chapter five

MYUNGSOO’S POV

In the elevator, I swing on my heels as Suzy enters with a grim expression. Struggling to find the right words to start with, my mouth begins to twitch with the need to converse with such an angel. I’m not quite sure if Suzy wants to talk though, I can’t get a reading on her face apart from it looking worried.

I was disappointed, actually, that she could be happy one moment and be the opposite the next, because this kind of expression and feeling didn’t suit her- her happy face is surely the best. But then it strikes me that I shouldn’t be talking like I know her, because that’s what she said not to do.

This lunchtime was the only time we could get together as just the two of us and get to know each other. If it wasn’t for her overwhelming presence, I’d completely forget the dark shadows lingering behind her. Still, I wanted nothing more than to take them away for her and give her the happiness she’s worked hard to achieve.

“What’s your number?” She suddenly asks, pulling me out of my thoughts and pushing me into pressure of acting cool. Sadly, it doesn’t come as naturally to me as it does to other people.

“W-what?” I stammer. Always the idiot, Myungsoo. “My-“

She shrugs, her eyes in front. “You know, just in case.”

In case of what? “Um-“

“Aren’t you going to push the button?” She throws another question at me.

“What button?”

She points to the floor buttons on the doors in front of us. “Any one of those that will take us to our desired location of the building’s cafeteria.”

“Oh.” Was the only thing I could say, and quite stupidly too. “Sure.” I press the button for floor two and ignore the rising blood to my face. I’m glad she’s keeping her head forward so she can’t see me blushing. “What did you ask me b-before?”

Suzy’s face wears this straight expression that I absolutely have no clue how to read, and it strikes me as worrisome. “Your number, what is it?” She doesn’t sound irritated, but I feel like she could be. I’m hoping I’m not being troublesome, but I’m really just a nervous guy!”

“Oh, yes, of course!” I reply in a voice that’s just a little too high. “It’s-“

“For emergencies. That’s why I want it.” She says, but her distant voice tells me that she’s talking more to herself than to me. She pulls her phone out and I drift my eyes away from it, respecting the privacy that is her personal belonging.

I nod quietly and tell her my number. “Please, call me whenever you want.” She nods and quickly tucks her phone back into her pocket after keying me in. I wonder what she saved me as – the name, I mean. Perhaps it’s just plain old Kim Myungsoo? Or maybe Myungsoo. Or Mr. Kim. Maybe Stranger? Or…That Photographer Guy.

I’ll never find out.

The elevator dings for our floor and Suzy exits the elevator without stopping in her tracks, only until she reaches the food selection and that’s when we go back to being quiet.

Lunch was kind of a disaster, I think. I couldn’t say anything in fear that she’ll burst into anger, or tears, or frustration, and leave. But she doesn’t and her eyes were set firmly on her food.

I’m really worried about Suzy. There’s clearly something wrong with her, and I dearly missed the expressions she had on before having a talk with her manager.

Wait-

It has something to do with that. Well done, Myung. A little too late, but you got it.

“Did something happen?” My confidence lies on the line with my theory that it was her manager who had made her like this.

If I had asked that sooner, would she have told me and let me help her? Maybe she could have eating lunch feeling a little better, knowing I was there to listen. I’ll never know this either, and I’m starting to think that my thoughts of Suzy are getting a little out of hand.

Suzy sighs and props her chin on her hand. “Don’t you just hate having people control every little thing of your life?”

I blink confusedly. “I wouldn’t really know…but I’m sure I would. “What’s wrong?”

“I have a boyfriend.”

One second is all it takes for me to reply with an “Oh.”

She has a boyfriend. A boyfriend. But of course- she is Bae Suzy, the super gorgeous model every man drools over. It would be stupid to think she doesn’t have a boyfriend, she has everything! And that bastard is so lucky-

“My manager says I have to tell everyone I have a boyfriend. I don’t really.” Her voice, so deflated, completely washes away my deluded thoughts.

She doesn’t have a boyfriend. So what was she saying now?!

“You don’t have a boyfriend?” She shakes her head grimly. “O…kay. Tell me everything.”

I will always listen to Suzy. With whatever problem that bothers her, it’s in my blood to listen to the things that make her sad or angry, and then get furious myself knowing there are things and/or people out there making her this way.

I’m starting to think I’m getting just a little too obsessed. You’re dumb, Myung.

She takes a deep breath in and exhales another deep breath out. Be calm, dear Suzy. “I’m going to get caught up in a scandal soon and my manager thinks the best way out in this certain situation is to announce to the public that I’m already dating someone.”

“What scandal?” I ask straight after she finishes.

“A fan is telling everyone I’m his girlfriend and the rumour is spreading like wildfire.”

I nod slowly, understanding her situation. So…what happens, Suzy? “Who’s your…boyfriend?” I say in possibly the quietest voice ever. I don’t think I’ll be okay with this (I’ll be far from okay, perhaps on murderous intent, but not quite). My hands drop to my lap and underneath the table where she can’t see, I start to fidget nervously.

She lifts her eyes to meet mine. I can’t read her right now. When she speaks, her voice sounds too stressed for my liking. “Kim Soohyun.”

Oh. Oh. Okay.

Kim Soohyun was her co-star in the well-received drama Dream High. Of course. Everyone thought they had the best chemistry…and they already know each other well in real life. I guess it’d make sense if he was her ‘boyfriend’ but it didn’t sound very good to me.

Actually, I hate it.

“Oh.”

“I’m going to release a statement about this tomorrow.”

That’s too soon. “I really hope you can fix this.” I don’t know what to say. Seconds after a long silence, I try my best to put on a poker face that hid my disappointment. This is going to kill me. “Uh…”

And then that was it. Lunch was over.

My time with Suzy had run out.

We didn’t speak on the way back up to the studio.

-

We did, however, say goodbye after her photoshoot. We just didn’t talk much during the actual shoot, and it felt weird.

Empty, almost.

Or maybe it was just me.

I wanted to talk to her, I really did- but the atmosphere around her wasn’t right, so I held back. Then she left with her manager afterwards, flashing me a small smile and a wave. I could hear the echo of ‘goodbye, Myungsoo!’ hidden in her goodbye and I watched her leave with a wavering smile.

Sungyeol was the one who found me in a sullen state afterwards. Bearing comfort and two iced coffees, he sat down on the studio’s floor with me, completely ignoring the slow movement of work around us. Good thing Sunggyu hyung wasn’t here right now though, he’d definitely yell at us to get back to work and then threaten us by getting Woohyun hyung to stretch our work hours twice as much.

“So I heard that Suzy’s taken, man.” He says, and it makes me even more miserable.

She said she’d make it public tomorrow, but it’s already spreading. “Yeol, I kinda don’t need this right now.”

“I did tell you, she’s unreachable.”

I shake my head, feeling even more deflated. “Yes, you did say, but still-“

He clicks his tongue, “Nope, no stills, my friend. She’s taken, so you can’t go there.”

There would be more detail of our conversation but, to be honest and in all annoyance, he says the same thing over and over and it only makes me feel worse.

Suzy isn’t really taken, I’m lucky enough to be someone who knows her secret, but I get the feeling that she’s more far away from me than I originally thought. I think we’re friends though, that’s a positive. But my feelings are starting to get uncontrollable and I’m sure I want to be more than that, but the question is- how? How can I approach Suzy in a way that makes her see me as a man rather than a friend who helps her?

I’m really a fool, I know.

-

Days skid by so quickly, I can’t even remember what goes on each day. I wake up, go to work, do work, have a painfully repetitive conversation with my best friend, take more pictures of Sungjong’s hats – except for two days a week, where a new corner has been introduced for the magazine, most specifically for people who love purple (Lee Howon, everyone. Or Hoya. Or just that guy who loves purple.) – and go home feeling like a miserable puppy. I gave my number to Suzy almost a week ago, but I haven’t received a call or text from her yet.

I’m starting to get worried for some reason, and not to mention paranoid with the fact that I’m rushing into things…without actually rushing into anything at all.

On a particularly damp Wednesday night, my phone rings and I can feel it in my bones that it’s Suzy calling me.

“Hello?” I inhale sharply and quietly into the receiver, anticipating her voice.

“Myungsoo, can you pick me up please?” Her voice slurs terribly, causing my Suzy-alarm to go off. “I-“

“Are you drunk?” I ask in a monotone. This worries me even more.

On the other side, she giggles too much like a girl (if possible) and I can feel her slapping the air as she does so- you know, like a crazy drunkard who can’t even see what’s in front of them. “I think I am –hic!- but I shouldn’t be, so –hic!- sssh, don’t tell any –hic!- one!”

I’m already wearing my jacket with an umbrella in my hand as she finishes her sentence, not quite sure how fast I managed to get it on, yet rather proud of myself. “Alright, I’m coming to you. Where exactly are you?”

She tells me she’s at a bar not far from the magazine’s building but doesn’t go into any detail as to why she’s even there in the first place, or why she’s alone.

It doesn’t take me long to get there- heck, I know I could run to wherever Suzy was in a matter of simple minutes, but it’s not enough for me to actually reach her –and when I catch a glimpse of her limping figure attempting to lean on an invisible street lamp next to the bar, I stride quickly to catch her before she falls.

“Oh dear god, Suzy.” I mumble as I take hold of her waist, completely ignoring the heat rising to my face as her skirt hitches up and my fingers swiftly brush along her skin. Looking around me, I was thankful to see no one actually watching us as they were too caught up in their night scene. I pull her skirt down and try to stand her up, but her arms lazily entwine around my neck and force me to lean down slightly.

Her eyes are closed. I smell an ungodly amount of alcohol in her breath, and one can only wonder what the heck Suzy has been doing all night. “Myung-“ she whispers, still slurring, “-soo, do you like vodka?”

I almost laugh, but I remind myself she’s a bit crazy tonight. “Not really. I’m not fond of alcohol.” My hold on her waist tightens and the heat continues to throb all inside of me. “What happened to you, Suzy?”

She shakes her head violently, and then groans at the pain attacking her after it. Her fingers travel up in the aim of rubbing her temple but she ends up poking her eye and laughing at herself. It would be too cruel to laugh, so I just smile to myself. “I want to go home.”

“I don’t know where you live, Suzy.”

“Over there.” She points at nowhere in particular then moves to poke me in the chest. “I live there-“

“Suzy,” my breath hitches in my throat. As if she’s telling me she lives in my heart…but that’s just insanity talking. “what’s your address?”

She slumps into my arms and my shoulders begin to ache, “Don’t…care.” I’m pretty sure she’s falling asleep right now, but we’re in the middle of the street and that’s the worst place to sleep.

“You said you wanted to go home.”

“Were you-“ she hiccups quietly. “worried?”

“Yes. I still am, Suzy.”

“You keep saying my name.”

“It feels right when I do.” My response rushes out of my mouth too quick, but she’s drunk- she wouldn’t even remember this. “Aren’t you meant to be famous?”

She laughs and lazily hiccups with her eyes closed. Her hands travel up my chest and neck until she begins patting my face like I’m a pet. Just breathe and ignore the electricity flowing through your veins, Myungsoo. “I ha-hahaha!” she’s laughing like a crazy woman now. “No, Myungsoo let’s just go ho…me..” her voice fades and dulls as her head drops itself onto my shoulder.

Fighting the urge to wrap her in a selfish hug, I remind myself that this isn’t a situation I should take advantage of.

I take one look at her drunken state and hoist her up onto my back, deciding I should just take her back to my place to rest. I’ll call her manager once I get home, I guess.

A silent and somewhat-peaceful twenty minutes later, I prop her down onto my bed and pull the blanket up to her. Sleeping soundly, I take note to wake her up later to give her some medicine and perhaps hold her hair while she throws up in my bathroom.

I pace in my kitchen, realising the time was only just after midnight, and hold my phone in my ear as I ring her manager. She picks up and I have the hardest time convincing her that I’m not going to take advantage of Suzy and that she’ll be up and ready early in the morning for work- which was what she made me promise because Suzy had a long schedule for tomorrow. That was much to my dismay, she was currently drunk and a hangover did not mix well with work. Her manager tells me to take care of her for the night and that she’ll swing by in the morning to pick her up.

I crash down onto my sofa and my hands skim down my face as stress builds up inside me. How am I meant to sleep now when Suzy’s in my bed? The thought of her being behind the door frightens me…what if I accidentally sleepwalk inside?!

“I’m going to kill myself.” I groan into my hands as I contemplate screaming my pain-slash-unspeakable-happiness with my face buried into a pillow. “Who gets drunk on a Wednesday anyway?!”

I’m guessing this would be the perfect time to freak out.

I think I have work tomorrow. I think I’m going to call in sick. I think Sunggyu’s going to kill me. I think Suzy’s going to stop talking to me after tonight. I think I should just sleep at Sungyeol’s place. I think I should-

“Myungsoo-“ Suzy’s voice creaks from the door I did not even hear open, causing me to have a mini heart attack on my sofa. My arms thrash a little in surprise, but I sit on them to ignore the shaking.

“You’re awake.” I state the obvious.

Suzy leans on the doorframe with her eyes half closed and her clothes in disarray. Her skirt keeps riding up! My eyes wander away from her clothes – which took all of my man power to do so – and I curse at myself to focus above her shoulders. Which were also partly because she was wearing a strapless dress- but that’s not the point!

Wait. Is this the part where I give her my clothes to change into? Because…I think I won’t be able to control myself.

“Suzy, do you need anything?” aka I will give you everything and anything you want because you’re Suzy and I’m…well, I’m crazy for you.

She nods, her eyes drooping. “Sleep with me.”

What.

Excuse me?

Are you crazy?

Of course I will- what, no!

My eyes widen, I’m clearly taken aback by this and it causes me to stammer more than usual when I’m nervous. “I-I what- but- Suzy? I- please- what?” I repeat approximately five times in no particular order, wanting to ram my head into a wall.

“I don’t want to sleep alone tonight.”

Oh.

I’ll never say no to her, to be honest.

Without words, I follow her into my own bedroom and kick off my shoes. She curls up on my side of the bed and my heart thrills at the sight of it, while I take the other side. We lie exactly three inches apart from each other, but that’s still too close for me.

I can’t even believe this is happening- I have no words, none at all.

I can’t tell if she fell asleep straight away, but from the corner of my eye, I watch her breathe in and out steadily. She’s sobering up.

I want to move closer, but I don’t have the guts to.

In the back of my head, I can only hear Sungyeol’s voice telling me over and over and over again that Suzy is just too unreachable.

So what was she doing in my bed right now?

-

When I wake up in the morning, I wonder how the hell I fell asleep with Suzy beside me.

Except she’s not beside me anymore and I’ve completely forgotten about half the things that happened last night. Her manager must have come and picked her up really early, or Suzy had left on her own account, or she’s outside in the kitchen making breakfast.

I know it’s definitely not the last one because when I turn to lie on my back and ponder my own life, I catch sight of a note written in impeccably perfect handwriting.

Sorry, Myungsoo. See you soon.

My heart jumps at the sight of soon, and it makes me feel even stupider.

Forget about work, I’m going to stay in bed all day and think about Suzy.

-

 “Myungsoo?” Suzy calls me at midday. This was the only time I answered my phone as I had ignored the texts from Sungyeol asking me where I was, and the calls from Woohyun telling me our boss hyung wanted to skin me alive. I guess I should have called in sick earlier, but I was too lazy to.

“Yes, Suzy?” I’m quite breathless when she says my name. It sounds sweet.

“I have some explaining to do.” Was she talking about last night?

“Mmmm.” I don’t even know how to respond to her anymore.

“Please meet me at the café from last time.” She hangs up and I hold onto her voice even after the dial tone.

It takes me four golden minutes to get ready and rush out the door to meet her.

Myungsoo, you’re kind of a fool, you know.

---

So, I didn't update for a week because of life getting in the way, but I think this is a long update...or at least, it took me a long time to write it xD

I don't like planning stories because I never stick to the plan anyway, I just go with the ideas that appear in my head- this is why (for me anyway) this is getting a bit confusing, because I'm making things up on the spot, but I hope you'll all look forward to wherever this fic is going and support it~

I hope I didn't disappoint *u* and I can't reply to your comments right now because every time I press post comment, it takes too long to load then it frustrated me but I'll unravel the entire story soon~ 

Thank you for reading! I'll update as soon as I can.

Also, thank you for 30 suscribers! *o* I don't mind if you don't all comment, but I hope you at least read the fic ;_; for me, 30 is really a lot so thank you so much T_T! i love you guys~ ♥