The occasional groan resounds when Lu Han misses the goal. It comes from Lu Han himself. Everyone looks surprised, because he’s the team’s ace, and the ace never misses. Silence burdens the field until the coach barks “What the hell is wrong with you” in a voice that sounds like he’s smoked too many packs in his lifetime.
 
            He asks himself that every day.
 
            If Kris didn't drag him off the spot, Lu Han would sink his feet into the ground.

            Even if Lu Han isn't the type to let his thoughts interfere with his playing, there's a riddle in his head that he can't seem to unravel. Those thoughts could only disappear with time, so he focuses his energy on performing well. Right now, Lu Han has to wrap his mind around the field, the grass, the drills, the players, and the goal.
 
            On his turn, Lu Han times his kick perfectly. It'll hit the corner, more or less. He runs, feeling a victorious rush when tip of his shoe hits the ball on point, and he looks over to see—nothing? Ah, again. Lu Han's eyes widen, looking down to find he missed the ball entirely, and the grass next to it uprooted instead.
 
            What is this? Lu Han scolds himself. Present in body, absent in mind. Lu Han suddenly doesn't feel like kicking a ball around. His lack of participation ends up in his being sent to run several laps and clear his head.
 
            Breathing steady, his line of vision draws closer to the school building. Towards the fourth floor.
 
            The blood pressure in his veins rise higher, and the front seat of his shorts burns a little hotter.

            He thinks of Minseok.
 
            When Lu Han feels Minseok’s skin on his skin, he feels at ease. To him, it doesn’t matter what Minseok says, or when he throws fits. It was enough if he could call Minseok his.

            They were friends before.
 
            They used to talk and talk about the the weather, each other, their worries, and old stories that they tell to everyone because they think they’re stories worth telling. Their conversations moved up to the roof and they had lunch together sometimes, when Lu Han felt the need to leave the group to their stupid conversations about girls.

            Girls never interested Lu Han, really. They were like loud, clingy octopuses hanging on to his every limb when he so much as walked down the hallway. The pretty ones were the most territorial, and he couldn’t stand them the most. They felt awful and left a thin film of cheap, flowery perfume-scented all over his skin.
 
            But Minseok—Minseok feels nice. Minseok is nice. He likes the sound of his voice, it’s soft and passive, and the best thing is that Lu Han is like nothing to Minseok. It’s insulting, how much Minseok doesn’t care, but it’s also good. He doesn’t care who he is, he sees Lu Han for who he is, not what or who he should be, and it’s nice to converse freely, not caring about being judged from implications or pretenses, just soaking in the contentment of each other’s company.
 
            (Even like this, it feels nice because it’s just Minseok, as Lu Han palms the base of his partner's length, feeling Minseok's breath shudder on his chest. A small cry sounds onto his shoulder and Lu Han pulls back enough to wipe his tears away, hushing them gently. Minseok's sighs are soft and his cheeks are softer. The tears streaming down them even taste sweet, but all of Minseok is sweet)

            He just wants Minseok. That’s all… that’s all this is.
 
 
 

 
 
 
 
            Minseok doesn’t think so. 

            In a month, he supposes, it'll be over. That makes it a month too long, but Minseok convinces himself that it will be better to endure than resist. It will be better not to antagonize someone like him. At the very least, he should find solace in doing the things he wants for the time being. But he really wants to have Lu Han get a taste of his own medicine.

            Any normal person would seek vengeance for the wrongs done to them. Minseok is no exception.

            If he could unearth some blackmail material, then he could cut the ties that held him back and live quietly like before. In a month, he'll put in his transfer papers to somewhere far away, but Minseok wasn't too sure if that person's distasteful obsession would end with just a geographical change.

            Waiting for the very last bell to finish ringing, he sighs on his way to meet with that person. Once there, Lu Han immediately pulls Minseok atop his thighs. Propped on the table, his knees straddle the other's lap. Seated obediently, he lets the younger run fingers through his short locks. Faced by a distraught countenance, Lu Han doesn't mind him but instead closes in to press a kiss against the nape of Minseok's neck. Leaving red marks down to his collarbone, his fingers slip down into the backside of his classmate's trousers, circling and prodding his entrance.

            "Wait, I—" Minseok gulps down his fear, "I—don't want to—to do it—"

            Lu Han glares threateningly, stopping Minseok's words mid-deliverance.

            "—here." Though it comes out no louder than a sigh, Minseok feels relieved when Lu Han's eyes let up ever so slightly.

            "This is where we always do it," Lu Han says waspishly. It would seem he couldn't understand why Minseok wouldn't like to be embraced on a desk—it was better than on a floor or wall, which were the only other options.

            "Let's move someplace more private? Like, your house..." Minseok's gauges Lu Han's reaction before speaking further. It may have been too forward an imposition, and he feared his plan for vengeance may have been comprised. Inviting himself to a wolf's den may not have been one of his brighter moments, but if the pieces fall into place, then even wolves run when gunshots are heard.

            Minseok's eyes darken as Lu Han laughs under his breath. "How intimate. It's not a bad idea," he answers, fondly dragging the back of his hand down the other's cheek. "We could be louder." (And fall asleep together, and we could wake up and do it all over again, and kiss and touch, and—)

            "But," Lu Han presses a finger into him, "not today."

            Minseok huffs exhaustedly onto Lu Han's shoulder, feeling a heartbeat thrum against his own.

            "This weekend, will you come? I'll take you," Lu Han asks out of the blue. "To my house."

            It's been a few days since Minseok had suggested it. He had nearly forgotten.

            "Yeah," Minseok says. "I'll come."

            Lu Han grins, firmly kneading his classmate's lower cheeks. "Then, I'll make sure of that."

            Picturing Minseok wearing his shirt and no bottoms and his innocent face while asleep on his bed makes him feel a certain way. Something wells up in the pit of Lu Han's chest, a beautiful pain that lightens his spirit. Heart aflutter, a rush of adrenaline has him ing upward with enough force to have the desk buckling beneath them.

            Wounded moans scatter the room, the sudden change of pace leaving Minseok speechless. Goosebumps wash hotly over his skin each time an impact strikes him from inside. It's nothing new, but his body could never get used to the malaise that Lu Han brought him. Mixed in with the pain his heart feels is the pleasure his body acknowledges, and with that, he releases quietly under his palm.

            "Lu Han," Minseok says calmly. "I have practice..."

            Merely a simple sentence, and yet, it hits all the right spots to set him off.

            Provoked, Lu Han switches their positions to lay his partner down, thighs parted wide to accommodate how deep he wants to reach and ruin this boy's body. With a face redder than cherries, Minseok whimpers aloud with every , and his knees reflexively draw together to lessen the gap. Not two seconds later, Lu Han forcibly parts his knees and pulls him down closer by the waist. They continue for a bit like that, until Minseok settles for covering the embarrassment written on his face with the back of his hand.

            Hot tears stream down Minseok's face when he starts to feel Lu Han's coarse movements inside him, how his body has slowly accustomed to his shape, the way his walls hug and soften at his length. No matter how many times he gets violated and torn apart, it still feels awful. Those magazines that detailed as something pleasurable and intense—Minseok doesn't recall them ever saying that could be used to humiliate and hurt him. And between two men, who could understand this nonsense?  

            Though Minseok had hoped that Lu Han would satiate his lust quickly so he could go about his club activities, it would seem that Lu Han had a secret agenda to show Minseok where his priorities should lie. The first should be Lu Han, of course, and all else is secondary. If Minseok were to internalize one thing from today's session, it better be that. 

            There's a moment when his breathing has turned ragged and airy, where it suddenly hits Minseok that this session has lasted significantly longer than the others. Usually it's just once and they part for their club activities, but today is a bit different. They've done it twice, now, and as he gets turned over again, stomach flat against the desk surface, he knows Lu Han is aiming for a third. 

            Their skin feels clammy and perspired from constant contact, their bodies make more sound than usual and it slowly drives Minseok mad. Lu Han's hips slam against his back cheeks, and he feels it again, how deep-rooted and accustomed his body has become to welcome Lu Han time and time again.

            "No—no more—I can't take..." Minseok pleads, only to release quickly, his length softening against the surface.

            It was painful before, but even more excruciatingly so now. His walls have been rubbed raw, like they were seconds from tearing and bleeding like the first few times they had done this disgusting act. His eyes had teared up a bit earlier, but his heart could no longer suppress the cries any longer because to what extent did Lu Han want to ruin and disgrace his lowly body until he's satisfied? There were others, with nicer faces and toned physiques—but why Minseok? Though surrounded by such attractive company, Lu Han had such poor taste in partners. Partners? Somehow it doesn't sound right. It's more like Minseok is his male pet. They meet to do this, and there's no exchange. Just that, because Lu Han wants it, he takes it.

            The pain amplifies to his ears, alarmed and red, his body heated all over. The hairs on his arms are standing. Lu Han's release pulses throughout Minseok's entire lower region, melting him from the inside out. Shuddering, his heart pounds as he tries to control his breathing.

            "Once more," Lu Han whispers, slightly off-pitch.

            Minseok's body freezes. More...?

            Then, a look a sheer horror wears the older boy's face as Lu Han slowly turns him face-to-face, entering him deeply, grinding his hips thoroughly. But this time—this time—the scream that Minseok wanted to let out meets with Lu Han's mouth instead.

            The tiniest sound of surprise comes from his mouth as Lu Han effectively rolls tongue over his own. Their breaths are hot, even hotter together, and the humid air has their bodies sticking closer than ever. The chill that tickles down his spine, the sudden realization that their mouths are together—kissing, like couples do—and the fact that they're not one but are still doing this, leave his body shaking with shame. 

            As a patient person, Minseok thought he could endure anything, no matter how degrading or difficult. Others have it harder. Even towards this unexpected situation, he believed he could endure. But this was his limit. 

            Lu Han strikes inside harder than usual, hitting him at strange angles and all places. The sharp pain causes Minseok's vision to blackout and his conscience to faint.

            Head pounding, Minseok blinks himself awake.

            In trying to shift his legs more comfortably, he introduces a stinging pain from his waist that stretches all the way down his legs. The groan he lets out startles the person seated near the foot of the bed.

            "You're awake?" Lu Han asks, his eyes not leaving the book in his hands. "We're in the school infirmary. It's too bad that club activities are over. Even the nurse has left already."

            Minseok tries not to acknowledge that person for as long as he can. At some point, he notices his uniform is gone, with a long loose fabric that patients usually wear in its place.

            "Where have you put my clothes?" Minseok asks, voice cracked despite the attempt to sound strong.

            "They are next to you. I took them off to clean you," he says, his thumb to flip a page. "You were leaking as I brought you here. It was filthy, so I cleaned you."

            Anger fueling his mouth, Minseok scolds, "And who is it that made me filthy? That enters me until I faint? What kind monster—"

            "Okay," Lu Han shuts his book irritably. "That's enough. I was wrong, but you also—" he stops there.

            The silence only leaves Minseok all the more apprehensive. He, too, did what? What had Minseok ever done that made him deserving of such cruel treatment?

            Then, he smirks. "You also enjoyed yourself."

            To hell if Minseok would accept insults from a monster like him. Though painful from movement, nevertheless, he snatches his clothes from beside him and hurriedly shifts his legs over the bedside to clothe himself.

            Watching his every grimace, that face contorted with suffering, Lu Han bites back the urge to stop that boy from hurting himself. However, because he is despicable in Minseok's eyes, it would only make sense to play that role. 

            Buttoning his shirt and pulling his jacket on were quite easy, but his pants... they required him to bend at the waist and hip, but his body simply wouldn't let him move that way, even under his highest willpower and force. His body wouldn't bend, because his muscles had locked that way or else it would be too painful. Frustration eats at his pride.

            The look of amusement sparkling that person's eyes only infuriates him further.

            "You made me like this, yet you have no sense of responsibility," Minseok's says, eyes burning with hatred. Each word hurt more than the last. "Is it that amusing to sit there and watch?"

            "It is," Lu Han grins. "You dislike being touched by me, but in your time of need, it is okay?" 

            Minseok only scoffs in response. Even so, Lu Han makes his way around to stand on one knee before him.

            "Then, what would you have me do?" He asks inquisitively, and Minseok's face flushes because he had unintentionally invited that person to once again bare eyes on his lower region. In another person's eyes, the scene would look unbelievably more suggestive than it should, which embarrasses him to no end.

            "My waist—it won't—so—my pants—" The embarrassment short-circuits his ability to speak proper Korean.

            Lu Han laughs lightly. "I got it."

            "Let me take you home." Lu Han extends his hand only to have Minseok slap it away.

            You're the reason I'm like this.

            "Geez, just—" he picks him up bridal style and waltzes down the hall towards the elevators before letting him back down. Minseok kicks his legs out in protest, but stops when he hears Lu Han grunt of difficulty. That person has such thin arms, he didn't realize how difficult it must be to carry him for such a distance.

            Lu Han lets him down once they reach the elevator.

            "So even you can be tame," Lu Han quips, grinning. "I didn't want to say to say this, but you're heavier than you look." That might have something to do with the fact that Lu Han actually thought Minseok weighed about as much as a feather. Maybe less.

            "I didn't ask you to carry me! I'll walk myself." The older boy turns on his heel, only to find that each step carried a mountain of pain with it. Despite his bruised limbs pleading to rest, Minseok quickens his pace only to find himself stumbling when he misses a step, bringing him to his knees.

            Lu Han walks up behind him and crouches down.

            "What was that about walking by yourself?" The laugh that comes after is pure evil. "Come."

            Minseok sees his hand but refuses to accept it. Refuses to accept Lu Han at all. If that person wants to act kind, then only act kind and stay out of his life. But if that person wants to cause him suffering, then do so, but there's no need to confuse his emotions by doing both. Because Lu Han is a monster, he didn't want to discover those grey areas in between the black and white. A monster is a monster—inconsiderate and evil. To think that a beast like that could take on a human form.

            And that the prettiest face can hide the most hideous monster.

a/n: probably the last i will write of this au. i literally updated after a year. i'm sure you don't want to wait another???