But I Love You

Chapter Twelve

Siwon was worrying his bottom lip in between his teeth, while hiding.

Ever since Seung Hyun had started to gain his cat qualities, he and Siwon had decided to test out exactly what he could do- without having his father experiment on him. Seung Hyun was an amazing tracker, better than a dog, but what Siwon could never understand was what kind of cat Seung Hyun was, or how it worked. His condition didn’t make any sense. But right now Siwon was just glad that Seung Hyun had so many incredible abilities- even if sometimes the neko could be a bit clumsy.

“Do you see him?” he hissed.

Seung Hyun suddenly landed in front of him, his eyes reflecting light and glowing. “No, I don’t see him!” he harshly whispered, making Siwon frown, and cross his arms.

“We’ve been looking for them for a few days, where can he be?” Siwon wondered, mostly to himself, but his irritated voice was clear to Seung Hyun’s kitty ears. He didn’t want to tell his cousin that it was hopeless, and that Hee Chul and whoever else was living with him were gone. It was only natural that they would be after giving so much information away. “Where else could we look?” Siwon continued to ponder.

Seung Hyun shrugged his shoulders as he watched the low sun of the late evening, but turned his attention towards his pocket when he felt his cell phone vibrate. He pulled it out, and frowned when he saw that it was a text message from his father, calling him to return, and had something important to tell him. “We better get going; we can come up with a new plan later,”

“Seung Hyun, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for this,”

“Mean what? It wasn’t like you told Hee Chul to do this,” Seung Hyun said, starting to make his way towards the park. Siwon stayed behind, for a few seconds watching his cousin.

“That’s not what I meant,” Siwon whispered, and got into the car were Seung Hyun was already sitting in the passenger seat, messing around with the radio in front of him. He had not told Seung Hyun, but on every one of their search parties, he had been letting Dong Wook know that they had lost complete track of Hee Chul. Now there was a new decision that was going to be made if they were going to keep him safe.

And it was going to end up hurting Seung Hyun.

It was a bit past dinner time, and Ji Yong found himself still sitting in his seat, his head on the table top as he flicked his finger on the screen of his phone. His ears were restless as was his tail that kept flicking from side to side, looking as if it was annoyed. He was staring at the contacts list, circling Seung Hyun’s name over and over…

How long had it been since he had spoken to or seen his boyfriend? Maybe a day or two? Maybe just a few hours… but, Damn, did it feel like an eternity. No matter what span of time he spent away from Seung Hyun always seemed to drag on, and he had ran out of things that he could do to distract him. He couldn’t help but pray that Seung Hyun would call him already. He kept begging him in his mind to call him. Anything, just to hear his voice! Anything to be able to kiss him again. But nothing happened, and his phone didn’t ring, didn’t signal a text, and Seung Hyun had said not to call. Had said something about a family emergency going on and that he was going to be unable to go out with him for a while- or even talk to him.

He had tried to stalk Seung Hyun- but the place where he worked was closed down completely!

“Ji Yong, what are you doing?” Seungri asked as he entered the kitchen, wondering why the lights were still on. He was surprised to find his son there. More especially he was surprise to see that Ji Yong looked so fidgety.

“Praying for Seung Hyun to call me,” The blond haired neko muttered as he sat up, and leaned back in the chair, turning to look at his appa.

Seungri frowned, taking a seat beside Ji Yong, “Why hasn’t he called you?”

Ji Yong puffed his cheeks out, “Family thing, emergency or the other,”

Seungri rolled his eyes at his sulking son, before he patted him on the head. “What if I make you some warm milk and you tell me about your boyfriend? It might help take your mind away from the fact that he hasn’t been able to call you yet.” He offered.

Ji Yong nodded his head, smiling. “Okay,” Seungri got up and started to warm up some milk. It didn’t take long for him to pour the milk into two tall cups, and handed one to Ji Yong whom was trying hard not to keep looking at Seung Hyun’s name and number on his phone.

“So, tell me what you like most about him,” Seungri asked.

“His eyes!” Ji Yong said, and then shook his head, “No, his mouth…his voice! Ah, I know his hair…no his hands…but his legs are also…and his…”

“Stop!” Seungri said, making Ji Yong blush and look down. “It seems like you like a lot about him…”

“I like all of him,” Ji Yong whispered, shocked that he couldn’t choose just one thing. He loved all of Seung Hyun.

“I’m afraid to ask,” Seungri said, shaking his head, “Alright, even his personality?”

“Love it!” Ji Yong smiled again. “He’s funny, and sometimes he acts like a five year old, but he’s still amazing. He can talk very deeply…sometimes about things I don’t understand, but I try to pretend that I do because it means something to him, before I shut him up by kissing him…” Ji Yong placed his fist into his other hand, a smirk on his face, “Then he really doesn’t know how to make sentences!”

“Seems like you like someone very interesting,” Seungri sighed, trying not to judge the fact that his son was very eager when it came to Seung Hyun. He just didn’t need to know that they kissed and might be doing other things already- seriously- he smirked “He could be asking you to be his husband and you sound like you wouldn’t understand what he said,”

“Dad, it’s not like that!” Ji Yong huffed, “I mean that Seung Hyun is into a lot of things, like different subjects in mathematics, science, language, and anthropology…also acting and the psychology behind it all” Ji Yong shrugged his shoulders, “I guess I’m just not well versed in the sciences and those anthropology things…or whatever else he talks about. It’s just a bit boring, and it goes over my head,”

“But shouldn’t you be interested in the same?” Seungri asked, “Your dad practically studied many kinds of sciences; I would have thought that you would pick up on it,” Come to think about it, Seungri himself wasn’t into anything that had to do with science.

Ji Yong made a growly sound, “I think I take after you, appa,” the blond looked at his father, “You know, in the arts, and anything creative. You were a dance instructor, weren’t you?” Seungri nodded his head. He missed those days.

“Science is creative,” Young Bae argued as he entered the kitchen and invaded their conversation.

“No it’s not!” Ji Yong grumbled, “A bunch of cells and atoms all changing to complicated things, my ,”

“A lot of cellular division happening there as well son,” Young Bae joked.

“Aish” Ji Yong chocked on his milk as he had been drinking it, and Seungri began to laugh uncontrollably, welcoming his husband to sit beside him. “Dad! That’s just wrong,” the neko hissed, glaring at his dad now.

“Why is everything in this house so stifling serious all of a sudden, really,” Young Bae asked, looking around him, but mostly to his two loves- his husband and his son. There was nothing better in the world than having his family with him. He wouldn’t trade it for the world.

“Our son is missing his knight in shining armor,” Seungri batted his eyelashes making Young Bae smile at him, while trying to hold off his laughter.

“Appa, he’s not my knight in shining armor, Omo, that sounds so creepy,” Ji Yong hissed, glaring at both his fathers now. He was just a bit now from pouting at both of them.

“Then what would you call him?” Seungri challenged.

“He’s…uh…my partner in crime,” Ji Yong offered, for lack of better term. He really was not sure what he would officially call Seung Hyun, but for now that seemed to fit it. Seungri and Young Bae both stared at their son with awed look on their faces before they bursted out laughing uncontrollably.

“He’s so cute!” Seungri giggled, and Young Bae shook his head, fondly smiling.

“Well, he is your son,” Young Bae said, making Seungri playfully slap his arm.

“Yah, he’s yours as well!”

“You guys, this isn’t helping me in missing Seung Hyun any less! I miss him more!!” Ji Yong complained and both his parents stopped bickering to look at him.

“It’s not like you are married to him,” Young Bae said, and Seungri nodded his head in agreement.

“How can you miss him so much already?”

“I don’t know, I just do,” Ji Yong said. He didn’t want to tell his parents, but without Seung Hyun around, he felt cold and lonely. If he could, he would sleep and hold on to Seung Hyun all the time, and never let go. He missed him now like he had never missed anyone before, so it was hard for him to explain what he was feeling. “And I will marry him,”

“Did he propose?” Seungri asked, sounding a bit shocked at the admission.

“No, but I’m hoping that he will,” Ji Yong grinned.

“You two have only been dating for a couple of weeks though” Young Bae pointed out, frowning at how attached his son was already. He really was Seungri’s son. But all he could think was that if Seung Hyun meant this much to Ji Yong, and if he was really like his father, they were going to have to already consider Seung Hyun part of their family.

“So,” Ji Yong shrugged his shoulder.

“Oh God, he really is like you,”

“Yah! He’s like you as well. You proposed to me, remember”

“And you rejected me!” Young Bae said, “Besides, you proposed first,”

“And you rejected me as well,” Seungri glared at Young Bae.

“You were stalking me!”

Ji Yong sighed, getting up from the table. He walked away from his arguing parents and went to his room, looking once more at his phone. Seung Hyun’s name flashing on it once more. Ji Yong just couldn’t take his eyes away from it as he fell onto his bed, gazing at his phone with a tiny frown on his lips.

Call me soon.

Dong Wook had thought long and hard about what Siwon had told him, on everything that had to do with Hee Chul. The only name that came to mind was Lee Seon Woong- there was no one else that it could be. That man would do anything to chance the world race, and to think that he was already working on form of reproduction it worried him. Was Yang still around? What was going on in the Labs? Dong Wook still didn’t know if it was possible for two males to make a child- if he allowed Seung Hyun and Ji Yong to remain together and let them figure that they are the same.

But then again, both he and Young Bae had used outside methods to impregnate two different people. One female and one male- this played a huge factor in the biology if their children. They went with risks that there could be odd changes included.

Although Seung Hyun didn’t like it, he had allowed him to check him and as proven, his son was one hundred percent male- with no female reproduction qualities. But he was not sure about Young Bae’s son, the biology and serum used there could have been different since his lover was male, and there was no way that he was going to even suggest experimenting on someone that was not used to it.

It worried him though- what kind of wicked thoughts could be running in Seon Woong’s mind? How had he even come up with mixing humans with machine…it was absurd and inhumane! Not that what was done to his son and maybe many others, but this had to stop. But for everything that was done when it came to the world of technology, there was a way to undo it. Dong Wook was very aware of this, and had already started working on nano cellular cells that would latch onto machine and human, devouring and deleting any metal material that a machine could be made off, as well as human skin, and any other similar substance to skin and rubber. It was difficult to find the right mix, and so far he had failed.

Still, it was something that could also place his son in danger if it worked, but he had to do it also if he was going to protect him- but this was their problem and no one else’s. He was going to pack up his family and move- leave- so that danger could be place away from Young Bae and his family. After all, Young Bae had struggled to hide his family, it was the least that he could do now.  He had talked about his decision with his wife- but he had yet to mention it to Seung Hyun.

That is why he had texted him.

 “Dad,” Seung Hyun said as he walked into his father’s lab. The man had texted him there earlier, but Seung Hyun had been with Siwon at the time. He wanted to call Ji Yong so much, but neither Siwon nor his dad were letting him, so he was hoping to hear some good news. He was alraedy doing anything to keep himself from calling Ji Yong up. He missed his boyfriend like crazy, but he was staying away as his dad had asked him to.

“Ah, Seung Hyun, finally,” the man huffed.

“I didn’t take that long,” Seung Hyun scowled, making his father chuckle.

“I know son, it’s just that what I’m about to ask you isn’t exactly easy,” Dong Wook said, making Seung Hyun raise an eyebrow, “I don’t even think that there is a right way to say it,”

“What is it?” Seung Hyun asked.

“Seung Hyun I…” Dong Wook hesitated. He knew how much his son was already taken with Ji Yong. He knew this and yet, at the same time he feared now. He was doing this to protect the both of them. It had to be done! “I…Oh God, son…”

“What’s wrong dad? Are you okay?” Seung Hyun asked with concerned as he neared his father even more.

“Seung Hyun please don’t hate me,”

“Dad…?”

“I need you to break up with Ji Yong. I’m sorry but, if what Siwon said was true then…”

“But you yourself said that I was not affected by the experiment you and mom partook in, I can’t have children! It would foil their plans”

“That’s not true, you’re able to have kids Seung Hyun. With a woman you could have children,” Dong Wook said.

“Ji Yong is not a woman dad” Seung Hyun tried to make sense of it. “I couldn’t get him pregnant and he wouldn’t be able to get me pregnant. Besides, he’s human. Aren’t we two different species?” he questioned.

That was the bad thing as well. Seung Hyun and Ji Yong were still clueless about each other. The irony of it almost made Dong Wook want to laugh. God, he and Young Bae had such thick headed sons. “Look, Seung Hyun, if you love and want to protect Ji Yong—you will stay away from him. Not to mention that we are going to move away now,” Dong Wook looked away, “and sadly that means breaking up with him. He should never have to be exposed to this world” he looked around him, signaling to everything.

Seung Hyun looked as well, before looking down and his hands. “When did you make the decision to move away? I love him dad, I love him so much. I might not be human but my feelings are just as real as any human would have. I can’t…I wouldn’t be able to break up with him. I won’t go.”

“Then you better become one hell of a good actor and do it,” Dong Wook said, “There are sometimes things that you would have to do that you don’t like. I’m sorry, but you are coming with me and your mother”

“You’re not making me,” Seung Hyun hissed, “You get to be with mom, the woman that you love and now…you want me to leave the only person that I have ever felt something for?”

“Ji Yong can’t be the only one that you’ve ever loved”

“Besides you and mom, there was no one I felt anything for.”

“Not even Siwon?” Dong Wook asked, perplexed.

“Dad, don’t act like you have never experimented on me. You know how feelings work in me. Siwon is someone I trust, and someone that is familiar and been around, but there is no real connection between us. I wouldn’t miss him the way I would miss Ji Yong if he suddenly decided to leave.”

“But you care enough that you would protect him, and that is love as well, Seung Hyun. I know that you still have some human feelings in you,”

“That’s keeping the pack alive,” Seung Hyun bared his fangs.

“When did we become your pack in your mind Seung Hyun?” Dong Wook asked.

Seung Hyun smirked, “Oh, dad, I’m part cat. Do you really think I care if you and mom were to abandon me?” Dong Wook flinched at that. “I won’t leave Ji Yong,”

Dong Wook glared at his son, and frostily told him, “Then good luck trying to keep him out of this world, because he’s going to suffer.”

Seung Hyun hesitated then. His words sounded so cold even in his head, but it was what always made sense to him. It wasn’t like cats actually traveled in packs or looked hard for companionship. They just always went with what was familiar- nothing else. The only ones that they were really affectionate with was with their parents, or the ones that took care of them. Seung Hyun had parents and cousins that took care of him. That loved him. But it was not the same if you added Ji Yong to it.

He didn’t want to let go of Ji Yong at all.

“Dad I…” Seung Hyun felt tears run down his eyes. Dong Wook sighed and walked over to his son, wrapping him in a tight hug. No matter how old he got, how he acted, or how much of an adult Seung Hyun presented himself as, to Dong Wook, he would always be his baby boy.

“I know Seung Hyun, I know…” He held his crying son close to his chest and allowed the neko his moment of weakness. Seung Hyun remained crying in his father’s arms, unable to control his feelings at the thought of having to break up with Ji Yong.  

When the Neko had calmed down, it was midnight. Seung Hyun was in one of the beds in his father’s lab, and he could hear the man walking around, singing as he worked. But his thoughts were not on his father as much as they were on Ji Yong, his boyfriend. There were millions of things running through his mind. One of the bigger ones being how did one go about dumping the person that one loves? He had no desire to tell Ji Yong that their barely starting relationship was going to have to be over.

There was just no way…

…And yet…

Seung Hyun reached into his pocket, and he pulled out his cell phone. The front wall paper on his phone was a picture of both him and Ji Yong. They were sitting in an office chair, with Ji Yong on his lap, and they were both grinning at the camera with silly looks. He remembered that day as if it had been yesterday.

He and Ji Yong had been hanging out in his office, after hours. No one else was around then, and Ji Yong had decided to climb on his lap to get his attention. He had still been working on something that he wanted to have finished by the next morning, but it didn’t seem like he was going to get to finish it now that his boyfriend was there.

The seat had rolled a bit back, and then both of them had nearly screamed as the seat tilted back, just a bit, and then it held. For a moment they thought that they were going to fall over, but they hadn’t. It made them laugh instead. Seung Hyun had then pulled out his cell phone, saying that they needed a picture of this moment when they had defied gravity.

And thus, the picture came to be one of the fondest memories that he had with Ji Yong. A brief smile graced Seung Hyun’s face as he traced his thumb over the image, and then the smile disappeared. The screen of his phone went dark as he sat up.

He could feel his heart getting crushed under the despair of what he was going to have to do.

Ever since the day that Siwon had told him and his dad about Hee Chul’s part in this, they had decided to keep a closer eye on him. Hee Chul was smart. He had moved away from where he used to reside, and now there was an elderly couple living there, as if Hee Chul had never lived in the house. This had caused both Siwon and Dong Wook to become more skittish about the fact that someone was targeting Seung Hyun.

As cold as it sounded, Seung Hyun really didn’t care about things that didn’t seem to effect him at the moment. What he cared about was getting on with his life, but he found it hard to do when there was family clinging to him, and dragging him back to the harsh reality. He wasn’t human; he was some sort of mutant with cat qualities. He defied the laws in nature that seemed completely impossible- and unnatural. He couldn’t properly socialize with anyone. Being with a human female would be pointless; his reproductive gametes were different than a normal human. He had cat ears protruding out of his head, and a cat tail that had a mind of its own.

There was no time when it came to him. There was no time to wait and see what the reaction of another being that he felt something for would be when it came to what he was.

What would Ji Yong think about him anyways? That he was a freak was the most likely answer to that.

Getting to his feet, Seung Hyun glanced over to his father. The man looked at him but didn’t say anything and went back to working. Seung Hyun could see that his dad was giving him room so that he could think about what he was going to do next. But there was no doubt in his mind as to what that was going to be.

Turning away from his father, he slowly walked out of the lab and got into the elevator. Seung Hyun felt numb as he headed down, and then walked across the empty, cold, dark first floor, and opened the door, before locking it behind himself. He sighed, throwing his head back a bit once he was outside, and took a deep breath. The refreshing air did nothing to relieve any of the pain that he was currently feeling in his chest.

It was a full moon. Seung Hyun stared at the round glowing moon as he made his way to his car, his hand shaking as he reached for the door handle. He missed twice, before his hand gripped it, and he opened the door, before sliding into the passenger seat. The keys were held tightly in his hand, thumbing at the unlocking setting, before he roughly pushed the one key into the ignition. Seung Hyun closed the door of his car, and curled his hands over the stirring wheel, feeling a bit angry at the world around him, but largely at himself.

He could protect Ji Yong! He could keep him, he knew that he could. But he was also scared. What if he couldn’t protect him? What if he hurt him? His would was dangerous if you thought about it. Everything that his dad had told him and taught him didn’t really leave room to say that things were not dangerous. They were.

Then it would be his fault if Ji Yong got hurt because he was selfish for wanting to keep him.

He was going to have to break up with him, even if it hurt.  

Seung Hyun pressed down on the gas, racing through the streets as fast as he could. Most of the lights were green, and the streets were mostly empty, so he made it home in no time. Once there, he stumbled out of his car, slamming the door closed and went into his house. It was quiet, and the room was dark. His mother was more than likely asleep already- but that didn’t matter. Nothing really mattered anymore.

He was tired, angry, and sad.

Seung Hyun entered his room, softly closing the door, before he slid down against it. For a moment he just breathed, trying hard to veer his thoughts to other things, but he had to do the unavoidable. His fingers held at the side of his phone, before it came on, and he scrolled through the touch screen, his eyes tiredly reading every app.

He clicked right into his contacts list, and once more scrolled through all his contacts. He then picked Ji Yong’s name out of the bunch, and asked to send a text message. He didn’t think that he could call. Hearing Ji Yong’s voice would make him sound like something was wrong. Tonight there was nothing that he could do. But tomorrow, he was going to be strong. Tomorrow he was going to be able to do this.

Tomorrow…he would break up with Ji Yong.

But how did you go about breaking up with your heart? 

Pressing the heels of his hands to his tired eyes, Seung Hyun let his phone fall to his side. The phone hit the floor hard, snapping off the back, and landing open with the battery by its side.

If Ji Yong replied, he didn’t know what it would be or what he would say. He didn’t think that he could ignore Ji Yong if he ever responded or called him.

He needed a new phone anyways.

Ji Yong was curled around his fluffy pillow, finally having fallen asleep. His phone was just out of his reach on a pillow beside the one that he was curled into. His phone vibrated a couple of times, brightly shinning as Seung Hyun’s name flashed on the screen, but he didn’t wake up. Instead he mumbled, snuggling deeply into his pillow as he kept dreaming.

The phones stopped vibrating, and soon the light slowly dimmed, until it was dark again.