I'm happy, If you're happy
Love is Something That I Feel
Donghae & Hyukjae
"Donghae, there's something I want to say to you" Hyukjae wanted to end everything. Drama sad that he never imagined before. Early in the morning he had asked Donghae came to see him. He wanted to end it all, tell all the truth. Hyukjae will not be silent anymore.
"You fight with Siwon?" Donghae looked at Hyukjae sad. friend looks glum lately and did not talk much. Donghae knew there must be something.
"Yes" answer brief of Hyukjae.
Donghae did not ask again. Hyukjae did not continue the conversation anymore. Both were silent. Their eyes wander to a distant highway that was so crowded. Now they're in a city park, not far from the highway so congested with vehicles. Making noise does not stop. Because when it rains, both shelter.
"I'm and Siwon, it's over" Hyukjae swallowed the lump in his throat. He knew Donghae would ask 'why', and after that he had said everything.
"Why? why Hyukjae? "Donghae looks curious and worried.
"Siwon, don't love me anymore, he loves someone else"
"Who? Who? " Donghae hurry. He really curious, anyone who had destroyed his friend's relationship. There was silence for a while, until finally hyukjae notifying.
"Kyuhyun. Cho Kyu Hyun "Hyukjae swore he could not look up to see Donghae. He was afraid Donghae will cry. So he just looked down.
"You're lying. Why siwon fall in love with Kyuhyun ? "
"Not only Siwon, but Kyuhyun also fell in love with siwon"
Donghae shook his head repeatedly. He could not believe the words that had just come out of the mouth of Hyukjae. Hyukjae looked down and sighed. The truth finally came out, but he hoped donghae would took it well. Hyukjae knew Donghae would not believe it.
"I'm not lying, Donghae"
Donghae pale. Rain pouring down he face, covered with tears.
"I can't believe you would say something like that. Kyuhyun will never hurt me" Shouts Donghae.
"But I'm not lying. They even engage in behind us. That's why I ended up with Siwon, because I caught them having an affair behind my back "
Donghae covered his ears and shook his head. He did not want to hear again the words Hyukjae.
"That's not true, Kyuhyun loves me. not Siwon!"
"I never said he did not love you, Donghae. But I do. I speak the truth! I Don't want to tell you earlier, but I can't keep lying to you!"
Donghae stood up and went to leave Hyukjae. He did not want to hear lies from the hyukjae mouth. He hates to hear that, Hyukjae took a quick step and blocking Donghae.
"You have to trust me Donghae." Hyukjae pleaded. Donghae shook his head again.
"No." He said in a loud voice. His demeanor became serious.
"No, I will not believe you because I know you're lying .. Kyuhyun would never do anything like that. I don't want to talk to you again" Donghae sneered in disgust.
"You're just jealous of me and Kyuhyun, because you and siwon ends"
"You are so blind!! You don't know anything about love, Donghae! If you do, you will see Kyuhyun was not even interested in you anymore "Hyukjae scoffed donghae, his voice cracking. He could feel the tears stinging he eyes.
"When was the last time he touches you, when was the last time he kissed you? When was the last time he said he loved you?"
Donghae swallowed hard and blinked, tears fell. Everything began to fall into perspective. It is true, kyuhyun seemed less interested in Donghae. He never kissed him, he never touched it. Even last time donghae try to touch, Kyuhyun was so surprised as if he'd . But Donghae thought it was normal.
"shut your mouth!" Donghae shouted. He began to think of all that are hyukjae pronounced. Donghae shook his head. No, it can't be true.
"Donghae Wait!" Hyukjae cried when Donghae ran through the pouring rain in torrents. Donghae did not turn around. He walked back to the apartment. Hyukjae going to pursue donghae, but he stopped. Hyukjae roared with frustration.
"Stupid, Stupid!" He cursed the name Siwon and Kyuhyun's. If they never begin to see each other everything will be fine. It's all their fault.
Apartment
Kyuhyun heard the front door open. He quickly got out of bed. Siwon resting beside him. kyuhyun shook siwon who fell asleep
"Siwon, woke up, I thought it might be Donghae!"
Siwon snapped up in bed. "Really?" He asked, eyes wide. Kyuhyun nodded and said to siwon hurry up and go. Siwon nodded. siwon Giving kiss goodbye, he snuck out of the room his boyfriend.
Donghae sulking in the hallway. His clothes were soaking wet, it leaves a trail of wet footprints front door to the main room. He wandered aimlessly in the hallway. He heart ached. Hyukjae words played over and over in his mind.
"No, no." Donghae muttered quietly to himself.
"Oh, Donghae!" Siwon startled. He had just slipped out of the room when Donghae stumbled up to the door of his room. Donghae raised his head and looked at Siwon with regret. He almost felt sorry for Siwon that he is dating a jerk like Hyukjae.
"Are you, hm, see Hyukjae?" Siwon asked nervously.
"I've been looking all over the room"
"Don't know, I don't care." Donghae replied coldly. Siwon seemed surprised by how Donghae speaks. Donghae normally so cheerful and happy.
"I thought, I have to go looking for it again." Siwon said as he went.
Donghae opened the door and stepped inside. He stared kyuhyun for a moment. Kyuhyun looked straight into Donghae. he looked scared and nervous. Kyuhyun crossed his arms.
"Where have you been?" Kyuhyun asked angrily.
"Play outside" Donghae muttered. He slowly pulling wet clothes. Kyuhyun sat down on his bed. He moved closer to Donghae
"Why are you wet?"
"Damn it, something fell from the sky and make base is Rain. When you are stuck and don't carry an umbrella. Would you wet" Donghae snapped sarcastically. He did not know what was it. He never yelled on Kyuhyun. He was always so nice and cheerful.
"Don't shout at me! Tell me where did you go" Kyuhyun demanded.
Donghae glared at Kyuhyun. He was so angry; Angry with Hyukjae. Angry with Siwon. Angry with Kyuhyun. And most importantly angry at himself. he could not believe he was really leery Kyuhyun
"I said I was out playing. You are in a position to ask me, where I am? Then where are you" Kyuhyun gulped, he began to feel nervous. He could feel Donghae began to suspect him.
"What do you mean. I'm here? Waiting for you!"
"Alone?" Donghae asked, tilting his head towards Kyuhyun.
"of course" Kyuhyun replied
"Do you suspect me of something, Donghae?"
Donghae sighed and sat on the edge of the bed. He ran his wet hair. He could not believe what he was doing. He's torn between two men. Both seem to speak the truth. So who should he trust? boyfriend or closest friends?
"I'm sorry. Sorry Kyuhyun, I was so rude to you"
"Its okay, Donghae." Kyuhyun whispered soothing. donghae rested his head on kyuhyun shoulder. kyuhyun hugged and rubbed the back of Donghae compassion.
___
Three days had passed since Hyukjae told the truth at Donghae. Since that day he disappeared. Hyukjae went home and did not return to the apartment. He did not want to be confusing and painful situations. He did not want to see Siwon and Kyuhyun, and he did not want to see Donghae cry. Hyukjae tried to calm himself. about Siwon, Hyukjae swore not matter anymore to him.
___
Siwon repeatedly tried to contact Hyukjae. But there was no answer. He had come to the hyukjae house, but he does not want to meet him. So, Siwon gave up. Although he was not in love with Hyukjae again, but Hyukjae remained his friend and he was worried for him.
Donghae back to home with a weak move. He felt dizzy with his mind. Hyukjae words always playing in his brain. He wanted to stop, to stop it all. However, the only way to stop everything is ask. So then, when he returned from college, he saw Siwon sitting at the dinner table. Not to eat, but he was just daydreaming and twirling the phone in his hand.
"Waiting for calling" donghae sitting in front siwon. Siwon smiled and nodded.
"no go home with Kyuhyun?"
"he said he had to meet with lecturer. Why no you go to college? "
"I'm lazy"
"Because you're worried about Hyukjae?"
"He avoiding me "
Donghae look siwon eyes, searching for the truth about the hyukjae speech. Had he really loves Kyuhyun, Kyuhyun true love, true they were both having an affair? The answer will never appear, if Donghae only asks himself. Donghae sighed. He would ask and know everything. He hopes Siwon laughed and said all was a lie. Donghae praying for it.
"Siwon"
Siwon looked up to see Donghae.
"You and Hyukjae, broken off?"
"Yes" it quickly. Siwon seriously without a smile answers all that.
"Is it true, because you love someone else?" Donghae nervous
"Yes"
"The man. Kyuhyun? "Donghae swears he could not breathe smoothly then. He was very nervous and scared waiting for an siwon answer. But Siwon is so relaxed, no smile he replied firmly.
"Yes"
Donghae tried to calm.
"You and Kyuhyun, together. That true? "
"Yes"
Donghae is already rising with emotion. Back the tears to fall.
"How long?" Siwon tense. He swallowed hard and decided it was too late to lie and apologized.
"A little more than one year." Siwon saw Donghae, his eyes so hurt and angry.
"Do you love him?"
Siwon did not hesitate with his answer. He took a deep breath and answered honestly.
"Yes. I love him "
___
Donghae walked scour the city with a sad face and emotion. He heart sick ... sore .. injured. He could not think properly in an atmosphere like this. All he could do when Siwon was telling the truth, he just ran and cried, even he does not know where he would go. When Donghae was tired running erratic, he finally rest in city park bench. He does not care how people look at him quizzically.
"Yes, I love him Donghae" Donghae always remember the words siwon clearly in his brain, and every time he remembers it. His head felt dizzy.
"What should I do????" Donghae said to himself.
***
It's been more than a week after Donghae knows everything. he avoids kyuhyun all the time. Don't even want to talk, face to face. Kyuhyun was confused by the behavior of Donghae. He thinks that Donghae already knows all his. Kyuhyun was immediately asked siwon then. siwon early wanted to cover all of it, but hyukjae tell everything to kyuhyun.
Kyuhyun did not know what to do. Does he have to apologize? but it is so difficult to approach Donghae lately. Kyuhyun always trying and trying, at his being within close proximity to Donghae. But Donghae as close to Kyuhyun was disgusted that he always made a long distance from him.
But this time Kyuhyun challenged.
Donghae is busy listening to music in his room interrupted by the arrival of a sudden Kyuhyun. Donghae was surprised, really don't want to talk to Kyuhyun. But kyuhyun forcing Donghae and pulled out of bed.
"What do you want it?" Donghae yelled as he took off his ipod
"I think we have to talk" Kyuhyun pleaded
"No need to talk anymore. I already know everything. So you don't need to denied, Kyuhyun "
"I can explain"
"Get out of my room ... ! "Donghae pointed out door told Kyuhyun
"No. Until you're willing to listen to me "
"OUT!!" donghae Shouted
"Donghae, you're away from me lately. I beg you please talk to me and heard me right. I need to talk to you "
"Is there a problem if I'm away from you kyu ... what do you feel hurt?" Donghae pout
"Of course I'm hurt, I'm ..." Kyuhyun has not had time to talk to more when Donghae cut
"who is more hurt. I'M ... I'M, NOT YOU !!! I love you Kyuhyun, more than anything. I always believed in you. Even to Hyukjae tell me about your relationship with Siwon. I don't believe, because I trust you. Although I always think of it, I always try to throw away the bad thoughts. Until the end ............. siwon recognizes all" Donghae screaming
"So, who is more deserving wounded. I just avoid you a couple of weeks. But you betrayed me more than one year "Donghae softened, his tears could no longer bear to flow in
"Donghae ... sorry "Kyuhyun apologized. He knows he was wrong
"Kyu, true ... all of it? you really loves siwon? " Donghae confirmed it once again. He did not hear Kyuhyun replied, but he could see clearly. Kyuhyun nodded. There was a pause after that. Kyuhyun just bowed his head did not dare look at Donghae with a face full of tears. While Donghae just stared at his lover with a sad look.
"And then .... You have to choose. Between me and siwon "Donghae said. Kyuhyun froze in place, try to think with donghae words. It is the most hated. CHOOSE! Kyuhyun looked at Donghae, he saw a sad face there. Donghae's pale face and eyes swollen with tears.
"Why? You don't get to choose? "
"Your love siwon, same with your love for me. It was hard to choose? but you have to choose kyu, siwon or me. If you choose me, I will give you the opportunity to build up my confidence again to you. But if you choose Siwon. I will go "
Kyuhyun froze. The tears never stopped. A lot he wants to say to Donghae then, but his lips are locked up.
"I love you, Donghae" Kyuhyun said
"But you love Siwon also" Donghae warned. Kyuhyun was silent, make donghae sure if Kyuhyun do love siwon
"Kyuhyun, I would go .............." surprising Kyuhyun.
"Donghae, you ... no, no "Kyuhyun did not know what to say.
"I'll go, if you're hard to choose" Donghae turned to leave, but kyuhyun quickly block Donghae to go. He knelt in front of Donghae, apologized and told him not to go. But also don't get to choose. Kyuhyun is very confused and frustrated.
"Donghae, please don't go. I love you. Really. Don't go "Kyuhyun pleaded. Donghae only silent, he felt kyuhyun hand squeezing his thighs when he knelt, begging.
"I'll take everything I want. I will not repeat it again. I'm sorry if I love you so much, kyuhyun "
"not Donghae, don't remove it all. I beg you to stay here with me "
"I would be happy, if you're happier with Siwon" Donghae stepped back, and left Kyuhyun who was still in shock with the situation. He stood up and chased Donghae. Kyuhyun did not want Donghae walked away. But he was too late. Everything, it's too late. Too late to apologize, too late choose and too late to pursue.
So, that night. Kyuhyun spent the rest of the day with tears.
***
Preview Chapter 4
"Kyuhyun, Donghae already left. Can't we be together now? "- Siwon
"I was a jerk. I bastards. But Donghae loves an like me "- Kyuhyun
"someone you love is donghae, not Siwon. It's called betrayal because you don't say at Donghae. You're not honest with him, and the reason why you hide your relationship with Siwon is because you love Donghae. You're afraid if Donghae knew, he would leave. It's easy, if you really love Siwon. You can tell everything to Donghae, as Siwon did at Hyukjae. And donghae might get hurt, but in the end. You and Siwon could together. And all finished. But you don't do that, because you ... loves Donghae "- Ryeo Wook
"I don't know. Everything he wrote here is all about me "- Kyuhyun
***
notes : Comment Please, don't be silent reader !!!
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