honestly, don't expect too much from this.

 

 

Tao sat quietly near the windowsill. His gaze was far beyond the corpse-studded hills his window had to offer. What was once a place where they celebrate life had become an epitome of death in less than one sunrise. They fought tooth and nails to defend each other, but now it feels like it was all in vain. They lost their teachers, and Yixing was fighting for his life in the next room and none of them had had any idea of what to do.

 

"We shouldn’t have-,” Sehun stuttered, his hands were still shaking from all the bursts of power they let out earlier. And when they had exhausted their power out, weapons were their only choice. The dried blood that decorates his body did not help, though. He was shaking harder as he tried to scrub of all the blood from his hands.

 

"I don't know what to do, Zitao. Junmyeon hyung doesn't know, Yifan ge doesn't know. Th- then who does? Why- we always, always know what to do but now- " Sehun started again, his voice shook with every words he spurted out.

 

"Sehun,"

 

"Why is it so hard to get rid of this awful stench?" The younger one ignored him, still frantically rubbing his hands.

 

"Sehun,"

 

"Why can't I- damn it, WHY CAN'T I GET THIS BLOOD OF MY HANDS?" Sehun screamed in desperation as he started to claw his own palm. He was angry, furious beyond words, but he can't put it into words. Because the one he was mad at the most was himself.

 

Sehun knew- they all knew- the rules; protect the ones that cannot defend themselves, and up until yesterday they had no problem in doing exactly that. After all, all they have got to face are each other in mock-battle their teacher set up of them. They had been told that one day their powers would be put up to test in a real battle. Never have it crossed their minds that it would be this soon.

 

Then again, they wouldn't know that they’d lose the teachers in a few hours and kill hundreds of people in the next few and probably loose one of their own before sunrise tomorrow.

 

"Sehun, stop,"

 

And then Tao was holding his hand that he hasn't realize, had started bleeding.

 

"You are hurting yourself... " Zitao firmly hold Sehun's palm up, afraid that he might continue hurting himself.

 

It felt like they were all standing on a thin layer of ice on frozen lake in early spring. The slightest of tremor, sound, could crack and break the ice, sending them into the endless stark water of the lake. Then they wouldn't be able to get out, and that's what scares them the most.

 

"You're bleeding... " Tao stated, examining Sehun's hand. "I'll get Yix- "

 

The sentence died in his throat the day's happenings played in his head like a fast-forwarded film reel. Zitao swallowed the bile rising up his throat and gently nudged Sehun to stand up and walk him to the bathroom.

 

"I'm sorry.... " Sehun whispered almost inaudible. He still hasn’t been able to look at Zitao, finding his toes more interesting all of a sudden.

 

Zitao didn't answer for a while as he washed Sehun's shaking hands under running water. The blood really takes a while to come off, Tao made a mental note. He only responded when he finally bandaged Sehun's hands and they were both sitting on their bed, their door opened to an unusually silent living room and the sight of ten boys, one of whom lied almost lifeless on the bed in the center of the room.

 

Yixing.

 

"I'm sorry, too.... "

 

His silent whisper was swallowed by the suffocating silence enveloping both of them, as Sehun hide his head in between his knees.

 

He could see Junmyeon and Jongdae tending to Yixing: wiping cold, damp cloth all over the boy's body to bring his temp down, cleaning the blood on his torso, whispering into deaf ears.

 

Stay with us, Yixing. You’ll be okay. We’ll find a way.

 

The other’s were either tending to each other’s wounds or too stunned by the outcome of their fight to do anything.

 

Zitao had to held in the sob threatening to came out and he wiped the tears that started to flow again.

 

He hated himself for not being able to do anything. He had time on his side. Yet it was also time that he felt had betrayed him. He cannot turn back time.

 

Not that much.

 

Not when he almost passed his limit while fighting. Not when he risked the chance of all of them being dead given he turned back time, as he would not be able to fight again. With seconds it was easy, and he used it in fight all the time. Minutes would take more from him, but it was doable. Hours, though, he was warned against it. Hours turned back would mess the flow of time.

 

Even if he could, he would not land at the time he wanted. He could be somewhere before the fight, and already exhausted.

 

His exhaustion would mean no time to held back the man that almost shoots an arrow to Sehun. His exhaustion would mean no time to kill the man that almost slashed Junmyeon. His exhaustion would mean no time to get Luhan and Jongdae to safety as a dozen men charged their way towards their unsuspecting back. His exhaustion would mean no time for him to warn everybody else of a hundred more armed men marching from the back of the hill, archers sporting poisoned-arrowheads.

 

One of which struck him on the back, sending him rolling down the hill, struggling to turn back time. He needed to warn the others.

 

Though with an arrow lodge on his back and stars swimming in his vision, he did turn back time. Used up all the strength he had left to get to the person closest to him, to warn him and to get him to warn the other. He could not even talk properly anymore, let alone screaming warnings to the whole hill side.

 

He got to Yixing. He managed to croaked a raspy ‘…armed archers. North. Poisoned. I think. It burns, -Xing.’ before he collapsed with a frantic Yixing being the last thing he saw.

 

And he wondered whether that will be the last time he saw Yixing alive.

 

Because the next time he opened his eyes, it was dark and the fight was long over. He felt numb down to his toes and he couldn’t move for a few minutes while his vision swarmed back and he could see Junmyeon and Yifan and Jongdae crowding around him. Junmyeon’s hand was running through his hair, knowing that it would soothe the younger as he slowly told him about what happened after he passed out.

 

Yixing was healing him when a soldier tried to strike him from the back. Junmyeon saw he dodged it and started running towards them. But he wasn’t fast enough to stop the man from ing his sword through Yixing’s body as he shielded an unconscious Zitao.

 

The fight was over quickly after that; rage fueling the rest seeing the two of them down.

 

He was healing you when he was hit. We stopped the bleeding but the blade must’ve been laced with something. He wouldn’t wake up.

 

Junmyeon explained without a hint of accusation, but Zitao doesn’t need it to feel guilt sink into his skin.  ‘If only’ ran through his mind in a thousand different scenario, all of which doesn’t end up with Yixing being half-dead because of his mistake.

 

He swore himself he would do anything to heal Yixing.

 

 

 

X                      x                      X

 

 

 

The sun sets beyond the horizon and soon, night fell. Darkness dawned upon the hidden hillside house the twelve boys occupy.

 

Twelve.

 

It was who they are. What they are. From as long as they can remember, there has only been the twelve of them and each other are the only ones they can rely on. They knew each other inside out, both figuratively and quite literally as well. They are comrades, friends, brothers, and family, everything anybody could've asked for.

 

Less then twelve is never an option.

 

 

 

 

 

The living room was quiet with desperate determination. Sitting or standing on whatever wasn’t completely destroyed in the battle, 11 boys were busy flipping through pages of books, scattered and stacked all over them. The guardians have existed for thousands of years, silently watching and keeping the balance of the world; away from watching and prying eyes. Thousands of books were written about them and they vary in content: from history to practice manual. Most were written by hand on parchments made from papyrus. Some were written on skins and a rare few were written on human skins, a grim reminder of ‘guardians’ who did not really agree on the idea of their power being used for good. Those books are real treasures and full of knowledge no human would ever even dreamt of. Most of their early days as guardians were filled with moments like this, though in calming sense of security and learning desire, not desperate search with a life on balance. The books, priceless and full of knowledge as they are, have yet to show the one thing they are searching for:

 

How to heal a healer. 

 

With every page they turned, time ticks away. Nothing could stand in the way of death, not even the guardian of time. And as time goes by, Yixing has grown weaker and weaker. Tao think it wasn’t fair how the one person who was always there to heal any of them, from paper cuts to broken legs, is dying because he cannot heal himself. 

 

The sense of anger and desperation was so raw in the air it is almost suffocating.

 

“These books are useless!” Yifan threw another book to the pile in the middle of the room. None of the other bats an eye, he has been doing that for almost an hour now and frankly, it reflected how all of them feel. The leather-bound book was thrown with a little bit too much power though, and it hit Chanyeol on the shoulder. A loud thwack got the other’s attention.

 

“Hey! Watch it!” Chanyeol scolded loudly. 

 

“I’m sorry. It’s just, there’s nothing in here,” Yifan replied.

 

“And throwing it at me is going to help you find something?” Chanyeol retorted back bitterly.

 

“I said I’m sorry, why are you getting angry? You’re not the only one looking for a clue on how to fix Yixing in these seemingly useless papers,”

 

“We wouldn’t have been doing it in the first place if you did what you are supposed to do in the first place!” Chanyeol throw the book he was reading to the floor and stood to face Yifan who had done the same.

 

Tired eyes watched the two facing each other and stopped reading. Junmyeon slowly stood up and walked to Yifan’s side.

 

“Hey, let’s just continue looking, okay?” He said calmly. Yifan was having none of it.

 

“Oh, so now it’s my fault? Aren’t you the one who was fighting with him?”

 

“I was holding five people and I called you for help! You said you ‘got it’. You’re the ing team leader, why didn’t you take care of him? ” Chanyeol was now only inches away from Yifan’s face. Junmyeon and Luhan, who had also gotten up overlooking the situation, had too hold both of them back while the rest were trying to calm them down.

 

“Being the team leader doesn’t mean that I can watch over 11 others fighting hundreds of people while fighting them at the same time. We watch each other!”

 

“THEN WE’VE ALL FAILED!!”

 

It got really quiet.

 

All eyes were fixed on Junmyeon, who had let go of Yifan and looked like he’s about to burst into tears any second. His gaze was determined, though, as he scanned the room and looked each and every one of them in the eye.

 

“We take care of each other, watch each other’s back, especially those who were defenseless,” Suho said, voice unwavering and laced with newfound determination. “That’s the case, and we have all failed. We are all at fault. We are all going to look for something to help Yixing,”

 

“Junmyeon hyung is right, guys,” Jongdae said from the corner of the room. “Don’t you think we’ve had enough fight for a lifetime?”

 

Chanyeol and Yifan looked at each other, both looked equally guilty.

 

Silent apologies were muttered under their breath as they hugged each other and then went back to their own pile of books.

 

Zitao was watching from Yixing’s bedside, having volunteered himself to watching the other boy’s body temp along with Minseok, who was thinly icing Yixing’s body when it got too hot.

 

He knew they were running out of time. Yixing got paler and weaker by the second and at this rate, Zitao was afraid that he wasn’t going to hold on until sunrise.

 

“Hyung,”

 

Minseok carefully removed the layer of ice on Yixing’s forehead, “Yes, Zitao?”

 

“I need to try something,” He whispered, somehow unsure of the other’s reaction.

 

The older cocked his eyebrow in question.

 

“You couldn’t turn back time that long, you kno-“

 

“I know, hyung, believe me, I do,” Zitao stopped him, “And no, that’s not what I wanted to try,”

 

“Then what?”

 

He hesitated.

 

“Time paralysis,”

 

Zitao could feel ice on his skin for a split second.

 

“No,”

 

“Hyung-“

 

“I’m against you using that method. You know how it would backfire against you if we don’t make it in time,” Minseok raised his voice, attracting the attention of the others. He did not care if they think they were fighting. If they hear then they could tell Zitao how foolish his plan was.

 

“Ge, we don’t have much time-,”

 

“Oh, and so you are planning on using yours on Yixing?”

 

“Are you guys okay over there?” Jongdae said from across the room. Zitao could feel the other’s eyes on them.

 

“No, we’re not,” Minseok’s with false confidence.

 

Junmyeon looked at them with questioning eyes, ”What is it?”

 

“Hyung,” Tao almost pleaded.

 

“Tell them,”

 

He sighed, and looked at the tired eyes staring back at him.

 

“I’m planning on using time paralysis on Yixing ge,”

 

 

                                               X                      x                      X

 

 

“I think I might found something,” Baekhyun’s voice was no more than a whisper, but every one of them heard it clear. 

 

“You did?” It was disbelief in Luhan’s question. They don’t say the word lightly, afraid that a false lead will bring their hopes up in fleeting moments of relieve, only to bring it down again.

 

“What is it?” Junmyeon scooted closer to Baekhyun, shifting one of his light spheres floating idly around the room.

 

Baekhyun hesitates. His grip tight on the book he held. He offers no answer though, just brought up the book he read for all of them to see.

 

The book was old and leathery, with brown papers that none of them could pinpoint what they were made from. The title was sewn unto the cover in cursive writings.

 

“The Book of Origins…?” Jongdae had to brought his face close to the cover to read the title for everyone else.

 

“You found the Book of Origins? I thought the Teacher said they hide it,” Jongin said from the corner of the room.

 

“It was just lying there on the pile….” Baekhyun uttered, opening the pages carefully.

 

“Well, did it say anything about what we need?” Yifan’s tone was slightly irked and impatient, voicing what all of them are actually feeling.

 

“Most of them are historical accounts on events we were already told of; the War of Elements, the Fall of the West Kingdom, etcetera. But then there were these much, much older writings dating back to the first guardians,” Baekhyun got to the few last pages. Everybody else seems to be holding their breath.

 

Chanyeol chipped in, “The first guardians? But Teacher said they…” 

 

“Died before they could left anything useful for the next other than a few pages of their short journey, yeah I know. But hear this part ‘…and the third moon passed, trailing behind our exhausted back as we carry our fallen comrade back. Back to where we came from, at the end of the moonlight that shone upon our path, at the beginning of our journey….’ The rest are too faded to read, but on the next page is this….” Baekhyun’s voice trailed of as he flipped the page and shows them a page full of a drawn image.

 

A tree.

 

If possible, the silence got even more deafening. Emotions hung low in the air; anticipation, hope, disbelief.

 

“The Tree of Life?” He has been quiet ever since they started looking through the books, but this time even Kyungsoo can’t hold his silence.

 

“The Tree of Life is a myth!” Junmyeon took the book from Baekhyun’s hand, taking a closer look at the book. Minseok was looking over his shoulder.

 

“Well, not according to the first guardians,” Commented Jongdae.

 

“The Teachers always told us that none other than the firsts have come upon the Tree of Life. What makes you so sure that it is no more than a mere tale passed down upon generations of us?” Yifan is far from believing anything about the Tree of Life. They had been raised with the tale of it, told to them before sleeping, on their daily lessons. But they were also told that none of their predecessor has seen it, only heard of it.

 

“Our power has got to come from somewhere, right?” Said Baekhyun.

 

“But from a tree? A mythical tree? Say even if we find it, how will it help us? There were no further account on said ‘fallen comrade’ or how the tree help-“ Yifan didn’t get to finish his argument.

 

“If the tree is a myth, then we must be too,”

 

Zitao’s voice has long lost its cheery undertone, what was left is raspy and tired. His eyes are hooded and darker than usual. He has not left Yixing’s side since yesterday evening, keeping his time-sphere around Yixing’s body. ‘It will slow it down’, he insisted in the midst of everybody else’s protest. It. Death. His time sphere could slow down Yixing’s metabolism, keeping Death away with time.

 

Time paralysis.

 

Yielding the power of time is a blessing as much as it is a curse. Time is a force of its own, one not to be mess with. To bend it took a lot of energy, willpower and concentration, more than it will took yielding other elements of nature. That’s why Zitao cannot use his power as much as the other, hence why he had to learn self defense alongside his element training. At one point, time would take what was taken from Zitao’s body; shortening his own life.

 

What he was doing is taking toll on his body. He could only hold the time sphere around Yixing’s body for seven days. More than that, he would eventually loose control of time, and could end up giving his time to Yixing. A trade none of them ever wanted.

 

They already used up one day.

 

“If there’s a chance, I say we take it. I want to- I need to believe that this tree exist. Otherwise there would be no way to help Yixing,” He glanced at the form lying on the bed next to him, face as pale as the white sheet he’s lying on.

 

“Taozi-“

 

“We don’t even have a clue where to begin to find this- this Tree of Life. We don’t have much time,” Yifan’s tone was softer, albeit still laced with the same amount of disbelief.  He shuffled closer to Zitao, letting the tired boy lean on him. “It’s your time we’re running out of,”

 

Silence again. How are they going to find a tree that has been lost for decades? That even their teachers haven’t been able to found? And they only have six days before all hell breaks loose.

 

“I think I might have an idea,” Minseok stood up, taking the book from Junmyeon’s hand. “Sehun, come with me,”

 

Sehun, who had been lost in his own thought snapped back at the mention of his name. Minseok offered his hand and he took it with his uninjured one. Hand-in-hand, they walked towards the opening in the middle of the room.

 

“What are you doing?” Asked Junmyeon.

 

“Looking for moonlight,” Minseok answered with a smile, the first one since the fight two nights ago.

 

The sky was slightly cloudy. They could see the moon shimmering behind a thin layer of cloud.

 

“Sehun, could you get rid of the cloud?” Minseok asked their youngest, who just nodded and started working on his power. Sehun focused his wind on one spot at the sky and started blowing it on the direction of the other, pushing the clouds away and letting the moonlight shone down through the opening.

 

The light fell down around the two of them and the drawing of the tree on the book on Minseok’s hand.

 

The moonlight made visible lines as the tree faded and a map surfaced.

 

Minseok was hopeful when talked again.

 

“The moonlight will show us the way, as it did theirs” They could almost hear the smile in Minseok’s words.

 

Maybe there was hope after all.

 

 

X                      x                      X

 

 

Warmth was the first that come back to Yixing as he slowly felt his senses coming back to him. He was cold, for the time that felt too long he felt cold. But warmth gradually replaced the ice in his veins. It gets easier to breath, and then he could hear voices. Whispers in the dark.

 

The first thing he sees is a pair of glistening orbs. Foreign yet so familiar. Familiar, because this same pair of eyes he has seen everyday growing up. Foreign, because the owner of those orbs shouldn’t be crying, not with him there to shoo away all the scary things. 

 

 

Nothing will hurt you as long as I am here.

 

 

“Yixing-“ His name came out in choked sobs. Only then Yixing realized the pair of hands cupping his cheeks. He was lying on somebody’s lap. Warmth. He felt warm and fuzzy. But he would recognize that voice anywhere, in any situation.

 

Zitao. His baby, why is he crying? 

 

“Taozi,” 

 

It was bright around them. He had to squint and he could not see anything else but Zitao’s face.

 

“Are you okay?” Yixing asked, bringing his hand to Tao’s cheeks, trying to wipe away his tears. 

 

Zitao let out a strangled laugh, a small smile on his lips: pale and chapped. Why?

 

“I should be asking you that question,” And that short answer seems to make Zitao out of breath.

 

Yixing slowly run his thumb under Tao’s eyes, wiping his wet cheek. His cold wet cheek. Why?

 

“Taozi,” He slowly sat down- slightly wincing at his sore muscles- and he took Tao’s hand in his. Ice-cold hands greeted his skin, warmth only a lingering trail. 

 

Something’s wrong.

 

“Why are you so cold?” He asked the boy now that they were sitting face-to-face. 

 

Only now that he could really see the state that the boy was in. And he didn’t like what he sees.

 

Zitao was pale, sickly pale. His eyes no longer sparkle; they almost looked dull. Yixing ran his hands through Tao’s face, arms, neck and shudders at how cold they felt on his fingertips. Is Minseok playing with them?

 

But then he looked around and see nothing but endless light stretching as far as he can see and there was a tree. They were sitting underneath a tree that seemed to glow; its trunk was white and its leaves looked as if they were made of glass in all colors. Beautiful as it is, he couldn’t even give it a spare thought. Where are the others?

 

“It’s okay, ge,” Tao brought his attention back to the boy, though his hands never left the younger. 

 

He was brought into a hug. But Zitao is so-

 

“Why are you so cold?” He repeated, whispered on the other’s ear. “Are you hurt? Where does it hurt? Let me fix it,"

 

He coaxed the boy as he used to do as kids. 

 

Yixing could feel Zitao smile in his embrace.

 

“You are always so selfless. Every time I need you, you were there. You take care of us. Of me,” It was no more than a whisper near his ear, and for some reason Yixing tightened his hold on his brother. He could vaguely feel the light surrounding them dissipating.

 

Right then and there it hit him.

 

Everything seems to come back all at once. His hazy mind cleared out and it all flooded him in a wave of memories. The attack at dawn, the fights-endless and bloody- brought them to their knees, their dead teachers, death all around them, hundreds of bodies rolling down the hill, pain, pain- pain like he never felt before, he must’ve passed out because he did not remember anything else, but-

 

Everything seemed to slow down. The lingering haziness, like time ran slower around him and he could barely feel the pain anymore.

 

A dreadful realization and he could feel his blood run cold.

 

“Taozi, what did you do?"

 

A thousand things ran through his mind at the same time, and he had all these possibilities conjured up yet none provide the outcome he desired.

 

“I’m sorry, ge,” A fleeting whisper, then Zitao was deadweight in his arms.

 

 

X                      x                      X

 

 

The light around them disappeared completely, revealing the night sky and 10 worried faces that seemed frozen in time for a second, before the sound came back the same way his memory did; abrupt and all at once.

 

“Zitao, no!"

 

“Stop it!"

 

“He wouldn’t want it-"

 

“Tao, please,"

 

They all stopped at the sight upon them. Eyes wide and fearful.

 

Collective gasps. He didn’t even try to look. His mind still stuck on one question left unanswered.

 

What did he do?

 

“Yixing…?” He could hear his name whispered out of Junmyeon’s mouth.

 

Yixing paid it no heed. His hands started to glow on Zitao’s back, only to died down as soon as it started.

 

Scuffling of feet getting closer. 

 

His hand glowed for the second time, and again it was gone.

 

I could fix him. If there is something wrong, I could fix it. I always could.

 

Hands tried to pried Zitao away from him. He did not let them.

 

“No, wait!” He growled.

 

And tried again. And again.

 

Why isn’t it working?

 

“Yixing, please,” Yifan begged and he never beg anyone for anything. Why?

 

“What’s wrong with him? What did he do?” Yixing was half-screaming. 

 

None of them dared to answer. He could hear sobs around him. Silence surrounded them. The moon was bright and light, yet it never looked as dull as it did that night. Humidity hung low on the air around them as it was a warm summer night, and yet the cold body in his arms got Yixing freezing to his bones. 

 

“Yixing-"

 

“TELL ME WHAT DID HE DO,” 

 

Ten boys jolted in shock; Yixing never screams at anything, at anyone. 

 

Everybody hesitates.

 

Because how did you tell Yixing that Zitao- the boy he had taken care of long before they were guardians, before they discovered about their power- how did you tell him that Zitao died in his place?

 

It was Sehun that spoke for them.

 

“You almost died, Yixing. And we couldn’t do anything-“ Sehun took a deep breath, he looked on the verge of breaking down. “We looked and looked and we were desperate but then there was this Tree of Life and its supposed to be able to heal you but we didn’t know where it is or how long would it take to find it so Zitao-"

 

“We needed time-,” Jongdae continued for Sehun as their youngest couldn’t seem to make any more coherent sound. The night wind blew slow and fevered around them, enclosing each in suffocating warmth.

 

Yixing felt numb. No.

 

He could feel himself went slack, no strength left to hold himself up and as his grip on Tao loosened, Junmyeon shakily pulled Zitao away from Yixing's hold and laid him on his own lap.

 

 “Oh Taozi,” They could hear him whisper heartbrokenly quiet on the dead boy’s ear. If only he could hear another muffled ten.

 

“We needed time and Zitao gave too much,” Jongdae sounded sorry as he finished. As if it was partly his fault. He wasn’t the only one feeling that way.

 

Yixing was in a daze.

 

For him.

 

Zitao gave his time for him. He was supposed to be dead. Not Zita-

 

“I could fix him,” Yixing whispered as he put his hands on Tao’s still chest. Junmyeon just looked at him with sad eyes as he carded his hand through Tao’s hair.

 

“No, Yix-,” Yifan tried to remove his hands, but he was not going to let him. He was not the only one startled by his own action when he shoved Yifan away so violently that the other hit the tree trunk with an audible thud.

 

He didn’t even think to apologize as he worked all the power he got and focused it on Zitao.

 

He knew he should’ve anticipated how his light kept dying down but it doesn’t make it hurt any less. Healing has been his comfort, his whole existence. Knowing that he could always safe his brothers from immediate danger had always been the thing that kept him going through the tough training days. He would never let them suffer even for a second more when he knows he could heal them. 

 

He could heal Zitao.

 

He needs to heal him. 

 

The soft glow coming out of his hand grew brighter only to flicker off.

 

NO! What good are you if you cannot heal him?

 

Again.

 

He could hear Junmyeon’s choked sobs. Or maybe it was his?

 

“Yixing, STOP! You cannot heal the dead!” Kyungsoo’s voice roared through the still night air. They could feel the earth beneath them rumble. And then Kyungsoo’s small arms wrapped around him. 

 

Dead. Zitao was dead. 

 

And Yixing cannot do anything about it. 

 

He wanted to die.

 

He would rather be dead than having Zitao lay cold and stiff in Junmyeon’s embrace, all because of him.

 

“You shouldn’t have let him-,” He fell back into Kyungsoo’s arms, feeling it tightened around him. He knew the other needs comfort as much as he did. He also knew that nothing would comfort them. Not in a very long time.

 

“I’m sorry,"

 

“You should’ve just let me go. Why did you let him do this?”

 

Kyungsoo kept repeating apologies as Yixing wailed into the night.

 

“You should’ve just let me die,”

 

 

 

X                      x                      X

 

 

 

 

“Why didn’t you do anything?"

 

The tone of Chanyeol’s voice was vile and resentful. They look around to see whom the boy was talking to, but it was none of them. 

 

He was talking to the tree. Fires crackled dangerously on his hands.

 

 

In any other situation, they would find it funny. At that moment though, none could find even a trace of humor in them.

 

“You are supposed to be the tree of life! The source of these cursed powers! You can bring him back!” He walked closer to the tree, fires growing on his palms.

 

“Hyung, stop. You’re not going to do any good burning down that damn tree!” Jongin pleaded as he approached the taller man.

 

“We spend days of Tao’s time to get here and it doesn’t do anything. What good is the ing tree now?” Chanyeol’s hands were only inches from the tree.

 

“Chanyeol! We don’t know what will happen to us, to our power if you destroy the tree! For all we know, we could lose our them!” Baekhyun joined in.

 

None of them dared getting any closer to Chanyeol’s fire.

 

“Well then so be it,”

 

The fire on his hands roared and formed a circle around the tree, burning it from the bottom.

 

Baekhyun turned to Luhan for some help, knowing the older could make Chanyeol stop his fire. Luhan just stared, though. He just stared at the burning tree with the same amount of resentment and hate in Chanyeol’s eyes as he held Sehun close.

 

“Minseok hyung-“ 

 

“Let it burn,” His voice does not leave room for discussion. “What good would a damn tree do us."

 

Baekhyun let out a frustrated grunt before turning to Junmyeon, only to have the words he was going to utter stuck in his throat as his sight came upon him.

 

He just looked lost. He had this faraway look in his eyes, and he wasn’t even crying anymore but the face he made was so full of anguish Baekhyun could feel his emotions from a few meters away- and he’s not the empath of the group. Junmyeon’s right hand was still running to Zitao’s jet-black hair, while the other cupping his cheek and Baekhyun just realized how dead his brother looked.

 

He almost laughed at the irony in his thought, because Zitao is dead. But how could that be? He had always been so full of life- running around, chatting away, laughing along.

 

Never had Baekhyun felt emptier than that moment.

 

Tao is dead, and the rest of them felt quite the same too.

 

He stepped back and watched the tree burn.

 

 

 

X                      x                      X

 

 

 

It was white, without a beginning nor did they see an end. 

 

“What the-“ Jongin muttered as he looked around 10 equally confused faces.

 

None of them had realized the change. One moment they were on the hill of the Tree of Life, burning down the horizon with it. A blink away and they were somewhere else.

 

Nowhere.

 

‘Raise your heads, Guardians,'

 

Jongin blinked. The voice was all around, yet it was only in his head. 

 

“Who is that? Who’s talking?” Chanyeol turned, looking for answers.

 

Somehow though, all of them knew.

 

‘I was what all of you are now. I kept the balance and order of this world, as you do'

 

“What do you want from us?” Yifan demanded.

 

‘Never I wanted anything, but for the balance to be kept. The guardians exist for that purpose only and I see you have lost your ways. Had this situation continue, balance will cease to exist,'

 

The nothingness surrounding them seems to only amplify the silence that follows.

 

“You expect us to go back to learning of keeping balance and order without our teachers and Zitao?” Spat Yifan. “Why don’t you bring him back now and then we can talk?"

 

Silence.

 

‘Such a shame that the Guardian of Time had fallen. His death is indeed the reason that will be leading you astray. A tricky thing, time is. And I do not bring back the dead, child. Nor can I control time. One life cycle is needed for another Guardian of Time to be born. Until then, you will continue to learn. To serve the Force. To keep the balance.,'

 

It felt like everything had stopped for a moment even when nothing really moved.

 

‘ You will continue your life and lesson as it is after the War of Elements, as the firsts do: without guidance, through experience and self study. The Guardian of Time’s existence will cease to exist from everything he had walked and touched upon, including your mind. Grief would only hinder your learning process, hence leading chaos and destruction upon our world,'

 

The void around them distorted with images and voices.

 

A pair of eyes. Sad and beautiful. I’m sorry, guys. But I have to do this.

 

A laugh. Clear and carefree. A smile. We need to play like this more often.

 

A child cried, holding a dead butterfly. I- I found it near the front door.

 

Broken glasses upon the grass. An angry shout. I did not mean to!

 

Zitao’s.

 

“No, no! What are you trying to do?” Junmyeon frantically tried to hold on as the body on his lap slowly dissolves into the white they were surrounded with.

 

Someday, ge, I’ll take you to the sea. Then we could see how much more this world is than this hill we’ve been living at our whole life.

 

“Bastard! You cannot do this to us!"

 

I’m sorry I’m such a crybaby.  A sob. But you’re hurting and so am I.

 

“You have no right-"

 

Could we have a sleepover? A shy chuckle. A boy holding a worn out blanket. The storm made it cold. It’s warmer together.

 

Their minds started to feel hazy. They could almost feel how every memory they had of Zitao disappears with his body.

 

“Stop this, please!"

 

Teach me how to fly, ge!

 

“Memories are the only thing we have of him, please,"

 

Tears dripping. An open wound. Ge! It hurts!

 

They begged and begged yet the voice in their head never came back. 

 

A confident smirk. Together, right? That’s what you always said.

 

Heavy. Their eyes were heavy. Their minds were not their own anymore.

 

Stay with me tonight, please? The dark scared me.

 

“No, please…"

 

A distant laugh. See? It’s okay! Everything’s alright.

 

A fading smile.  

 

A pair of brown orbs full of mischief and so much warmth.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

See you later.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Nothing.

X                      x                      X

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

hahahaa okay don't kill me. i'm sorry this is such a piece of but maybe this piece of will entertain some of you. or only me. who knows.