“This is complete and utter horse ” Baekhyun yells, kicking his desk “I hate paperwork”

He and Kai had recently busted a drug ring at a local high school. And along with all the praise, they got a copious amount of paperwork to accompany it.

“Stop complaining” Kai says “it’s not that bad”

Baekhyun scoffs “Not that bad? You’re only saying that because Kyungsoo does your paperwork for you”

“That’s not true” Kai yells “Right Kyungsoo?”

“Your argument would be more valid if I wasn’t currently doing your paperwork right now” Kyungsoo says with a laugh.

Kai pouts “but I’m helping right?”

“Sure” Kyungsoo says with a smile “whatever helps you sleep at night”

“Being with you helps me sleep at night” Kai teases and both Kyungsoo and Baekhyun blanch.

“Re-u-re-u-re-u” Sehun screams as a mock police siren “you are under arrest for that horrible pick up line. You have the right to remain silent, anything you say can and will be used against you, you have the right to an attorney, if you cannot afford one, one will be appointed to you”

“That is the gayest thing I have ever heard” Baekhyun laughs “and I intended that for both you”

“Get back to work” Kyungsoo laughs

***

“Seriously?” Chanyeol asks incredulously

“I don’t around when it comes to paperwork” Baekhyun says with a deceivingly sweet smile.

“So I have to fill out the incident report for you or I’ll be put on probation?”

“That’s what I said” Baekhyun in annoyed now “Why are you asking so many questions? Just get to work”

“What are you still doing here?” Kyungsoo asks Chanyeol as he walks around the corner “Aren’t you supposed to be in a meeting with Minseok, Luhan, Chen and Tao?”

“Uh, yeah” Chanyeol says uneasily “But Baekhyun said I needed…”

Baekhyun cuts him off by laughing loudly “I was just telling him that”

Kyungsoo gives Baekhyun a suspicious glance “Really?”

“No” Chanyeol says at the same time Baekhyun answers “Yes”

Kyungsoo lets out a sigh “Chanyeol get to your meeting, you’re already late”

Chanyeol nods, jumps out of his seat, and runs down the hallway to the conference room.

“And you” Kyungsoo says as he spots Baekhyun trying to crawl away unnoticed “Do your own damn paperwork” and then Kyungsoo is walking back down the hallway towards his original destination.

“How the hell did he know what I was doing?” Baekhyun questions as he picks himself off of the floor.

***

“You know you’re an idiot right?” Tao say unapologetically.

Baekhyun raises his head to glare at the younger male “Why? Because I don’t want to do my paperwork?”

“No” Tao says after taking a sip of his coffee “Because you don’t have someone to do your paperwork for you”

“Sehun does your paperwork?” Baekhyun snickers, unable to picture it.

“No” Tao laughs “Sehun doesn’t even do his own paperwork, why would he do mine?”

“Because you two are ing” Baekhyun says automatically “Wait, then who does your paperwork?” he asks when he realizes what Tao had said.

“First of all, we are not ing” Tao glares at Baekhyun “and Kyungsoo does it for us”

“What?” Baekhyun yells “that’s such bull. He does yours, Sehun and Kai’s paperwork?”

Tao nods “I think he does Yixing’s as well”

Baekhyun groans “How much do they pay that kid?”

“A lot” Tao informs “some months he even makes more money than Kris and Joonmyun combined”

 Baekhyun lets out a pathetic whine as his head falls back onto his desk “How is this my reality? When I was in college people used to line up to do things for me”

Tao shrugs before standing up and walking away, leaving Baekhyun to his misery.

“Nice pep talk” Baekhyun mumbles into the wood “let definitely do it again sometime”

***

“You’ve got that look in your eye” Jongdae says with interest, causing Baekhyun to glare at him “Care to inform me what you’re up to?”

“No” Baekhyun flat out declines

“Fine” Jongdae says calmly “Whatever it is, I hope you know you will fail miserably without my help”

He walks away with a smile on his face and a bounce in his step and for a fleeting second Baekhyun almost believes him.

“What am I thinking?” he says to himself “Chen is never right”

***

“I’m here to blackmail you” Baekhyun announces as he slams Kris’ door open.

Kris raises an eyebrow at the action “Oh really”

“Yes” Baekhyun confirms

 “Seriously?”

“Yes”

“You do know this won’t end well for you, right?”

“Ye…I mean no, it will turn out perfectly”

“You think I’m a pushover?” Kris smirks “I can’t be blackmailed so easily”

Baekhyun laughs “oh ho ho, I beg to differ duizhang”

Kris glares “What are you planning? And does Chen have anything to do with this?”

“No” Baekhyun says annoyed “I would never let a novice like Chen help me with something this important”

Kris rolls his eyes “Fine, proceed, what are your demands?”

“Huh. Oh uh, I just want someone to do my paperwork” Baekhyun says, shocked that Kris had given in so easily.

“Are you sure Chen isn’t involved somehow?” Kris asks “This is exactly the type of petty bull he blackmails me for all the time”

“Chen blackmails you?” Baekhyun asks in disbelief

“At least 6 times a week” Kris informs as if it was nothing “Now what is your threat?”

Baekhyun straightens up “I promise to make Suho mad every hour on the hour until my paperwork has been filled out”

“You wouldn’t” Kris glares

“Oh, but I would” Baekhyun says “and I will, if my demands aren’t met”

“Fine” Kris says and Baekhyun isn’t sure if he should be worried about the smile on Kris’ face or not “give me your paperwork and I’ll get my best man onto it”

***

“I’m gonna ing kill you” Luhan screams a battle cry before chasing Baekhyun down the hall, fire extinguisher in hand.

“I don’t even know what I did, but I sorry” Baekhyun yells as he darts around a corner.

“What’s this all about?” Suho asks as he comes to stand next to Chen, Tao and Chanyeol.

Tao shrugs “I’m not really sure. We just got out of a meeting when Kris came up to Minseok, handed him some papers and then Luhan just lost his and started chasing Baekhyun around with the fire extinguisher”

There’s suddenly a loud crash and the sound of Baekhyun’s scream.

“Should we be concerned about this?” Suho asks

“No” Kyungsoo says popping out of nowhere “this is just Kris paying back Baekhyun for attempting to blackmail him”

“Ahh” they say in unison before splitting off to go about the rest of their day.

***

“I told you” Jongdae laughs as he takes a seat next to Baekhyun.

Baekhyun removes the ice pack from the side of his head to glare at him “Told me what?”

“I told you you’d fail without my help”

Baekhyun rolls his eyes, putting the ice pack back on.

“You know” Jongdae starts “blackmailing Kris is an art form”

Baekhyun scoffs

“And you my friend” Jongdae continues “are a terrible ing artist”

Baekhyun laughs, turning to face younger “And what makes you so good? What do you have on Kris?”

“That’s for me to know and you to go crazy trying to figure out” Jongdae says before standing up to leave.

Baekhyun glares at his back as he goes.

“Hey” Kris yells “get back to work, that paperwork isn’t going to finish itself”

“Yes sir” Baekhyun grumbles as he picks his pen back up.