When the rumors first started spreading, I paid them no attention. Every idol makes a mistake, and I figured this was just one of those times - apologies would be given, some time would be taken off, and then the comebacks, performances, and interviews would start up again. But more and more news kept coming out, and the more and more I heard, the more I worried for him.

There were mutterings of "leave Korea" and "totally disgraced". I desperately wanted to ask JYP what was going to happen, but as Sunye advised me, that would be unwise...after all, he already suspected our relationship, and had already been singling us out for the "no dating while promoting" lectures. And to have gone straight to the source, well, that would have been even more impossible. He was being watched like a hawk, his cell phone taken away, all form of communication to the outside world banned. One night, when I desperately turned to soju to take away my stress, I made the decision to march straight to his dorm - luckily, Chansung was there to stop me; all it took was a shake of his head, and I allowed him to me back home.

And then it struck - he was leaving. He was leaving his dorm, his position, his group, his country - he was leaving ALL of it, including me. I watched his leave on the news channels, and I pored over his pictures at the airport for hours at a time. Despite the sadness of his leaving, I was also hopeful. He could be happy in America, right? And best of all, he would be free to actually be with me...I would continue the deception, but he wouldn't have to lie anymore. I could see him in America, and there'd be no reason for him to not come back to Korea, just to visit, right?

And it was with this happiness that I followed his every move in America, watched him appear on American local news, kept up with AOM's activities. I secretly kept up with his twitter and youtube accounts, and watched the clips where he danced his heart out.

But that happiness soon faded, because even though he was free, now, to contact me....he never did. He never even said goodbye.

Park Jaebum.....is it true? That after all we've been through, you've forgotten me?