pairing: krisyeol, xiurisyeol.
word count: 3000.
rating: pg-13.
genre: humor, fluff, romance(?).
summary: minseok had done everything to make sure this wouldn't happen.
a/n: related to this.
 

If Minseok had been run over by a truck he's 100% sure this is exactly what he would feel like. Every single inch of his being is sore and It feels like a thousand tiny hammers are pounding on the inside of his skull all at once. Even his face seems to object movement with the way his muscles scream at him when he tries to open his eyes. He swears under his breath and makes a silent promise to himself to never drink again.

He was mistaken when he thought it was impossible for him to feel any more like because when he finally manages to crack his eyes open the first thing he sees is Chanyeol's dumb face. It takes Minseok a few seconds to realize that this is Chanyeol, another few to register that they're both , but less than that to notice the arm wrapped around his waist from behind and the hot breath wafting over the back of his neck. Minseok knows who the person pressed against his back is without even turning his head to look. It's Wufan. Somehow Minseok has ended up in bed with both of his roommates.

Flashes from the night before start to hit him. There had been a party at someone's place, Minseok doesn't remember whose, but that's beside the point. There had been dancing and laughing and drinking. There had been lots and lots of alcohol. And after lots and lots of alcohol came Chanyeol and Wufan making a move on Minseok the way they usually always do. Only this time, for some reason and despite his better judgment, Minseok hadn't refused them.

He remembers now. He was the one who grabbed Wufan by the collar to yank him down far enough to on his bottom lip because it had seemed like such an inviting thing to do at the time. He was the one who slid his tongue into Chanyeol's mouth when he kissed him. He was the one who suggested that they should continue this back at their apartment. He was the one who coaxed Wufan into slipping his huge hands under Minseok's shirt, who let Chanyeol strip him and bend him over the couch and okay let's stop it at that.

Minseok groans at his own stupidity and then he groans because the sound of that first groan made his entire being hurt. He manages to liberate himself from the two giants' hold without waking them up, he gets dressed in whatever clothes he can grab from the piles on the floor and he does the only thing he can think of; he flees.

Sehun steps through the door of the cafe and Minseok lazily raises his hand in some semblance of a wave to get his attention. It catches Sehun's eye and he starts making his way over. “You better buy me all the coffee this goddamn place has to offer to make up for forcing me out of bed before noon on a Sunday,” he says before he has even sat down and as he slides into the seat across from Minseok he scowls and adds: “By the way, wearing sunglasses indoors when it's not even sunny outside is such a douchey thing to do.”

Minseok glares right back at Sehun even though he probably can't see it because of the dark-tinted glass covering about half of his face. “I'm hungover, okay, leave me alone.”

“You poor, poor thing,” Sehun says. He doesn't sound sympathetic. Not even a little bit. “So what's this so-called emergency? Go on, peasant, speak. My time is precious.”

With a groan and an accompanying wince Minseok drops his head into his hands and rubs at his temples. “I, uh... I kind of... slept with Chanyeol and Wufan. Last night.” Minseok squeezes his eyes shut and braces himself for the worst.

But nothing happens. There's no reaction from Sehun. Minseok lifts his head to look at Sehun, who's looking back at him with an expression that shows that he's utterly unimpressed. “And?”

Minseok frowns. “Did you not hear what I just said?”

“I did, but I just assumed that your problem would be something less obvious than that. Or at least something more interesting. Like Chanyeol having a really weird or Wufan hiding tattoos that are even more embarrassing than that horrid scorpion one.”

Minseok frowns more. “What do you mean 'obvious'?”

Sehun rolls his eyes as if Minseok is the dumbest person he has ever encountered. “Well, I kind of figured that was where whatever happened yesterday was going when I saw you face with Wufan at that party. I think everyone could put two and two together when it came to that. Oh, and you're also wearing Chanyeol's shirt right now.” Minseok looks down and sees the logo of some obscure band no one has probably ever heard of staring back at him. Yup. That's definitely Chanyeol's.

Minseok drops his head into his hands with a groan once more. “God, I slept with them. I'm such an idiot.”

Sehun lets out a noise of dissent. “To be quite honest I fail to see the big problem here. They got their weird, deviant ual urges satisfied for the time being and you got a great lay out of it. A few amazing s, no doubt, I know exactly what those guys are capable of. The way I see it it's a win for everyone involved.”

“You don't understand,” Minseok sighs. “I promised myself that I... that I'd never... I didn't want to be just another one of their conquests. That's not what I wanted.”

Sehun keeps staring at him, expression impassive. “So what do you want?”

Minseok opens his mouth to reply, but stops himself before he can say anything and he looks down at his own hands that are resting on top of the table. “I don't know,” he mutters. Except that's a lie. The real answer is 'more'. That's the problem. He always wanted more.

Zitao is of just as little help as his best friend had been. “I don't understand,” he says, frowning just like he does when there's a Korean word he doesn't know. “Did it not feel good?”

“Yeah, it felt great, but-”

“Then what's the matter? If it felt good you should be happy. Maybe do it again.”

Minseok considers this option and he finds his libido instantly agreeing, but his head, the one on his shoulders, is balking. “You know what they're like,” he mutters. “They don't give two collective s about whichever poor soul they manage to lure into their bed. With them it's always screw and dump.” His phone vibrates with another incoming message from Wufan. Minseok deletes it without reading it just like he did with the other dozen or so messages he received as well as all the ones Chanyeol sent him. Both of them have long given up on calling Minseok by now.

Zitao looks like he knows something and he really wants to share it, but he keeps his mouth shut. In the end he just sighs and instead ends up saying: “I think you should go talk to them.”

Minseok barks out a dry laugh. “Hah. No. I'm never setting foot in that place again.”

“It seems that you're forgetting that 'that place' is your home as well, ge.” Minseok contemplates this for about two seconds, mouth hanging open, before groaning and dropping his head into his hands with a low curse. “Go talk to them,” Zitao repeats.

“I'll give you fifty thousand won if you go there and move all my stuff out for me.”

“Talk. To. Them.” Zitao is doing that really terrifying thing he does sometimes where he looks like a psychopathic serial killer and Minseok instantly recoils.

“Fine,” he mumbles, averting his gaze. “I'll go.”

Minseok doesn't go. He goes to Yixing's place instead because unlike most of Minseok's other useless friends Yixing is actually capable of showing compassion. Sometimes. If he doesn't get distracted by a shiny object or something. Minseok regrets going here, however, when it's Luhan who opens the door and grins at him. “Baozi!”

Minseok winces. For more reasons than one. “I told you not to call me that,” he sighs, but there's no real bite to his words and the objection is more of a force of habit than anything. He knows by now that Luhan doesn't really care what Minseok does and doesn't want. “And can you please keep your voice down? My head hurts enough as it is.”

“Figures.” Luhan leans against the doorframe. There's a smirk on his face. “I think you emptied about half the bar's liquor stash all by yourself yesterday. Who knew so much booze could fit into such a small body?” Minseok keeps glaring at him. Luhan continues unaffected: “I'm also surprised that you're not in a semi-permanent horizontal position right now. But maybe you've done enough horizontal activity to last you a while what with you and Wufan and Chanyeol-”

“Stop,” Minseok groans, rubbing his temples. “Just... stop talking.” Luhan quiets, but he looks more amused than anything, the bastard.

“Who is it, Luhan?” Yixing appears in the doorway as well and he doesn't cast more than a single glance at Minseok before saying: “Man, you look like .”

“Thanks,” Minseok says dryly. “Can I come in now, please?” They let him into the apartment and he flops down on the couch, throwing an arm over his eyes. He lets out a long, overdramatic sigh. “I slept with them.”

“No , Sherlock,” Luhan mumbles under his breath. Minseok would glare at him, but moving seems to be too great of a hassle so he doesn't.

The cushion dips when Yixing sits down next to Minseok. He pats him consolingly on the thigh. “It's okay, I know how hard it is to resist them.”

“I didn't want this to happen,” Minseok says. “Everything is so messed up now.” It wouldn't be such a big deal if they didn't live together. But they do. There's no way Minseok can use the good old 'avoid and ignore'-tactic. This time around it's not going to work.

“You should go talk to them,” Luhan comments from his seat perched on the arm of the couch.

“If only it was that simple.”

“It is that simple,” Luhan says and now he sounds annoyed. “You're making this a lot harder than it has to be. Trust me, go talk to them. You'll see what I mean.”

“They must be happy to finally have won you over,” Yixing muses before Minseok can retort.

Minseok chortles. “Yeah, great. Another notch in their promiscuous ing bedpost.”

“What? No, that's not...” Yixing pauses and when he doesn't continue right away Minseok furrows his brow and actually moves his arm to look at him. Yixing, however, is looking at something behind Minseok, and when Minseok turns to look as well he sees Luhan frantically shaking both his head and hands. Now curious, Minseok ignores it and turns back to Yixing.

“That's not what?” he urges.

Yixing's eyes slide slowly away from Luhan and back onto Minseok again. “Uhm, it's not that. Why do you think they've been trying to convince you for such a long time?”

“Because I'm a challenge?” Minseok says with conviction.

Yixing shakes his head. “No. It's because they want you. Just you.”

“Right. Because ing everyone and their mother totally screams exclusivity.” The mere thought is ridiculous. Minseok briefly wonders if Yixing has really lost it now.

“They've been trying to make you jealous,” Yixing says. Luhan slaps his own forehead. Yixing looks confused. “Wait, was I not supposed to tell him?”

Sighing, Luhan reaches over to pat him on the head. “You're really sweet, but you're a little dense.”

Minseok gawks. He looks back and forth between the two of them. Something heavy is settling in his stomach. “Wait,” he says. “Wait. Wait... Are you being serious right now?”

Luhan lets out a defeated sigh. “That's why they've been trying so hard with you of all people. Their methods may be questionable and it totally doesn't make sense, but I know them. They wouldn't have done this for anyone else. They really like you.”

“.” Minseok drops his head into his hands for the hundredth time that day. “Just kill me now.”

Luhan pats him as well. “Go talk to them,” is his advice, once more a perfect echo of Zitao, and Minseok sighs.

“Fine.”

This time Minseok actually does go. For a while he just stands in front of the door going over possible scenarios in his head. He quickly comes to the conclusion that he's not prepared for anything. This was never something he expected to happen because he's always tried to make sure that it wouldn't, but now it did and he's so out of his element it's not even funny.

After taking a deep breath he reaches out to unlock the door, keys jingling in his trembling hand. It swings open before he can even touch it and Chanyeol is standing there, looking just as shocked as Minseok. “Hyung,” he exclaims after what feels like years of silence.

“Oh,” Minseok says. “Uh. Hey.”

Wufan appears and his eyes widen in surprise too. Minseok has never seen that expression on him before. “You're here!”

“I'm here,” Minseok confirms with a slight chuckle. He was prepared for the awkwardness, after all. “Uhm, I kind of think we need to talk.”

“We probably do,” Wufan agrees while Chanyeol just nods, still wide-eyed, as if he can't believe that Minseok really came back. Right now Minseok is having some trouble believing it himself, to be honest.

They go to the living room and Minseok stands while the other two sit on the couch. They're both watching Minseok and it makes him feel so . This is quite possibly the worst time for it to hit him that the two of them saw him less than twelve hours ago. The thought makes him flush. He shifts uncomfortably on the spot. His palms are sweaty. “So, I... I talked to a few people,” he begins. “About what happened last night.”

“Oh?” Wufan says. Chanyeol is sitting at the edge of his seat and he looks jittery, legs bouncing.

“Yeah.” Minseok lets his eyes wander around the room. It's easier than looking at their expectant faces. “Luhan and Yixing had some... some pretty interesting things to say.” He hears Wufan taking a deep breath. “They said that... they told me that you like me. Like, like me.” The other two remain silent and Minseok looks between them a few times. “Well?”

“Of course we do, hyung,” Chanyeol says slowly, eyes flickering to Wufan, who nods. “I thought we made that pretty obvious.”

Minseok lets out a short, incredulous laugh. “You've got a weird way of showing it if you really do... l-like me.” None of them say anything, they just keep looking at Minseok, waiting for him to go on. He feels dizzy. Maybe he should sit down. “So it's true, huh?”

“We almost gave up trying with you,” Wufan says. “You just didn't seem interested in us at all. But then yesterday, yesterday you just kind of...” He trails off. It's okay. Everyone in the room knows what he means, anyway.

“You're a ten out of ten, by the way,” Chanyeol adds. “You know, in case you were wondering.” Minseok kind of had been, but he won't admit that to anyone. “It would be nice if we could repeat last night some time. All the time would be great, actually. We liked it.”

“You seemed to like it a lot too,” Wufan interjects.

“We did make you come like five times.” They grin at each other and bump their fists together the way Minseok has seen them do so often.

Minseok groans and drops his head into his hands. Again. “This is so messed up.”

Because his face is covered Minseok doesn't notice that the other two are getting up from their seats. Not until long arms wrap around him and someone presses against his side. Minseok resists the urge to shove him away. “Hey hey,” Chanyeol whispers into his ear and Minseok shudders, raising his head. Chanyeol is smiling, but it's not the usual, deranged smile. This one is gentler. Minseok can almost fool himself into believing it's affectionate. “Don't think about it too much.”

Another arm twines around Minseok from the other side and a large, now painfully familiar hand is placed under his chin, tilting his face sideways and upwards so he's looking Wufan in the eye. Wufan doesn't say anything, though. He just leans in and presses his lips to Minseok's in a sweet kiss. It's only a matter of seconds before Minseok melts into it, mouth opening under Wufan's. That's a little scary. No. Very scary.

There's a hand rubbing circles into Minseok's hipbone and there's one slowly crawling up his shirt and he's not sure which hands belong to who and he knows that they should talk more about this, whatever the hell this is, but Wufan is kissing the air right out of his lungs and when he's done, Chanyeol is quick to take his place and it's all really overwhelming. It's also really tempting to give in. Chanyeol is already hard, rutting against Minseok's hip. Minseok can tell where this is going.

“So you did become the stuffing in a Krisyeol sandwich after all,” Wufan remarks casually.

Minseok makes a dissatisfied noise and pulls away from the kiss to scowl at him. “ you.”

He knows he's in for it when Chanyeol laughs and tightens his arms around his midriff before claiming his lips again and Wufan presses his lips against Minseok's ear and practically growls: “Gladly.” Okay. So. Maybe later. Wufan bites down on Minseok's earlobe and, much to Minseok's embarrassment, he whimpers. Yeah. They can talk later. Later is good.

~*~

A/N: chanyeol and wufan are dumb butts. you ing idiots, that's not how you relationship. minseok actually really wanted to be with them all along, but he saw them sleeping with like a billion people and he wanted more than just mindless , which is why he tried (and eventually failed) to keep his distance. some people already knew about chanyeol and wufan being dumb butts, but they figured it would be better to let them work things out by themselves. I have nothing else to say about this.

I'd do that thing where I thank people individually for upvoting and such, but I'm down down down so... not today. sorry.

off to update this now. bye.