When we reach the dorm, Victoria immediately prepare for our dinner because she knows were all hungry. I told them that I’m just going to rest a little and wake me up when dinner is ready.

And while I’m laying in my bed, I can feel the comfy blankets and soft pillows against my skin but still, I can’t sleep. Inside my mind, it’s like a hurricane. Things were keep rushing and going in and out.

I can hear the laughter and chattering of Luna, Amber and Krystal in the living room. But the loudest laugh I’m hearing the most is Krystal’s. I felt pain in my heart. Her laugh used to be my comforting shield. But now, it brings ache into my heart, knowing I’m not the one sharing it with her anymore.

Then suddenly, a precious memory came rushing into my mind…

KRYSTAL: This is my husband.

SULLI: And this is my…

KRYSTAL: Wife.

We look at each and giggled. It feels so good hearing her soft laugh. Our faces are inches away from each other and  right from that moment, I knew I belong there with her….forever.

I sigh as I remember that moment and closed my eyes. That was one of the best moment of my life. I know we’re still young from that time and were just joking around with each other but I still can’t deny the fact that I love it when Krystal called me her husband, once upon a time.

God knows how much I missed those old times. I missed my sweet Soojung.

Those memories when she used to always back hug me. The moments when she’s not shy to tell the whole world that she love me. And our little moments that we shared together that she doesn’t even know that have a big part in my heart.

I always love Soojung. And I know, she knows it.

There was even a time that were joking around with each other. I playfully try to kissed her as if acting like I’m her real boyfriend.

So, I grabbed her small waist and called her by her name. Soojung, I said.

Then I was trying to kiss her cheek but right at that moment, she turn her head towards me. And were both shocked because it was her lips that my mouth touched and not her cheek.

It lasted for just 3 seconds. But in that small amount of time, I suddenly questioned my real feelings for her. My heart race fast when our eyes met after that unintentional kiss. Our first real kiss.

I tried to say something but I can’t think of any other words right at that moment, other than the word, ‘happiness’…

I don’t know why. Maybe because I feel so happy suddenly?

“Yah! Why did you kissed me, Sulli?” I heard she say but I can see that she was red as a tomato.

“Omo! I-I didn’t kissed you!” I said while stammering. “I was just trying to kissed your c-cheek! Not your l-l-lips.” Then I look at her lips.

It feels like, I wanted to kiss it again for the second time around. It looks so, delicious?

Aigooo! What the heck, Choi Sulli? I told myself.

Krystal punch my shoulder. “Yah! You steal my first kiss!”

“I didn’t steal it! That’s not my intention!”

She didn’t say anything. Krystal just look at me and it feel so awkward. I can’t look at her. Because I’m afraid that if I did, I know that she will see in my eyes what I truly feel for her.

Yeah, there were times when we feel so close with each other were doing skinship then I quietly asked my self, I am falling for my bestfriend? It can’t. Because we’re both girls.

I know, it’s wrong but it feels so right. I’m even afraid that if I don’t control my feelings towards her she might think of me as a ert and she might stay away from me, which the most thing that I’m afraid of.

I don’t want to lose her that’s why all this time, whenever we’re together, I’m just telling myself that we’re BOTH GRLS.

She is a girl. And I’m a girl. And it’s forbidden to fall love with your same gender.

After Krystal look at me for about a minute, she suddenly said.

“But you know, Ssul…I like it.”

Then I look at her. She has a grin on her face.

“W-what did you just said?”

She smiled. “I said, I like it.”

“Aishhh. Stop joking around with me, Soojung.”

“Why, you don’t like it?” she asked me.

“Why would I liked it?” I said while pouting my lips on her.

I saw her look at my lips. I feel uncomfortable. And my heart race even faster more.

“Because my lips is kissable.” Krystal said and teasingly pouts her lips to me as if she wanted to kiss me. “Muah!”

“Yuck!” I jokingly said then push her face away from me because if I don’t, I’m really gonna tempted to kiss her again.

She smirks at me. “’Yuck’, huh? Really? Hmp! Then, don’t get jealous if I kiss another person!”

Then, I imagine my Soojung kissing someone. I feel like I wanted to punch that person’s face. Whoever that is.

KNOCK! KNOCK!

I jump from the bed and my mind came back rushing into the reality again. There’s a knock on the door. And I immediately get up from my bed to open up the door. It swung slowly and I saw a silhouette of another person….