If you haven’t watched the Jaejin/Minhwan kiss on Youtube, here’s the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z0QSZFelLsQ

P.S. I haven’t actually found the whole fancam for this fanmeeting and I don’t understand Japanese so I’m going to make stuff up about what happened and what they said. xD

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It was supposed to be all fun and games. Nothing romantic or deep or passionate. Why did I have to get so hung up on the kiss?

Well, I was in love with him obviously.

It was at a fanmeeting in Japan. We were all being crazy and having a good time on the stage with the fans watching happily. We were doing different things that the announcer asked us to do. It was pretty crazy; Hongki took off his shirt, Jonghun danced the famous Abracadabra hip dance, and Seunghyun tried to be aegyo. It was hilarious. Jaejin and I were bowling over in laughter, holding each other’s shoulders to keep from falling over. I always loved being on stage with my hyungs. There was never a dull moment.

And before I knew it, I realized Jaejin and I hadn’t done anything yet. We looked at each other mischievously.

“I bet mine won’t be as embarrassing as yours,” Jaejin said smiling childishly.

“We’ll see.” I returned the smile.

My heart was thumping loudly. I knew the crowd would like whatever I did, but it never stopped me from being a little nervous every time this kind of thing happened. I waited in anticipation for the next “dare”.

“Number four: Jaejin and Minari will kiss on the lips!”

My heart stopped. The crowd erupted in cheers and laughter. Jaejin and I looked at each other. His eyes expressed how shocked he was.

I… was going to kiss Jaejin…? In front of all these people? What did Jaejin think of this?  I laughed nervously, trying to contain my own shock. 

This was going to be my first kiss. My first kiss, and in front of fans. Fans that had cameras.

And it was going to be with Jaejin.

This was definitely not how I’d planned it out. At all.

It was pretty ironic to think how, not long before this fan meeting, I was actually thinking of confessing to him.

I’d started to like him about a year after we debuted.

There was something in his smile and his kind eyes and soft hair. He was always warm. I loved hugging him, and even more when he hugged me. He was serious when he wanted to be, but most of the time was a pretty talkative and wild person. We played video games and spent time together a lot. I could talk to him about anything, even the most embarrassing things, and he wouldn’t judge me. He helped me through the rough first year as I tackled schoolwork and FT Island’s agonizing schedule. He was mature, helpful and thoughtful. He was pretty naggy, but looked out for us as a group. I guess he eventually won me over with that.

I’d wanted to tell him so badly. I tried to force my feelings aside though because I didn’t know what a confession would do for FT Island. Jaejin might stop talking to me altogether, and then the rest of the members would get suspicious. Then it would just get awkward with us. I would regret it my whole life if something like that happened.

There were many times recently that I almost lost it and just couldn’t hold back. Like… a couple weeks ago, for example.

I was lurking around in the kitchen late at night after everyone had already gotten into bed. I’d gotten home late after cram school and practicing my drums at the studio. I tiptoed around in my oversized pajamas, glanced around, and pretended to be ninja as I jumped for the refrigerator. I opened it up and pulled out the milk carton and cold chicken noodles. Yeah, milk and noodles. I thought it tasted pretty good.

I tried as hard as I could to not slurp the milk and to eat the noodles quietly. Even though it was close to one in the morning, I was in bliss. Nothing put me into ecstasy like chicken. God, just thinking about chicken right now is…

…Anyway. I finished the noodles, drank the milk and put the plate and glass in the sink. I figured I’d wash it later. Or maybe Jonghun could do it. Then I felt guilty with myself, so I just ended up washing them anyways.

I placed the cutlery in the drainer, pleased with my kind acts, and put some toothpaste on my toothbrush. I always tried to be resourceful when I could be. I turned around and brushed, humming to “The Reason is You” by Hoobastank.

When I was finished, I spat and gargled the tap water. I glanced up at the window.

There in the window was a face; a face like one in a horror-murder movie.

Being the mature, civilized man I was, I lost it. I screamed and made a break for the first room I came in contact with. I threw open the door, immediately slammed it, locked the doorknob and climbed into the bed.

I curled up under the sheets, still panting, and snuggled up against whoever was sleeping there. He was so warm. My heart rate gradually slowed. Who the hell was that out there? It couldn’t have been an illusion, right? I wasn’t seeing things, was I? I’d only had some milk and noodles. Was this punishment for eating late at night? Was I going to get fat? Crap, I left my toothbrush on the counter. I prayed to the food gods that the face was just my imagination.

Wait, what was I doing? I was sitting here thinking about food again while a murderous, blood-hungry man was standing outside our dorm. I was scared and knew I should at least wake one of my hyungs or call 911, but I was too frightened to move. A cold shiver went down my spine.

The body I was snuggling against shifted. He sat up.

It was Jaejin. My heart rate quickened again. “M… Minhwan…? What’s wrong?”

“Ah, I’m really sorry hyung. Shh shh, go to sleep,” I whispered. I tried to push his head back onto the pillow. I didn’t want to wake up Jaejin or have the mysterious man hear us. He clumsily swatted my hand away. He ran his fingers through his hair which was wildly sticking out in every direction. He rubbed his eyes. He looked so cute. At times like those I wonder why I’m the one with the “best aegyo” in the group.

“No no, what’s wrong?” He propped his head up with his hand, his elbow on the pillow.

“Um… there’s a scary man out there,” I squeaked. I sounded like a typical magnae, but it was the truth. I was terrified to death.

His eyes squinted. I couldn’t see his eyeballs, but I could barely see his face anyways from what little light there was coming through the window. “Wait… where did you see the face?”

“By the kitchen. I don’t know how he got up here… What should we do?” I shuddered in fear.

Jaejin smiled, chuckling a little bit. “Nothing.”

I stared incredulously. “Do you want to die??”

“No. We’re not going to.”

“How do you know?!”

Jaejin laughed again. “Calm down, Minhwan. Stop being so scared all the time. Hongki printed it off of the computer. He read somewhere online that the face will ward off bad luck. You know Hongki.”

My mind went blank. I felt completely and utterly stupid. Was I that naïve? I’d screamed like a girl and ran as fast as I could… from a piece of paper. “…Oh…” I said in a barely audible tone. “…S-sorry for waking you up, hyung.” I tucked myself a little farther into the covers, now filled with guilt. I must really be useless now, I thought.

Jaejin ruffled my hair. “You’re so gullible,” he whispered. He then pulled the covers over his face and came closer. “Goodnight.”

I stayed completely still for a couple of minutes. We were both under the bed sheets. Our knees were touching. I could see his closed eyes. I could feel and hear his even breathing. I couldn’t stop staring at him. All thoughts of the scary face were gone.

Well… not really. It still scares me today. But being next to Jaejin comforted me.

“Um, hyung…” I started again, “do you want me to leave?”

Next thing I knew, Jaejin had his arm around me. He brought me even closer so that my head was at his chest. My stomach exploded with butterflies. “No. Don’t leave me.”

I was stunned. I wasn’t breathing. What was I supposed to do in a situation like that? The person I loved was now deep in sleep, hugging me. I lay there wide-eyed. I wouldn’t get any sleep at this rate.

I finally sighed and breathed in, my stomach still jumpy. He smelled clean like fresh, pouring rain. I was familiar with the scent. I nestled my head in closer to Jaejin’s chest. His heart was beating calmly through his old shirt. I raised my hands up to his chest and grabbed lightly onto it.

I wanted so badly to kiss him. But I didn’t want to waste my first kiss like that. It was stupid I guess, but I felt like a first kiss should be something special, something shared with someone who loved me back. I didn’t want to waste it on a moment he wouldn’t even remember.

A special moment. Would I ever have that moment with him?

I blushed and smiled. At least we’re together for the night, holding each other like this. I was filled with contentment and tranquility. His smell lingered before I slowly drifted off into sleep.

I wished I could stay with him like that forever.

“What is this!?” I yelled when I saw Jonghun’s cell phone wallpaper the next morning. I snatched up the phone off of the kitchen counter.

“Ah, isn’t it cute~?” Jonghun cooed, pointing at it. There on the screen was a picture of Jaejin and I on the bed hugging each other. I blushed furiously. “I went to wake you guys up and found you two like that. It was too sweet to not take a picture of.”

“Delete it!” I whined.

Jonghun swiftly stole the phone from my hands. “Mm… nah.”

My face reddened more.

“What were you two doing together like that anyways? Hm?” Jonghun smiled deviously at me.

“Nothiiiing…”

“GAH. It didn’t work!” Hongki stormed into the kitchen straight to the murderous man picture and ripped it off. He crouched onto the ground and began tearing the paper into little shreds, a frustrated look on his face.

“Hyung. What happened?” I asked. I already knew what it was for obviously, and a happiness washed over me as the face was destroyed. I was also secretly happy it hadn’t worked.

“I looked up on the internet today. We only got 2^nd on the charts. We could’ve gotten first, but thanks to this LOUSY PIECE OF CRAP,” Hongki yelled dramatically at the shreds in his hand, “we didn’t.”

Jonghun whacked Hongki on the head. “2^nd is still good, you idiot. You should be happy the face got us there.”

Hongki stared into space for a moment. He then started to stand up. “Huh. I guess you’re right. Say, what’ve you go there?” Hongki asked, intrigued by Jonghun’s amused smile as he stared at the phone. Jonghun smirked and rolled his eyes at Hongki’s quick mood change. Oh my god, did he have to show everyone?!

“No, stop it! Don’t show him, it’s embarrassing,” I pleaded.

Jonghun flashed me a goofy grin as he showed it to Hongki. Hongki’s face lit up, his mouth wide open. He then looked at me, grinned, and started laughing hysterically.

“It’s cute, right?” Jonghun said.

Hongki wiped the tears that had started forming. “Ah ha ha, this is definitely going on Twitter.”

“Ahhhh….” I crouched down on the ground and covered my head with my hands. I didn’t have many things I disliked, but having my love life made public was one of my biggest hates. Of course, no one would think we were dating or anything. We weren’t. Plus, we were guys, and in the same group at that. But I liked him, and that’s how I would think of it as.

“Morning hyuuungs~”

“Jaejin-ah! You’re awake. You have to see this,” Hongki said enthusiastically. I poked my head up. He was looking at me. He smiled and said good morning. Of course, he wouldn’t be all cute and innocent after he saw the picture. I grunted and buried my face in my hands in embarrassment.

“See, isn’t it cute?” Jonghun and Hongki sang with sugary voices. I peeked through my fingers to watch his reaction.

“Wha- !” His eyes grew big. He brought his hand up to his mouth as he laughed that famous, loud “ha ha ha” laugh. I also noticed something else… He was blushing. He looked at me with a wide grin on his face. I covered my face again.

Seunghyun finally woke up after hearing the other members’ ruckus and walked out of his room to see what was going on. They showed him and he, too, laughed in enjoyment.

“So, how did this happen anyways? You guys aren’t roommates,” Seunghyun stated with a smile.

“Ah, okay, Minhwan should tell you guys,” Jaejin said.

I stood up. “No, I don’t want to. I sound like such a baby.”

“But you are the baby.” Jaejin smiled and tousled my hair. “Okay, so…?”

I sighed, but decided to accept my loss.

I told the story. At first I was reluctant, but I actually started getting into the story. I guess that showed how fast I changed feelings. By the end, I was laughing with everyone else.

The only thing I changed of the story was the ending. I could tell by the twinge of solemnity in Jaejin’s face that he knew I’d skipped it. Jaejin and I would be the only ones to know. I liked it better like that, anyways.

“I can’t believe you were scared of the good luck charm. It wasn’t that scary, was it? It wasn’t anything like the girl from The Ring. That was pretty scary,” Hongki said, shuddering.

“Alrighty. I’m gonna go post this on Twitter and you guys can go make breakfast,” Jonghun hurried away from our huddle. He didn’t get far until I jumped on his back.

We ate breakfast happily that morning. Actually, we were pretty loud. The room below us started hitting their ceiling for us to pipe down, but we were like this almost every morning. I felt a little sorry for them.

I kept looking at Jaejin. I couldn’t resist looking in his direction. Sometimes he’d be looking at me too. Sometimes he’d smile and look away. I always felt butterflies.

The feelings ate at me. I felt like I was in a dilemma.

If I were ever to go into a relationship with Jaejin, we’d have to be kept a secret. I didn’t know how the other members would take it. Also, I didn’t even know if he liked guys. I didn’t want to ruin our friendship with a little confession.

Although, if I kept my feelings to myself, I didn’t know what I would do. I might’ve gone insane.

I guess I needed a little bit of courage. Courage to confess, or courage to forget.

And there, on the stage, we were about to have it. My first kiss. Our first kiss.

I didn’t need courage; everyone was there giving their courage to me. I just had to lean forward.

But even still, I was nervous as hell.

Why did I lie and make it seem like I’d already had my first kiss? People would think this was no big deal. I mentally smacked myself. Obviously, it was too late to tell anyone now.

So many thoughts ran through my mind.

Jaejin.

Hongki pushed him towards me. He looked reluctant, his cheeks flushed. I couldn’t stop myself from feeling hot all over either.

He was finally in front of me. We were face to face.

“Well… we’re really going to do this?” I asked with a nervous chuckle.

“Haha, guess so,” he replied. He rubbed his mouth with his arm and smacked his lips. Playing along, I did the same. The cheers from the crowd rose.

We laughed at each other awkwardly. God, I felt so awkward.
I wanted to know more than anything how Jaejin felt. Was he as embarrassed as I was? Was he nervous? Was he disgusted by what was about to happen? Did he care?

Just then, Jonghun appeared behind us, his iPhone ready to record the event. I tried to keep myself collected, but internally, I very much felt like stabbing him.

I raised my microphone to my mouth. “Let’s do this then.”

“Yup. Sorry for what I’m about to do,” he said into his microphone. He tipped his head down, took a deep breath, and looked up again.

He came closer. I did the same. We made eye contact and, for some reason, bent over and began to laugh. It must have been the awkwardness of it all.

We both came back up at the same time. We both sighed deeply.

This was it this time.

My heart was about to explode.

We both closed our eyes as Jaejin came closer. I put my hand on Jaejin’s arm to support myself.

And it happened.

We kissed.

Seunghyun pushed my head into his, and our lips met.

And it was over, just like that.

The crowd roared with cheers and laughter. It seemed so loud at that moment. It was deafening. But at the same time, I couldn’t hear them.

I couldn’t think about anything except for the kiss.

Jaejin laughed loudly and paced around the stage again, grabbing his head occasionally. I lingered for a tiny moment and I tried not to face the crowd. I didn’t exactly want to show off my beet red face.

I could still feel it. It had only lasted a second, but the touch of his lips remained.

My first kiss.

It was corny and childish, but I believed a first kiss should be something special. That moment where you both realized how much you were meant for each other. When you realized, I want to be with this person forever.

I’d always thought it would be to a girl.

It would be in a quiet, secluded place, only the two of us.

It would be slow.

My stomach would tickle with butterflies.

I would be happy, and so would she.

I must have had too many aspirations.

Mine was an absolute opposite to what I’d thought it would be.

I think of it differently now.

But before, I thought my first kiss to be the worst kiss I’d ever had.

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Yeah, so there's still more.. xD 
I'll get the last chapter done ASAP.

Sorry if you're not a fan of Jaejin x Minhwan. I just love them to death~

I like comments >:D