~ Chapter 25: I Like You So Much I Could Die​~

This bright Wednesday morning was bright yet so dull, the sun still hadn't risen and I standing in my balcony looking out into the cold air filled with snow. 

Christmas Day.

A day that brings families and friends together as one, where all memories come back; embarrassing, funny and sad moments that make all our hearts warm come back to us. But what good does it come if I do not have a family to celebrate it with? Three years I had spent Christmas alone. But Christmas isn't just any all day for me, it's the day my mother passed away and the day I was left completely alone in this cold, cruel world, this day that I curse for the rest of eternity and beyond, the day the only person I loved was taken from me.

Each time of the year, I look back and wonder what I could have done to stop this misery from coming true. Umma... I'm so sorry, I couldn't do more to help you or save you, umma... I'm sorry.

There's nothing I could do to stop this from happening, fate is fate and I just have to live in this cruel reality for as long as I live.

The sun is slowly rising, not even the orange glow covering my eyes could make this day any brighter or warmer. 

I went into my room and got ready for the rest of the day. I looked over at Yuna peacefully sleeping and smiling in her dream; weird girl. This Christmas the boys couldn't spend it with their families due to special stages and performances so we decided to celebrate it together today. Sungjong got so excited and made us do secret Santa, I got Hoya and was so happy, this was my chance to get to know Hoya a bit more.

I went downstairs to find Hoya up and eating breakfast. 

"Goodmorning Hoya." I said quietly.

He looked up and smiled "Merry Christmas Mina, good m0rning!" he said brightly.

I sat down next to him and stared into space.

"What's wrong Mina?" Hoya asked.

"Nothing, I was just thinking that's all." I smiled and went to pour some milk and sat back down.

As I sat down I saw Hoya looking at his phone and smiling. I laughed at his childish behaviour and got lost in how adorable he looked in that moment, I chuckled a bit as I was staring at him.

Hoya looked up and he flushed immediately. "Wae? why are you looking at me?"

"No, no reason. You just looked so happy for a second."

"Ahh, why I shouldn't smile?" Hoya teased.

"No, please keep smiling. You look cute when you smile." I chuckled as his face grew reder.

"You're funny Mina." Hoya exclaimed.

"Why?"

"I don't know I have yet to figure you out. You're always in so much thoughts, and you find the fun in everything, and happiness in the littlest thing."

"Haha I guess I do, why shouldn't I?" I teased back.

"No, you look cute when you smile. Actually... You always look cute." Hoya said shyly, bowing his head slowly so I couldn't see his face.

"Howon..." I said.

"Mwo?" Hoya said.

"I'm your secret santa. As you know we picked them yesterday, so I decided that tomorrow let's go out and you can choose what you want and that's it." I explained.

"You are? Yah, how could you tell me now? Isn't that cheating?" 

"It's not cheating if there were no rules going against it" I winked at him.

"Fair enough. Tomorrow then? And there's somewhere I'd like to take you" Hoya said.

"Ok, don't bail out on me uh?" I smiled and Hoya chuckled.

"Good morning!!!!!" Someone shouting ran down the stairs.

"Oh Myungsoo-ah, hello." Hoya said "You're in a good mood."

"Right?" Myungsoo said laughing loudly.

"Mina... Hi." Myungsoo said giving me as simple wave.

I bowed my head and returned my attention to Hoya, knowing Myungsoo he would probably go over board, first he is greeting me next he has his arms around me.

"Yah!!! Is that anyway to greet your bo-" I ran towards him and hugged him tightly.

"Chingu-ahhh!! Are you ok?" I said squeezing him hard to make him stop it.

"Ye--e-s." Myungsoo said suffocating under my grasp.

"I'll wake up the rest so we can have breakfast." Hoya said leaving me and Myungsoo alone.

"YAH! ARE YOU CRAZY?" I said slapping him.

"I don't care.. I DON'T CARE! Let them know." He said whinning like a little girl.

I rolled my eyes at him and slapped his head "Babo, how can I? Am I that cruel? Aigoo aigooo!!!" 

"I like you... Isn't that enough?" Myungsoo said.

I rolled my eyes and walked away from him.

He grabbed me by the arm and gave me a backhug.

"Didn't you hear that? I. Like. You." He repeated again, my heart skipped a beat or two.

I struggled in his grasp while he was holding me tight.

"Just a minute, please. I want to keep you in my arms even for a minute" he whispered in my ear: "I missed you."

"We saw each other yesterday and for the past four months!!" I said.

"Mina... I..." Myungsoo stopped when someone appeared from behind.

"What were you guys doing?" I pushed Myungsoo off of me.

"Nothing." We both said while Dongwoo appeared, smirking from ear to ear.

"How was that nothing! I saw you two-" I hugged Dongwoo to make him shut up.

"This? You saw us do this? Yah how is that a big thing? I can hug anyone. I'm a friendly person" I said smiling and letting go of Dongwoo.

"But you and Myungsoo aren't friendly with each other usually... Are you two perhaps dat-" Dongwoo said but I cute in before he could.

"I'm going to wake up Yuna. You two don't talk to each other until come back, and you Dongwoo keep your mouth shut and stop saying things that do make sense, or else your life will flash before your eyes.. Arraso oppa?" I said smiling.

"Yah, daebak Mina is crazy, crazy." Dongwoo said.

Myungsoo chuckled and sat down.

I walked up the stairs and on the way to my room. Myungsoo is trying to get us killed for sure. But for some reason I couldn't stop my heart from beating so fast. Have I gone officially crazy? Why has Myungsoo got so much power over my feelings. The words "I like you" seem so overused now, my feelings seem to have changed? Yah Choi Mina... Get your head on straight, Myungsoo likes you, but for how long? I still can't seem to get the feeling of his body so close to mine out of system. Mina! Have you become a ert?

I just can't seem to get the idea of me and Myungsoo breaking up out of my head? Just how long will this dream last? I keep wondering when I will wake up from this dream.

Is Myungsoo just a dream after all?

>>>>>

"Dongwoo...This is yours." Yuna said giving her present to him.

"Are you my secret Santa?" Dongwoo ask and Yuna nodded.

I laughed at how childish these people were, on stage they were so charismatic and strong and yet... Look at them.

Someone tapped me on the shoulder and put their arm around me and revealed a small gift box.

"You're present." I turned around and saw Woohyun standing behind me.

"You?" I smiled.

"Me." he chuckled and handed me the small, cute gift box.

"What is it?"

"Look inside."

I opened the small gift box, unwrapping it gently and saw a necklace, with a 4 leaf clover pendent on the end of it. I was speechless and taken back, it was beautiful. On the sliver pendent held small blue and pink diamonds, scattered all over the pendent and covering it beautifully. 

"Woohyun I-" Woohyun shushed me before I could say anything.

"Don't say anything just put it on." He said smiling at me.

"You put it on for me." I said smiling.

I turned around and let Woohyun put my hair to the side and putting the necklace on me. I looked at it in the mirror and shone so brightly and perfectly I couldn't help but be so thankful and happy.

"Woohyun, thank you. Thank you!" I said smiling.

"Why you thanking me so much?" he said chuckling.

"I don't know, for this.. For everything. Thank you." I said smiling and suddenly put my arms around and enveloped him in a bear hug. "You're the best."

I let go of him after a while and smiled, he looked dumbfounded and suddenly rushed over to Hoya who was sitting next to Myungsoo. Myungsoo seemed a bit annoyed as he looked at me and I shrugged it off and sat next to Sungyeol.

I kept looking at my necklace and admiring it's beauty. 

Then suddenly it hit me... It was 20:11, around this time 3years ago my mum died on Christmas day. The day it became so lonely, my eyes started to irritate me as tears became to form, but I got rid of them quickly. I wasn't going to cry, not now, not ever. I needed to move and get rid of all this pain and anger I held in my heart. But how I could carelessly enjoy this day, while my mother is lying 6 feet under the floor... Dead.

The room was so quiet and everyone was staring at me.

"What?" I asked looking around.

"Sunggyu was calling your name over and over again, but you looked so upset right now. What's wrong?" Sungjong said.

I shook my head "Nothing, I was just thinking. This day is so peculiar that's all."

"Peculiar? Why...Oh." Yuna said slapping her face.

I looked her and chuckled slightly, now I had ruined the mood. Damn it.

"No it's ok Yuna. Don't worry." I laughed and she looked at me sadly.

"Why? What happened?" Myungsoo asked.

"Nothing, nothing serious." I said regretting those words.

"Yah Choi Mina. How can you call this nothing serious? Are you an idiot? Choose your words more carefully." Yuna said a bit annoyed. She always got angry at me when I was pretending to be alright.

"I know, I'm sorry." I said. "I need to step outside for a second, it suddenly got really hot in here."

"Yah Mina!" Yuna shouted and I stopped.

"Sorry everyone, I'm always ruining the mood. The truth is... My mother passed away on this day 3 years and I completely forgot for a second how painful this memory is to me, thanks to you guys. I just need to step out for a second. Sorry." I said.

I left the boys dumbfounded once again. I'm sorry.

MYUNGSOO'S POV:

Mina was explaining why she seemed so upset and suddenly my heart sank. Why didn't she tell me before? I got up to go after her but Yuna stopped me, I removed her hand from me and decided to go after Mina anyway.

How hard it must of been for her today, we followed along to her act blindly... I'm sorry Mina.

I saw her sat down on the steps outside the front door and followed her out, I closed the door behind me. I walked over to Mina and sat down next to me and she turned around to not face me.

I tried to hold her hand, but she pulled away. 

Was she crying?

"Mina..." I said.

"I'm okay Myungsoo, you can go back in. I'm sorry for ruining your day."

"Ruining my day? How can you even say that? Yah, I'm your boyfriend. When you're sad, so am I." I said slightly hurt.

I had to calm down, I couldn't get angry now. I always knew Mina had trust issues and wasn't good at expressing her feelings, but I couldn't help but feel so helpless right now.

"Look at me Mina." I said but she didn't look at me. "Look at me. Look at me Mina." I repeated.

"Are you ashamed right now? Why would you be... I'm your boyfriend Mina."

"Myungsoo, please just leave me alone."

"I'm sorry but I can't do that, my girlfriend needs me right now. You can hit me or punch me or do whatever you want, but I'm not leaving her by herself." I said firmly.

"Why not? She has been by herself for the past 3 years of her life, she can be alone for one more night." She said harshly.

"No, not anymore. Because I am here."

"Yes, but for how long? For how long until you leave me too? How long will it be until you've had enough of me. Just like my dad, just like Junhyun.. like my mother left me. Eventually you will leave me too." Mina said now facing me, tears threaning to pour.

"If you're going to cry just cry, why are you forcing them. If you keep bottling your feelings up like that one day they will come back to you. You can cry on my shoulder if you want." I said trying to get her to open herself up to me for the first time.

"Yah Myungsoo, if you want to be my comfort zone you must watch out. I'm pretty messed up you know that? Maybe I should've let you know that before. Do you know I never cried once in my life? Not even when my father left me or when my mother died, not even once have I cried infront of anybody. What makes you think I will do that in front of you? What can you do for me?" Mina's words cut me like knife, but I knew she meant none of those. She was just angry and upset.

"Then tell me what I can do for you... And I'll do it."

"What you can for me? Bring me back my mum." Mina said and then she let her tears fall down her cheek, never in my life have I ever seen someone so broken and upset in my life. 

"Bring me back my old life, where everyone around me was happy. Don't you know? If your around me your bound for misery. Myungsoo escape while you can. My father left me and my mum as soon as she fell ill. This is how people are when things get tough they leave. They just leave. So leave." She said crying harder now.

"I would never... Mina why would I espace? Why would I ever leave you.... Maybe because I like you a lot, and maybe my feelings for you are more stronger then you think. Mina why can't you just trust me? Why.... don't you like me?" I said sadly.

"NO! That's the thing, I like you so much I could die from it. Everyday all I think about is you, every time I can't turn it off, help me turn it off. I'm scared of disappointing you and I'm scared that if one day something bad happens you won't be around to help me up when I fall. Kim Myungsoo, don't you know how much I like you, but what can I do when all I do for you is bring sadness and misery." Mina got up. "I'm going for a walk, don't come to me."

She got home and started walking.

"Yah Choi Mina! Stop right there." I said walking towards her. "You don't know how beautiful you are when your mad right? Wow, Mina you're driving me crazy. If I tell you I like you and if I tell you I won't leave you can't you just trust me? Why are you making feels so complicated and hurting me so much? You like me right? So shouldn't it be that simple? I miss you when you're not around and I miss you even when you are. Instead of keeping everything inside, can't you just trust me and take my hand? I'll be your secret hideout. Cry in front of me, hit me, hurt me... But please don't leave me. Just like you said... I like you so much I could die."

"What?" Mina said turning around.

"This isn't a day where you should cry. Don't you think you're mother would be said if she  knew you were? Her heart probably hurts right now. Remember all the good time you had together, it's okay to cry just don't hold it in or else it will drive you crazy. Trust me I know from experience."

"Myungsoo..." Mina trailed off.

"I'm not done yet..." I stopped and grabbed hold of Mina, I looked into her eyes and leaned foward slowly, glancing at her I could feel her heart was pounding as her stomach refused to sit still, her eyes unable to meet mine my arm reach around her, pulling her in for a hug. If anything could make her feel safe, it was a hug. I leaned in as she closed her eyes. But before my lips met hers, I could hear footsteps behind us and Mina looked breaking our almost kiss.

I looked at a guy standing there, he was tall with light hair staring directly at Mina. My eyes glanced at me and saw worry and sadness over come her.

"Junhyun." she whispered.

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Hey guys sorry for the long wait, here is another chapter. This one is pretty heated... Sorry for the "ALMOST KISS" hahaha I'm evil xD

Damn Junhyun!!!!

Since it was Christmas two days ago this seemed fitting ^^

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