It was just a day before Eun Mi’s birthday and Beast fanmeet. You started to regret saying yes, and you were this close to backing out. But looking at how enthusiastic and overly excited Eun Mi was everyday at school, it made you think twice. 

That night, Eun Mi called to tell you a little about Beast members. After all, she didn’t want you to be lost at the fanmeet and not know anything. You dozed off halfway through the call, you weren’t interested at all.

“YAH! Wake up!” she could tell you were sleeping.

“Eun Mi-ah~ You know what, I’ll just check them out on the internet after dinner, okay?” you just wanted to end the call ASAP, it was so boring.

“Promise?” she wanted to make sure. “Pro…” you yawned, “mise...” It did sound rather unconvincing but she just said, “I trust you, ______.”

Just then, you heard your mum saying dinner was ready. “I’ve to go now Eun Mi~ Dinner’s ready! I’ll search them up later! Bye!” With that, you ended the call and ran downstairs.

After dinner, you were shopping online and you received a message. The screen read, “Message from: Eun Mi – Don’t break your promise! Search them up~ <3” You let out a sigh, you had apparently already forgotten about it.

Reluctantly, you went to Google and typed ‘Beast’ in the search box.  You clicked on ‘Beast(South Korean band) – Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia. You scanned through the page, not even showing a bit of interest. ‘Blah blah blah blah’ you scrolled down really quick and you came to the end of the page. “DONE!” you exclaimed.

Just when you were about to return back to your online shopping, your phone vibrated. It was another message from Eun Mi, “I hope you will remember their names and recognize them, hehe! <3 I love you bestie!”

‘WHAT THE HELL’ you started to panic. ‘NO WAY. F.M.L!'

You wanted to come up with an excuse about not receiving the message but didn't want to be selfish for your own reasons. You started to memorize their names, “Yoon Doojoon, Yoon Doojoon, Yoon Doojoon…” you said out loud.

‘AISH, WHY AM I DOING THIS?!’ you started to bang your head on your table. But you still continued anyway, “Jang Hyunseung, Jang Hyunseung, Jang Hyunseung, Yong Junhyung, Yong Junhyung….”  You said their names over and over again, until you memorized them.

“Yoon Doojoon, Jang Hyunseng, Yong Junhyung, Yang Yoseob, Lee Kikwang, Son Dongwoon. WOOOOHOOO I GOT IT ALL RIGHT! AREN’T I THE SMARTEST!?!” you shot up from your chair and started to jump around. After awhile, you realized what you were doing. You quickly sat down and acted like nothing happen. 'PABO! Keep your cool! You hate K-pop!' a voice started ringing in your head.

You were left with the recognizing part, it was going to be difficult for you as in your eyes, all K-pop idols looked the same. You searched for pictures and you recognized Junhyung and Doojoon rather easily because Eun Mi always raved about them. While for the other members, Yoseob had this cute vibe while Hyunseung stood out with his red hair, so you easily remembered both of their faces too. Kikwang wasn’t quite easy for you but you managed to have an image of him in your head.

When it came down to the last member, Dongwoon, you scrolled down and you saw a few pictures, you tried to remember his face. But you froze and tensed up when you saw the last picture on the page. You felt butterflies in your stomach. “Kim Ki Bum” you whispered. You placed your right hand over your heart, it was beating rapidly fast. ‘Why!? I’m not supposed to feel this way!’ Frustrated, you closed the page. 

You sat on your chair, completely still. You started to feel messed up and memories started to form in your mind. “Ki Bum-ah~” you remembered how he liked it when you addressed him like that. "Yeah, ______-ah~?” he would answer with that sweet, mysterious voice. 

You found yourself smiling at the sweet memories. Unfortunately, you began to recall how everything ended and tears filled your eyes. “I think it would be better for the both of us.” the line that broke your heart. “No, it’s not going to be better for me, Ki Bum.” you remembered how you tried to hold him back. This was perhaps why you hated K-pop  that much, because you always felt that it took your first love away.

Tears started streaming down your rosy cheeks. You wanted so much to talk to someone, maybe call Eun Mi, but even Eun Mi didn't really know who your first love was. You always refused to talk about it whenever she asked. Even talking about it made you want to cry. 

 ‘Go get some sleep and stop thinking! Pabo!’ you told yourself.

You eventually cried yourself to sleep that night.