December 14, 2012

            I have decided to write my last remaining week in this journal. I never thought I would ever write in a journal. But I guess I want to share my last remaining week with you. Or whoever finds it. So I guess I’ll start of by introducing myself.

            Mara. The meaning of the name Mara is “bitter”.

            My name is Kim Mara.

            I am 16 years old.

            I have Xerophthalmia, a medical condition in which the eye fails to produce tears. Well, guess what I have another disease. I have an Emotional Disorder. I have no feeling what-so-ever.

            Nice combination, huh.

            With the combination of these 3, they all produced me, Kim Mara. I guess most of you might know where I am writing this from now. Well, if you don’t, I'm in the hospital. Like a prisoner who is treated every single day.

            It is currently 1:42 P.M. right now, so I guess I will write you a brief paragraph of my life till now.

            Let’s say I was a happy-go 8 years old kid who is different from everyone. I was born into the Kim family. The “KIM FAMILY”. This means that everyone in that family line is awfully rich as heck. I was the youngest in the family. This was all before the ‘accident” happened.

            It was one stormy, cold, rainy night. My mom was driving home with me from my grandparent’s house. As usual, my dad was working 24/7. We were on the empty cold road. I was in the back of the passenger seat, holding onto my old brown rabbit teddy bear. I was slowly falling asleep until the car made a jerk to my right. It was such a sudden impact that I couldn’t yell or do anything. Our car flew off the road; the car was flipping like crazy. I thought I was riding in a rollercoaster, so as a young kid, I enjoyed it.

            I know you must think I was crazy but if you think about it, you would have been like that too. So continue on with my story.

            The car finally came to a halt when it hit something. The window’s glass shattered, some piercing my skin. I knew then that this was not right. I started to yell for my mom, who was in the driver seat. Since the car was not upside down or anything, I unbelted myself from my seat and climb into the passenger seat. I sat on the passenger seat. Looking to my left, I saw my mom. As a little kid, I thought she was sleeping. With her eyes closing and peacefully laying, I shook her. As I was shaking her, I began to cry, I wanted to go home. It was so dark and scary here. Knowing that she won’t wake up from her “sleep”, I decided to sleep too.

            By the time I knew it, I heard loud annoying voices and noises. I saw many things around me. About 5-10 people were surrounding me and many type of cars were here. I look to my left and never saw my mother again. That night was the last time I saw her.

            I remember that day when my family, not including my mom, went to this place. All of us where dress in black and white. The place was full of crying people. I also saw my dad cried. Many people were telling me to be strong. And do you know what I said back to them? I said, “Why? I'm always strong.” This made my dad even cried more. I don’t know why but when my dad cried, I began to cry. I just had this feeling of being left behind. That day was the last day I cried.

            Now skip to when I was 11 years old.

            It was that day. Mother’s Day. I knew by that time that Mom was dead. Going to the richest middle school in Seoul was one of the worst things that ever happened to me. As the same as always, I have began to develop no feelings. I was bullied every single day to the limits where I am limping from all the hits and bleeding.

            When I was 13 years old, my dad notice the changes in me. I was not as loud as I used to be, I wasn’t eating that much, I never cry anymore, and I don’t have any emotions.

            That’s how I ended up here.

            He left me here.

            Like an abandon kid who have no parents.

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December 24, 2012

                So, I notice I haven’t written anything in here since December 14, 2012. There is a reason why I wrote today. So as usual, everything is the same until today. It 11:23 A.M right now and this happen like at 7 A.M. today.

                Today, I woke up at my usual time at 6 A.M. today to take my medicines. As I was taking my medicines, I saw a figure in the corner. It was short and had a very dark and dangerous aura within it. I wanted to yell at it, but something made me shut for a while. It was looking straight at me. Just as I thought it would never look away, the door of my “room” flew open, revealing my dad.

                Taking my eyes of the figure, I looked at my dad. Without showing any recognition to my dad, I turn back to the figure, but guess what? It was gone.

                After the figure disappear, I lied to my dad that I was tired and flew off to fake sleeping.

                Now back to real time, I am currently outside in the cold December air. I am taking my morning stroll through the Hospital’s park. On my morning walk, I would see people with their families, no matter how sick they are. I was with the same person as usual. Myself.

                Tap.

                Tap.

                Tap.

                That was the rhythm of my pace. As usual, I went to the same place I stay. Approaching my destination, I saw a dark figure leaning against it. It look like the same one as the one I saw inside my “room”.

                Something’s off. I’ll be right back after I talk to the figure.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

           "That’s it???!!!” Zhang Yixing exclaimed as he flip through the diary to make sure there was nothing missing.

            Click.

            ‘Uh oh.’ Yixing thought as he stares at the door of his hospital room.

            “Hey, Yixing.” Yixing let out a sigh of relief when he notices it was just the doctor, Doctor Kim, “Let’s take your medicine.”

            “Okay.” Yixing obey as he faces the doctor fully. Taking one pill in one hand and a glass of water in another, Yixing gulps down his medicine.

            “What do you have there?” Doctor Kim ask as he points at the old, almost-broken diary.

            “A diary I got.” Yixing said as he caresses the diary.

            “It looks familiar,” Doctor Kim said as he came closer to Yixing, leaning forward to look at the book, “May I have a look?”

            “Sure.” Yixing hesitantly said as he awkwardly hand the diary to Doctor Kim.

            It didn’t take that long when Doctor Kim accidently drop the book. His mouth was slightly open and his eyes widen at his now empty hands.

            “Doctor Kim!!!” Yixing yelled out as he leaps out of his bed to grab the book off the ground, patting the dirt and dust off the cover.

            “I’m sorry, Yixing. May I know where you found this?” Doctor Kim said as he stare at the book with a concern look on his face.

            “I didn’t found it,” Yixing confess, “A little girl gave it to me.”

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First chapter is out!!!

-littleocean