“Sehunnie~” He kept calling my name. There was that voice again.

 

---

I sat down uncaringly on the floor, panting. Several minutes passed, I tried to reach for my backpack which was just around the corner of the room. A neatly, packed towel was on top that was used to wipe my face as I have perspired profusely.

“Get back on your feet, Sehun.” I whispered to myself.

 

“You should know better that moving on ain’t that easy. Just focus on your career now, please?” I added discreetly.

 

The dance studio was already taken care of. The white, monoblock chairs were already piled on top of each other. The floor was already mopped giving back the natural shine of its wooden, synthetic tiles. The wall mirrors were further wiped until the last dirt marks were removed. Inside the control room where the audio is supported; cables were already neatly tied, sorted and stored into their respective cupboards. Exhausting, yes, but it was the only way to relieve stress into achieving this much.

Time Check. It was 4:45pm, and there was still time to visit the supermarket to supply my daily needs. It has been awhile since I’ve tried doing this on my own. Usually, it has been Kai who do these matters for me as I have been busy preparing for Global Auditions and some rehearsals from school.  He offered his assistance to help support my time well. It was quite a bit hilarious since you’d mistaken us for a couple.

Lately, things have been rough. Since three days ago, I haven’t been able to talk to him about the incidents, and as well as about LuHan. I had no idea that things can get so complicated because of one simple misunderstanding. He does not answer his phone nor reply to any of my text messages. Even if I get lucky, I’d only be able to speak with his mother and be told that he can’t pick up as he’s busy with matters at school.

__

The streets in Seoul had been the same. It was always busy; it’s as if everyone was at the rush of things. The cold breeze from outside signalled the start of the winter season; that it was going to snow anytime soon. You’d meet many kind of people out here, as the streets have become very much crowded at this time of the day.

I travelled by foot to the nearest supermarket, where a brightly lit, well-defined signboard of the supermarket stood. I took a step in and grabbed a grocery cart along the way. I quickly strolled to load in the necessities. I then waited in line to pay.

“Items Packed! It’ll be 25,000won, sir.” The cashier lady wore a bright smile.

 

“Here.” Handing her the exact amount and I was dozing off again.

 

“Thank you, Sir! Please shop with us again.” She then gave another enthusiastic greeting.

 

I held the two bags of items that I bought and headed for the exit. At the distance, I saw a familiar figure. He was going to a certain café, adjacent to the supermarket. At first sight, I knew it was already Kai.

“Kai!” I shouted from afar. He looked back, but pretended not to notice me.

 

“Kai, Wait!” I pleaded and then rushed to his location.

 

I entered the same café where he’d gone to. He was sitting at the far right corner of the room, near fire exit. He was alone. I walked against his direction and forcefully sat beside him, but he pulled away.

“Kai, what’s the problem? I’ve been trying to contact you.” I began talking, but his abrupt silence persisted.

 

“Silent Treatment, eh? That’s not gonna get us somewhere.” My face frowned at the loss of hope.

 

“Please, Kai. I don’t really understand why you have to act this way.” Still, urging him to speak.

 

“You never did consider me, Sehun.” He spoke as he sipped his freshly brewed, mocha cappuccino; not making eye contact.

 

“What?” I replied confusedly.

 

“You know what? You should’ve just ignored me.” I took a pause when he said that. He was still making unusual statements.

 

“The most important thing was just tell me to stop.” He added.

 

“You know what, Kai. I know I should’ve told you first, but LuHan’s just a…” I decided to tell him everything.

 

“I know alright? LuHan?! Who’s this jerk, really?” He interrupted irritably and I was stunned.

 

“He’s just a man in my dreams, Kai!” My voice grew louder than usual, which made me a lot emotional.

 

“Just a month ago, I’ve been dreaming about this guy over and over again that I started to get crazy. I fell in love with him, Kai. ” Just like that, I spouted the truth.

 

“H…huh?” Finally, his eyes widened upon hearing the thought.

 

“LuHan’s just a dream. Yes, just a product of my own fiction.” I continued desperately.

 

I repeated what I said. “A production of fiction…”

 

“But still… the only person I’ve ever wanted in my life, Kai. But now he’s gone. Not being able to see him feels like hell…” My voice started to snap, but my hands were fervently firm.

 

The setting of the café further exemplified emotions that day. The dimly lit lounge, the jazzy music playing on background, plus the ambiance of the people inside all contributed. Everything was spot-on, everything was just on the mood to understand and be understood.

“Sehun-ah…” He held my hand with a tight grip.

 

“I’m so sorry… You could’ve told me sooner.” He shook his head.

 

“No, I don’t think it would’ve changed if you have told me sooner. I so much that I lost to someone like a dream.” He laughed sarcastically, and then a tear fell on his right cheek.

 

“What do you mean, Kai?” I was curious, but a bit hesitant.

 

“ I love you, Sehun.” He stuttered, but he was sincere.

 

My face turned pale and grim. For the second time around, my body couldn’t move. He scanned through my face, but then quickly turned his glance away. He was crying, he was definitely crying. I started to shake; it grew much worse when I realized that I haven’t been able to utter even a single word.

He stood from where he was sitting, again, I saw him turn his back on me. He sprinted as he headed for the exit, while I sat there and seemingly lifeless. Why it had to be me?

Minutes passed, I still sat there processing what just happened. Still, light headed as can be, I drifted my attention to Kai. I didn’t know what was going through my mind, but I ran after him.  My heart raced leaps and bounds just remembering his confession, how he stuttered, and how he braved his heart to say that.

“Kai!” I shouted his name once again.

 

“Kai!” I screamed hastily, but he went much faster.

 

I haven’t checked the time but the busy streets of Seoul were crowded. The sun may have set, but the street lights gave life into the night. I kept dashing towards him. It was hard to compete with a lot of people around us. Gradually, I increased my speed just to keep up with his pace, but I failed again. I was stuck in the middle of the streets as I saw him cross the pedestrian lane. Hurriedly gasping for my breath, I was not able to move forward as the traffic light at the pedestrian signalled a red beaming light.

“Kai!” I continued to scream out his name, as the traffic light suddenly signalled “Go” with a green beam.

 

Due to the continuous panting and the cold weather, my knees turned weak as well. I tripped on my own feet hurting my right arm. The people at the sidewalk were looking right at me. Their gazes were sharp and strange, much like predators who just had found their prey. I had no choice but to lie down since I couldn’t stand and it was that painful.

All of a sudden, someone from the crowd presented his help.

“Are you okay? You shouldn’t be lying down there; it’s too cold and filthy.” The stranger said in subtle concern.

 

“Oh, thank you. Ah! It hurts.” I stood up with all my might but the pain from my right arm still carried on.

 

“C’mon let’s go to that side. We don’t want mean fellows to gossip out here, don’t you think?” He put my arms around his nape and held me towards the nearest bench.

 

“Thank you so much.” I expressed my full gratitude, but my visions were hazy.

 

“Let’s get you somewhere that can fix that up.” He pertained at my prospectively broken right arm.

 

“Yes, I’m sorry I’ve caused you so much trouble.” I quickly stood up and bowed formally.

 

“Don’t worry, it’s not like every day that we’ll meet certain causalities, don’t you think so?” he stood up as well and bowed the same way.

 

At that instant when my visions got clearer, when I’ve got a hold of my surroundings; you’d think things could not get crazier.

But my feet turned cold.

My heart skipped a beat.

My face turned ever much paler.

The shaking turned even much worse.

Standing in front of me was the person I’ve depicted as perfect. There he was, just like in my dreams, perfect as can be, smiling with that cheeky grin.

LuHan.

But something was off, and I deliberately needed to know what that was.