Chance Two

Point Two

I have noticed the new guy after lunch, one day. I’m on my way to the cafeteria, passing his office. He is bent over the computer keyboard, his brows are crossed, his lips are pursed, and his eyes are concentrated on the screen. He seems frustrated over something, but he starts to hum a soft melody, proving my assumptions wrong. I know who he is, but we aren’t personally acquainted. I have seen him around the office building, always surrounded by a crowd of female employees from departments other than his own. He seems good natured, friendly at the very least. However, seeing this scene in front of me, I think I have discovered a new him.

His looks separate him from other men, his almost feminine-like qualities, his lanky yet confident stand, his eyes, his smile, this frustrated look on his face…

Why do I feel like drowning?

Kim Jaejoong-sshi, who are you?

He looks up suddenly, catching me off guard. He smiles with a tilt of his head, as if asking why I’m watching him. But he utters otherwise and asks what he can do for me. I shake my head in response and hasten away. I come back to that very spot a couple of days later, this time hiding as I watch his changing expressions. Each time he draws me in deeper and deeper, until I can’t possibly find my way out anymore.

I have never thought it possible – for someone to make me feel this way. I have always thought that with my situation and up-bringing, I will either be a nun or frozen delight. Of course, being a nun is more like it since I doubt that I’ll live long enough to be frozen. But even so, falling in love is something far-fetched and unconceivable to me. Especially not with someone I barely know.

I walk down to hall to my own office; I am alone because it is still lunch time. I lean on my arms and slowly drift off to sleep. I start to dream, to see the world through the eyes of another human being. I dream of searching for someone. I run through the dark forest, pathless and cold, but my feet won’t stop and my heart screams – yells – for me to go faster – to not let my love go.

It’s confusing. Oh-so confusing. And tears run down my cheeks, my heart yearning to say my love’s name once again. But it isn’t me. I’m not the one who’s suffering. I’m not the one who’s chasing. I don’t know who this person is. I don’t know why this person is left alone.

I don’t know why he is me.

“Riin-ah,” the soft voice of my best friend woke me, almost tearing a painful yelp from my throat. She smiles and tells me that the manager has just stepped in and wants all of us to gather around. “There’s a new guy,” she tries to explain, my own gasp cutting her statement short.

Because there, standing by Mr. Im, is the last person I can think of seeing in this office. There stands my older brother’s best friend.

“This is Kim Junsu, everyone. He’s the new Leg-Res*.” Mr. Im smiles at us, pleased that he has everyone’s attention – or so he thinks. “Junsu isn’t that experienced yet, he’s been doing something entirely different. So be friendly to him and guide him accordingly, okay, guys?” he nods with a smile, hearing my colleagues’ affirmative answers. Mr. Im says his goodbye and good luck and proceeds back to his own office, closing the door to the world.

Everyone else crowds around the new guy, asking a variety of things about him. He answers them all, seeming very charismatic as he does so.

Where has this creature come from?

Because I do not know him.

And we have grown up with each other.

“Please don’t tell me that you’re here because oppa asked of you,” I ask him the moment everybody else is settled in the own respective places.

He smiles but shakes his head no. “As a matter of fact, he nearly kicked me in the shin when I told him that I’ll be working here.”

“Then tell me why are you here.”

“Well, appa asked me to step up to the title bread-winner. I can’t do that if I’m training, right?” Junsu tilts his head, waiting for me to agree. “And this company gives really good benefits, so I grabbed the chance. Plus, I can be here to look over you. Isn’t it great?”

“Yeah,” I reply mockingly. “It’s like hitting two birds with one stone,” I continue, my back already towards him. I can’t believe that he’s here.

I have never taught that this place can also equate to hell.

Damn you, Kim Junsu. You just made me hate you more.

*Leg-Res: Legal Researcher