked into the recording studio to get ready.

 

“Did she just call you ‘Youngbae oppa’? What happened to ‘Bae oppa’?”

 

“Ji made his move, I guess she’s just putting the appropriate distance between her and the army of oppas she has.”

 

“Ah I see. Smart girl. He’s coming for the recording later so it’s a good thing that she’s keeping her distance. I don’t want him to tear down the studio.”

 

Youngbae smiled at Tablo’s statement but inside he was feeling a little upset. He didn’t want to be ‘Youngbae oppa’, it just sounds weird when she had been calling him ‘Bae oppa’. It took a long time for her to move him from ‘Youngbae oppa’ to ‘Bae oppa’. And all it took was Jiyong confessing his feelings to her to put him back to ‘Youngbae oppa’ status. He walked into the recording studio and without warning, held Chaerin’s hand. Chaerin was shocked and tried to remove her hand from his.

 

“Chaerin ah, I don’t like it when you put distance between us. I know that Jiyong had told you about his feelings towards you and I can understand why you are doing this. But don’t you realize that you are hurting me too? And what’s with ‘Youngbae oppa’? Don’t do that, please?”

 

Chaerin was about to argue when she saw the pain in Youngbae’s eyes too. She had to blink twice and check to make sure. She closed her eyes and shook her head.

 

Oh my...

Don’t tell me Bae oppa likes me too...

 

She opened her eyes and looked at Youngbae straight in the eye.

 

“Bae oppa, be honest with me. Do you like me too? Like how Jiyong oppa likes me?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“But...”

 

“Don’t worry, I won’t pressure you. You are free to make your choice. Even if you choose Jiyong in the end, I will continue to stay by your side as your oppa. As long as you are happy, I’m happy.”

 

“But how can I when my choice might break your friendship?”

 

“It won’t. Because I know who you would choose in the end. And I’m getting myself ready to face that. But I’m not ready for you to distance yourself from me, do you understand?”

 

“Babo Bae oppa... Why would you want to put yourself through this?”

 

“Because not being by your side is not an option. So, till I find my lady, just let me stay near?”

 

Chaerin moved and gave Youngbae a tight hug. Youngbae held on to her tight as well. When he felt her loosening her hold on him, he stepped back but not before kissing her on the forehead.

 

Chaerin ah...

Please be happy...

 

Chaerin was shocked but she didn’t stop him. When she finally stepped back enough to look at Youngbae again, she saw that he had tears in his eyes. And that made her tear up as well.

 

“Bae oppa... Don’t... I will still be here and I have not made my decision yet.”

 

“Come here...”

 

Youngbae pulled Chaerin into a hug again and just held her.

 

“I’m ok. Just promise you won’t distance yourself from me, ok?”

 

Chaerin nodded in his embrace. After another minute, he released her and wiped away the tears on her face.

 

“I would never want to make you cry, and I definitely do not want to have to wipe away your tears. If you ever cry because of Jiyong, I will punch his face.”

 

“Please don’t. He still has his world tour. And I believe in him. I don’t think he would hurt me intentionally. Let’s get started on the recording ok?”

 

Chaerin moved away from him to calm herself down and to wipe away her tears. She took a few deep breaths and then walked back to Youngbae’s side and voluntarily held his hand.

 

Youngbae was surprised by her move but when he saw her smile, he knew that everything was alright between them again.

 

“Can we start? Chaerin ah, I will play the song from the beginning. If you think there’s any part in the beginning you would like to do a re-recording of, let me know.”

 

Tablo had seen the exchange between Youngbae and Chaerin in the recording studio. In that brief exchange so much was said without words. Love, Unrequited Love and Friendship dancing a 3-way waltz that would end with one of them walking away. Tablo was glad it was Love that walked away while Unrequited Love and Friendship remained.

 

Chaerin gave a thumbs up and then held on to Youngbae’s hand a little tighter. The two of them mouthed the words together while looking into each other’s eyes. When it came to the chorus, Chaerin started singing.

 

CL:

The thought of it makes my heart flutter.
I’ll try to do every one a day with you.
I’m so happy to be with you.
I’m so happy we both are together.
You’re a real treasure to me.
Baby baby baby baby boo

At the end of the chorus, Tablo paused the music and spoke through the intercom.

“Chaerin ah, can we take it back to when you are listing out the various event? The mood didn’t quite match the chorus. You sounded a little sad at the chorus today. So let’s have you listing out the various events to get you into the mood. Bae, help her along.”

 

“Tablo oppa, let’s just take it from the beginning. We’ll see if it would be a better version than what we already have.”

 

“Ok! Ready? Go~”

 

The music started playing again and Chaerin thought of what Jiyong said to her in the car and that brought a sweet smile on her face. In that moment, she transformed into a girl who has fallen in love.

 

CL:

If I have a boyfriend, there’ll be so many things I want to do.

I’ve dream I have a boyfriend like that.

 

The first, kissing him in the street.

The kiss in the car with Jiyong oppa count too right?

The second, catching the early train for Chooncheon with him.

Although it was a car ride, but it was a long car ride from my parents' early in the morning.

The third, going on a picnic with him.

Does the breakfast at the rooftop count?

The fourth, the piggy back ride.

The fifth, couple-ring is basic to our love.

Would we ever get to this stage?

Couple rings?

Boo Boo Boo, it would be really sweet.

 

Tablo paused the music and played what they had just recorded. When it ended, he said through the intercom.

 

“Chaerin, that was much better don’t you think? It really felt like you are in love. Listen to it.”

 

Tablo played the song again and it did really sound like she was a girl in love describing those things she wanted to do if she ever have a boyfriend. Chaerin gave Tablo the thumbs up, then said they should continue with the chorus. She turned to Youngbae and whispered in his ears.

 

“Bae oppa, I want you to hug me from behind.”

 

“Are you sure that’s alright? Tablo hyung mentioned that Jiyong is going to be here.”

 

“He knows. I told him already.”

 

“Even so, it’s not going to sit well with him. Let’s not play with fire alright? I don’t want to put you in a difficult position.”

 

“Alright then~ Tablo oppa, let’s do the chorus?”

 

Tablo gave the thumbs up and the music started playing from the top. Again, the two of them sang along silently. When it came to the chorus, Chaerin once again held Youngbae’s hand but this time, she intertwined her fingers with his and shifted so she could look him in the eyes.

 

CL:

The thought of it makes my heart flutter.
I’ll try to do every one a day with you.
I’m so happy to be with you.
I’m so happy we both are together.
You’re a real treasure to me.
Baby baby baby baby boo

Youngbae got ready for his part and he held her other hand in his and gave her a beautiful eye smile.

YB:
If I have a girlfriend, there’ll be so many things I also want to do.
I’ve always envied another’s girlfriend.

The sixth, I’ll go to late night movies with you.
The seventh, I’ll go to amusement parks with you.
The eighth, I’ll hold a surprise event for you.
Boo boo boo I’ll be really happy because of you.

At the end of the verse, Youngbae seemed to have gotten into the flow of the song and pulled Chaerin a little closer to him. He placed his hands on her waist and the two of them stood close to each other. They looked as if they were in their own world.

 

Just the two of them.

YB:

The thought of it makes my heart flutter.

I’ll try to do every one a day with you.

I’m so happy to be with you.

I’m so happy we both are together.

You’re a real treasure to me.

Baby baby baby baby boo~

 

I’ve been alone on my birthday.

Nope, I had you with me this year.

I’ve had nothing to do on the weekend.

Not when you’re with me.

But I’m eagerly looking forward to such named days.

Now, I look forward to every single day, as long as I get to spend it with you.

 

CL:

I’m so happy to be with you.

I’m so happy we both are together.

 

YB&CL:

Wherever we are,

Whatever we do,

 

YB:

I really want us to be one

 

YB&CL:

Everyday what I really try to do with you, is to tell you, “I love you.”

What I really want to hear from you is such a word, “I love you”

Thank you for coming to me.

I’m so happy to be with you.

You are my only love.

Baby baby baby baby boo~

Baby baby baby baby boo~

 

By the end of the song, Youngbae’s arms were around Chaerin’s waist and hers were around his. As they sang the last line of the song together, Youngbae leaned in towards Chaerin’s face and she closed her eyes. Just as his lips were about to touch hers, they were stopped by a roaring voice.

 

“DONG YOUNGBAE, GET YOUR HANDS AND FACE AWAY FROM MY GIRL!!!!”

 

Still caught up in their moment, Youngbae and Chaerin didn’t react immediately to the voice they just heard. They just knew that there was someone shouting but they had yet to realize that it was that of a fuming dragon. Youngbae moved his hands to cup her face and then gave her a kiss on her forehead.

 

“What should I do? I really don’t think I can let you go to Jiyong just like that.”

 

“Why can’t we just keep it status quo and just go on as we had before?”

 

“It’s not possible, Chaerin ah. As much as I want that to happen, you know that it would be different.”

 

“But I don’t want it to be different!!”

 

“Shhh...”

 

Youngbae just held her in his arms, trying to soothe her at the same time comfort his own heart.

 

Outside the recording studio, Jiyong was trying to get out of Xin’s hold on him. He had come into the studio when Youngbae started his part but since they were just holding hands, he didn’t think too much of it. But as the song progressed, he could literally feel the two of them retreating into their own world. The uneasiness he felt was suffocating.

 

When he saw them hugging each other towards the end of the song, he almost called a stop to the recording but was stopped by Tablo. He tried to stay calm because subconsciously he knew that it was for the effect of the song. If he was seeing it from a producer’s point of view, he would admit the song sounded really good with the right emotions.

 

But from the point of view of a guy who’s in love with the female lead, he couldn’t handle the onslaught of emotions. The last straw came when he saw Youngbae leaning down, almost kissing Chaerin. He disregarded Tablo’s warning look and hit the intercom to stop them. Although he managed to stop the kiss from happening, it didn’t bring them back to reality immediately. He would never admit but seeing Chaerin with her arms tightly around Youngbae scared the living daylight out of him. He wanted to look away but he couldn’t. There was something about the air around them that drew him in, like a moth to fire.

 

“Youngbae, Chaerin, that was a good take. Let’s take five.”

 

Only when Tablo’s voice rang through the intercom did the two main characters of the love song pull back from each other a little and acknowledge the world around them. Their eyes were still on each other though.

 

“Jiyong, do you want to go out for a while and calm down first?”

 

Xin was concerned. He knew that Jiyong was really affected. Truth be told, even he was affected. There was something in there. It wasn’t simply 2 person trying to portray the feelings of a song. This just made things complicated. Previously when Xin saw their recording, he saw the closeness but today, it was something entirely different.

 

When Jiyong turned to look at Xin, there was tears in his eyes. The fear that sat heavily in his heart had a strong grip. He wanted to cry, he wanted to shout but nothing was coming out.

 

“Let’s go out for a minute, ok?”

 

Jiyong shook his head then said very very softly.

 

“Seungho, please, just...”

 

Xin knew what he was asking of him. He nodded and walked into the recording studio. He approached the two of them and then laid a hand on Youngbae.

 

“Youngbae, you have to let go of Chaerin right now. Jiyong is close to a break-down. You don’t want him in a bad shape when he has to depart for his Malaysia concert with you tomorrow.”

 

He turned to Chaerin and held onto her arm.

 

“Chaerin ah, let go of Youngbae now.”

 

Chaerin shook her head. She didn’t really want to let go. She didn’t know what came over her. Perhaps it was the fear of the unknown with Jiyong that prompted this reluctance to step out of the comfort zone.

 

Youngbae loosened his hold on Chaerin but she held on tighter. He looked towards the window and saw Jiyong's eyes and clenched fists. He tucked her hair behind her ears then leaned in to whisper to her.

 

"Chaerin ah, you need to let go of me now. I'm right here beside you. No one can take me away from you, ok? I promise. And your Jiyong oppa needs you right now."

 

Hearing Jiyong's name from Youngbae’s mouth seemed to break the spell. Chaerin took a step back and looked over at the window. When her eyes met Jiyong's pleading ones, she took a step towards the door of the recording studio but almost fell. Youngbae caught her in time but without a second look at him, she walked towards the door again.

 

The moment Jiyong met Chaerin's eyes and saw her move towards the door, he moved too. When Chaerin opened the door of the recording studio, he stood there waiting. Chaerin hesitated but only for a second before running into Jiyong's arms. The fear that had its manacles around his heart fell off.

 

"Chaerin..."

 

"Oppa..."

 

Jiyong held on to Chaerin tight, like he wanted to be melded into one with her. He kissed her cheeks and then her forehead. He stepped back and captured her lips with his. He wanted to mark her as his, erasing any marks that Youngbae might have put on her.

 

Chaerin recovered from her shock and moved her lips tentatively. Jiyong held on to her head and tried to deepen the kiss but the not-so-discreet 'ahem' coming from Tablo stopped him. He suddenly recalled that they were at Tablo's studio and they were behaving inappropriately.

 

Jiyong moved his head back but held on to Chaerin with his arm round her waist. Chaerin looked up at him, all confused at why Jiyong pulled back suddenly. That made Jiyong smile and have her a quick peck on the lips.

 

"Well, that was quite a roller-coaster ride."

 

The moment Tablo spoke, Chaerin remembered where she was. She took a quick glance at Tablo who smiled and winked at her, causing her to blush.

 

"Tablo oppa...I'm sorry..."

 

"No apologies needed. Good news is we have most of the song. Bad news is the last part didn't record as well as I hope it would be. So we will definitely have to do that again."

 

"Oh, alright. Do you want us to do that now?"

 

Tablo looked at Jiyong and then at Chaerin before looking at Youngbae who was still in the recording studio with Xin and he knew to let Chaerin walk into the recording studio back to Youngbae would be like pulling the key out of the grenade named Kwon Jiyong.

 

"Chaerin ah, why don't you take a break while we re-do Youngbae's chorus?"

 

Tablo went to the intercom and spoke into it, getting Youngbae's attention.

 

"Bae, let's work on your chorus. Let me know when you are ready."

 

Xin got up from where he was sitting beside Youngbae and got ready to leave the recording studio. But before he left, his parting words was the wake-up call Youngbae needed.

 

"Bae, we all know Chaerin will always run to Jiyong first. Don't put yourself in the position where you are going to be hurt over and over again. Stand beside her but don't put yourself between her and Jiyong. She can take care of herself when it comes to Jiyong. I can say that now because I saw how much he was suffering just looking at the two of you just now. So she definitely means more to him now than before."

 

Youngbae nodded. He knew that Xin was right. He knew in his head but his heart didn't want to listen to his head yet and there was nothing he could do about it.

 

Standing in front of the microphone, he could see that Chaerin was seated very close to Jiyong on the sofa and he had his arm protectively around her shoulders. He was just watching her talk animatedly with a smile on his face and the occasional laugh when she mentioned something funny or simply because she was so cute when she laughed at her own jokes. Xin had left the studio after saying goodbye to Jiyong and Chaerin.

 

Youngbae smiled even though his heart hurt.

 

She forgot that she was in my arms, not wanting to let go not more than 10 minutes ago.

 

But he knew he would never be able to be angry at her, not when it came to Jiyong. Because he knew they belonged together. Just that, at times, he secretly wished that she would look at him and hold on to him like she did just now.

 

He took a deep breath and spoke to Tablo.

 

“Blo hyung, can we do it from the beginning of my part?”

 

“Sure.”

 

Chaerin’s chorus played and she took her attention away from Jiyong to listen to her part. It was really good and she grinned. But the moment Youngbae’s voice started singing his part, the grin slipped bit by bit. She got up from the sofa and moved to the window so she could see Youngbae.

When Youngbae saw her at the window, he smiled and then continued with his part. Although he knew that the things he was listing would never come true with Chaerin, he remembered the feeling of holding her in his arms just now.

 

That’s good enough.

It had to be good enough.

Because I would not get more than that.

 

Youngbae ended the song without a glitch. During that time, he never broke eye contact with Chaerin even once. At the end, he winked at her and grinned. Tablo played the song and it sounded good.

 

“Bae, you did great! That’s it for your part. I have to go off soon, so Chaerin, can we do the harmonization with Youngbae another day, when both of you are back in Korea next week?”

 

“But Tablo oppa, we are going to be filming our Music Video next week then I’m flying off to Singapore early with Seungho oppa and Soo Hyuk oppa.”

 

“It’s ok Chaerin, I can wait. We are not going to release my album till after Jiyong’s anyway. I don’t want you to tire yourself out too. If this cannot be completed in time, we just won’t include it in my album this time round.”

 

“But Bae oppa, you really wanted this song to be in your album.”

 

“I still do, but don’t worry about it. We still have enough time.”

 

Youngbae patted Chaerin on her head.

 

“Thank you for coming to work on it today. We did great! Now you are free to go on your date with Jiyong.”

 

Chaerin looked at Youngbae and saw the hint of pain in his eyes but he shook his head to reassure her that it was alright. Chaerin gave Youngbae a quick hug then started packing her things.

 

“Ji, where are you bringing Chaerin?”

 

“She said she was going to cook for me at my apartment.”

 

“Was that why you were grinning like a fool when you came out from the dance studio this morning?”

 

Jiyong nodded and then held Chaerin’s hand and took her bag from her.

 

“Blo hyung, we’ll make a move first.”

 

“Tablo oppa, thank you~ See you soon!”

 

“Have a good date!”

 

Jiyong and Chaerin left the studio. The moment they left, Youngbae sat down harshly on the sofa. Watching them walk out of the studio and having to pretend that he was alright with it had sapped him of all his strength. Tablo walked over and put his hand on his shoulder. Youngbae looked up and gave him a sad smile.

 

“Hyung, Is this why people say love is painful?”

 

“Bae ah, you know inside that this was a lost cause. Chaerin is Jiyong’s, it’s something we all quietly acknowledged. So, don’t put yourself in the path of self-destruction.”

 

“You said the same thing as Seungho.”

 

“Because it’s the truth. Seungho would have made a move on her if he knew that he wasn’t going to kill himself trying. Same thing goes for Soo Hyuk.”

 

Youngbae was about to respond when his phone rang. He took his phone out of his pocket and frowned when he saw Chaerin’s name on the screen. Without hesitation, he slid his finger across the screen to answer the call.

 

“Chae...”

 

“Kiko unnie, it’s been a while. How have you been?”

 

Youngbae got up from the sofa and left the studio without another word. That was Chaerin’s call for help and he wasn’t going to let her fall.

 

Seeing how Youngbae rushed off after getting the call from Chaerin, Tablo shook his head. He got up to make his way out of the studio, heading towards the lobby in case he needed to provide assistance in any way. Something told him that this wasn’t going to end well.

At least not for Jiyong.