I've read the recent comments. Some are sad *i'll use that term lol* of how i cut off the story and ended it that way. A part of me is happy, happy that this story of mine affected you, the reader. So gave it a try, to write again. But i.. i just can't. I'm sorry. I honestly did try. I even wrote the first paragraph for the first scene but I just can't. Writing.. it used to be fun for me. A way for me to express, and let out my thoughts and fantasies but now i just feel really empty. starting from the moment i said i quit. writing has become a burden. taxing. exhausting. meaningless. the spark dwindles fast. the flame extinguised. in the middle of writing, i feel completely empty and as i continue on the emptiness just gets deeper and deeper. back then it was my source of happiness, to fight off the emptiness but now it has become the factor of it. even writing this.. hurts. i.. just can't write anymore. i... never opened up about my feelings here.. i just said back then that i quit and i'm tired and said sorry. this story, especially the title speaks to me. because i am pretending. that's why i made a story that resolves around the title but i just can't. sorry once again. 

i made a draft instead. like what i did to praestigium.. for those interesed here's the link pretentious: finale 

thanks.. and sorry