They had told Jiyong he could take Youngbae home now, the doctors.

----------

"We decided that, since you are not leaving Mr. Dong's side for a second, it would be more convenient for the both of you if we released him from here. What I am trying to say is, it would not make any difference, right?" , the Doctor said before smiling a million dollar smile with his white teeth.

Jiyong smiled back weakly. He knew the man was right. But, was this something he should laugh about? After all, sitting beside Youngbae's bed and watching his tanned skin go pale and his strong body go weak was not his hobby or something. It was his duty, as a friend, as a lover and as air. Air that Youngbae needed desperately after being apart for such a long time.

"Thank you, Doctor."

"Well then, I will see you on Mr. Dong's next appointment. The patient should not overexert, yet, experience has taught me that fresh air and social interaction can work wonders. For the psychological aspect, the latter is especially important, if you consider that such an illness can make people feel depressed easily. However, I do not worry about that, since his condition only got better after you appearing here, Mr. Kwon."

"I will make sure he will get even better - physically as well as mentally."

"Surely. Well then, goodbye." The tall doctor with the bright smile showed his perfect teeth for the last time before turning around in order to leave. Just then, when Jiyong saw his white back, he felt like he had to ask the question he had been afraid of asking all the time.

"Doc..Doctor!" 

The medic turned around. "Yes please?"

"Youngbae...I mean, Mr. Dong...will he recover?" 

The two man stared at each other for a while, one waiting for an answer, the other sighing heavily.

"We are doing our best."

----------

Jiyong was chewing his lower lip, trying to figure out what those words could mean. He needed to stop for his own good, though before those fears would overwhelm him again. He had already damned his heart for being so emotional, but his mind was ten times worse because it was forcing him to think about those words all the time, repeating them like his Ipod when it got stucked on replay.

' We are doing our best.'

Did that mean he was going to...?

"What are you thinking about?" , Youngbae asked, poking his lover's forehead with a spoon.

It was then when the cold metal took Jiyong back to reality, to the cafe he and Bae were sitting in. He flinched a bit and looked into those crescent eyes.

"Nothing, have you decided what you want to eat?" 

"Yes. I want...hm.. a hamburger!"  

Jiyong smiled. "I saw that coming, you fast-food junkee."

"Yah, have you ever eaten hospital food? It tastes...just eww." Youngbae shivered at the thought of it only, causing Jiyong to chuckle.

"No, and I don't think I want to taste it after seeing your reaction...Waiter?" He made a sign with his hand, calling a young man to their table and telling them their orders. 

"Jiyong, what about you?" , Youngbae asked when he noticed his lover had not ordered anything for himself.

"Nah, I will just steal some of your fries. You will let me, won't you?"

"You have become thin..."

"Look who is talking.."

"Jiyong, I got a reason for being like this."

"And I got, too : I am not hungry."

"No." Youngbae shook his head, staring at the tabletop thoughtfully. "No, that's not the reason."

Jiyong wanted to prostest, but all he managed to do was parting his lips before his other half took his hand in his. He felt his lovers thumb caressing the back of his hand slowly and it was such a simple touch, yet it felt so good.

" I am the reason. I made you worried and I still do." In the cafe, there were a lot of people chatting about this and that. However, in that very moment, only Youngbae's whisper could be heard. He stared into Jiyong's eyes sincerely and yet so sadly, guiltily. He knew his lover's soft heart, he knew Jiyong would not stand it if he broke up with him, not to mention his own broken heart when he had to tell those lies to him: 'I have found someone else, I am leaving you, Jiyong'  Youngbae wanted to punch himself so badly for creating the nightmare his lover had lived in and still was living now. But what else could he have done? All he ever wanted was protecting Jiyong from harm, even if that meant that he had to stay away from him. A part of Youngbae had wanted him to move on, to hate him so much that he would not shed a tear in case he would leave this world forever. Yet, the other part had been selfish. Picturing Jiyong with someone else had caused so many sleepless nights. Staying away from the sweet air he needed made him nearly breathless.

"Wh..What are you talking about?" Jiyong tightened his grip on Youngbae's hand, leaning forward in order to carress his cheek gently. "As long as you are here with me, I don't worry about anything. I don't need anything either. You know...before we were apart...you were always there. Whenever I had bad times, I knew you would be there. It was a naturalness to me. But when you vanished all of a sudden...I felt odd. Most of all, I realized how important you are to me. I realized how much I need you, Youngbae and I realized how selfish I had been. I mean, all this time, it was about me, me and me. Now that it is about you, I want to be there for you. I never want to leave your side ever again, Youngbae."

"Jiyong...I missed you so much..", was the only thing his lover could breath as a response. He touched the hand that was caressing his cheek and leaned his face into the palm, kissing it lovingly.

"Young..Youngbae, we are in public." , Jiyong remarked, blushing shyly and smiling. It had always been like this. Even the softest touch of his lover would melt him into a little puddle of nothing. Not that he hated that feeling. Actually, he even loved it. And he had missed it.

If it wasn't for the waiter who came toward their table a second later, Jiyong would have let Youngbae continue soothing him with his tender touches. However, he took his hands back quickly, feeling his cheeks getting warm. His lover only chuckeled.

"Finally, my hamburger is there!" He rubbed his hands in anticipation, grinning at Jiyong. "You promised you would eat my fries, so..."

"Alright, alright. You just start eating now."

With that, Jiyong leaned back and watched, feeling his heart pounding again. It was beating for the man in front of him rapidly. Maybe that was why he felt a slight pain in his chest when the docotor's words were repeated in his head again.

'We are doing our best:'

They might do their best. But Jiyong knew, he would do everything to keep Youngbae alive.

----------

Time passed, fries were eaten and thoughtful glances were stolen by the time the two of them arrived in their apartment. Luckily, Jiyong had cleaned the mess up when Youngbae was still at the hospital, just in case that he would come back home. Especially the 'love dust' could not be seen anymore, as well as the broken mirror Jiyong had punched or the clothes lying everywhere in the bedroom. He had picked them up. He liked them again.

"It feels good to be at home." Youngbae smiled when he entered their little apartment. He did not seem to notice any differences and his boyfriend was really glad about it. If he had seen it a month before..oh well, good that he hadn't.

"You, go and take a shower ", Jiyong said while unpacking Youngbae's rucksack, folding his clothes neatly and putting them into the cupboard. " while I organize your stuff. Oh, and also take your medicine. I think it's still in my..."

"Jiyong..." He felt two arms wrapped around his waist from behind and two warm lips on his shoulder. "Do you...remember what I told you when we were at the cafe?"

The younger man bit his lip, leaning his head back and touching the hands on his body. "You told me many things, pabo. How should I know?", he asked quietly.

He shivered when those warm lips kissed the exposed skin on the side of his neck. "I told you I missed you."

"Hm, Youngbae.." He did not know if he was calling his name because he wanted him to stop or because he felt a sudden fire rising in his body.

"If only...I weren't so weak right now.." , the older one spoke against his neck.

Jiyong bit his lip. He wanted it,too, so much that it was burning him. But he knew, they could not. He unwrapped those arms that used to be so muscular and turned around, smiling. "Soon, very soon. I promise." He pecked those lips lovingly before going back to unpacking those clothes. It was hard to ignore the sudden feeling in him though. 

Later, just when he wanted to lie down next to the sleeping Youngbae, the door bell rang. Jiyong walked to the door, expecting either Daesung, Seunghyun or Seungri. Most likely Seungri. But no.

When he opened the door, who greeted him was...

That girl.