Chapter 4

 

We held hands the rest of the walk back. We talked occasionally, but for most of the time we remained in a comfortable silence.

I could feel people glancing in our direction, intrigued by the sight of two boys in large scarves holding hands, but I didn't care. I was just glad to be with him.

All too soon, we arrived back at our hotel. I glanced down at our intertwined hands. I hadn't really thought about the rest of FT Island up to this point. I'd never thought Jaejin would return his feelings.

"Umm... Seunghyun's probably back," I said with a hint of dejection. I began to open my hands the tiniest bit.

He held tighter. "You don't want them to know?"

I looked up, surprised. "I don't know... Are you okay with them knowing?"

"I don't want there to be any secrets between us or the members. Plus, they'd find out eventually. We live together."

I pursed my lips together. My heart beat rose for the seventeen-hundredth time that day. I didn’t know he was so open to the idea of everyone knowing. He was so mature… I had to be, too. "You're right."

This had been one of the things I'd been dreading. To tell the members or not.

My body tingled with a different anxiety than the one I'd get from Jaejin. This tension was like giving a speech that was worth half my grade, or like the day I debuted on stage as a member of FT Island.

Only the nerves were quadruple that.

What would this mean for FT Island? I didn’t want to think about it. It would be so much easier to just keep it a secret…

No. Jaejin is right. We shouldn’t keep secrets from our members. We’d just bury ourselves deeper and deeper into a web of lies.

And maybe… There was the chance that no one was home?

Pfft. Yeah right.

I took a deep breath. “Are you ready?”

“Yeah. Nervous, but… I’m ready.”

He took a breath too, rolling his shoulders. He squeezed my hand reassuringly. His palms were uncomfortably hot now, but I didn’t let go.

I could feel his hands shaking a little bit. Maybe it was me. I couldn’t tell.

He unlocked the front door with the key. I jumped.

Breathe, Minhwan. Breathe.

The door clicked open with an eerie creak. He pulled me inside. I followed cautiously, keeping my guard up as if I were waiting for ghosts to pop out of nowhere.

Jaejin closed the door quietly and flipped the light on. Not a sound came from the living room.

There was nobody here.

I secretly thanked the heavens.

“O-oh… No one’s home, I guess…” I said nervously, scratching my head. Jaejin didn’t respond.

Just then, someone leaped from the other side of the couch. “HAH! I knew it!” Jaejin and I jumped, startled by the sudden appearance of Seunghyun, who was now in a squatting position pointing at our intertwined hands.

“What the- what are you doing, sitting here in the dark??” Jaejin commanded. I caught a slight blush in his cheeks.

I couldn’t handle it. Flustered, I yanked my hand apart from Jaejin’s. His arm slowly fell back to his side. I immediately felt sorry for what I did, but it was too much; I couldn’t meet Seunghyun’s fiery stare.

“You two were holding hands. I saw it,” Seunghyun said in a boisterous tone, as if he were realizing something life-changing.

A pause followed. Jaejin then straightened his back. “Yeah. We were.”

Seunghyun fell silent.

My forehead moistened with sweat. He was suspecting us. I knew it. This was it. I braced myself for the worst.

I waited.

I waited for Seunghyun to explode.

I kept waiting.

…

Nothing happened.

I was beyond puzzled. I lifted my head. The same mischievous smile was written on Seunghyun’s face. His eyes twinkled with a familiar deviousness.

My eyebrows wrinkled. I looked to Jaejin, whose eyes showed his own confusion.

“It worked.” His cunning grin grew.

My mind went blank.

…What?

What had just happened?

What did he mean, “It worked”?

What the hell was he talking about?

Was this really happening? My head spun with the bombardment of questions.

“W… What are you…?” I stuttered.

Seunghyun fled the room before I could finish. “Yah! Hongki-hyung! It worked!”

Jaejin and I stood awkwardly in the middle of the apartment as the nearby bedroom was filled with Seunghyun’s animated yelling. We listened as he jumped onto the bed, waking up Hongki from his sleep. He crabbily complained and tried to push him away, but Seunghyun mumbled something to him that was incomprehensible to us. A couple seconds later, Hongki flew out of the bedroom, hair wildly untamed, and had a dorky smile plastered on his face.

Jaejin and I briefly exchanged glances.

None of us moved.

“So… dongsaengs… where were you two off to?”

“Um…"

“We got dinner,” Jaejin said coolly. “And, there’s something we need to tell you…”

Before he could continue, Hongki pranced up to him and pressed his finger against Jaejin’s mouth clumsily to shush him. “No. Don’t say it yet.”

Jaejin slapped Hongki’s hand away in annoyance. “Hyung, we need to tell you now. Where’s Jonghun?”

As if by magic, the hotel door swung open, revealing Jonghun. Seunghyun sprung from Hongki’s room and bounded over to Jonghun fervently, causing Jonghun to stumble backwards. “Aish Seunghyun, I didn’t know you missed me so much~”

Seunghyun slapped Jonghun’s bicep. “Hyung! It worked!”

His eyes grew large. “What? Are you serious?”

“Why would I lie?”

“Really?? I didn’t think it would!”

Hongki chimed in. “Insane, right? But you could have told me after I slept…”

“It couldn’t wait that long.”

“Wait, how do you know it worked, anyways?”

I didn’t know about Jaejin, but my blood was boiling.

What… the heck… was going on? I clenched my fists.

“Yah!”

The three of them fell silent and focused their attention on me. I didn’t realize how loud I’d screamed until they’d shut up. I felt my ears burn.

“What… What is going on?” I stammered.

The three exchanged knowing glances at one another. To say I was getting impatient would be an understatement. Had they accepted us? Did they even know? I didn’t understand anything coming out of their mouths. What “worked”?

Jonghun began, setting his bag of supposed groceries on the counter.

“Our plan. It worked.”

Hongki and Seunghyun nodded ecstatically, grins wide.

I was about to punch the wall.

“What plan?” Jaejin asked calmly. His response surprised me. Oh yeah, I forgot. I gotta be mature about this. I tried to breathe deeply again.

“So, you know today’s fanmeeting?” Seunghyun said in a scheming tone. We nodded carefully.

The kiss.

“And you know your guys’ dare?” He raised an eyebrow.

The kiss… They’d…

“All our doing,” Hongki sang cheekily.

“It was my idea,” Jonghun added.

Hongki’s face scrunched. “No it wasn’t.”

“Uh, yeah it was!”

They’d… They’d planned it.

The kiss.

Everything.

It was all them.

And their plan had apparently worked. Their goal was to get Jaejin and me together?

So… They’d accepted us as a couple? And they knew this whole time about our feelings? Was it for fun? Had they really meant for us to get together? They didn’t know it was my first kiss…

I grew dizzy again. I was anxious, fired up and, strangely…

Happy.

They’d accepted us.

I could keep both Jaejin and FT Island. I didn’t have to lose anything. I was so overwhelmed that I almost started to cry.

“How… How did you know…?” I said a bit shakily.

“Aw, c’mon,” Seunghyun droned. “Kissing, hugging, sleeping together, that was enough for me. Plus, someone happened to tell me something…” he trailed off, eyes on Jaejin. I saw Jaejin's cheeks flush a bit as he smiled.

I couldn’t contain my smile either. I was overcome with relief and delight. I knew Jaejin felt the same.

“So…” Jaejin said, reaching to the side to grab hold of my hand again. My heart skipped a beat. “You’re okay with our relationship?”

“Of course, idiots,” Jonghun replied with a roll of his eyes, but he was beaming. “Why do you think we’d plan something like that? You two are just too cute.”

“Just don’t make out in front of us or anything, alright?” Hongki added with a strange laugh.

“Well, it’s a little late for that…” Jaejin mentioned. “You already made us kiss in front of like… thousands of people.”

Hongki pondered this. “…Huh. You’re right. Do whatever, then.” He whipped around and made his way back to his bedroom. “Goodnight, love birds~”

I rolled my eyes at his ignorance. We called our goodnights to him while we remained in the kitchen. I still felt warm with happiness. Seunghyun then averted his attention from Jaejin and I to Jonghun’s grocery bag and began rummaging through its contents.

“Yah, what are you doing!? Give it back,” Jonghun demanded.

“Why? Oh ho, what’s this? Candy?” He the plastic wrapping of the small package, fascinated.

Jonghun blushed furiously and yanked it away from his grasp, but Seunghyun had already grabbed a tube-shaped dispenser of some sort from the bag.

“Shaving cream? Durex Play? What kind of brand is that?”

“STOP IT. IT’S NOTHING.” He stole the bottle from Seunghyun viciously, causing him to say ‘aww’ in disappointment. Jonghun grabbed the bag and stormed away.

He left with a grumble, continuing to curse under his breath. Jaejin stared off in Jonghun’s direction, bewildered at something. I didn’t get why Jonghun was so embarrassed. He bought candy and shaving cream. What was so bad about that?

“Tch… I don’t get what Jonghun’s problem is sometimes,” Seunghyun said, scratching his head. “Whatever. It’s really late. I’m gonna go to bed, guys.”

“Mm,” Jaejin replied. I nodded.

We watched him as he walked into… my bedroom.

“Uh… Seunghyun-hyung…?” I said cautiously, “That’s my bedroom…”

“Mmhm. I know. I just want to… try out your bed. Mine’s so uncomfortable,” Seunghyun cooed flirtatiously. “You can take my spot and sleep with Jaejin. Goodnight!”

I seethed in embarrassment. I made a mental note to shove Seunghyun into the oven tomorrow.

As soon as Seunghyun closed the door, Jaejin and I looked at each other.

He then squeezed my hand and smiled. “That wasn’t so bad, was it?”

I looked away in an attempt to hide my reddening face. “…No.”

He sighed. “They make me wonder sometimes.”

I smiled. “Me too. But I’m glad. I’m glad they’re okay with it. And I’m glad you’re here with me. I’m just… really happy…”

I felt myself choking up again. I had never been on such an emotional roller coaster like I was today.

His eyes sparkled. He then pulled me into an embrace for the second time that night. I held him tightly, also. We stayed there for awhile, soaking up our warmth.

“Me too.”

 

I entered the bedroom. Jaejin was seated criss-cross on the bed, reading another book he’d gotten from a fan. He looked up when I appeared. His facial expression quickly transformed when he saw me.

“Minhwan-ah, what’re you wearing?” Jaejin said, laughing.

I glared and turned my body away from him, covering myself with my hands reflexively. “W… what’s wrong with it?”

But he was right. My clothes were, needless to say, enormous. I’d hunted around in Seunghyun’s room for clothes because I was scared of meeting Seunghyun face to face; I did not need him commenting on me sleeping with Jaejin, and if I did have to look at him, it might not have ended pretty. He was the cause of this after all.

But at the same time… I had to thank him. I was thankful for all of the members. They’d believed in us. They were the reason I was with Jaejin like this now. I was eternally grateful because of them.

But still.

“Oh, nothing…” Jaejin replied in a carefree tone, “it’s just…”

“What? What?”

“They make you look so much shorter than you already are,” he said with a snicker.

“I am not short!” I yelled. I ran over and jumped on top of him. I pinned him down with my stomach. Jaejin groaned.

“God, okay! Okay! You win!”

“Say I’m tall!”

“Ngh…”

“Say iiiiit.”

“Fine, you’re tall.”

“And I’m handsome.”

“You’re… handsome,” Jaejin choked. He blushed while he said it.

“Thank you!” I said, feeling accomplished.

“Mi… hwa… can’t… breathe-”

“Oh!” I immediately pushed myself off of him and crawled over to him so that I was above his face. “Sorry, hyung…”

“You’re just heavy is all,” Jaejin said with a mocking smile.

I wrinkled my eyebrows at him and pouted my lips. He laughed again. “I’m just kidding… Don’t do that to your eyebrows, they’ll become permanent. You don’t want to ruin your cute face.”

He reached a hand upwards and my cheek. I flinched, but tried to relax. His fingers were callused from all the hours and hours of practice he spent on his bass, but at the same time, they felt smooth and warm.

All the memories of today flooded my mind with his touch and his calm stare. Wow. I’d forgotten all that had happened that day, and just seconds ago I had been acting like we were little kids. My first kiss- with him- had just happened an hour or two earlier. I guess that was a good thing that I was comfortable around him.

Was he okay with that though? Was I too immature?

I looked to the right to where his lips were. They curved into a smile.

Hmm… I could be romantic if I tried. I leaned down, my heart rate speeding up, and met his lips. Jaejin moaned slightly. God. I don’t think he knew how y that made him sound. I kissed him a little harder. He caressed my cheek more.

Suddenly, a loud thumping came from the floor. Surprised, I yelped and pulled away.

“Yah! Stop with all your racket!” The neighbors in the apartment below us, with their stupid broom, yelled.

I grumbled. So did Jaejin. We weren’t even making that much noise… I thought, annoyed. I glanced back down at him again. His hair was sprawled across the bed sheets, his eyes squinted slightly, his mouth parted a little, his cheeks a rosy pink.

Was he getting ier? My mind decided to wander off into its own world and planted an image of Jaejin shirtless in it. I felt the heat rise to my face and ducked for the covers.

“Uh… we should go to bed.” Dang it. Dang it. You and your stupid mind. I could go for some milk right now.

He giggled. He then clicked the lamp off and joined me under the sheets. “Really?”

My heart was pounding insanely hard. I hadn’t really been thinking about it until now, but…

I was in the same bed as Jaejin.

We were going to sleep together.

But it wasn’t anything like our last time. This was us sleeping together. As a couple.

I didn’t think it would be this hard.

I must’ve been delusional.

What if… what if he wants to…?

Oh god. I couldn’t even say the word in my mind.

Snap out of it, Minhwan. It’s your first night being with him. You’re not going to move that fast.

But what if he wants to?

Why, Seunghyun? Why??

I felt his arms wrap around my body. He turned me so that I was now facing him.

My head was spinning out of control. It was like déjà vu; this had happened before, hadn’t it?

But it was all so different now. I remembered when he...

“Do you remember that night? When you got scared of that good luck charm Hongki printed out,” he said softly into my hair.

How did he do that?? I nodded my head. Of course I remember. I was just thinking about it until your psychic powers interrupted.

I felt him sigh, his warm breath soothing me. He hugged me tighter. “Don’t leave me. Never leave me.”

I could feel his heart beat again. It had sped up. I grinned and raised my hand up to his chest as I had done that day. I loved being able to feel his heart beat in my fingers. It was as if I was one with him. It reminded me of his feelings for me.

I grasped onto his shirt. “I’d never leave you.”

I sensed his smile. He kissed me on the forehead, causing my stomach to jump with butterflies. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, hyung…”

Why was I getting all nervous about him going too far? I couldn’t even remember anymore.

All that mattered was this moment.

Jaejin’s heart beating rhythmically. His warmth. His fresh, sweet scent.

How crazy he made me feel.

 

Maybe I really could be with him like this forever.

No. I knew I would.

 

 - - -

 

The next morning, another picture of me and Jaejin together happily greeted me.

On Twitter.

"Yah! Another one?! Jonghun-hyung!!"

"Pfft. C'mon. It's cute."

I tackled him.

 

 

 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

 

Ahhh, finally finished c:

Did you like it?? :DD Hahaa because I would be kind of sad if you didn't... D: lol

This chapter was just pretty much an epilogue (that's what it's called right? o___o) to the last chapter. This one doesn't really need reading, it just wraps up the whole "getting approval from the members" stuff. And I just wanted to write more Jaehwan love. xDD

I had so much fun writing this <3
I want to write more Jaehwan fics so bad, but I should really be getting back to my current fanfics.. xD

So yeah, I hope this made you see Jaehwan in a new light~ :3

Thanks for reading! Hope you liked it :)

Adios amigos. ;D