Loss and Gain - Hoya (INFINITE) and Eunji (Apink)

“1, 2, 3, 4, jump, 6, turn, 8, stop!”

Only ragged breaths of 30 youths can be heard in the large studio, each sweating profusely and standing as still as they could. When the instructor gave one loud clap, they all collapsed to the ground, glad that another day of practice was over.

“Howon-hyung!” Sehun called out. “Wanna go with us to have some rice cake?”

The boy with canine teeth smiled and shook his head. “You guys go, I’ll follow y’all tomorrow!” He swung his backpack over his shoulder and walked up the stairs. The cold air of autumn night hit his face and he shivered a little. ‘Fall was never this cold’, he thought. Howon took out his purple headphones and blasted the hip-hop song he was dancing to 20 minutes prior. He closed his eyes and envisioned the already familiar dance steps in his head, thinking about every single step and how to execute them properly.

Howon is a great dancer, an extremely talented one at that, and often had mini dance battles with Jongin from his dance class (who was almost as equally talented as Howon was). He always thought that he was born to dance, and would be happy if he died on stage dancing. He had a hard time convincing his parents to let him pursue his dream, but succeeded nonetheless. Dance was his life, and he could never find anything else more beautiful than expressing your emotions through movements accompanied by music.

Howon was so engrossed in his thoughts that he did not realise a speeding motorcycle that was turning in on his right. When he finally realised that his life was in danger, it was too late. His leg was already out on the road. His heartbeat accelerated with every passing millisecond and the only thing he thought of was to protect his limbs. There was no way he was going to allow his limbs to get hurt. There was simply no way he was going to live his life being unable to dance until he died. The motorcycle, however, was too fast for him to dodge. Howon managed to protect his torso all right, but the vehicle mercilessly hit his legs and he flew meter or two and landed with a loud thud.

“Ack! AHH!” The poor dancer screamed in pain. He clutched onto his thigh, completely mortified by the warmth of his blood. Tears streamed down his face like two waterfalls, and he continued in pain while praying for help. Howon sobbed and gasped in pain, screaming and shouting while blood continued to flow out of his right leg. Pain came from his thigh, his knee, his calf and his ankle.

‘No… not the joints… not the joints… I cannot injure the joints… no…’ Howon thought as his trembling hands ran down his leg, only to shout in agony when a sharp pain could be felt. After what it felt like hours, a passer-by helped him back onto the sidewalk and called for the ambulance immediately.

“Please… save my leg… save…” He was overcome by pain and fainted on the ambulance.

Large eyes stared at Howon’s body being pushed into the emergency room by a stretcher in the hospital. She was never a fan of blood, and she prayed that the boy on the stretcher would go through a successful operation.

“Jung Eunji! Where were you! You’re injured so you shouldn’t wander around, which part of that do you not understand?!” A lady in her thirties called out to the girl – Eunji. She rolled her eyes and limped back to her ward. ‘Mothers…’

Howon could vaguely recognise the smell of disinfectant and beeping when he regained consciousness. He fought his eyes opened, only to see his mother with a worried expression planted on her face. Her eyes were puffy and swollen; an evidence that she had cried. Memories of the horrible night flooded back to him, and he looked down at his leg, wrapped up nicely in a white cast. He could feel the bandage around his thigh and calves as well. Howon’s eyes widened, with tears filling his dark orbs. Howon opened his mouth, wanting to say something, but only croaks could be heard. His breathing became unstable, and was on the verge of breaking down.

“Mum… This isn’t happening is it?” Howon asked, sobbing. “My legs are fine right? I can still dance right?” His hands were trembling, and before long tearful cries and painful sobs could be heard from the ward. Shouts of disbelief, hysterical screams, punching, Howon did everything he could to vent his frustration, his anger.

“WHY?! WHY MUST I GET INJURED?! WHY MUST THIS HAPPEN TO ME WHY?! WHY!” The helpless patient screamed, throat becoming hoarse. The doctors rushed in upon hearing the commotion and plunged a syringe into his arm and he slowly slipped into unconsciousness. Screams turned to sobs, sobs turned to whispers, and the ward became quiet in a few seconds, save the sobbing of the poor mother.

As the doctors walked out, they saw Eunji who was shocked by the scene that she had witnessed. A single tear fell from her eye as she looked at the boy on the hospital bed. She slowly walked towards her bed beside Howon’s. She stole a quick glance at Howon, praying that he would be able to recover.

‘Feeling the pain of losing something precious to you, no one really deserves that.’ She thought as she climbed onto her bed.

At night, when Howon finally woke up, he gripped his blanket tightly. He started trembling again, unable to accept the fact that his leg was injured, wrapped up in a cast. He refused to accept the fact that he, who was born to dance, would not be able to chase his dreams ever again. He was only 14, but why was life so cruel to him?

Before he could continue falling deeper into the hole of despair, he turned to his left. He saw a girl with long black hair sitting up reading a book (that he recognized because he read it before). The girl turned to look at him, and Howon’s cheeks turned pink. He was thankful that the ward was dimly lit, so she wouldn’t see his face. The girl was expressionless, not because she was an apathetic person, but because she did not know what emotions to show. Sympathy? No, she knew that he wouldn’t want that. Happiness? How could she smile when she witnessed how crushed he was just a few hours prior? Sadness? That’s the same as sympathy.

Howon studied her features in the dim light. She had rather tough features and did not seem like the kind he wanted to get close to. Her eyes seemed fierce, and for a moment Howon forgot about his current physical situation.

The girl took out a notebook from their shared cabinet and wrote something before passing it to him. Howon tried his best to sit up and took the book from her hands.

Hello.

Howon bowed awkwardly and asked what her name was. She took the notebook back and scribbled something on it.

Jung Eunji.

Howon raised an eyebrow and asked, “You can’t talk?”

I lost my voice.

Upon realizing his mistake, he quickly apologized to which she dismissed.

It’s alright. Sleep now, if you want a speedy recovery.

Their conversation ended there as she prepared to sleep as well.

The next morning, Howon’s mother carefully explained the extent of his injury. He injured his ligament at his right ankle and his shin had a mild fracture, but thankfully the operation was successful. He may not be able to dance for almost a year, but if he goes for physiotherapy and takes care of his leg well, he might be able to continue his hobby – his life, he retorted – again. His physiotherapy only begins the next day, and he doesn’t know what else to do. Just as he was about to cry of boredom, Eunji limped into the room with a lollipop on her hand.

She dropped a few pieces of candy on Hoya’s lap and hopped onto her bed. She continued staring at him with her fierce eyes, not forgetting to blink once in a while in case she really scares him. Howon smiled awkwardly and popped one of the candies into his mouth, letting the sweet taste of strawberry take away his pain for a moment.

The ward was awfully quiet, so Howon spoke first. He hated awkward silences anyway. “So, what are your hobbies?”

Eunji took out the notebook and scribbled her reply down.

You didn’t get that from a book of ‘how to start a conversation’ did you?

“F-fine! Be that way!” Howon tossed the book back onto her lap.

Just kidding, writing it out doesn’t have the same effect as saying it out huh?

Howon realised that he always reacted wrongly and fought the urge to slap himself. “I’m sorry, I-I mean…”

Nah, it’s alright. I like singing, singing, singing, and maybe sneaking out to taekwondo classes.

Howon looked up from the notebook and asked, “You sing well?”

I guess so. I used to give free lessons to my friends.

“Wow you must be really good then!” Howon exclaimed. When he was in elementary school, he would also give lessons to his classmates. It was then he started realizing that dance was his dream, and convinced his parents to let him take up lessons.

You? You like dancing?

Howon leaned back. “Yeah. Dance is basically my life. I’m not surprised if I learned to dance before walking. I’m happy that I discovered my dream at a young age.”

Well, I hope you recover quickly. ^^

Howon chuckled. “I hope you recover quickly too. Why can’t you talk?” After he asked, he realised his mistake and blamed it for his immature brain. He was only 14.

Same as you. Car accident.

“Stupid motorists, why can’t they drive safely?!” Howon grumbled.

Because they are stupid.

Howon exhaled deeply before asking, “When can you recover? It’s not lost entirely is it?”

Eunji’s fierce eyes suddenly became sad, almost pitiful. I don’t know. I can barely make a sound now.

“Why aren’t they doing anything to help?” Howon asked. Since she loved singing, losing her voice must be just as painful as him losing his legs. It was absolutely terrifying to lose the most precious thing to you. For him it was his legs. For her, it was her voice. He was never so curious about someone’s voice ever.

It’s not like they aren’t doing anything to help. It’s already a miracle I survived, my voice is a hopeless case.

“What about surgery?” Howon asked. ‘There’s got to be a way.’

Less than 20% success, that’s what the doctor said. It’s been months now, I’m getting used to it.

Howon realised how fortunate he was. His right ankle ligament had surgery done and a mild fracture is nothing to a boy his age. The bone will just get stronger when it heals. He just needs to take care of his leg and before long he would be ready to dance again. He may take a while to go back to his current level, but nothing beats natural talent. But for Eunji, it was really over.

Nice meeting you Howon. I’m leaving tonight. Please recover fully and get back on stage alright? I’ll be waiting for a performance. (:

“Will we see each other again?” Howon asked, feeling jittery all of a sudden. He liked Eunji’s company, though she was a little intimidating at first. She was one of the rare people of the opposite gender he felt comfortable with, so seeing her go was a little heart wrenching for the young boy.

Perhaps. I might come back once in a while.

Howon never saw her again, but went ahead with all his physiotherapies and recovered within a few months. He started going back to dance lessons and did what he enjoyed doing most. Not long after, he was scouted by an entertainment company and trained to become an idol. One part of him hoped to see Eunji again by being famous, and the other was to be able to dance on stage and showcase his other talents like rapping. He fought with his parents about it, and promised that he would only return home when he succeeds. His injury was not helping him much, but he persevered through tiring trainings and finally debuted with his group members.

A year after his debut at a fansign event, Howon saw a girl with a familiar looking face holding onto his group’s latest album. Her eyes were softer and rounder, and her face was slightly slimmer. When she placed her album in front of him, he continued studying her features, not caring if it was rude or not. She chuckled and smiled at him.

“Hello Howon. My name is Eunji, Jung Eunji.” She said.

“You –” Howon was speechless. It had been six years since he last saw her, and now she was right in front of his eyes. Eunji had grown from a young gruff teenage girl into a fine young lady, and for a few seconds he felt his heart flutter.

“Please help me write something? Oh and Howon, your dance is really awesome. I’m glad that you have recovered.” Eunji kept her smile on, and Howon swore that it was the next most beautiful thing besides dance. She was much prettier, and he had never noticed that her eyes turn into cute cresents when she smiled. For a moment, he was mesmerised.

“I – Alright.”

After he signed her album, they smiled and parted. The feeling of meeting an old friend lingered longer than it should, but neither minded.

To: Eunji, my friend ♥

Congratulations on getting your voice back. It was lovely. Now sing for the world to hear! Promise we’ll meet again? I have a fansign in Busan tomorrow. P.S You’ve grown to become such a fine lady ㅋㅋ

Lee Howon ^^

Finally back with another drabble!

I was supposed to post all of INFINITE's drabbles at one go starting from Sunggyu to Sungjong but... I miss posting on AFF I couldn't resist. So here's something I found easy to write cos I could kind of relate. I apologise for the really obvious logic flaw here, no one only gets a broken ligament and fractured bone on the shin from an accident, or at least I doubt that those are the only injuries. I'm pretty sure your whole leg gets chopped off from that. -.-

But I wanted to be kinder to Hoya since he didn't do anything wrong to me and I don't want to be that cruel either. Plus, if I really killed his legs my friend would probably make sure I suffer like him in this drabble lol. Anyways, I hope you liked this drabble and it wasn't too boring. I've always liked the Joonhee and Shiwon interactions in Reply 1997 (I'm gonna start on Reply 1994 now ^^), though I ship Joonhee and Yoonje muahaha. It's just that kind of platonic friendship that is so precious and beautiful (the way Shiwon never judged Joonhee about his ual preference and still love him as a friend is *squeal*), and maybe I'll put it here as well. Though I did mention that Eunji's smile momentarily paralysed Hoya for a while, I never had the intention of putting any romantic feelings in this, because I think platonic friendships are beautiful on their own. ^^

Finally, thanks for reading! Please look forward to the next few chapters as they are all gonna be about INFINITE. 7 members are a killer already, imagine if I were to write one for each EXO member. (It's quite tempting though... hmm...)