Jessica woke up the next morning just as the sun started rising far away. She felt like staying in bed and never getting up again but ofcourse that was impossible. She made her way to the bathroom to take a quick shower before breakfast. Sadly the shower was stuck on cold water since she had forgot to tell her father about it. It had been stuck since last week and her father had had a lot of work to do lately so she didn't want to bother him and last night she completely forgot about it. When she tried to fix it herself it only resulted in the water getting even colder. She sighed and stepped in the cold shower, the water stung like needles on her skin and she hurried washing her hair as fast as she possibly could. An even greater stinging reminded her of yesterday as she looked at the source of the pain. Her left arm had long deep perfectly straight cuts all over. Her arm was a mess of silver white scars mixing with purple and angry red ones, some started bleeding again when she her right hand over them. She turned of the shower and stepped out, she stared at her arm, hypnotized. Her nails slowly dug into the latest cuts and the blood started pouring out between her fingers. Jessica had to bite her tounge not to scream but she couldn't help but to close her eyes and smile as her head faced upwards and she dug in even deeper.

Jessica was snapped out of the moment by her phone ringing in the distant. She quickly removed her hand from her arm and twisted a towel around it and herself. The phone kept ringing and she ran up to her room and was able to answer before the other person hung up.

- Hello ? Jessica answered out of breath.

It was her mother on the other end.

- I just wanted to let you know that there is pancakes in the refrigerator you can have for breakfast honey.

- Oh thanks mum.

- Krystal will be out of here after lunch so we'll see you tonight.

- Ok, tell her I sent my best wishes.

- I will do so honey, bye.

- Bye mum.

As if she couldn't take care of herself. She wasn't a baby anymore and she didn't like it when people checked up on her. She was almost always home alone and she didn't mind it being that way. She always felt uncomfortable when people cared for her and she tried as hard as she could to push people away. Kind of bipolar behaviour considering she wanted nothing more than to be close to someone. Jessica sighed and got dressed, she put some new band aids on her arm after cleaning it. As she put on her socks she put some lotion on her ankles who were also victims of her blade at some point. She wore socks and converse no matter how hot it was outside along with long sleeved shirts. People probably judged her in silence or maybe not ? She hoped no one did.

After styling her hair to perfection she went down the kitchen to have the pancakes. Although she wasn't hungry she took out 3 of them and heated them in the microwave. Their kitchen was a light pink colour with white furniture and a kitchen island in the middle. The kitchen was actually a really nice room with lots of sunshine coming in through the windows. Too bad Jessica couldn't seem to enjoy it most of the time. She had trouble eating alone and there for she always laid on the floor while she ate. Somehow it made her feel less lonely than sitting at the table surrounded by empty chairs. Today was no exeption and so she laid on the floor with the plate on her stomach, eating the pancakes in rolls with her hands. If anyone were to enter they would probably be shocked by the young girl eating in silence on the floor. Sadly this didn't effect her today as she still felt lonely and only managed to finish 1 of the pancakes. She was feeling sick, she knew too well that it was the feeling of being left behind. Even when Krystal wasn't in the hospital their mother only spent time with her. Although no one could blame her, what could she possibly do with her older daughter ? Jessica's only interest was...no wait she didn't have any. On her free time she usually either stressed over school or depressed over her sad life. Depression seem to always wait for her to make a mistake, always ready to kick in.

Jessica decided not to go to school today. She felt bad about skipping school but her teachers probably wouldn't even notice that she was missing. Her classmates absolutely wouldn't notice. Her mother and sister wouldn't be home until the afternoon and her dad wouldn't come home at all because he worked far away. Jessica decided to go sit down in the yard with some lemonade to distract herself from getting suicidal thoughts, she had never told anyone she had them. What would they say ? People would probably laugh her in the face and she could absolutely live without that. No one even knew she was harming herself, it was easy to wear long sleeves all the time since she was alone most of the time anyway. Not that people would really notice her even when she was in a crowd though. She managed to be invisible most of the time. At the occasions where she had to wear less clothes for some reason, makeup was her bestfriend. Jessica had also learned to always keep her inner arm close to her body.

It was sunny outside and Jessica sat down under a tree in her back yard. She leaned back against the tree and half lay half sat while drinking her lemonade. She glanced over the fence to Yuri's house, if she was home schooled she should be home by now right ? Just as she thought of that the front door opened and a girl came out. Jessica almost choked on the lemonade as she stared wide eyed at the girl in the other yard. She looked just like Yuri ! Then again it had been dark when she met Yuri but she could tell this wasn't the same person since she was thinner and had red hair. Still, they could be twins ! The other girl suddenly looked directly at Jessica and she turned away as fast as she could. Not fast enough apperently.

- Uhm hi there, I'm Yoona, nice to meet you ! the girl smiled brightly at Jessica who had no choice but to respond.

- Hello, Jessica, pleasure.

- Looks like we're neighbours now so I just wanted to greet you.

- Oh yes so I heard, I met your sister last night.

Yoona's face looked a bit shocked at that last sentence.

- Oh you met Seohyun ? She didn't tell me.

- No, I met Yuri...

Yoona almost dropped her jaw in surprise and shock.

- Yuri ? How ? When ? Yoona looked worried.

- Yes I'm sure, last night, I saw her standing in the balcony and we talked.

Jessica thought it was weird how surprise Yoona seemed and looked at her suspiciously.

- Oh...ok, eh I just-

Yoona rubbed the back of her head.

- May I ask what she said to you ? 

Yoona's face was serious and her eyes locked with Jessica's for a second before Jessica turned away. The other girl was making her uncomfortable, why was she so curious ? Jessica looked at the ground and rubbed her sides as she answered.

- She said you guys just moved in. She told me she was home schooled and ehm...that's about it I think.

Jessica kept looking down at the ground.

- Okay... Yoona sighed.

- That's good.

Jessica didn't understand what she meant by that so she didn't answer.

- Well it was nice to meet you, have a good day ! Yoona said with a weak smile.

- Yes, you too...

Jessica watched the other girl walk away. What an odd conversation. What was so weird about Jessica talking to Yuri ? Jessica couldn't figure it out, it made no sense.

- Maybe she just thought it was weird that they had met during night. Jessica mumbles to herself.

That was kind of weird now that Jessica thought about it. 

The sisters next door seemed to care a lot about each other. With Jessica and Krystal it wasn't quite like that. Jessica always only stood in Krystal's shadow and not only because she was shorter. She was just...less. Less than Krystal. Her sister had the ability to socialize with everyone. An abillity Jessica always envied. She usually wasn't the jelaous type but when it came to that... It would change her life completely and she was sure she would be much happier if she could express herself. 

Jessica began to feel down again. She went inside and layed on her bed. She burried her face in pillows and stuffed animals. She reached out for her computer and put on a song. The song that came on was a sad ballad, very fitting to her mood. she decided to nap a while before lunch. She crawled up in to a ball and closed her eyes, the music not bothering her sleep at all.