CHAPTER 4

The birds chirped on a sunny morning. Jieun opened her eyes to see Yong Guk’s bruised lips from the other night that wasn’t fully gone yet, now there’s another bruise on his cheek. She was tired of this. There’s not one day where she could wake up and see his face without any cuts or bruises. Every day it was always like this. She would wake up, get the first aid kit, and help clean his bruises. She was tired of it all.

“Is fighting more important than seeing me hurt…” she mumbled and got up. Jieun grabbed a set of clothes and entered the bathroom. Yong Guk felt the empty space and slowly opened his eyes. He sat up slowly because the bruised on his stomach hasn’t cured yet. He sat like that for quite awhile until Jieun got out of the bathroom dressed in her new clothes. Her hair was dried and put into a pony tail.

“Why up so early?” Yong Guk asked and smiled.

“It’s 9AM, Yong Guk,” she replied sitting down in front of her makeup desk. “I have work in 30 minutes.”

“Work can wait,” he got up and hugged her from behind.

“Yong Guk…” Jieun said. “I need to get ready.”

He backed away.

“Are you okay?” he asked. She let out a scoffed. He usually would know and understand why she was like that. He used to know instantly with just the tone she used and her facial looks.

“Yeah,” she faked a smile and quickly put on some light makeup. Jieun grabbed her bag and stood up.

“I’ll be back by 9PM,” she replied and was about to turn for the door when Yong Guk held her hand.

“You’re not okay,” he simply said. “Did I do something wrong?”

She turned and looked at him in the eyes.

“You should know the answer to that yourself,” she said. “Think it all through while I go to work.”

She removed his hand and left their room and apartment. Yong Guk knew the reason. He just didn’t know why she changed so suddenly. She always helped him, but today she didn’t. She didn’t smile, and she didn’t tell him to stop hurting himself. Many thoughts roamed his head. His phone rang making him stop. Yong Guk grabbed his phone and answered.

“What is it?”

“Party at my house,” Minjun said.

“I’m not in the mood,” he replied.

“Come and get your mind off of things,”

Yong Guk thought for a bit and sighed.

“Alright, I’ll be there in a bit,” he hung up and changed then left the apartment.

“Morning Mrs. Gu~” Jieun smiled at her boss.

“Morning Jieun~” she smiled back.

“Have there been any orders yet?”

“There are two,” Mrs. Gu said. “They are simple, so I can just do them.”

“I’ll do them Mrs. Gu,” Jieun went to put her bag away. “I’m a worker here for a reason right?”

Mrs. Gu laughed and nodded. She handed the two papers to Jieun.

“Rest for now,” Jieun smiled. “I’ll get these bouquets done and delivered.”

Mrs. Gu nodded and sat down. Jieun quickly got the simple orders done and wrapped. She placed them on the bike and rode off to the first address.

Yong Guk arrived at Minjun’s house. The front was crowded with cars of other friends.

“Yong Guk?” Suho was surprised to see Yong Guk there. They shook hands and greeted each other.

“Didn’t expect to see you here,” Suho said.

“Me either,” he replied.

“Where’s Jieun?”

“Work.”

“Yong Guk!” Minjun called his name. “You’re here!”

Yong Guk slightly smiled and waved at him. Minjun brought him inside the house with Suho following after them.

“I’ve got the best girls around Seoul here,” Minjun whispered. “Let’s party all night long and let loose of all those crazy thoughts eh?”

Yong Guk scoffed and left to get a drink ignoring what Minjun said.

When Jieun returned from her delivery trip, Mrs. Gu handed her more orders to finish and helped her out with the customers. It was around 8PM when Jieun was finally on her last order. Mrs. Gu had left early because her grandchildren were in town leaving Jieun alone with the shop. She quickly finished the bouquet, closed the shop, and grabbed herself a taxi cab. After delivering the last ordered, she left home. For some reason she felt a bit happier. She couldn’t wait to see Yong Guk. Once she reached their apartment, she punched in the numbers, and entered. The whole apartment was dark.

“Yong Guk?” she asked. No one replied. She thought he was asleep, so she entered their room. He wasn’t in there either. Jieun grabbed her phone and called his number but it went straight to his voicemail. She sighed and sat down on their bed. She’s tired of waiting for him at night. She wanted to go back to when they were able to be together the whole day. But to her, those days will never come back.

“Let’s have a drink,” Minjun said handing a cup of beer to Yong Guk, who was already slightly drunk. Yong Guk smiled and accepted it.

“One shot?” Minjun asked. Yong Guk drank the whole cup not replying to Minjun at all. Minjun shook his head and drank his cup.

“So any problems lately with Jieun?” he asked. Yong Guk slammed the cup down.

“She told me I fight too much,” he said. “She said I should stop. But I’m BAP’s leader. I can’t leave them by themselves. I have to stand out there with pride! Fight my enemies till I see their blood. But she hates it. She hates anything related to fighting. Today she sounded weird. She wasn’t the usual her that I knew. She didn’t help me with my wounds neither did she say anything nice to me at all. She told me to figure out what I did wrong while she leaves for work. But Minjun…she already knows what I did wrong. Why would she ask that?”

“To your mind up,” he replied. “Come on, it’s obvious she’s sick of you. She wants someone new, someone better than you. Think it up dude. Isn’t it true?”

Yong Guk laughed. He was drunk and his head was hurting. Minjun signal for the girls to come over.

“Let’s party,” he said. “And forget all that happened.”

The girls were all up on Yong Guk while Minjun smirked. He walked away to the other room leaving them there. Suho was walking around when he spotted them.

“Yong Guk?” he wanted to make sure first.

“Would oppa like to go to the bed?” the girls asked. Suho rolled his eyes.

“I got him ladies,” he stepped in between them and placed his arm around Yong Guk’s waist carrying him up.

“Here,” he gave them money. “Go have fun somewhere else.”

The girls glared at him but eventually left.

“What is wrong with you hyung?” Suho asked looking at Yong Guk who’s almost knocked out. He shook his head and carried Yong Guk to his car. He drove off to their apartment and carried Yong Guk all the way to their door. He knocked on the door and waited. Jieun looked at the screen that showed the other side.

“Suho?” she asked and looked closely. “Yong Guk oppa?”

“Hey Jieun? Open up,” Suho said. Jieun opened the door as Suho entered. He dropped Yong Guk down on the sofa and stretched. Jieun looked at Yong Guk. She could smell the alcohol around him.

“He was with me,” Suho lied. He knew that if he told her the truth then something terrible was going to happen. “We went for a drink and it got out of hand. Yong Guk wanted to challenge me and he lost.”

Jieun tried to smile but she didn’t. She let out an ‘oh’ and looked at Suho.

“Thanks for bringing him home,” she said. Suho smiled and patted her shoulders.

“No problem,” he nodded and left their apartment. Jieun stared at Yong Guk and shook her head. She helped him up and carried him to their bed. She dropped him on as he groaned but slowly went back to sleep. Jieun turned off the lights and slept beside him.

The sun shined at her eyes the next morning. Jieun opened her eyes and stared at Yong Guk’s face. His bruises were slowly curing. She smiled and noticed something red on his jaw line. She got up and touched it.

“Lipstick?” she was confused. Some thoughts went through her head.

“Yah, Yong Guk~” she shook him.

“A couple more minutes,” he waved her hand away and turned to the other side. Jieun rolled her eyes.

“Why do you have lipstick on your jaw line?” she asked.

“You gave it to me yesterday at the party,” he replied.

“Party?” Jieun was a bit mad. Suho had lied to her. “What party?”

Yong Guk groaned and got up.

“Weren’t you the-,” Yong Guk slowly remembered. Jieun was nowhere at the party he went to last night.

“I can’t believe you,” Jieun said and got up. “A party? I told you to stay and think it through because I wanted to come back and see you still here after work. But instead you went to a party and let girls smooch your jaw line?”

“It’s not what it seems,” Yong Guk stood up.

“Why are you saying that?” she asked. “It’s so clear to see.”

“A friend invited me yesterday to go and hang out, I didn’t mean to get drunk,” he walked up to her.

“You didn't mean to?" she let out a laugh. "So you didn't mean to get that little stain there on your jaw line either?"

"I was too drunk to notice," he said. "I'm sorry."

"Yong Guk, how many times do we have to go through this?" Jieun asked.

"Through what?"

She rolled her eyes and walked out of their room. "Through all t-this this CRAP!"

He widened his eyes and followed her.

"Crap?"

"Every single night you leave, and every morning I wake up to a bruised Yong Guk," Jieun said. "Do I have to go through this the rest of my life? It's the same thing over and over again. Why can't we go back to when we still had time to spend together?"

Yong Guk stared at her.

"I understand you love BAP and you want to stand by their side because you ARE their leader. You have a lot of pride and determination, but you have to understand that you also have someone else caring for you. Someone who is afraid one morning she will not see you there or anymore."

"I told you I know how to protect myself," he rolled his eyes. "Do I have to repeat this for you?"

"Protect yourself?" Jieun looked at him. "You're face is bruised up, you could barely walk straight, and you call that protect yourself?!"

"I'm strong!" he yelled back. "No pain can kill me!"

"Is that so?" she asked. "So if I walked out this door and never return will that not kill you?"

That struck his heart.

"What are you saying Jieun?"

Tears formed in Jieun's eyes. "What happened to you Yong Guk?"

"What happened to you?" he asked. Jieun was shocked to hear him say the same thing back.

"It's your fault," she said.

“My fault?” he laughed. “Well you want to know my answer? You’re the reason I changed. You made me realize I still have a reason to live. A reason to fight and know that I can still live and return to see you. Now what's wrong with you? What’s with your attitude huh? What did I do wrong? Do you hate me being a gangster that much? HUH?!”

He moved really close to her.

“YES!” Jieun yelled and pushed him back. “I HATE IT THAT YOU’RE HURTING YOURSELF! I HATE IT THAT YOU’RE NOT WITH ME AT ALL! I HATE IT ALL TO DEATH!! You always brush it off with ‘it’s okay’ or ‘I’m fine’ but to me it’s not! Don’t you ever think that at all? You really have no idea how it’s like on my side of the story. That’s why I hate it every morning instead of waking up to see your beautiful flawless face I see a bruised pale one.”

“THEN WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE?!”

That question stabbed Jieun’s heart.

“LEAVE! I CAN LIVE WITHOUT YOU!”

It fell into silence. Tears slowly fell from Jieun’s eyes. “Fine…I will,” she said and grabbed her luggage. She threw all her clothes into the luggage and zipped it. She shoved Yong Guk aside.

“We’re done,” she said and took off her necklace. She threw it at him and left without a goodbye. Yong Guk stared at the open door of the apartment they had shared for 3 entire years. The room now felt cold and empty. He shrugged it off and closed the door.

“Who needs you anyway,” he said closed the door and locked it. He threw his phone at the wall and enter the room. He lay down on his bed and drifted off to sleep.

The way down the apartment was blurry for Jieun. Her eyes were watery and tears fell down endlessly. She called Hana to come pick her up. Hana arrived and they went to her house. Jieun had told her everything and as a friend should, Hana comforted Jieun. Hana told Jieun to stay for the following week.

"Once I talk it out with my parents, I'll be moving back in with them," Jieun said. Hana sighed and hugged her once more.

"Do what's best for you," Hana said. "I don't want to see this beautiful face cry. You want to go eat some ice cream?"

Jieun nodded and slightly smiled. Hana pulled her up.

"We haven't eaten ice cream together since college graduation!" Hana yelled and dragged her out. They went to the ice cream parlor that they had always go to. They ordered the same ice cream and sat at the same spot near the window. Hana smiled at Jieun who simply tried to smile back.

"You want to play a game?" Hana asked trying to ease out the awkwardness.

"I'm not in the mood," Jieun said. "Hana, can we go back?"

Hana frowned but quickly smiled. "Sure!~"

They returned back to Hana's house. Jieun went to change and rest in the guest room.

BAP had tried to contact Yong Guk but he never answered. They called Jieun but she didn't answer either. They were afraid something bad happened so they arrived at the apartment. Himchan knew the number and they entered. There was a big dent on the wall and on the floor was Yong Guk's cracked phone.

"What happened?" Zelo asked. Himchan entered the room to see Yong Guk still asleep. Himchan kicked his leg.

"YONG GUK!" he yelled. Yong Guk groaned and turned the other way. Himchan rolled his eyes and grabbed onto the blanket. He pulled it away and threw it on the floor.

"Where's Jieun?"

"Leave." he simply said. "I don't want to see you guys now."

"I want to know why your stupid phone is cracked and where the is Jieun,"

"LEAVE!" Yong Guk yelled and sat up.

"I'm not leaving until you tell me,"

Yong Guk stood up and punch Himchan in the face. Himchan flew and hit the wall. The others ran in and widened their eyes at the scene.

"HYUNG!" Zelo yelled.

"LEAVE!" Yong Guk yelled. "ALL OF YOU LEAVE!!"

Youngjae helped Himchan up from the ground but Himchan pushed him off.

"I want an explanation when you're done with your hibernating crap," Himchan glared at him and walked out the door. The others looked in confusion, and followed after Himchan.

"Hyung, where is Jieun noona?" Zelo asked.

"I don't know," Himchan replied. "But I have a feeling a part of history is going to repeat again."

OMG, sorry for not updating in awhile -.-

i'm been so depress over BAP Live on Eart Pacific Tour.

I seriously bawled my eyes out. *pouts*

but anyways. i'm hungry for feedbacks? XD

*flicks kisses*