It’s been 34 hours since I came to China and 32 since I found out about the reason of Victoria’s disappearance. Cancer. Out of all the possible reasons… it was unexpected. And shocking. And I have no idea what I should do.

    I knocked on the door lightly before opening it, not waiting for an answer and just walked in.

    “It’s morning?” I stopped in the middle of the room as Victoria slowly sat up on her bed and rubbed her eyes, still groggy. I gave a smile towards her as I slid open the curtains, letting the morning sun’s rays brighten the room.

    “Morning sunshine.” I smiled as I took a seat next to her bed. She shielded her eyes with a hand and stifled a yawn. She looked around, her face disoriented for a moment before landing her eyes comfortable on mine.

    “Did you leave?” She suddenly asked and stretched out her arms, making faint cracks in her joints. She looked even more fragile than before.

    “No. I stayed here all night.” I said and she only nodded. She then averted her eyes away from mine and kept playing with her fingers. We stayed silent for a moment before she let out a soft sigh.

    “Thank you. For staying.” She suddenly murmured, eyes looking at her hands. “I thought you left.” She looked up back at me, her eyes glassy and almost pained. I had the sudden urge to reach out my hand and her delicate face. But I didn’t. I only smiled weakly at her.

    “I’m here. Don’t worry about it.” Then Zhu Qin, Victoria’s doctor suddenly came in, interrupting our silence.

    “Oh Mr Horvejkul, you’re here too.” I gave her a smile as she walked next to Victoria. “So Qian, how are you doing today?” She asked Victoria in Chinese with a warm motherly smile on her face, deepening the thin creases on her forehead.

    “I’m fine. The fever’s gone now.” Dr. Zhu placed a hand on Victoria’s forehead and nodded.

    “The fever’s gone.” Dr. Zhu agreed.

    “So can I go home now?” Dr. Zhu sighed.

    “Qian, I think it’s best if you stay and get yourself treated more properly.” Victoria opened to protest but Dr. Zhu quickly cut her off. “This is the fifth time this month that you came in with a high fever.” My eyes grew wide as I gaped at Victoria and then and Dr. Zhu and back at Victoria. Fifth time… this month? “You’re lucky your cousin here was with you when you fainted, if not…” Dr. Zhu didn’t finish her sentence because it was obvious what she wanted to say.

    “Wait… cousin?” Victoria turned to look at me, confused and I just shook my head for her to play along with it. She then sighed as she faced Dr. Zhu.  “I don’t want to stay cooped up in a hospital room. I want to go home.” Victoria’s voice was almost pleading and Dr. Zhu sighed again as she placed a hand on top of Victoria’s.

    “Qian, I told you this before, the treatment can still work. Just stay here for a while.”

    “There’s no point. I already tried and nothing has changed.” Victoria squeezed Dr. Zhu’s hand tightly and gave her a weak smile. “I’ll be fine.”

    “Even so, I still think you should stay. Your fever has been attacking unpredictably. Who knows when you’re going to get strike again. Plus, with you living alone… At least if you stay here, you will be under safe observation.” Dr. Zhu reasoned and Victoria knew she was right. Victoria bit her bottom lip and threw a nervous glance towards me and then turned back towards Dr. Zhu. I was still lost trying to piece in their conversation together since they both spoke really fast in Chinese.

    “But I won’t be alone.” Victoria suddenly said as she sneak another glance towards me, making me even more puzzled. “My cousin here,” She placed a hand on my shoulder and continued, “Is staying with me.” Both Dr. Zhu’s and my eyebrow shot up in surprise. Victoria gave me a just-go-with-it look and it took me an extra few seconds to process her words.

    “Is that so?” This time Dr. Zhu spoke in English and she shot me a dubious look. I managed to choke out a weak laugh. “How long are you staying with her?” She asked and I shot Victoria a nervous look.

    “Uh… two,” Victoria ran a hand through her hair and slightly shook her head at me. “Three…” She shook her head again. “Five?” She signalled a yes with her eyes. “Five. Five days.” Victoria faked a cough and shook her head covertly at me again. “Weeks, no months… years?” I was now arguing with Victoria, telepathically of course. In the end I just said, “A while. I’m staying for a while.”

    “Uh-uh, right.” Dr. Zhu rolled her eyes. “Okay fine. You can leave.” Victoria squealed out a soft, yay. “But you,” Dr. Zhu’s face turned serious as she looked at me. “Even if things get tough, promise me you’ll take care of her.”

    “I will.” I promised.

    It’s been 34 hours since I came to China and 32 since I found out about the reason of Victoria’s disappearance. Cancer. Out of all the possible reasons… it was unexpected. And shocking. And I have no idea what I should do.

    But what I do know is that no matter what happens, I’m going to be there for her.