JiEun stared on the opened window; her head was full of thoughts. Her fingers were playing with her engagement ring. The clock was tickling and she knew Luhan would come home shortly. She silently wished that Luhan would come back late.

She had been sarcastic about everything lately. Sometimes she wished that Luhan would get an accident and she could just cry to hide how emotionless she was every day. She knew Luhan tried his best. She knew very well that Luhan loved her sincerely. If there was a limit for his love, JiEun knew his love would pass the limit. She let out a sigh.

Just when she thought that Luhan was coming late, she heard someone was calling for her name. She turned around to see Luhan approaching her with a bucket of flowers in his grip. JiEun quietly bit her lips before giving Luhan her brightest smile.

“Happy six months.” He whispered to her when she had been in his embrace.

JiEun let out a giggle. She was unsure what she should tell Luhan but at the end she whispered the same thing to him. She didn’t want to hurt him yet. She gently took the bucket from him and caressed his cheek lovingly. A pang of guilty washed over her. She had forgotten their six months.

“Aren’t you tired?” she asked the obvious question and she knew what he would say next and then she knew very well what she would tell him to do. It had been the same repetitive patterns these last few months.

“I am. But you look good tonight; I don’t want to leave you.” Luhan whispered to her as he kissed her left cheek.

JiEun blushed. It was true that she was wearing the thinnest sleeping dress. It was her favorite. The black color suited her. The dress was also Woohyun’s favorite. He loved it that he almost made her to wear it every night.

“JiEun-ah…” Luhan’s voice awakened her from the dream.

She looked up at Luhan who was looking back at him. His eyes were soft and full with love that made her unable to talk. She sometimes just didn’t understand Luhan. He was fantastic, she agreed. But sometimes, she realized that she didn’t feel anything to him.

“You still have to wash up.” JiEun said softly to him as she peeled off the coat from him and pushed him slightly to make distance between them.

Luhan whined for a second but when JiEun gave him the stern look, he obeyed. JiEun took the time to hang the coat. Once she was done, she sat on the edge of the bed while her mind travelled back to the past. Her engagement ring was hurting her skin as she kept getting reminded of what happened and what she actually wanted for the past months.

She was missing Woohyun. That man who had destroyed her trust and made her to go through hardships when they were still together. She felt silly for missing him but each day, she missed him more. She wanted him more. She was eager to meet him and felt his touch on her skin. She needed him.

She told herself plenty of times that she was stupid for having the need to comeback to someone who didn’t need her. She always failed to convince herself. She somehow realized that she was becoming one of those women who believed that bad boys—or bad men could change because of women. She knew she was absolutely wrong—sadly, her mind didn’t want to listen to her.

She didn’t get enough time to think of what she should do when Luhan came out from the bathroom. He looked fresh. His eyes were sparkling with life. JiEun wondered if she would make those sparkles gone if she left him alone and went back to Woohyun. She knew it was possible and it tortured her when she realized that the man in front of her had been what she called as her second house.

Luhan was smiling widely to her as he dried his hair. He didn’t seem to bother by how troubled JiEun look. The last four months they lived together, Luhan understood that JiEun always had something inside her head. She couldn’t stop that and he had grown to get used to it. He tried to understand her.

It was her who always failed on understanding him.

“What’s wrong? You look troubled.” Luhan asked once they lay on the bed. One of his arms was used for JiEun’s pillow and the other one was hugging her from behind.

“Nothing. Why did you ask?” JiEun was thankful that her back faced Luhan or else it would make her lie to be obvious.

“You just seem so tense tonight.” He whispered as he nuzzled his face to her neck.

JiEun cringed upon his behavior but she held back. Her eyes were staring to the curtain when his fingers rubbed her arms slowly and lovingly. She got even more troubled by that.

“I’m not. Why don’t you sleep? You will need some fresh energy for tomorrow.” JiEun said as held his fingers which were very close to hers. 

“Are you sure? You can tell me everything.” Luhan said stubbornly.

“No, I’m fine, Luhan-ah. You have to get some sleep.” JiEun whispered.

She then pretended to sleep and when Luhan tried to talk to her, she didn’t say anything in reply. Luhan eventually gave up and forced himself to sleep. It wasn’t even close to midnight but she stubbornly forced the two of them to sleep.

She opened her eyes when she felt Luhan had already slept. She stared intensely to the curtain, wondering why the need to comeback to Woohyun’s side was getting bigger today. She had always got a good control over the need but today was an exception. All day, she only could think of him. She even had her own plans and without Luhan knowing, she had packed her belongings. She really missed Woohyun and it was getting worse by each second she missed only to wait Luhan and talk to him.

She wondered if Woohyun missed her too. How was he? Was he fine? She knew that she still had the key to his flat. She knew the key probably wouldn’t work anymore if Woohyun had decided to throw everything about her. Knowing Woohyun, it was easy for him to replace her with any girl he wanted. The thought stabbed her.

She slowly got up and sat on the edge of the bed once more. She looked at Luhan’s sleeping face. The thought of getting hate from Luhan hurt her but then again, she needed her own happiness. She was hurting and she needed something to heal herself. She needed her Woohyun.

She bit her lips before she planted a kiss on Luhan’s forehead. She quickly got up and changed her clothes. Once she was finished, she took the key she had always saved on the desk. Luhan had never asked her what it was. He thought it was for her job or something. Never did he think of it as the key to her previous boyfriend’s flat.

She looked at herself on the mirror. She examined how she had changed lately. She had never seen herself this gloomy for the past few years she was with Woohyun. It was torturing her, the fact that the break up with Woohyun changed her completely.

Her mind screamed to her, telling her to go quickly. She obeyed. She didn’t even look back to Luhan who was actually watching her while was pretending to be asleep. He knew this day would come. However, he stayed silent. She had never been his anyway so that was no use to cry upon her departure.

Once she was outside and went to Woohyun’s place, she could remember everything. She felt something inside her breaking when she strolled past the streets she had known for years. It felt natural when she dragged her suitcase along to his place. She was hesitated for a moment when she had already been in front of the door. The night weather made her shiver but she didn’t want to back away. Not now.

When she tried to unlock the door and it worked, one of her fears fell down. She pushed the door to slightly open. She was amazed by the fact that Woohyun still had the same key even when he knew that she still had his and could access his room.