가까이 (Closer) - SNSD's Taeyeon

CHAPTER 18

Gureum's POV

“Today’s the day, Gureum. Today’s the day,” I let out a sigh as I said that sentence to myself. I was staring at my own reflection and I was scared for this day.

“Whether he accepts it or not,” Sulli’s words still rang in my ears that morning. Kyungsoo has the choice to accept or not accept my confession, anyways. After all, love is a give and receive… not a give and take. We can only take what the other person gives us. Thus, we receive what we are given.

Kyungsoo will be coming from Heaven today while I’ll be coming from home. I turned to the wall clock near my dresser and it was already one in the afternoon. I took out my trusty pullover hoodie and jeans. I’ll be looking like myself today. I won’t fix myself or something. I wouldn’t want him to see me as another person.

“Don’t forget later at two! At the school’s roof deck!” I texted Kyungsoo and waited for a short while for his reply. After a few moments, I received his smile and it read, “Yes, ma’am! I can’t wait for it! :D”

I went down stairs and looked for Baekhyun. *Oh, Baekhyun.* “Baekhyun ssi! I’m off to somewhere! I’ll be back later!” I shouted out loud since I didn’t have any idea on where he was. I hurriedly went for the door and left home.

--

I decided to stop by the library before I go to the school’s roof deck to get some readings photocopied. Midterm examinations will happen next week and I just want to study ahead.*Do Baekhyun and Kyungsoo have this already? I’ll just photocopy readings for them too.*

--

I turned to my watch the moment I got to the school’s roof deck. *Two o’ clock.* I smiled as I looked down from the railings. The world was beneath my feet. In a few moments from now, Kyungsoo will come and I will tell him how I feel for him. It may sound stupid but it’s the only way for me to achieve the clarity I’m looking for. *Kyungsoo’s my clarity.*

I sat by the benches at the roof deck and patiently waited for him. *He may have left work late. It’s okay. He’ll come.* A few moments passed by and I couldn’t help myself but check the time again. *Two fifteen.* The wind started to blow and Kyungsoo’s still nowhere in sight. *Traffic. He must’ve taken the bus. He’ll be here soon.*

I let out a sigh as I heard the sky grumbling. I looked up and saw the skies getting darker. *It might rain and I don’t have anything.* I turned to my watch again. *Three o’ clock.* I felt drops of rain touch my face and I decided to just wait inside the building. *I’ll wait downstairs. He’ll come. He’ll still come, right?*

I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket and it was from Kyungsoo. “I can’t go. Something urgent happened here in Heaven. I promise to make it up to you. I promise too,” the text message from him read.

*Too much for him coming.*

He was still in Heaven and I know I really have to tell him what I have to tell him. *It’s now or never.* I run towards the bus stop with my hoodie on to protect me from the drizzling rain. The moment I got there, the bus just left and I’m stuck either waiting or running. *I can’t fight this feeling anymore. He needs to know.*

My feet started taking me to Heaven as the moved faster and faster. The rain started pouring too. I was get