Joo Eunyoung

I look up at the gray-haired man who's chest I was leaning against to. The man who stole my heart and won't return it again, the man who breaks my heart on shows and mend it off cameras, the man who made me understand what love is.

"Wae? Oppa too good-looking?" he asked when he caught me staring at him.

I just give him a face and snuggled in.

Being just like this reminds me of the past where we could freely date and not care about what others say. When we were both young and immature. Back when we don the school uniforms and the only thing we're afraid of were the teachers. All those first started 5 years back

---

It's been 4 months since school started in March and it's a few days to Summer Vacation. High school was way different than middle school. There was no more playing around in between breaks instead the time was used to do revision. What unnie said was right. High school is a competition that starts from the first year.

The school bang rang at exactly 4 pm, signalling the end of class. I quickly pack my stuff to rush off to my dance practice.

"Yah Eun! Rushing somewhere?" my best friend called me out.

"Yup. Need to the dance studio before someone else takes it. Bye Subin!" I replied her before running out of the classroom.

Running down the hallway to the next block where all the lessons that is not base on academics takes place. The music room, the theatre, the vocal room and last but not least, my favourite room, the dance room.

I stop outside the dance room that I've been using since I started schooling to catch  my breath before I open the door but then the sound of music stopped me.

I tiptoed slightly to look through the glass window on the door and saw a guy dancing to the music. His body moves together with the music like as if they are one. I didn't know how I long I stood there but then the next thing I knew the guy was walking up towards the door. I qucikly turn around to make my escape but I was too late.

" Ah mian, you want to use the room?" the guy ask me.

His skin was tanned but not too tanned. It was a nice light caramel colour. His straight black hair falls perfectly down, covering his forehead.

"Uhm, ah yeah. But it's ok. I'll move to another room." I stammered slightly, glancing my eyesight away from the guy in front of me.

"Gwenchana. I was leaving too. You can use the room. Annyeong!" He waved at me cheerfully, his eyes turns into crescents when he smiled.

As soon as he said goodbye, I quickly rush into the room, backfacing the door, sliding down onto the floor. My heart was beating fast and my breath was short as if I didn't catch my breath just now.

I might have sat down on the floor for a good 10 minutes before I shake my head, clearing off the thoughts on the tanned guy and change into my practice outfit in the toilet that is provided in the room itself.

Clad in my three-quarter tights and a loose fitting tee, I plug in my ipod to the speaker and played a random song on the playlist.

Moving along to the rhythm, I let loose of my body, flowing together with the music, getting lost in it. One after another the song changes and I kept on dancing, not caring about the genre changing and only stop when I was out of breath and my tee felt really drenched. I collapsed down on the floor, limbs spread out, eyes closed. 

I normalised my breathing first and just lie there, not wanting to get up.

"YAH CHA! NO POINT RUNNING!" a voice outside, along the corridors shouted, awakening me from my rest.

I quickly sat up straight and the door of the dance room was bang open and the person quickly locked the door and slide down.

Sitting there, stunned, I couldn't move or say anything.

"Jo..jogiyo.." I called out for the guy.

He lifts his head up and I saw it was the same guy from earlier.

"Ah, mian. Can I stay here for a bit? I promise I won't disturb you. Just continue practicing or whatever you were doing."

I just nodded my head, not knowing what else to reply to him. Sitting at the same spot for a few seconds, contemplating whether I should continue my practice, I decided to pack up and leave the room. I can't practice with him watching. It's just too awkward.

Packing up my things, I get ready to leave, not even bothering to change out of my outfit. I grab my bag and walk towards the door only to be stopped by the boy.

"Ah, was I disturbing you? Mian. I'll go now. "

"Ani,ani. I was just leaving. Ah..uhm.. bye?" and with that I walk away.

I open the door and walk out when someone grab me by the shoulder again. It's the boy again.

"Yes?" I was slightly bit irritated by now.

"Oh, you left your ipod. It's yours right? he asked me while handing over my ipod.

I gasped and nod my head while grabbing the ipod, mumbling words of thanks to him. Aish, how can I forget my ipod.

"You're welcome. I'm Cha Hakyeon, what's your name?"

"Eunyoung. Joo eunyoung."

And I quickly walks away after that. I didn't know why but I canf eel blood rushing to my face and my cheeks are exploding with warmness.

Once I am outside of the school compounds, I was already muttering to myself, scolding myself for acting so stupid in front of him. He must have think I am an idiot.

Trying to push all the thoughts from my head, I plugged in my earpiece and started to play random songs from my ipod while walking all the way home.

 

It's been almost 2 weeks since my first and last encounter with Cha Hakyeon. Yes, I still remember his name. I did catch a glimpse of him in school but we never did bump into each other.  And I still am not sure what Year he is in. But I know for sure he is either a Year 2 or Year 3 since I've never seen him in any of my classses.

Making my way to the dance room again, I bumped into someone right in front of me. I stumbled back and fell down.

The person who I bumped into turn around and help me up.

"Oh, Eunyoung right?"

I look up to see the guy that I was thinking of.

Nodding my head, I manage to smile a shy smile.

"You going to the dance room too? Same here! Let's walk together!" He asked and answered altogether at the same time.

The both of us walk together to the dance room. Throughout the whole journey to the room we talk endlessly and I got to know that he is a Year 3, his final year and is a trainee to be an Idol.

I was amazed to hear that he was a trainee.

"No wonder your dance moves was so smooth!" I blurted out absent-mindedly.

"Oh, you saw me dancing the other day?"

"Uhm, ne. Mian.."

He just laughs saying it was alright and ruffles my hair.

We both enter the same dance room and I just stood there, not knowing what to do.

"You're not changing? You can't possibly practice in those right?" he ask me while walking to the toilet, gesturing towards my uniform.

I told him to change first than I would change later.

Well, the truth is I was not sure if I can practice in the same room as him. I didn't even know him well. What if he judge me for my dancing? I mean he is a good dancer, of course he'll critic me.

"Ah, eunyoungie, you can go change now."

I grab my bag and went to the toilet to change. Guess I have no choice now.

I took out my oversize t-shirt and shorts to change into. Haiz, even my outfit today is not helping.

Walking out of the toilet, I saw he had already started practicing. His body moces freely with the music and I can only stand at the back, admiring his moves. 

I was impressed.

"Was I that good?" He asked me after the song stopped.

I could only nod my head and smile, agreeing with him. He breaks out into laughter saying that he was just joking when he said that.

"Ah, Eunyoung-ah, just practice. Ignore that I'm here. Go!'

I walk slowly towards my bag to retrieve my ipod and plug it in the speakers. Britney Spears's Toxic started playing and I hesitated for awhile to dance. I look straight into the mirrors and he was behind, encouraging me from the back to dance and I slowly started to move my body with the beat.

I guess the music takes over my body because I started dancing like how I used to when I'm alone and felt that adrenaline rush in me.

After I ended the whole song, Hakyeon sunbae started to clap. He praised me and said that I was a very good dancer. Good enough to dance professionally.

"Komawo sunbae.. Well, actually, I'm going for an audition next week.." I told him.

"Jincha?! Eodi? SM? JYP?" he asked me, suddenly so interested in it.

"Uhm, JYP. One of my dance unnies is a trainee there and I just want to try my luck."

"You can do it Eunyoungie-ah! Hwaiting! Oh, it's almsost 5.30, I better rush off now. I have to go for vocal practice. BYE EUNYOUNGIE!" He ruffled my hair and grabs his bag before he walks out of the room. 

My hand moved up to the spot where his hands laid on my head. A smile crept on my face.

Ah Joo Eunyoung. Stop. He's your sunbae!

 

Months past and sharing the same practice room became a habit to the both of us. It is to the point that we'll know what time the other will come in and just simply greet each other before continueing with practice.

I got accepted as a JYP trainee and my days have become really hectic. Vocal practice, dance practice plus my own practice in school. I can't seem to remember a day where I will not reach home at 2 or 3 in the morning.

"Oppa!!!!!" I scream when I enter the dance room.

Hakyeon oppa who was lying down on the floor got a surprise and he straight sat up.

"Eunyoung! Jebal! Don't shock me like that!"

"Heheh, mian oppa! But oppa oppa! I GET TO DANCE AS A BACK-UP DANCER FOR BI SUNBAENIM! AHHH! OPPA! BI OPPA! " I started screaming around, grabbing his hands making him join my joy.

"Chukahae eun! Kaja! I'll treat you to dinner! kaja!" Hakyeon oppa called out to me.

The both of us grab our bags and walk out of the room and went to the nearby snack roadside stall for our meals. Being students and idols trainee, of course our allowance was not that much and this was all we could afford.

"Ahjumma! 2 bowls of noodles and 1 plate of dumplings please!"

We sat at the stall for around 2 hours before heading back home. Hakyeon oppa sent me home and lucky for us that day was a rest day for the both of us from practice.

"Komawo oppa for today!"

"Ah, it was nothing. But promise me you'll practice hard and shine on stage ok?" he hold out his pinky finger.

I smiled and nodded my head crossing my piny with his.

I turn around to enter the apartment building when Hakyeon oppa called out for me.

"Eun ah, uhm.. I.. uhm..Well-"

"WHAT?!" I cut him, getting annoyed with his uhms and ahs.

"Dyouwanttodateme?"

"Huh? What did you say oppa? It was to fast."

"Doyouwantodate me?"

"Oppa, I only heard, do and me. "

Taking a deep breathe he let out the sentence he have been saying, slowly and this time I catch every single word.

I stood there, clearly shock, not knowing what to say.

"Ah, gwenchana. Forget that I've asked you. Night Eun. Sleep well." and with that he walks away and I was still rooted to the ground.

I was unsure how long I stood there and if it wasn't for my unnie, I might have stood there the entire night.

That night was a sleepless night. I kept on tossing and turning and thinking about what Hakyeon oppa said.

Pabo-yah Eun. This was the day you've waited for and now you've make him think that you hate him. Pabo pabo pabo.

I grab my phone by my bedside table and type in 3 letters before sending it and smiling while I fell asleep, clearly satisfied.

 

"Eun! What is this suppose to mean? Yes?" Hakyeon oppa asked me straightaway when he enter our dance room.

Our dance room, I like that.

"Mwo? It's supposed to mean what it suppose to mean.Yes."

He just stood at the doorway, trying to understand what I just said.

"Jamkaman. You're saying YOU'LL DATE ME?!"

Nodding my head, I just sat on the floor, in front of the mirror.

He ran up to me and pick me up from the floor, twirling around before huggin me tight.

"But oppa, this musn't be known. You know why right?"

"Na, ara. But promise me, whatever happen we'll never break apart."

We promised and he lean down ever so slowly before sealing the promise with a peck on the lips.

My first ever kiss and it was with a boy that I fall in love with at first sight and it's a kiss I'll forever remember.

 

4 years after all that happen, slowly our chances of debuting was drawing closer. Hakyeon oppa was in the reality program MyDol which involves trainees from JellyfishEnt and the members for the first idol group of the company will be decided by the fans.

Oppa made it the group with 5 other of the trainees.

After his debut, I made my debut 3 months later. And even did a collaboration with Lee Joon oppa on Immortal Songs Stage for G.O oppa.

But the problem being in an unknown relationship in the entertainment industry is that you'll never know what will happen.

 

I was casted in The Romantic and Idol Season 2 and I was in no position to fight the decision made my the CEO. I didn't tell oppa about it and I felt horribly guilty about it.

 

On the day where I had my first blind date, I walk to the area that the PD  told me to and there standing there looking all handsome with a bunch of tall roses in his hands was oppa.

Out genuine shock expression was real because well it's obvious we didn't expect this to happen.

Everything became awkward all of a sudden but slowly it was ok.

But that was the only good thing that came out of that show.

Problems arise after that.

One after another and it was even lead to other shows that both of us attended. It seems like the company is making use of the both of us in the without knowing how much it affects our relationships.

The tears that I shed on screen was genuine and the tears I shed behind screen was even more.

But I guess what people say was true, small fights in relationship help to strengthen the relationship even more.

---

"Eun, yah!"

Hakyeon oppa was waving his hands in front of me.

"Yah! What were thinkin about? Don't tell me about the other idols that dahsed for you," he said sulkily.

"Ani! Eh, jealous oppa? Jealous that I have a lot of admirers and you have none?" I .

He didn't reply me and just look out of the glass window, taking a sip of his drink.

Seeing his 'angry' face, I decided to soothe him and retract back my words and did aegyo to him.

"Aigoo, my Eunnie!" with that he always pinch my cheeks.

"Oppa, what if we get caught? Will they force us to not be together?"

"Eun, I'm gonna say this one last time. Remember our promise 5 years ago? No matter what happen we'll never break apart. You understand. As long as there's trust and love, our relationship will stay on. Ara?"

Sitting up straight, facing him I nodded and gave him a peck on the lips.

Cha Hakyeon, I promise to love you and only you.