The buzz of a vibrating phone sounded. Jinki looked away from the monitor of his desktop and glanced at the sleek Samsung S4 lying on his workdesk. It was a gift from Minho—freely given and unasked for—but nope, the phone’s screen remained dark and there were no flashing lights at the corner.

The persistent buzzing continued though, and judging by the volume of the sound, Jinki was sure it was coming from his area. He heaved a quiet sigh and pulled open the drawer to his side. In it was an unimpressive Sony Xperia, and true to his expectations, it was vibrating away with a pulsing violet light.

He would ignore it if he could, but protocol demanded he responded as soon as possible. And seeing as to how Jinki was not engaged in the midst of any activities critical to the mission or interacting with any individual whose suspicion might be roused should he up and leave, he was compelled to initiate contact despite the immense reservations he might have.

Moving the mouse with deliberate slowness, Jinki locked his computer, grabbed his earpiece and phones (both S4 and Xperia) and headed his way to the fourth floor pantry which was currently undergoing construction. According to his (very much lacking) support team, there were no CCTVs there. And according to the insider information he had collected (from the only and only Choi Minho), construction had been halted temporarily for a period of two months due to sudden funds constraint from HQ. As such, it was the best place to conduct a secret spy rendezvous (as well conducting other shenanigans between employees of strong libido).

Jinki locked the pantry door behind him; his key a courtesy from his smitten target. Plugging in his earpiece to his Xperia and placing the earpods into his ears, Jinki selected the innocuous ‘101 weird facts’ app and typed in a password when a screen popped up after he drew a complicated shape. His shoulders sagged and his eyebrows were drawn together, Jinki could feel irritation bubbling up already.

“Hyung! You finally picked up,” Jonghyun’s voice called out.

“Yea,” Jinki replied shortly. He cut to the chase immediately, “What do you want?”

“Hyung…” another voice joined in the conversation, disappointment colouring his words, “How can you say that to us? We miss you so much.”

Jinki massaged the temples of his brows. So, he had to handle the tag team today huh? Jonghyun alone was bad enough. But together with Taemin, the two were unstoppable. He might just possibly pop a vein today.

“Hyung, we have something important to tell you,” Jonghyun said before Jinki could muster the energy to speak.

“Oh?” Jinki decided that the best route to take in today’s scenario would be to go for laconic responses.

“Yea, Jinki-hyung,” Taemin chimed his agreement, “Something really, really important.”

“What?”

“Hyung,” Taemin started seriously, “We are really bored in here and are kinda running low on chips. Do you mind chatting with us for an hour or two and stopping by the mart later on—“

Taemin was interrupted by a painful sounding thud as well as the loud voice of Jonghyun’s shouting over his, “We love you, Jinki-hyung! You make us so proud! You are so amazing, and guess what, Jinki-hyung, I managed to sneak a creeper programme into their systems! We will have results in no time!”

(“What the hell was that for?” a belligerent protest could be heard in the background.

“Get a ing brain, would you! Can’t you see that Jinki-hyung is pissed?”

“What are you going on about? We are talking over the wires!”

“Stop being so ing literal! You know what I mean! Can’t you read social cues?”

“I am just being honest! You were the one who suggested calling up Jinki-hyung when I said I was bored!”

“Well… Yea. But you aren’t supposed to just tell him straight up we are hoping to get some entertainment from him! No one likes to know he is being treated like some call girl!”

“And chips, Jonghyun-hyung! Don’t forget the chips! I call dibs on the sour cream flavour!”)

“That’s old news, Jonghyun. We did that yesterday,” Jinki stated somewhat calmly. He paused for a moment, taking in a deep breath, before he continued on in passing equitability, if not for the glower in his eyes, “And you guys do know that I can hear each and every word you are saying, right? Because if you don’t, I might just need to ask for a smarter support team.”

(“! We forgot to turn off the mics!”

“Jonghyun-hyung, you ! You are the IT guy!”

“ Taemin, you are the one in charge of being conscientious!”

“Since when? I thought I was the one in charge of being the face since no one else qualifies.” A contemplative pause. “Although Jinki-hyung is kinda jeopardising my position, what with his honey trap and all… Do you think Choi is blind?”)

“I am suspending your credit cards for two weeks and cancelling the cable subscription,” Jinki said coldly, his limits finally reached, “And Taemin, you aren’t allowed to spend more than 5 minutes in the toilet.”

“Hyung! You can’t do that! How can I bathe then?”

“Bathe like a man and stop shooting off.”

“I will help you keep an eye on him, Jinki-hyung,” Jonghyun volunteered eagerly, “I will time Taemin.”

“That reminds me, Jonghyun, I am suspending your pay for a month.”

“What the ?” came the outraged yell after a stunned silence, “Why does Taemin get off so lightly while I get my wage withheld?”

“Because you are older and are supposed to set a good example,” Jinki said through gritted teeth, “And I have kept quiet about this for ages because I thought I ought to respect your rights. But keep your mouth civil when you are around me, Jonghyun.”

“! You can’t do this, Jinki-hyung!”

“Taemin, keep track of the number of vulgarities Jonghyun uses. For every vulgarity, I am deducting 50 bucks.”

“Hah, serve you right, you !” Taemin crowed jubilantly.

“Taemin, mind your words too.”

“I mean, douchebag. Sorry, Jinki-hyung,” Taemin continued before dropping his tone a notch lower, speaking as if it was only meant for the person next to him to hear, “Hah, serve you right, you douchebag!”

“Alright. That’s all. I need to get back to work unlike some people—“

“Wait, Jinki-hyung!” Taemin shouted, causing Jinki to halt in his attempt to cut off communications.

Jinki winced as his ears were thoroughly unprepared for the sudden assault. The pain swiftly morphed into frustration and he snapped, “Don’t yell; it’s rude.”

“Sorry, hyung,” Taemin said, sounding appropriately chastised, “But we—no, Jongyhun-hyung has something he wants to ask you.”

“What? No! It’s Taemin who has something he wishes to say, not me, hyung,” Jonghyun denied strongly, “, don’t always use me as a shield, brat!”

“That’s 50 bucks gone from next month’s pay,” Jinki noted grimly.

“Hyung,” Jonghyun’s voice took on a whiny quality as he dragged out his vowels, “I am sorry. Please don’t be such a stooge, alright?”

“We will see,” Jinki’s tone was non-committal, “What do you want to know, Taemin?”

“Well… can you extend the limit to 10 minutes instead?” Taemin asked before he hurriedly backpedaled when an unamused ‘Taemin’ issued from the speakers, “What’s your test, Jinki-hyung? What’s your test?”

“What test?”

“The preliminary test you had to take in order to become an intelligence agent,” Jonghyun clarified helpfully, “Did you have to coax a cat into your laps as well?”

“Or pick up sand grain by grain?”

“This is not funny,” Jinki said.

“No, hyung, it’s not meant to be a joke! We are genuinely curiously about your preliminary test!”

“Then what do cats and sand have anything to do with it?” Jinki said, “That’s it. No more deliveries too. No more Chinese food or pizza or Macs.”

“Hyung, we are being serious!” Taemin protested, feeling wronged.

“Look, hyung. You got to believe me, for my test, I was tasked to get a cat to jump into my lap. And the cat didn’t move an inch at all during the hour. I swear it was drugged or something.”

“Yea! And I really had to separate three coloured sand grain by grain for a whole hour, Jinki-hyung!”

“This has gone on far enough. I have to go back to work.”

“Hyung!” Jonghyun and Taemin whined in unison.

Jinki could feel the heat rising in his neck, a hot red flush that could not be stopped. “An IQ test,” Jinki bit off the words sharply, “I took a ing IQ test, with all the pattern recognition and mental arithmetic . Are you guys satisfied?”

Without waiting for a response from the other end, Jinki immediately closed off communications, hands moving swiftly to push the button. He evened out his breathing and straightened his tie. Straining to get his emotions under control, Jinki proceeded to force a smile on his face.

Jinki activated the front camera of his phone. Yes, that smile looked fine. A tad bit forced, but he could attribute that to the stress of having to deal with Kim Kibum on a daily basis.

Alright, time for Lee Onew to take the stage again.

-

(“Hyung,” Taemin shook an immobile, gaping Jonghyun, “Hyung.”

Jonghyun shook his head as if in disbelief. “IQ tests… What?” he mumbled, speaking more to himself than anyone.

“Hyung,” Taemin continued persistently, shaking Jonghyun with even greater force.

A particularly hard shook finally brought Jonghyun out of his reverie and he looked distractedly at the boy next to him, “What’s wrong, Taemin?”

“That was two vulgarities. Can we deduct 100 bucks from hyung’s pay next month?”)

Jinki's getting all spartan-like LOL. Looks like he has reached the end of his patience :P