[Chapter 1]

The Creation

You Are...

“Hey Amber.” My best friend Krystal called out to me through the phone. Apparently I had blanked out again while trying to get a new high score on one of the new internet games I was playing. I bit my lower lip in concentration. Just a few more points and I would be able to achieve a score high enough to rub in other player's faces for a whole week. “Amber.” I heard Krystal call out again. Still I stayed quiet, this was a very intense moment for me! “Yah!” She practically screamed.

I jumped out of fright and mistakenly clicked on one of the featured games surrounding the perimeter of the playing field. “No!” I cried out as the screen now loaded to a new game. My opportunity of ranking as one of the best was now gone. Ugh! Whatever she had to tell me must have been really important.

A gentle giggle slithered into the ear that the phone was held to. “So you are alive.” She joked with another laugh. “What were you doing anyways?”

I couldn't help myself from sighing. I just blew my opportunity of weekly fame! Repositioning the phone from between my head and shoulder, I clicked back on the internet window in hopes that my score would have been miraculously saved...Nope. “I almost got a score worthy enough to be put on the leader boards but you messed me up!” A small pout surfaced on my face, but I knew she couldn't see it. We were blocks away from each other. “So what did you want Krys?” My eyes closed in frustration, trying to block out the failure and actually concentrate on this phone conversation.

My best friend took a moment to respond. Apparently she was too busy concentrating on something else too. Maybe I should get my re- “Have you made an AFF account yet?”

Too late. Wait, what? I felt my eyebrows scrunch together in confusion as I tried to comprehend what she had just said. “Uhh...AFF?” In my head I could only imagine Krystal bobbing her head up and down.

“Yeah. It stands for asianfanfics.com It's pretty cool. You can read fan fics, roleplay, and go in chat rooms.” She practically advertised with a giggle. My guess was that she was already on there now. If she was this giddy about it, it must be one hell of a website.

Slowly, my fingers pecked the keyboard as I typed in every letter, making sure that I didn't spell the website wrong by mistake. “asianfanfics.com...alright Krys, I trust you with these things.” I mumbled as I hit the enter key.

Eventually the homepage of the site loaded. Featured stories, a user poll, and subcategories were displayed on the front. In all honesty, I was already intrigued with the web page. I couldn't help but click around to familiarize myself with the site. After a moment of being in awe of finding these stories about my favorite idols did I realize that once again, my friend was right about good websites.

See, Krystal was the one that introduced me to other websites that I quickly got hooked on. Social media websites, game websites, you name it. However, Krystal is more than just that friend that got me hooked on mainstream websites. She's also been my friend since the 6^th grade. After finally getting to know the 'new kid' in the class, it wasn't hard to be each others best friends.

Have I ever wanted to be more than just a friend with her? Well yeah of course. I never felt this way about a girl, and I couldn't help but want to be more than just a best friend. So then what happened? Why aren't we calling each other cutesy names and telling each other sweet nothings? Well, long story short is that...she doesn't swing that way. I guess my luck ran out with her on that sort of thing, but being a best friend is still second best.

“So what do you say Am? Are you gonna make an account?” I heard Krystal through the wireless device that was practically glued to my ear. There I go again, spacing out while doing my own thing. I wonder if she ever gets annoyed by it.

Either way, it didn't take long for me to reply. Being the type to actually like writing and reading, this website seemed like heaven to me. “Hell yeah.” I answered rather victoriously. This website would be my new domain now. I could finally close the tabs on game cheats and hints and all those other games that were just meant to pass the time. It was time to start anew.

Click. Click. “Alright, thanks Krys. I got it now.” I mumbled while watching the newly made profile load on the screen. Even though my profile was made just moments ago, I couldn't help but click around on all the tabs. Blogs, empty. Stories, empty. Inbox, empty. “Err, everything's empty right now. What do you think I should do?”

Mentally I imagined my best friend giving me her usual shrug. “I don't know. Fill out your 'about me' section or put up a profile picture. After that go read or something.” Krystal sort of grumbled. I guess she was busy reading something and my yapping was delaying her of the story.

I decided to take her advice. Asianfanfics.com would most likely be a place for me to meet new people. I might as well let them know a bit about me. Quickly going to the recommended area, I stared at the blank section that was crying to get filled with words. After a moment, I began to fill the thing out with information that was at least decent enough to be put in the slot.

Half-way through the typing, I heard a gentle rustle come through the phone. It wasn't long for a quick, “Hey Am, I'll be right back okay?” to slither into my ear.

Regardless, I wasn't phased by it. These 'I'll be right back' sort of things happen on a daily basis while we're on the phone. Since I was too caught up in my typing, I grumbled a mindless, “Alright.”

Krys eventually announced her return, and she brought someone else with her. Our friend Nicole had apparently joined in on the phone call. This was a normal thing to us. After school, we'd hop on the computer and surf the web. We'd be doing all of this while we were on the phone together. Did I have some feelings for Nicole? Sort of, but they weren't as strong as my feelings for Krystal. Even so, Nicole doesn't swing that way either.

“So Amber, Krys said that you made an AFF account?” I heard our friend's voice from the wireless electronic.

After a final click of the mouse, I sat back and stared at the newly saved information. “Yeah. I just finished editing my profile.”

“Cool! I wanna see.” In my head I imagined a gleeful Nicole happily clicking on the links to come to my newly made profile page.

While Nicole went quiet, Krystal couldn't help but break the awkward silence over the phone. “So Am, what do you think of the site?”

A small smirk came onto my face as I continued to further explore this new safe haven of mine. “I'm really liking it Krys. Thanks for telling me about it.”

Before my best friend, and forever only a crush, could say anything Nicole butted into our conversation with a very confused, “Uhh...” The line went quiet as we waited for our friend to continue on with whatever she was going to say. “Hey Amber? What's your profile name?”

My eyebrows clashed together for a moment. Did Krystal give her the wrong username? Did I give the wrong username? There's no way. I was reciting everything I punched in, aside from my password of course, to Krystal like some idiot who didn't know how to keep a secret. Eventually I figured that maybe she misspelled something. “My username is 'YiYun'. Y-U-N.”

Nicole went quiet for a moment. Could she not find my profile? Was she even on the right sight to begin with? Then again, I thought about my profile and finally the confusion made sense. All I had to do was wait for the question to be asked. “Y-U-N.” Nicole repeated making me nod my head up and down. “Alright, I found your profile...I think.” She paused for a moment. “Err, Amber?...

Who's Jonghyun?”

“Jonghyun?” Krystal finally spoke. Apparently she didn't know what was going on either. I could already see the scrunched up eyebrows on both of their faces.

Then everything went quiet. The only thing everyone was waiting for was for me to explain. Being invisible wouldn't make the question disappear. We would only see each other at school the next day where they would probably bug me to death about this Jonghyun person. Not to mention the fact that I brought this on myself since it was really was me that filled out the profile. Then again, what could go wrong? This was all for fun and games anyways. “Jonghyun...that's uhh... that's me.” I tried to sound unfazed by everything.

Our conversation went quiet until Nicole finally spoke up again. “If this Jonghyun person is the one on your profile picture then I know for a fact that that's not you. Yeah you two look alike, but I know that isn't you.” She paused for a moment. “This Jonghyun person is a guy!”

In my head I could only imagine Nicole being so confused with everything. I won't blame her though. I'd be confused too if I found out one of them made a fake profile of themselves. “Yeah, I know what you're thinking, but just relax. I'm only using this profile to read and write. How could some creepy 40 year old man stalk me if they don't even know the real me?” My explanation sounded rather victorious. Then again, answering a question with another, confident, question makes everything sound victorious.

“So...you made this to not get stalked by any creepy old guys on the internet?” Krystal questioned curiously. From the tone of her voice, she didn't sound very convinced no matter how confident I was with my reasoning.

At first my response was a nod of my head, until I realized that she couldn't see me. “Yup. I'm trying to protect myself from any erts out there. They could be on any website you know.”

Before Krystal could say anything else to object, Nicole butted in with, “I guess that makes sense.” I could only imagine her thinking with a jutted lip as she paused for a second. “There are a lot of creepy guys out there. Seems like a good idea to me.” Most likely she shrugged.

In the back of my head I knew that Krystal wanted to ask more questions to figure out why I made this fake profile of me. She knew me too well, knowing that there really was another reason for this alter ego of mine, but I wasn't planning on telling anyone about it. Not even my own best friend.

Our phone conversation went dead again. Was I that much of a topic-killer? There was rustling over the phone until a sigh filed my ear. “Guys, I gotta go. Sorry.” Nicole sounded pretty upset. Whatever she was about to go do was obviously not her cup of coffee. In the end Krys and I said good-bye to our friend and we were alone again. This time in awkward silence.

Krystal didn't say a word to me for a while and I never said a word to her either. Truthfully, I kept quiet so that we wouldn't have to talk about the question that I figured was on both of our minds. Why did I really make a fake profile? Still, I kept my mouth shut. I soon began to felt uneasy with the silence that lingered between us. If there's one thing that I hate the most, it's silence. Maybe that's what she was doing, staying quiet until I cracked and spilled the beans.

I don't know how long we stayed silent, but apparently Krystal couldn't take it anymore. The line filled with gentle shuffling coming from her end until everything stopped with a loud sigh. “Alright Amber,” She sounded a little irritated, automatically making the 'be careful of your words' switch turn on in my brain. I didn't want to upset my best friend more than she probably already was. Krystal paused for a moment, suddenly sounding distant from the phone while talking her native tongue of Korean. Huh, I wonder what was going on over there. Finally everything stopped and I heard her sigh again. “I have to go.” She reluctantly explained. “My mom needs me. I'll talk to you later okay?”

My lips pursed gently as I nodded. Thankfully she couldn't see me. If she were here, she would know that I was really hiding something up my sleeve. Not to mention that she would most likely try anything to make me explain. Whoops, I forgot that I didn't say anything yet. “Uhm. Alright Krys. I'll see you tomorrow I guess?”

Another deep sigh infiltrated my ear. “Yeah, I guess. See ya.” Her tone sounded even more irritated than before. If all of her irritation was because of this whole fake profile thing, then maybe I should avoid the topic at all costs until she forgets.

Before I could actually tell my best friend 'bye' Krystal hung up the phone. I pressed the little red button on the wireless device that could finally departure from my ear. She must be really curious if she were this mad about it.

So then what was my real reason? It's a little complicated, but I guess everything needs to be explained. I should probably start from the beginning so that no one gets lost with this whole explanation. Hi. My name is Amber Liu. I live in Los Angeles, California and...

I'm a lesbian.

There, I said it. The only problem is, I never told anyone that I am....At least, not yet. I'm not comfortable with the title yet and I don't want to be picked on or bullied just because of my ual orientation. One of my biggest fears is getting disowned from my family and getting kicked out of the house just because I decided to be...me. Still, it confuses me how the world doesn't know. I dress like a tomboy with the baggy pants and the guys clothing, my hair is cut short, and occasionally I flirt with girls. I guess the world doesn't know because even they believe that I really am a guy. But that's the thing, I'm not. I'm just a girl that likes girls. Is that so wrong?

So then what does me being a lesbian have anything to do with this fake profile? Remember when I said that I wasn't comfortable with the label? I found this as an alternative way to be myself and not creep out the world since the battle for gay marriage is hanging by a thread and not everyone in society exactly accepts 'my kind'. Living with this alter ego, I can't hurt anybody right? Jonghyun isn't even real. He's someone I completely made up. The name? I made it up, salvaging it from one of the characters I had made for a story I was working on. The picture? That's a real person, but even I don't know who it is. It was a photo I found on one of the mainstream websites dedicated only to pictures. The image was buried past the 50^th, 100^th, and even 200^th page in a very broad search. Thus, Jonghyun was born. If people don't know who I really am then I can't hurt anybody right? I guess this is confusing, let me try again.

Being on the internet, I'm bound to meet other people. It's hard not to meet other people since millions of us use it now-a-days. I don't want to scare people off just because I say 'oh by the way, I'm a lesbian'. Having Jonghyun fill in for me, people will find it okay if I ever start talking with girls. Plus, if the conversation of relationships ever comes up then it's okay. They'd think that I'm just some teenage boy looking for love. Boys loving girls isn't a problem right? It's the typical guy meets girl, they get married, they have a family and live happily ever after. It's so stereotypical. I'm not scaring anybody away with this alter ego and a long distance relationship isn't exactly my cup of coffee either. So there can't possibly be a downside to this right? Besides,

this is all for fun and games...

...or so I thought...

...Nonexistent In My Life...For Now...

A/N: Hello readers! I'm so sorry that it took me a week and a half to finally post the first chapter! With it being finals week you can imagine how much last minute homework and tests I had to study for. Now I've got huge exams at the end of the week so all it is, is study study study! Thankfully I was able to get this chapter typed up and ready to go.

As you read in the forward, this story is based on real life events staring, well me, or in this case Amber. Of course there are some changes that needed to be made but this fan fic will no doubt give you guys the whole story of what happened. I don't like giving spoilers so please wait for the next chapter and I hope I won't let you awesome readers down!

So what was changed in this chapter? Well for the most part, the names. The name of the website, the name of the city, and the name of the people involved. Did this really happen over the phone? Yup. Did I really make a fake profile? Yup. Well, that was all that was changed. I'm sorry my writing isn't great. It's hard [for me] to write descriptive conversations with people over the phone with a 1st person POV. >< Anyways, don't be afraid to leave a comment! I welcome them! ^^ Until the next chapter!

-Jeo