Three hundred sixty-four days have passed. The four seasons each had their turns and yet two hearts still longed for an answer to a question that was never asked..

'Why did you leave me?'

It was nobody’s fault. Yixing was an introvert; and Joonmyun more so. Both were shy and never really opened up to each other. ‘If we were like this all along, how were we able to last that long?' Joonmyun asked himself one night, when he paused for moment to take a sip of his hot tea. Other than that, he had way too many questions on his mind but was too shy to open up to anyone. Yixing was probably the only exception--- or not.

"Joonmyun-ah! Mrs. Jefferson said to tell you to buy a cake from that café down the block. And also grab a bottle of wine at Harley's on your way back." This order came from Kris, his roommate in a small apartment in New York; he was lucky to have found someone so fluent in speaking Korean. He decided to leave Korea after months of wasting his time gulping bottles of soju and sleeping in karaoke rooms to study business because apparently his father still had some faith in him to let him take over their huge-scale family business when he dies Leaving the country was his best decision yet. He got busy, found himself a boyfriend (who married some girl because he got her pregnant) and tried to his best to get over Yixing.

"Okay Yifan, I got it." Suho grabbed his coat, a pair of mittens and a scarf from a rack nearby before going out to grab what their landlady needed. Saddened that his mittens didn't really do any justice for their purpose, he placed his hands on his pockets and ran towards the cafe. "Aish~ and I thought this would be a nice time for me to enjoy the city lights during Christmas. I really have to buy a new pair of mittens," he muttered as he entered the café.

The chimes from the main door rang as a customer entered the shop. Lay instantly flashed a smiled and drew closer to the counter. "Hello and good evening ma'am. How may I help you?" His sweet-like-honey voice rang through the ears of the lady customer in front of him. The lady was stunned for a little while before she was able to get back to her senses and give her order. Yixing, or rather Lay, was a sensation. Since he got the job two months ago, more customers came to this small and remote café. Who wouldn’t like to grab a coffee on a tiny café when the barista was hella gorgeous?

Lay rushed to make the order, not forgetting to pass his counter-job to his workmate, Kai, who was just as gorgeous as him. It was then that Joonmyun came in.

"Hello sir! Welcome to Le Petite Café! How may I help you?" Kai chirped but as soon as he realized Joonmyun was Korean, he quickly uttered,"어모! 한국사람이예요??" Suho simply nodded. Kai was blabbering non-stop about how happy he was to have finally met another Korean but he soon realized that he was at work (he was lucky enough that not much people were at the café at that time). "I'm sorry I totally forgot. What do you need..."

"Joonmyun. They call me 'Jun' here."

Hearing that voice made Lay stop in his tracks. Yixing was certain it was Joonmyun. His Joonmyun.

Suddenly, his stomach churned, his body stiffened. Feeling himself go numb, he accidentally dropped the cup he was holding. He was not ready to face him now. Well, at least not yet. Why did he have to appear now?

Kai rushed to his side and checked him out, not knowing that he also got Joonmyun's attention. At that moment, after one painful year of not seeing each other, their gazes met. Without any second thoughts, Joonmyun ran towards him and took the taller male's hand in his. "Why can't you be more careful? Have you forgotten that you're not supposed to get hurt or you'll bleed non-stop?" Joonmyun was almost frantic as he grabbed a handkerchief from one of his pockets before carefully binding it on Yixing's bleeding palm. "Kai, please get a first-aid kit while I go call an ambulance. Please."

There was a hint of worry in Joonmyun's voice, something Yixing has never heard in months. He was sad and at the same time, glad. Finally, after a year, 365 days, he finally heard his voice. But it was a worried expression he was seeing on his ex-lovers face, and tears were welling up on his eyes. Joonmyun was calling for an ambulance, eyes still fixed on his bleeding hand. Kai was back with the first-aid kit and almost instantly, Joonmyun rushed back to Yixing's side.

As Joonmyun expected, Yixing collapsed before the ambulance even arrived. He knew this would happen sooner or later.

Things were happening too fast that Kai realized too late that Jun and Lay may have been close acquaintances before. Based on how Jun took care of Lay, he knew there was 'something fishy' between the two males.

They were finally at the hospital. Yixing was sound asleep as Joonmyun watched over him.  Joonmyun had not let go of Yixing’s hand since then. ‘My biggest regret was letting go of this hand once, but never again, Yixing. Never,’ he softly spoke as he tightened his grip on the latter's hand. Kai suddenly came in through the curtains and tapped Jun's shoulder, a silent signal for him to step outside for a moment.

"How did you know Lay?

"He was my...my high school...c-c-classmate. Yes, classmate."

"Doesn't look like it to me. Seems like you two have been in a relationship before or somethin'..."

Joonmyun's eyes widened in surprise. 'Contrary to his innocent-looking face, this guy’s more observant than I thought!'

"Yeah. You're right. He is-- I mean, was-- my boyfriend. My first actually," Joonmyun blurted out shyly as his fingers fidgeted.

"So I suppose you already know about his disease."

"What disease?"

"H-he...never told you?"

"No."

Kai bowed his head a bit and let out a low sob.

"Yixing. Jun-ah, He... he's dying."

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Yixing finally woke up. Slowly turning to his left, he saw the window pane filled with tons of white snow. He turned to his right and saw a beautiful creature firmly gripping his hand like it would cause his death if he ever let go. Yixing smiled from ear to ear, and he couldn’t help his tears from falling down his cheeks. He sobbed as quietly as he could so as not to wake the man beside him. When Joonmyun finally woke up from his nap, he smiled gently at Yixing who was pretending to be asleep. Joonmyun couldn’t help but squeal mentally at the sight of his ex-lover sleeping. He had always loved looking at the serenity on Yixing’s face whenever he slept. Suddenly, Yixing crinkles his eyes open and sees a smiling Joonmyun. Fighting the urge take the man into his arms, he clenched his hands into fists and bit his lower lip.

"준면아...안녕!" Yixing softly chirped and that was more than enough to break Joonmyun’s cool façade.

"Though it seemed like forever, I’m glad I finally got to hear you call my name again, Yixing." For the record, it was the first time Joonmyun talked so openly about his feelings.

It happened today.

December 24, 2013. New York District Hospital.

Yixing sat up and let his hand touch the crying man’s cheeks, wiping his tears. "Yixing-ah..."

"Hmmm?"

"Wh-- w-why...d-did you...leave me?"

Now the tears flowed non-stop. He was supposed to be congratulating himself for being able to hold it back for a year but tonight, he officially failed. His throat hurt, his mouth felt dry, his heart wanted to burst as his mind was silently telling him to speak up… because of all people, Joonmyun deserved to know.

"I... I didn't want... you to waste your time on a dying man like me." He wiped his tears off his face and attempted to compose himself. Finally, he was ready to tell it all to the man he loved-- or rather, the man he loves. "You are a good man, Joonmyun. Sometimes, I think you’re even way too good for the likes of me. But I loved that about you—your excellence and imperfections. Basically, I love everything about you. It was the reason why I never hesitated to ask you out, though it really started as a consequence from a bet."

He cleared his throat before he took a deep breath and continued, "With you, my heart felt safe, secure and loved. I couldn't ask for more because you were everything I have ever wanted. But days before our second Christmas together, my psychotic mom came home and cut open a wound on my arm. That's when I knew I had *von Willebrand Disease, a blood coagulation disease. It’s the reason why I always bleed a lot no matter how small a cut I had. Lately, it got worse. My doctor back in Korea told me that I have only a fifty-percent chance to live that's why I ran to your house that night and cried my heart out. And two days after, I broke off all ties with you."

Joonmyun was stunned. It took a few seconds for him to register what his lover just confessed and when the words had finally sunk in, he broke down. He fell on his knees as he cried.

Yixing had never seen this side of Joonmyun. Of all the men he met in his life, he knew Joonmyun was the type one would least expect to break down and cry in front of someone. The strong walls Joonmyun had put up around himself were destroyed one by one, all because of one man. And he regretted nothing.

'It's for Yixing. It's for My Yixing. My baby deserves to see this side of me, and so much more.”

Joonmyun continued to let out sobs that were painful for Yixing to hear. He was also tearing up but he was trying his best to hold the tears at bay. Joonmyun might not want to see him cry especially at this very moment.

"I came here when I found out it was here that you came to study. That was two months ago. I told myself that at least, if I actually die soon, I'd be leaving you with something of myself. That’s why I worked my off the past month, just so I can give you something before I go. "

"Xing-ah, don't talk that way. You're not gonna die. I'm not gonna let that happen."

"But it's still bound to happen sooner or later, Jun. Might as well be prepared for it."

He flashed a sad smile and took Joonmyun's hand in his. With his other hand, he grabbed his bag and took out a tiny box.

"It's like God planned out everything perfectly because just when I finally got to buy you something, you suddenly appeared," he said as he stood up in front of his one and only love. "This is totally embarrassing ‘coz we are in a hospital and I am still in my work clothes but I think it doesn't really matter... ‘coz I don't think I can spend another Christmas without you."

Yixing went down on his left knee and opened the box before presenting it to Joonmyun. He took out a ring and kissed Joonmyun’s hand before saying, "With the short amount of time I have left in this lifetime, will you at least stay by my side until it’s time for me to go?”

The clock struck twelve. Christmas. It was Christmas when they first got together, another Christmas when they parted ways and one year after, they claimed each other for life on the very same holiday.

"Yes, Yixing. From the depths of my heart, I will. I will be at your side until our forever ends."

Hopefully, it’ll be Christmas too when they finally decide to tie the knot--- before living happily ever after.

Three hundred sixty-four days have passed (today is the three hundred sixty-fifth). The four seasons each had their turns and yet two hearts still longed for an answer to a question that was never asked…

But do they really need an answer? These heartfelt words were more than enough.

"I love you so much, Yixing. My Yixing."

"I love you so much too, Joonmyun. My Joonmyun."

.FiN.