CHAPTER NINE:Fearing

Why was it raining? Rain wasn’t supposed to come until few months later, but it just seemed, at least for MyungSoo, that the sky was trying to console his sensible soul. Bad sensations… Why were they hunting him once again? Why was his soul in charge to keep locked those hurtful intuitions? He, as time passed, had learned to control them, to make his feelings show as he was pleased, not hurting others, keep himself from outsiders, faking a normal life. Why, when he was able to do what few people could, did SungYeol decide to break into him? Why did the rain decide to surprise him, bringing back all those memories? Freedom, that was what they were asking, something MyungSoo wasn’t willing to give to them.

So even though MyungSoo was there, he was deaf to the teacher’s explanation. No, he barely knew a thing. He was smart, but school had never taught him something useful for his decadent life. He felt bad for SungGyu who had faith school was going to give his life a positive turn. Who knows? Maybe yes, but MyungSoo couldn't find his mind to pay attention. He was different from the other students. His life was completelly different. Passing incospicuous was something MyungSoo wanted. He really wanted to pass by like another student but his features were enough to make him stand out. Keeping silent made it easier for him. MyungSoo had survived high schooldoodling the classes away and managing to get a simple yet comfortable mark. Attention wasn’t good. He knew better than that.
 

Yes, fifth period was over and soon MyungSoo would go back home. Did he care? Of course. There were no regrets in doodling on all of his notebooks. He just wanted to go back and make that bad sensation disappear from his body. At least that was what MyungSoo wanted.

Quickly the teenager, set his notebook in his schoolbag and decided to go drink some water. He didn’t want more questions. “Where were you, Soo-kun?” “Were you sick?” “Soo-chan, are you into something?” Too many. He had simply entered the classroom and everyone started to make him way too many questions it slightly panicked the young boy. Asking the youngster way too many questions at the same time wasn’t gonna make MyungSoo talk!

An apologetic smile was given to the teen from one of his classmates who let him escape. MyungSoo smiled too, giving the boy what he was waiting for, the “golden smile” and went to the fountain, his eyes suddenly filled with a familiar view. A pretty boy.

When was it that MyungSoo had stopped seeing that boy? That was a pretty good question; MyungSoo tried to remember. Two months? No, it could be more. Why had he stopped seeing him? He’d had no other option. He had needed to run away, to leave everything behind.

His arms, legs, even his hands, they were all skinny. God, he seemed to float in the now huge uniform that not so long ago had made him look beautiful. His big orbs had no glow and were harshly covered with big dark circles, but, even with all those ungraceful features, a soft smile brightened his looks.

“MyungSoo…” he whispered before he threw his thin body against the taller male who only felt… bones.

“Jongie,” the older answered back letting his fingers comb the slighly wavy hair. A tender action that didn’t match his monotone voice.

“Where have you been?” SungJong asked in perfect joren with worried eyes. As a typical MyungSoo answer, he slightly shrugged before taking his hand. They couldn’t talk freely in front of the fountain, teachers could call their attention; also they were quite noticeable since they formed part of the few half blood people from the school. No way in hell they were going to have a conversation in there. For personal conversations, the roof was the best place to talk - under to an overhang, that usually hid them from the rain or sunrays. And that was exactly the place MyungSoo brought SungJong letting his eyes roam to him.

“First answer me where were you?” He coughed roughly before continuing. “I know people had been asking, but I do care, MyungSoo.”
 

How those big orbs managed to see deep into MyungSoo's soul was a question the student sometimes wanted to know the answer. Maybe that way more people could understand him, but right now, with him, he was okay.

“…I’m living with a man—”

“He sold you?!” Surprise came from both.

“No, no. He… he wouldn’t do that,” MyungSoo sighed, even in his monotonous voice there was a hint of sadness. “I’m his best card.”

“You never dared to reveal,” SungJong frowned with the memories. "You’re so well mannered he takes advantage of you.”
 

“But I left,” MyungSoo said knitting his eyebrows in shame as his eyes decided to pay attention to the droplets that started to make rain poodles, “…they crossed the line…”

“Oh…”

MyungSoo had patience, he really did. He could be a good boy, he had to be a good one, but when he managed to reach the end of it… It meant something really bad happened. And SungJong knew that. He knew the older boy had been hurt way too much to bear it now. After so many years, they finally reached the boy’s end. That wasn’t right. That wasn’t fair. They had to pay…
 

“And this man you are living with…?”

“He respects me. Kinda sees me like a little brother," his words didn’t express much happiness. Yeah, MyungSoo wasn’t quite comfortable with it. Why? No real answer for that question.

“That’s good to hear.”
 

That being said, they let their bodies cuddle against the other, like little kittens looking for the lost warmth in their bodies, leaving their identical pained souls to console the other, remembering, together, their struggle, while their eyes paid attention to the rain. It was pouring like their hearts.

“Now… will you tell me?”

Not wanting to remember more of his past MyungSoo asked turning to see the younger boy that wasn’t eager to look at him in the eyes now.
 

“Not much happened,” SungJong said coughing once again. "Kitagawa fired me…”

“Hah? …what did you do?” MyungSoo was intrigued, this wasn’t a normal action that man made.

“I was stupid enough to get AIDS… we found out a week after you disappeared,” he said picking on his rstyled but scratched nails. “So now I’m working on my own, not like I got another option. I managed to keep on going. Although I’ve been tired for a while now… I guess that’s part of having that .”

“But—?”

“I’m not like you MyungSoo, I don’t follow the rules and that’s what I got…” he said as he raised his gaze to the skies. “Now I can’t get out of my wall. I can’t go to a doctor, not that I got time or money, either way, if I do, bad things could happen, and I don’t want that.”
 

“SungJong…”
 

“It’s okay MyungSoo. There really isn’t a thing we can do about it. I just can come to school and believe for a while I’m normal like all of them… At night I can play revenge with any idiot that comes to me begging for some company, and it’s great. They even pay me!” He laughed bitterly or at least his mouth did, since his eyes were venting hot tears.

“I’m sorry,” MyungSoo whispered; tears were coming from his eyes too. “I should have been there for you—”
 

“Don’t say , MyungSoo!” His severe voice cut though his hot tears and dark laugh, just a warm smile appeared on his lips after the pause. Slowly, his trembling fingers went into the task to dry the boy’s damped cheeks. “You don’t deserve this we’ve been through, you are special MyungSoo. I’m so glad you’re free from that ’s hands.”

MyungSoo just shook his head not liking the idea of his best friend ending up that way.
 

“There must be something I could do…” the older suggested, his eyes were pleading. His eyes were the only thing that could show his feelings. His voice was still controlled.

“In fact MyungSoo, there is something,” SungJong murmured after a while.
 

Without another thing said, the pretty boy raised his skinny body from where both were sitting and walked into the rain. His wavy hair started to soak and so did his uniform. His cheeks took colour because of the cold he felt. And still, in MyungSoo's eyes, he looked beautiful. So alive it wasn’t even real. He had never seen him with such a bright smile. SungJong was holding his hands up in the sky as if begging for the rain to wash away all his sins and illness. Even his laugh was real the moment it was released from his lips.
 

“MyungSoo,” he shouted to the boy who was admiring him at the moment. “Go and see the world that is behind your wall!” His tears were mixed with the rain droplets. “I want you to see what I couldn’t! I want you to feel it! I guess it’s beautiful, I’ve dreamed about it!”

“…I’ve too,” the older said as he stood, a small roof covering him from the water.
 

“Well, you must do it, since I can’t.” SungJong said looking deep into the boy’s orbs. “Go see it with your beautiful blue eyes. Make that curse of yours a blessing.” He snickered at the boy before he walked closer to him. The overhang covering him from the rain while SungJong on the other side was soaking wet under the rain. The division was so clear it made things more dramatic in MyungSoo's soul. “Let’s get the out of this place and enjoy what we can.”
 

His slim hand crossed to the dry side, getting a hesitating look from the older boy.

“But… it’s raining.”
 

“Good memories can come from rain too.” He grinned when MyungSoo's hand took his.

Both were now running in the rain.

Just like before. Two little kids having fun, enjoying time, living at the top for those few seconds. Not having an idea of what was about to happen to them, to him. Because people always say that good things come to an end when you least expect it to happen. When you feel everything is getting better and soon the best comes, you don’t realize that was the best thing that was going to happen in your life and then everything was going to fall down after it. Because, really, who knew that was going to be there?

“I guess it’s time for you to stop playing around Soo-chan…”

That rough voice.

That sensation of fear that reached up to his bones.

What was he doing there?

“Father…”

Tired wasn’t even a word that could begin to describe everything the young busienssman was feeling at the moment. Even if people thought he was a perfect junior, he wasn’t. SungYeol got to work his off so things could go right in the company. After all, he had to learn how to control it. The company was going to be his soon, and he couldn’t let himself make it go bankrupt in less than a second. Might sound impossible, but beingSungYeol, it was way possible.

Still, his mind wasn’t cooperating at all. MyungSoo's last expression he had shown in the drive to school – from the worried one to the shy one – were all running in SungYeol's mind making him feel weird.

“” The tall man couldn’t stop himself from saying as he let his head hit the desk in front of him. Followed by another curse that was echoed the moment the phone rang.

“Goddamnit Secretary Jung, what is it now?” SungYeol couldn’t stop his mouth from releasing the anger he was feeling at the moment.

“I’m sorry, Director, but DongWoo-sshi is calling—”

“Tell him I’m busy.”
 

“He says it’s important, ” Secretary Jung insisted, making SungYeol roll his eyes in anger.
 

“Fine.” With that he hung up and picked up the call his assistant gave him. “What is it?”

“SungYeol-sshi, it’s the young man—”

“What happened with MyungSoo?” His anger turned into fear. In DongWoo's voice he could sense something bad was happening.

“He’s not at school,” DongWoo said a bit desperate. “He’s gone. ”

And so, was SungYeol's soul.