“Disgusting”

“Hyung, does this mean that I have to be more sensitive towards you?”

“Hyung, Should I tell the stylist to dress you up like a girl too?”

“I don’t want to share rooms with a gay guy”

Young Jae couldn’t take the constant insults that he got from his band mates, even the two youngest were downing him because of his newly found fact: Being Gay.

Of course he didn’t mind the first few shoves or dirty looks he got from Yong Guk, being the homophobe he was. He didn’t really care about Zelo and Jong Up’s smart comments because they didn’t really understand what being gay was. But what he didn’t expect was his best friend, Dae Hyun, to shut him out like he was the bubonic plague. He no longer wanted to spend time with him, didn’t want to be in the same room as him, he barely even looked at him, and during the night he would go straight to sleep, his back facing him. He felt hurt but said nothing because he thought that maybe, just maybe, they would get used to it and no longer judge him.

But he was wrong.

After a few months, they still acted that way towards him. Refusing to shower with him whenever they would go to the sauna. They didn’t even like going to the bathroom with him, saying that he belonged in the woman’s restroom. Finally, that night he couldn’t take it.

When they got home, Young Jae dashed into his room, locked the door, jumped on his bunk bed and cried. Just cried. Sobbing as he wrapped his blanket around himself.

“Ya! Yoo Young Jae! Open this door!” Dae Hyun yelled, banging on the paper thin door. “What are you doing? Are you crying?”

“He’s crying?” He could hear Yong Guk’s low voice. “What a sissy, be a ing man Young Jae.”

It made Young Jae cry even more. Why were the members doing this to him? Making fun of him and shunning him. Didn’t they make a promise to always support each other no matter what? He kept crying, gripping his comforter as his heart ached at the broken promise. He wished that someone could comfort him right now, to hug him, to not judge him, to treat him like a regular person, this wasn’t fair.

**

Young Jae didn’t know when he fell asleep until he woke up to the bright sun light that shot through the small window in his room. He looked to Dae Hyun’s bed and saw the sleeping figure, his back faced to him. They must’ve used the spare key, Young Jae thought to himself as he got up and walked out of the room and into the living room.

“Young Jae ah!” he heard a kind, raspy voice say.

Young Jae turned his head to see the familiar uzzlang, sitting at their wooden kitchen table, smiling at him and drinking a cup of coffee.

“Hyung, when did you get back?” he asked, looking at him directly.

“Oh my god!” Him Chan ran to him, grabbing a hold of his face to take a look at his swollen eyes. “What happened to your eyes? Were you crying?” he frowned.

A bit of warmth almost took over Young Jae as the suddenly act of kindness was displayed. But then he realized, Him Chan knew nothing.

Young Jae shook the feelings away and sighed, pushing Him Chan away. “Aren’t you supposed to be at your parents house to heal your hand properly? What are you doing back?”

“I missed you,”

Young Jae shot a look at his hyung who just blinked at him and smiled. “What?”

“I missed you guys!” he patted Young Jae’s back.

Young Jae tried to laugh at his hyung’s stupid comment but couldn’t shake it out of his mind. He missed him too.

**

They all sat around the dining table in silence as Him Chan rambled on about being stuck at home with his parents and how boring it was. He didn’t seem to notice though until he looked at Young Jae who kept his head low.

“Young Jae ah~” Him Chan cooed, making Young Jae look up at him. “I’ve been gone for too long. You still have nothing to say? I’m surprised! You always have some smart comment to make feel stupid.” He shook his head. “Did I miss something while I was gone?” eyeing out the other members.

Young Jae blushed and just shook his head. He liked the attention he was getting from his hyung. It made him feel normal, he wished that Him Chan would never-

“Yeah, you did miss something Him Chan.” Yong Guk broke Young Jae’s thoughts.

“Oh, and that is?” Him Chan raised his eyebrow.

“Young Jae is-“

“Him Chan hyung!” Young Jae stood up from his seat and yelled.

Everyone looked at him, Him Chan was amused by his dongsaengs sudden energy burst. “Yes?”

“Young Jae is gay,”

Young Jae glared at his Yong Guk who nonchalantly drank his juice and smirked. He could feel the familiar heaviness in his eyes and stared down to the ground, not being able to look at Him Chan and, what he imagined, disgusted face. The relationship Young Jae thought wouldn’t be ruined was crushed before his eyes.

“So you better stop acting so nice to him or else he’ll get a crush on you.”

“Look the girl is crying,” Jong Up laughed.

“Better stay away from him hyung, you don’t want to catch gay either.” Zelo chuckled.

SLAP

Young Jae looked up and saw the maknae holding his cheek. Him Chan’s eyes were raging as he glared at the maknae.

“You’re so stupid.” He gritted through his teeth. “Who cares if Young Jae is gay? He’s still the same person!” he yelled. “And are you really going to let them speak to him that way?” he looked at Dae Hyun.

Dae Hyun grabbed Young Jae’s arm and gripped it tight. “He’s a disgusting freak that likes guys.” He threw Young Jae, making him fall onto the floor. Dae Hyun glared at Young Jae. “He’s not my best friend, just someone that looks like him.”

Young Jae could feel the tears falling uncontrollable down his face as he scrambled to get up. He ran straight into his room, drowning out the loud screams that came from the kitchen, and dishes slamming onto the hard floor. He just ran to his bed and cried into his blanket, trying to muffle out the sobs, but he just couldn’t help but break.

“Young Jae ah~” he could hear a familiar voice enter his room.

Young Jae turned in his bed to face the wall but it didn’t stop the other male from coming to his side, placing his hands on his arms to turn him, making Young Jae look up into his big dark eyes.

“H-Him Chan hy-“ His words were cut when Him Chan unexpectedly placed a kiss on the youngers forehead. “H-hyung” he stuttered again.

Him Chan fixed Young Jae so he was in a sitting position and leaned him against the wall, getting on top of the youngers bed and sitting next to him.

“They’ve been giving you trouble like that ever since I was gone?” Him Chan looked at the other.

Young Jae looked at his hyung, whose eyes screamed comfort. He nodded his head and suddenly tears began to fall from his eyes.

Him Chan wrapped his arm around Young Jae’s waist and pulled him closer, making the younger grab onto his shirt and begin crying from the loving gesture.

“It’s okay,” Him Chan sighed. “I’ll never let them hurt you or make you cry every again.”

“P-please d-don’t h-hate me” he sobbed out.

Him Chan made Young Jae get into a sitting position again to get a good look at him. “Why would I hate you?” he paused. “Because you like guys?”

He whimpered, nodded, and wiped his tears with the back of his hands. “You heard Dae Hyun, I’m disgusting. It’s better if I just leave the group.”

Him Chan pulled Young Jae in for a tight hug. “Don’t ever say that.” He whispered into his ear.

The younger pulled away from his hyung but the older male gripped his arms as he tried to move. They stared at each other and finally Young Jae could see the tears welling in Him Chan’s eyes.

“You’re perfect, Young Jae~ah. Who cares what they think? You’re beautiful and don’t let their stupid comments make you think other wise.”

“I-I w-wish I could believe you.” Young Jae turned his head but Him Chan was too quick, he pulled him closer and pressed their lips together.

Young Jae eyes shot open at the sudden action, only to see Him Chan’s eyes shut tightly. He followed quickly, melting into the kiss, only for the older to pull back slowly.

“Do you believe me now?” Him Chan asked.

Young Jae opened his eyes and nodded. “H-hyung are you?”

Him Cha just simply nodded, “I have been. Ever since I met you.”

“W-what?!” Young Jae exclaimed.

“I’ve loved you for a long time. I just never said because I was afraid of well,” he looked away for a bit. “You’d hate me.”

Finally Young Jae took the initiative this time and pulled Him Chan, pressing their lips together once more. “Him Chan hyung,” he moaned through their kiss.

Again, Him Chan pulled away and smiled at the younger, “Looks like we’re both disgusting huh?”

Young Jae playfully hit him, “Don’t make me cry.”

Him Chan pulled him in for a hug and laughed, “I love you. I never want to see you cry again.”

“You’re going to make me cry by saying those things!” Young Jae hit his chest, making Him Chan laugh even more.

“Just tell me you love me, then I’ll stop.”

Young Jae felt a blush creep onto his face and just whimpered.

Him Chan pushed Young Jae gently, climbed off the bed and patted Young Jae’s head. “You’re so cute.” He smiled. “I’ll let you sleep.”

As the older turned to leave, he could feel someone tugging on his shirt. He turned back to Young Jae who hung his head down.

“Stay with me,” he said softly.

A wide grin spread across Him Chan’s face, following his order and got into his bed. Young Jae rested his head on Him Chan’s chest and wrapped his arms around his waist.

“H-hyung,” Young Jae whispered.

“Hmm,” he pulled him closer.

“I love you.”